职介破事儿（2013）

I'll just have to do it for him.
我得帮他签
You're the boss.
你是头儿
Whoever did that in the toilet is clearly very ill.
把厕所弄脏的人毫无疑问病得不轻
Well, if they've used it to write on the walls
要是他们都用它在墙上写字了
we may have to consider that it was deliberate.
那我们就得考虑一下是不是故意的
Probably for the best Trish got a taxi.
幸好Trish坐了出租车
She'd have got all sweaty riding your bike.
要是骑你的车 非得汗流浃背不可
Yeah, well she's gone to Walsall. It'd probably have got nicked anyway.
是啊 毕竟是去沃尔萨尔 骑车去简直就是作死
Yeah.
是啊
Do you worry about getting sweaty on your bike?
你不担心骑车出汗吗?
Because some people when they sweat they smell a bit and -
有些人一出汗就会有体臭
Hang about. Walsall?
等等 沃尔萨尔?
Yeah. It's a factory or something.
是啊 是个工厂还是什么
You let Trish go on her own to a factory in Walsall? Yeah.
你让Trish一个人去了沃尔萨尔的工厂? 是啊
Some bloke called, said he'd got her phone.
有人打电♥话♥来说拿到了她的手♥机♥
You let her go on her own
你让她一个人
to meet a complete stranger in a factory in Walsall?
去沃尔萨尔的工厂见一个陌生人?
I've sent her into a nest of vipers.
我把她送进了毒蛇窝
And by vipers I mean factory workers from the Black Country.
我说的毒蛇是黑乡来的工厂工人
Oi, watch it, knobhead.
喂 小心点 蠢货
I need to book some holiday.
我要请假
You know how to do that, don't you? You're deputy manager.
你知道怎么操作吧? 你可是副经理呢
Yes, I can do that.
没错 我知道
Go on then.
那就继续吧
Are you going anywhere nice? Specialist hotel in the Lake District.
要去哪个好地方? 湖区的精品酒店
Great. Does it do activities, watersports?
好棒 那边有什么活动吗 水上运动什么的?
I certainly hope so.
希望有吧
Is it me or is this computer really slow?
到底是我慢还是这台电脑慢?
It's you. Put me down for the last week in June when you've worked it out.
是你 等你弄好了把我记到六月的最后一周
She hates me. She hates everyone.
她讨厌我 她讨厌所有人
Sorry, Natalie, I'd just got to the train station
抱歉 Natalie 我刚到火车站
and my spirit guide reminded me I'd forgotton to sign my form.
我的灵魂向导提醒我忘了在表格上签字
Pardon? I didn't sign my form to get my benefits.
什么? 我没签拿福利的表
Oh, don't worry.
别担心
I signed it for you. You what?
我帮你签了 你什么?
I bent the rules a bit and signed it for you so you'd get your money.
我通融了一下 帮你签好了 你会拿到钱的
That's fraud. No, no, that's not fraud.
那是骗人 不不 没骗你
I mean, it is fraud but it's good fraud.
我是说 虽然骗了你但这是善意的谎言
It's helpful fraud.
是乐于助人的谎言
You know you've done wrong, Natalie.
你知道你错了 Natalie
Your energy's gone a guilty sort of red, along with your face.
你的精神变成了愧疚的红色 你的脸也是
I want to see your manager.
我要见你们的经理
I was trying to be a good manager. I'm such an idiot.
我只想努力做个好经理 我真傻
You're not. Angela's right I'm not cut out for this job.
别这么想 Angela说得没错 我不适合做这个
You are cut out for this job, right? I'm going to fix this.
你很适合干这个 不是吗? 我帮你解决
How?
怎么解决?
I've absolutely no idea. I'm going to need more bleach.
其实我也没想好 我得多拿点漂白剂
It's all up the light fitting.
弄得灯上都是了
Janette, have you not been on the welcome desk?
Janette 你是不是没在前台?
No, I've been up to my elbows all morning.
没啊 我一早上都在忙
Come with me.
跟我来
All right, darling!
好啊 亲爱的!
Ahem. Excuse me, I'm looking for Connor?
呃哼 对不起 我找Connor
Are you the woman who left the voicemails?
你就是留语♥音♥信息的那个女人?
Yes. I'm sorry for calling you
没错 对不起把你叫成
a vicious... little cow.
恶毒的...小母牛
And a bitch.
还有贱♥人♥
And that.
是的
How can I be sure this is your phone?
我怎么知道这是你的手♥机♥?
Oh, um, I'm not sure I've got any ID.
呃 我不知道有没有带证件
Have you got any distinguishing features?
你有没有什么显著的特征?
What do you mean? You know tattoos, moles.
你指什么? 像纹身啊 痣啊
Birthmark in the shape of a 50p piece on your left arse cheek?
你左屁♥股♥蛋上是不是有个50便士大小的胎记?
I beg your pardon. Nice tits by the way.
你再说一遍 乳♥头♥还不错哦
OK. That phone is the personal private property of a person...
