职介破事儿（2013）

Trish? Oh. You're a sleepy head.
Trish? 噢 瞌睡鬼
How do you like your eggs?
你喜欢几成熟的蛋蛋?
Oh, I was dreading it, Karl. I mean, the day of the divorce.
哦 我还挺发愁的 Karl 离婚的时候
Sounds like a horror film.
想想就害怕
And when you suggested work drinks to celebrate, I really wasn't sure.
你说要搞工作聚餐庆祝一下 我本来还不大想去
But I had one of the best nights of my life.
但是我度过我人生中的销魂一晚啊
It went off. Oh. Did it?
忧愁一扫而光啊 是吗?
Well, don't you remember?
你不记得了吗?
Janette was grinding George.
Janette狂灌George
Paul downed half a pint of rose.
Paul喝了半品脱的玫瑰葡萄酒
You lifted me up like in Dirty Dancing.
你还模仿《辣身舞》把我抱了起来
Oh, what am I like?
喔 那是什么样子?
Honestly. And who'd have thought it, eh? Me, the younger man.
话说 谁能料想到呢? 老娘也能吃嫩草
Oh, my God. You all right?
苍天啊 你还好吧?
Yeah, I'm just... I'm just tired. I'm not surprised.
没事儿 我只是...只是累了 正常
You were like the Duracell bunny last night!
你昨晚欢蹦得跟金霸王电池兔一样!
I couldn't keep up with you.
我都跟不上你
Ooh, I'll drop you here.
噢 我把你放这儿吧
I don't want the new girl thinking you're the boss's favourite.
我可不想让新来的姑娘觉得我偏心你
That's absolutly fine.
说的太对了
I can't get out. Well, just pull your knob up.
我出不去 把拔♥出♥来♥就行了
That sounded rude.
算开黄腔吗
Oh, dear.
哦 天啊
I haven't drunk that much since I got the all clear.
自从我戒了酒之后就没喝过那么多
You were in a right state. I woke up with a wet sleeve
你还挺健康的 我醒过来的时候袖子都湿了
And three Koi carp in a bin bag.
旁边垃圾袋里还有三条锦鲤
I fell asleep in the lounge.
我在酒吧里睡着了
Crazy.
真疯狂
How do you do it? You're half the size of a normal person.
你怎么样? 你只有半个人高
It doesn't affect me. I did three loads of ironing when I got in.
一点儿不影响 我回家还熨了三筐衣服呢
Here he is.
人来了
How was the after party? What 'after' party?
第二茬儿聚会怎么样? 什么第二茬儿?
Well, you insisted we all went back to yours. Did I? Did you?
你当时非要我们都跟你回家 我有吗?你们去啦?
Have you had a head injury? I don't really remember much.
你失忆了吗? 我不太记得起来了
I warned you about mixing your drinks.
我可是劝过你别做炸♥弹♥酒的
Never ends well when I drink Sambuca.
我一喝圣勃卡利口酒就准没好事儿
We went home when the pub kicked out.
酒吧打烊的时候我们就回家了
Trish went back to yours.
Trish跟你回家了
Anyone fancy a tea?
有人要来杯茶吗?
I...er... I mixed my drinks.
我...我也做炸♥弹♥酒了
You mixed lemonade with lager. It's not the same.
你用柠檬汁跟淡啤混的 没法儿比啊
Sorry. That's all right. You come first.
抱歉 没关系 你先进来
Come on, guys.
快来 小伙伴们
I totally crashed out. I didn't even put my pyjamas on.
我很快就睡着了 都没来得及换上睡衣
Morning, Trish. Morning, Paul.
早 Trish 早啊 Paul
Come on, everyone. Settle yourselves.
大家快来 各就各位
So, can I just say a big thank you to everyone who came out last night?
首先我想向昨晚出来的各位同仁表示强烈的感谢
Honestly. I should get divorced every week.
我真想每周都离婚
You missed a cracking night, Angela. I'll live.
你错过了超棒的一晚 Angela 又死不了
As you know, job centres are changing. To help lighten my load,
你们也知道 就业中心有变动了 为了减轻我的负担
we have got ourselves a brand new shiny deputy manager -
我们要迎来一名新人 副经理-
Natalie Mason. Little clap.
Natalie Mason 鼓掌欢迎
Natalie, why don't you say a few words?
Natalie 来说几句?
Yeah. OK. Hi, everyone, I'm Natalie.
好的 大家好 我是Natalie
Hello, Natalie. Hi.
你好 Natalie 嗨
I'm 25. I'm really excited to be here.
我今年25岁 来到这儿很高兴
And... erm... what about myself?
还有什么呢?
Er... I'm a virgin.
我是个新手（处♥女♥）
Whoo!
喔!
A job centre virgin. Natalie's a young professional.
就业中心的新手 Natalie虽然很年轻但是很专业
She used to work in recruitment. Oh, my God. That's amazing.
她之前在招聘部门工作 天啊 真棒
Yeah, I've never worked in a job centre before. I was on the management training scheme.
我之前没在就业中心工作过 我参加了管理培训计划
Sailed through with flying colours.
以优异成绩顺利通过
I want to do something first put people first
我想做的是以人为本
not commission - it's great to be somewhere with no targets.
