职介破事儿（2013）

There's no record of that here.
这里没有任何相关记录
I asked a neighbour who works in Argos.
我问过一个在阿哥斯工作的邻居
Neighbours aren't friends. It's within the criteria.
邻居不算朋友 这是符合条件的
Only with documentary evidence.
必须要有书面证明
-Which I must provide on request. -Within 24 hours.
在被要求的情况下提供 24小时之内
This afternoon at three? I look forward to it.
今天下午3点之前? 我等着
I'm so sorry about last night.
昨晚真是对不起
Nice bedroom, by the way.
顺便说一句 卧室还不错
Got some really interesting stuff on your internet history.
在你的上网记录里发现了好玩的东西
Yeah, I can explain about that.
你听我解释
Basically, we use a lot of milk
主要是我们要用很多牛奶
and wanted something to keep it in
所以想找装的容器
so I-I-I did a search for 'massive jugs'.
所以我我我搜了'大水壶'
Karl, I'm joking.
Karl 我开玩笑的
So where were you? I've never actually been stood up before.
你去哪儿了? 我以前可从没被放过鸽子
I didn't know it was you.
我不知道是你
Trish!
Trish!
Trisha Collinwood.
Trisha Collinwood
Trish! All right, mate, what you doing here?
Trish! 好了 伙计 你在这儿干嘛?
I'm trying to get hold of Trish, she's not answering my calls.
我不想失去Trish 她不接我电♥话♥
She sent me a text saying she's going to give me some space
她发短♥信♥给我说会给我点时间
but where's that come from? Pffft... hormones?
但那是从何说起? 唔...荷尔蒙?
Although you are together every night,
虽然你们每晚都在一起
maybe you should see a bit less of her?
可能你得降低见她的频率?
Why would I want to do that for? She's beautiful.
为什么要那样? 她那么美
You're beautiful, Trish! Ooh, all right.
你很美 Trish! 哦 好了
I love you, Trisha!
我爱你 Trisha!
OK, Tom, dial it down.
好了 Tom 冷静
You don't really love her, do you?
你不是真的爱上她了吧?
Oh, my God. You actually do.
天哪 你来真的
All right, er...
好吧 呃...
I'll get her to call you. You can tell her how you feel.
我会让她打给你的 你可以把你的想法告诉她
No, I've got to show her how I feel.
不 我要把我的想法表达给她看
Come to the pub with me and help me figure out how I can get her back.
陪我去酒吧 帮我想想我该怎么挽回她
Ah...
啊...
Yeah, course. Thanks, Karl, you're such a good mate.
好吧 谢谢 Karl 你真好
I'm really not.
我才不好呢
You're actually early. I found a job I want.
你来得真早 我找到想要的工作了
Brilliant! That's great news, Bryony. Where is it?
太棒了! 这是好事儿啊 Bryony 在哪儿?
Booby Bungalow. It's a titty bar in West Brom.
傻瓜屋 是西布朗的一家脱衣舞俱乐部
A titty bar. Yeah. My mate's mum works there.
脱衣舞俱乐部 对啊 我朋友的妈妈在那里工作
She gets, like, 3,000 grand a night.
她一晚上能赚300万美元呢
She's got an actual gold phone.
她有一台纯金的手♥机♥
Do you think that might be a bit degrading?
你不觉得这有点不体面吗?
Chill out, Grandma,
怕什么 奶奶
it's only getting your bangers out.
不过是把你的咪♥咪♥露出来而已
I do that on the beach in Barmouth.
我在巴茅斯的海滩上就干过
I just need to do an audition.
我就差个面试了
Gotta do, like, a routine or something.
只是走个程序而已
Do you really think you can get this job?
你真的觉得能拿下这份工作吗?
Course I can. You've seen my arse.
当然了 你也见过我的屁♥股♥啦
Come with me.
跟我来
What we doing? We're gonna get you that job.
我们要干嘛? 帮你拿下那份工作
Oh, Trish, come quick, a cat's been run over.
Trish 快来 有只猫被撞了
What? In the car park, a cat's been run over.
什么? 在停车场有只猫被撞了
By a car. But I know nothing about cats.
被一辆小车 可是我不懂猫啊
Angela, you like cats, one's been run over.
Angela 你喜欢猫 有一只被撞了
On my way. Er... Janette, there's a cat been run over.
马上去 呃... Janette 有只猫被撞了
I'll get some paper towels. No, hang on, just Trish.
我带点纸巾去 不 等等 Trish去就行了
Paul, there's a cat been run over.
Paul 有只猫被撞了
Right, I've got a mallet in my boot.
好的 我后备箱里有锤子
No, no!
不 不!
# Move #
# 动起来 #
# Don't you get comfortable #
# 你难道不觉得爽吗 #
# Looking so hot, I think #
# 看起来如此火♥辣♥ #
Try being less intimidating.
