职介破事儿（2013）

Interesting. Very, very interesting.
有意思 太有意思了
Very interesting.
真有意思
Is that interesting, Karl?
很有意思吗 Karl?
Turns out 59% of people meet their life partner at work.
据说有59%的人在工作中遇到自己的另一半
Oh, that is interesting. Really interesting.
有意思 真有意思
That's...that's over half.
那...那可超过半数呢
Would you ever date anyone at work? Absolutely not.
你跟同事约会过吗? 没有
All right. Well, I suppose you can never say never. I can.
好吧 不过我猜你不会永远说不的 我会
Never again. Been there, done that.
不想重蹈覆辙了 以前有过 以后不会了
Was this bloke at your last place? Who said it was a bloke?
之前被坏小子伤过? 谁说是坏小子?
I might have been having sex adventures with a receptionist called Monique.
可能我曾经和一个叫Monique的前台上过床呢
That's hot.
太劲爆了
Ow! That's hot! That's really - Oh, my... Ow, that burns.
啊! 好烫! 真烫 啊 我的...哎哟 烫伤了
Ow.
哎哟
If I was your age, Karl...
要是我有你年轻 Karl...
Trust me, mate, I am working on it.
相信我 伙计 我在努力呢
No, if I was your age, not if I was you.
我是说在你这个年纪的我 我才不是你
No offence, but you've absolutely no chance with her.
不是我说 你肯定追不到她的
Thanks a lot. Come on, Karl, she's a ten.
多谢你啊 想开点 她可是个10分妹子
I wouldn't give you one... and neither would she.
你连1分都不到... 相信她会同意的
# All day, you're gonna make it work #
# 日复一日 你努力为它付出 #
# No pay, you're gonna make it work #
# 即使没钱 你依然兢兢业业 #
# Someday,we're gonna make this work #
# 总有一天 付出的一切会有回报 #
Now, you probably think this is a little bit bonkers...
你们可能觉得这有点疯狂...
I think it's really lovely. You didn't have to drag it in.
我倒觉得这很有趣 你又不用自己上
We've hired a hot tub for a very good reason.
我们租这个按♥摩♥浴池是有原因的
Natalie, I'll let you explain.
Natalie 你来解释一下
We have got Jamina McNaulty's coming in.
我们接到 Jamina McNaulty要来了
Who? Jamina McNaulty.
谁? Jamina McNaulty
As in Midlands' power couple Jamina and David McNaulty.
就是在米德兰兹郡很有影响力的McNaulty夫妇
She's the CEO of McNaulty Leisure,
她是McNaulty集团的执行总裁
the leading manufacturer of saunas
他们集团是整个西米德兰兹郡
and hot tubs in the entire West Midlands.
桑拿浴池和按♥摩♥浴池的主要厂商
Oh, I can't stand saunas. It's like sitting in a burning shed.
我可受不了桑拿浴 就像坐在烧着的棚屋里似的
Mate of mine services these.
我有个朋友在那里工作
You would not believe the filth people get up to under the bubbles.
你都不敢相信那些脏兮兮的人在泡泡下面干的事
Well, you don't know whose hand's whose.
而且也分不清那是谁的手
Mind you, he gets 50% staff discount.
跟你们说哦 他有五折的员工优♥惠♥
Will we get that? Absolutely we will.
我们有吗? 那当然
Good cos I'm after one of these. The ten-man.
太好了 我正想买♥♥一个呢 那个10分男
Then we'll need to wow her. Yes, we will.
那我们得好好取悦她 没错
And there was pretty stiff competition for this,
而且这次竞争很激烈
but Natalie managed to beat them all off.
不过Natalie把对手打得落花流水
McNaulty Leisure are advertising one job with us,
McNaulty集团让我们帮它招个人
but get this right and there'll be plenty more jobs for our...jobless.
这次做好了以后生意将会源源不断
Shall we get some nibbles in? Good idea.
我们要不要准备点小食? 好主意
And Jamina will be all about power breakfasts and lunch on the go.
Jamina会在早餐会和午餐会之间奔走
We could get some sushi. Yes, that is robust thinking.
我们可以准备点寿司 这想法不错
Karl, go and get some sushi. Mmhm. What kind?
Karl 去买♥♥点寿司 嗯哼 买♥♥哪种?
I don't know erm... just get a selection.
我不知道... 买♥♥个拼盘吧
I've never eaten sushi.
我从不吃寿司
It's like the sort of food people might eat in the future.
感觉那是未来人的食物
I will have some sushi.
我要来点寿司
OK, Jamina.
好的 Jamina
Oh, gosh...
天哪...
Can you see it from there? Yep, perfect.
你那边能看到吗? 看得到 角度刚好
That's great about the 50% discount.
能打五折真是太好了
I'm gonna tell my mum and dad, they could get one for their patio.
我要告诉我爸妈 他们可以买♥♥一个放在露台
Um...we're not getting a discount, I lied.
呃...我们没有折扣 我骗他们的
A little management tip, Natalie, if you dangle an incentive carrot,
这是管理学小窍门 Natalie 如果你挂一根胡萝卜做激励
it helps keep the more... difficult members of staff on side.
就能赢得更多... 反对者的支持
I'm sure you've noticed, Angela can be...
你肯定注意到了 Angela会比较...
Challenging ...a waking nightmare.
难搞 ...像现实中的噩梦
I don't mean to be unprofessional, but that woman is a tyrant.
我不想显得自己不专业 但那女人就是个搅屎棍
Oh, thank God. I thought it was just me she didn't like.