而不是以佣金为先 不设立硬性目标
But we have got... OK, thanks, George.
但是我们有... 好的 谢谢 George
No, I'm just saying that we have got... Sssh!
不是 我只是想说我们有... 闭嘴!
Have we got any questions?
提问时间?
Don't you think you're too young
你不觉得你乳臭未干 经验不够 不足以担当副经理吗?
Good question. Great question. I am young but I've got loads of ideas.
好问题 问得好 我是很年轻 但是我有很多新的想法
Like what?
比如呢?
OK. As you all know, Angela has been public in her disapoitment being over look for the deputy manager.
大家都看得出来 Angela没当上副经理 沮丧得很
However we have now reached a settlement.
不管怎么说 我们现在已经收到了委任
I have agreed to award Angela the position cost cutting champion.
我同意任命Angela为成本削减担当
and Angela has agreed to pay for the accidental damage to my car.
Angela也答应赔我修车钱
But Angela's already Hot Drinks and Litter Champion.
但是Angela已经是热饮和垃圾担当了
And that's the end of the matter, Paul.
这事儿不再议了 Paul
It's just so great to have you here. It gets lonely at the top.
你来了真好 高处不胜寒啊
Especially for a woman. I hear you, sister.
孤单寂寞冷啊 有我呢 姐们儿
Very, very funny. This is exactly how I imagined it.
真好 跟我想象的一样
And yes, I'm your boss but I also want to be like your best friend.
没错 我是你的上司 但是我希望我们相处得想朋友一样
My boss friend.
我的上司朋友
Ooh, just bonding. Oh, this is great.
喔 合二为一啦 真好
Cos I think it's important we can talk to each other about anything.
因为我认为我们能做到无话不谈那是最重要的了
Please do. OK.
那就谈呗 好的
Last night I had sex for the first time in 2 and half years!
昨晚是我两年半以来第一次滚床单
Good for you.
祝贺你
Sorry I've just been bursting to tell someone.
抱歉 我憋不住想说
That... That's great.
那...那很好啊
Back on the horse and all that.
重新开始了那么
Not wrong. It's like Buckaroo.
也不错 就像是电影《天生爱神》
So unexpected. I mean, I went back to Karl's flat -
始料不及啊 我是说 我回到Karl的公♥寓♥
Oh, you and Karl. No, that would have been totally inappropriate.
你跟Karl 不是 那样就太不合适了
Little management tip, Natalie.
一点管理建议 Natalie
Don't indulge in sexual relations with any of your team. Yeah, got it.
不要跟工作上的同事搞在一起 好的 明白
Don't poo on your own doorstep. Exactly.
兔子不吃窝边草 没错
Anyway, I got chatting to Karl's flat mate, Tom.
总之 我跟Karl的室友Tom聊上了
He's a landscape gardener so F-I-T.
他是个园艺师 多合适啊
Did he sow his seed?
那他播种了吗?
That works because he's a gardener.
这个双关说的好 他是园丁嘛
But yes. Yes, he did.
是的 他播种了
Why is the stationery cupboard locked?
为什么文具柜上锁了?
Because, as Cost Cutting Champion, I need to supervise our resources.
因为我作为成本削减担当得监管物料
I only want a biro. You have to ask me first.
我只是想要个圆珠笔 你要来问过我先
Can I have a biro, please, Angela?
我能拿个圆珠笔吗 Angela?
You need to fill out a request form. Am not filling out form for a biro.
你需要填个申请表 我才不为了个圆珠笔填表
I'm a fraud officer. Rules are rules.
我是反诈专员 规矩面前 人人平等
How am I supposed to fill this in if I haven't got a pen?
我都没有笔怎么填这个?
Use a pencil. I haven't got a pencil.
用铅笔 我没有铅笔
You all right? Great, thanks. just logging on.
你还好吧? 很好 谢谢 登个录嘛
Nice mouse action.
鼠标玩儿得不错
I sit there so anything else just...
我就坐那儿 还有什么就...
holler.
吼一声
Someone's been a dirty sausage.
某人性福了
You and Trish, eh?
你跟Trish 嗯?
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不知道你在说什么
You had full sex with Trish last night.
昨晚你跟Trish做了全套
George... Paul said.
George... Pauls说的
George. Can I just explain?
George 容我解释一下?
Yes, I had sex... Full sex... with Trish but I was very drunk.
是的 我跟Trish睡了...全套...但是我喝醉了
I don't remember any of it. Actually, I don't No,no, it's all right.
我全都不记得了 其实 我不 不 不用 没关系
I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I'm a hit with women.
我不想给你留下错误的印象 以为我异性缘好
No, you're not.
不 你不是
George, did you want something? Can I borrow a pen?
George 你是来借东西的吗? 我能借支笔吗?
No.
不能
What's wrong with sleeping with Trish? She's a very handsome woman.
你跟Trish睡了有什么不好? 她长得不错
Yeah, Trisha's great but she's not my type. I like young girls.
是啊 Trish's 是挺好的 但她不是我的菜 我喜欢年轻姑娘
You like young girls?
你喜欢年轻姑娘?
Yeah. Younger gir... Younger women, you know. Like you.
对 年轻一点儿的姑...年轻一点儿的女性 像你
But not like... you. You know...
但是不是说喜欢...你 你知道的...