别那么吓人
What do I do with my hands? Maybe rub them over yourself.
我的手要怎么放? 可以在你自己身上来回抚摸
Bit more sensual, you haven't got eczema.
多点诱惑性 你可没得湿疹
This is stupid, I'm trying to turn on a chair.
这样太蠢了 我居然想让一把椅子兴奋起来
Tell you what, I'll be the customer.
我来做客人
Ah. Phwoar. What's wrong with your face?
啊 噗 你的脸怎么了
I'm trying to look like an aroused man.
我在试着让自己看起来性趣十足
Well don't, you're putting me off.
用不着 你在敷衍我
Just say stuff a bloke in a strip club'd say.
说点脱衣舞俱乐部的家伙们会说的话
Aaah... nice breasts.
啊...你的胸真美
Er... put your bum near my face.
呃...让你的屁♥股♥离我的脸近点
Give me some money, then.
那得给钱
Here you go.
给
Now grind me, you randy cow.
来折磨我吧 你这头好色的母牛
It's going to cost youa lot more than that.
那得付更多的钱
Owning a cat near a main road should be a crime.
在主干道附近养猫就是犯罪
What's this?
这是什么?
Tom? Miaow.
Tom? 喵
Oh, give me strength.
真受不了
He's all right. He just wants someone to love him.
他没什么大碍 只是需要有人爱他
Tom, what are you doing? Patricia Collinwood,
Tom 你在干嘛? Patricia Collinwood
I'm your little 'Tom-Cat'
我是你的小'Tom猫'
and I don't care how old you are.
我不在乎你几岁
14 years older makes you 14 years more beautiful.
多活的14年为你增加了14年的美丽
Ahh.
哦
Tom... No.
Tom... 不
I love you, Trish-upon-a-star.
我爱你 来自星星的Trish
Please come back.
回来吧
You have taken me on a beautiful, deeply sexual journey.
你带我经历了一场美丽又性感的旅程
We did things that were still illegal when I was at polytechnic.
我还在理工学院的时候我们还一起干过违法的事
And for that, I thank you. But it's over.
为此我要谢谢你 但是我们结束了
I said I don't mind about the age gap.
我说过我不介意年龄的差距
It's not about the age gap.
不是因为年龄的问题
The same thing happened to me and my ex-husband.
我和我前夫也遇到过同样的情形
I went from being his lover to his mother.
我从他的爱人变成他的母亲
Yes, right now I'm still your lover but I am becoming more
没错 现在我还是你的爱人 但很快我的角色
like your mother than your lover. I'm your mother-lover.
会更像母亲 变成你的母亲爱人
And I'm not going down that road again.
我不想再重蹈覆辙了
Sure I can't get you a drink? Cup of tea?
确定不要来杯喝的吗? 喝茶?
Saucer of milk?
还是来一盘牛奶?
Oh, you've still got ketchup on your paw. That'll stain.
你爪子上还有番茄酱呢 会弄脏的
The letter you requested.
你要的证明
Is this slobber?
这是口水吗?
I volunteer in a dog's home. In that case...
我在狗类收♥容♥所♥做志愿者 那样的话...
.. I will be stopping your benefits after all.
...我还是要取消你的福利
It's volunteer work, thus I don't get paid.
志愿者也是工作 虽然没有收入
Thus you're not available for work.
所以你没法找工作
I would cease my charitable work should I gain employment.
要是找到工作我会停掉志愿者服务的
And until then, you're working full-time in a dog's home
在那之前 你就在狗类收♥容♥所♥做全职吧
and not looking for employment at least 35 hours a week
根据你签署的受法律约束的申请人承诺书
as per the legally binding Claimant Commitment you signed.
你没法找那种每周至少在职35小时的工作
Don't question me again. This is what I do.
别再质疑我了 我已经决定了
You do realise I'll appeal.
你知道我会上诉吧
I'd be disappointed if you didn't.
要是你不上诉 我会失望的
I can't go any higher.
我抬不高了
Little Lord Jesus, what on earth are you doing
天哪 你干嘛把你的脚
with your tuppence in Natalie's face?
放在Natalie的脸上?
Nothing. She's teaching me how to lap dance.
没什么 她在教我怎么跳大腿舞
For a job, she's got an audition.
为了工作 她要去面试
I'm inspiring the horse. Don't call me a horse.
我正在鼓励马儿 别叫我马
We can't promote jobs in the sex industry, Natalie.
我们不能推荐色情产业的工作 Natalie
I know. I'm sorry, I got carried away with the whole Angela sticker chart thing.
我知道 对不起 我被Angela表格上的贴纸冲昏了头
I just wanted to get a smiley face.
我就想要个笑脸
When's the audition?
什么时候面试?
Tonight. But my sexy dancing's crap.
今晚 但是我的热舞太烂了