那部手♥机♥是私有财产...
and you have no right to look at my... tit pictures.
你没有权利看我的...乳♥头♥照
We only had a quick look. Give it back right now.
我们只是粗略扫了一下 马上还给我
OK, sorry.
好吧 对不起
Good grief. Trish.
老天爷啊 Trish
Paul, what are you doing here? Making sure you're all right.
Paul 你来这儿干嘛? 看看你有没有事
I'm fine.
我没事
It's a stitch. Any chance of a glass of water?
好疼 有水吗?
Are you the lucky bloke in them dirty pictures? Eh?
你就是艳照里那个走运的家伙? 啊?
On her phone. Are them your clock weights on her chin?
她手♥机♥里的 压在她下巴上的是你的钟吧?
But I don't look anything like Trish.
但是我长得一点都不像Trish
He doesn't know what Trish looks like. Please, I could get the sack.
他不知道Trish长什么样 拜托了 我会被解雇的
We're not having that. Brilliant.
不会的 很好
So, just pretend you are Trish.
只要假装你是Trish
Copy how she acts, how she talks. -OK.
学她的行事和说话方式 -好的
Team work makes the dream work, Karl. Not bad.
团队合作才能梦想成真 Karl 还不赖
Fine, fine. I'm fine.
没事 没事 我很好
That's good. I'm having lots of sex with a younger man.
还不错 我经常跟年轻小伙床战呢
Bit too much.
有点过了
Oh, what about Angela? Already taken care of.
Angela怎么办? 早就想到了
She's going to be occupied for at least the next hour.
她至少在接下来的一小时里是有得忙了
What have you done to find work in the last two weeks?
在过去两周你都是怎么找工作的?
I've been wearing this tie.
我系了这条领带
You've been wearing a tie?
你系了条领带?
I see. I'll be perfectly honest with you, it hasn't really worked.
我明白了 我实话跟你说吧 根本没用
You surprise me. I think people see me wearing it
你让我大开眼界 我觉得别人看到我戴了这个
and they assume that I'm already a high-flying business executive.
就以为我已经是个成功的商务人士了
But Karl has put me onto a job that he really thinks I should go for.
不过Karl介绍我去应聘了一个他觉得很适合我的工作
Welfare assistant in a cats home?
猫类收♥容♥所♥的福利助理?
He reckons I'll be perfect for it.
他觉得我是最佳人选
I'll be the judge of that. Why do you want to work in a cats home?
我会看着办的 你为什么想去猫类收♥容♥所♥工作?
Cats are very clever. I believe they're at the top of the evolutionary ladder.
猫猫可聪明了 我觉得它们已经进化到最高级了
Next time they evolve, they'll be able to speak.
再进化下去 它们就能开口说话了
And write.
还有写字
I couldn't agree more.
我完全同意
It's cats, us, then monkeys.
顺序应该是猫 人类 猴子
Oh, what a fool.
我真傻
I should have deleted these when we split up. Stupid really.
我们分手的时候我就该删掉的 傻到家了
That's it. All gone.
好了 全没了
Goodbye, Tom. I'm so lucky no-one else can see those pictures.
永别了 Tom 好了 再也没有人能看到那些照片了
Unless he put 'em up on the Internet. What?
除非他把照片放在了网上 什么?
People don't do that, do they?
没有人会那么做的 不是吗?
Apparently some men do like to share amateur pornography.
其实有些男的很喜欢分享私人艳照
Oh, buggeration, Paul, what if I've gone viral?
呵呵 Paul 要是我中招了怎么办?
I could check online for you.
我可以帮你在网上查一下
I'm going to need to know a few details so I know what to look for.
我得知道一点细节 那样方便查找
Just Google 'naked ladies'.
就查'裸女'
We might need to be a bit more specific.
要再详细一点
OK,
好吧
try... naked Dragon's Den.
试试...赤♥裸♥的龙之屋
Tom was into it.
Tom很喜欢
He used to pretend to be a young entrepreneur in need of investment.
他曾经假扮成一个在找投资的年轻企业家
I was Deborah Meaden. Just type it in.
我是Deborah Meaden 找找看
Er... is that you?
呃...这是你吗?
No.
不是
She's amazing. Mm.
她好赞 嗯
Did you really think that could be me?
你真的觉得那个是我?
I don't see why not. Oh.
完全有可能啊 噢
Thank you. Do you know what? Forget it.
谢谢 知道吗? 忘掉它吧
If there are pictures of you, good luck to the blokes that find 'em.
要是真有你的照片 看到的家伙简直行大运了
You've got nothing to be ashamed of.
你没什么可羞耻的
You're right.
你说得对
I have a... a cracking chassis.
我...身材还不错
I should probably keep looking, just to make sure.
我最好再找找 以防万一
Remember, you've got to show you're in charge so really go for it.
记住 你得表现得像个负责人 要全力以赴
Trish, this is Mr Taylor.
Trish 这是Taylor先生