谢天谢地 我还以为她只针对我呢
I'm not going to let her fudge up my chances with Jamina McNaulty.
我不会让她毁掉这次和Jamina McNaulty的合作机会
It's too important.
这一次意义重大
Right, she'll be here soon. How do I look? Fine.
好了 她马上要到了 我看起来怎么样? 很不错
Breath? That is also fine.
有口气吗? 没有
Right, I am ready.
好了 万事俱备
Don't forget to tell her about the new phone line we're having fitted.
别忘了告诉她 我们现在提供新的电♥话♥服务
Yes, the hotline.
没错 热♥线♥
The hot tub hotline.
按♥摩♥浴池热♥线♥
The hot tub hotline!
按♥摩♥浴池热♥线♥!
That is so on-message!
说到点上了!
News just in, deputy manager of Brownall's a bloomin' genius.
最新消息 Brownall的副经理是个妙龄聪明妞
Oh, I love that! Is that a thing?
喔 我喜欢! 不值一提嘛
Jamina, can I say what an honour it is to meet you?
Jamina 能见到你真是倍感荣幸
I've admired you from afar for so long.
我很久很久以前就开始崇拜你了
Not a stalker, are you?
你不是跟踪狂吧?
Oh, my gosh, that is exactly my sense of humour!
天哪 妥妥地戳中我笑点啊!
Now, tell me how I can realise your vision.
请告诉你的要求
Well, erm...Trish, I am looking for a Mandarin-speaking team leader
嗯...Trish 我要在找一个会说普通话的组长
to head up my outbound sales to China.
来领导中国区的销♥售♥人员
China? How exciting...and Oriental.
中国? 真是激动人心啊...东方人哎
Do they like hot tubs over there? It's a very strong market.
他们喜欢按♥摩♥浴池吗? 那是个很有前景的市场
There is a lot of them. Shh. Sorry.
那里人口很多 嘘 对不起
Really need to take this. Sure.
是很重要的电♥话♥ 请便
Yeah...
是我...
What? Er...no.
什么? 呃...不
No, they have invalidated the warrantee.
不 他们把质保证作废了
Well, of course it's going to clog up the filters,
肯定会堵塞滤波器啊
it's a hot tub, not a birthing pool.
那是按♥摩♥浴池 又不是分娩池
Look, I've gotta go. Deal with it, OK?
我要挂了 把事情解决好 就这样
Sushi? Oh, God, no. Hate it.
来点寿司? 天哪 我讨厌寿司
Yeah, it's disgusting. Dunno why I bought it.
是啊 太恶心了 不知道我♥干♥嘛买♥♥这个
Right, so what can you do for me?
好了 你能提供什么服务?
Jamina, this is where I shine.
Jamina 这正是我引以为傲的
We will advertise a position, collate, prioritise
我们会负责招聘启事 然后整理好按优先顺序排位
and then present you with a shortlist of applicants.
接着把申请者的最终候选人名单提供给你
You can do all that?
这些都是你们来做吗?
We can and will and do...do that.
我们有能力 也肯定会把这些做好
And will do that and more.
我们还能做得更多
And if you can find me someone with a six pack
如果你找到的人有六块腹肌
I can grate cheese on and a fabulous arse, all the better.
让我用芝士摩擦在上面摩擦 再长个极品翘臀 就更好了
If only we could put that in the advert! Yeah.
如果我们能把这要求放进招聘启事该多好! 是啊
I think we might get done for sexual harassment.
性骚扰我们就谈到这儿吧
Oh, God, not again!
神啊 没有下次了!
Angela, I'm in a meeting. Post's arrived.
Angela 我在会客呢 有信件
Just wanted to say, I love your hot tubs.
我只想说 爱死你的按♥摩♥浴池了
Very powerful jets.
喷头非常给力
And that's why we're number one in the West Midlands.
那正是我们稳居西米德兰兹郡首位的原因
Actually, er...Trish, now your PA is here,
话说 呃...Trish 既然你的助理来了
maybe we could diarise a time for me to meet the shortlist.
我们能不能约个时间让我见见候选人
My PA... Yep. OK.
我助理... 好啊 没问题
Angela, could you schedule a meeting with Jamina McNaulty, please?
Angela 能帮Jamina McNaulty安排一下吗?
Certainly, Trish. Right, er...
当然 Trish 好的 呃...
tomorrow at 10:00. No, she's not free.
明天10点吧 不行 她没时间
Oh, come on, Angela.
行了 Angela
I'm sure you can reschedule whatever I've got booked.
不管我有什么行程 相信你都能重新安排好的
I am not rearranging your smear.
我没法重新安排你的乱摊子
So...the hot tub hotline, 'ey?
按♥摩♥浴池热♥线♥ 对吗?
Yeah, it's for a job we're advertising selling hot tubs.
是啊 这是我们在招的一个职位 卖♥♥按♥摩♥浴池的
I could do with a career change. Maybe I should apply.
我改行就能去做了 也许我该申请试试
Oh, you need to speak Mandarin.
你得会说普通话
Oh, OK. What does that mean? Please suck my balls.
好吧 什么意思? 请你吸我的蛋蛋
I had a one-night stand with this girl from Beijing.
我跟一个北♥京♥姑娘有过一♥夜♥情♥
Yeah...perhaps you shouldn't apply.
你最好还是别申请了
I'm going to need to access your junction box...
我要把线接进你们这的分线盒
then, maybe later, get under your desk and inspect your socket.
待会可能还要到你桌子下面检查一下你的插座