职介破事儿（2013）

I've got some cable work of my own to do. Excuse me.
我还有电工活没干完呢 先走了
What have you done?
你到底干嘛了?
I was just trying to disconnect the hot tub hotline.
我就想把按♥摩♥浴池热♥线♥切断
Turns out it's not as easy as it looks.
现在看来没那么简单
Well, you've blown the DN cable. I know that now.
是你弄断了DN的电缆哦 我知道啦
I'm going to have to get that phone engineer back in.
我得去把那个电♥话♥修理工叫回来了
Balls.
Next.
下一位
Background in sales, that's brilliant.
以前做销♥售♥的 很好
How are you with languages? I speak a bit of schoolboy French.
你在语言方面怎么样? 我会一点基础法语
How about schoolboy Chinese? No.
中文呢? 不会
Think you could pick it up?
愿意学吗?
Ideal for parties. Relax with your partner,
最好是派对 跟伙伴们一起放松
invite your friends and neighbours over for fun times.
邀请朋友和邻居过来一起快活
You are really very good at this. Thanks, I used to be in sales.
你在这方面的确很擅长 谢谢 我做过销♥售♥
Brilliant. One other thing, you will need to learn a little bit of Mandarin. -Mandarin?
很好 对了 你需要学一点普通话 -普通话?
No, no, I will not work with the Chinese.
不行不行 我不跟中国人共事
I'm not a racist, but... Thanks for your time.
我不是种族歧视 就是... 谢谢你来面试
I'm guessing you don't know any Chinese. I do...I know loads.
我猜你不会中文吧 我认得很多
Really? Yeah. There's The House Of Mr Ling,
真的? 是啊 像林先生家
Chung Wah's, Lucky Moon...
春华家 幸运的月亮...
No, I meant do you speak any Chinese?
不 我是说你会不会说中文?
I don't need to, it's all numbered.
用不着 都有门牌号♥
Apart from Chung Wah's cos that's a buffet.
除了春华家 因为他家是个小卖♥♥部
Hello, beautiful.
美女你好啊
I'm not gonna suck your balls.
我不会吸你蛋蛋的
Oh, actually... You are gonna suck my balls?
对了... 你又想吸了?
No. You know you said you were looking for a change of career,
才怪 你说过想找机会改行
why don't you interview for the hot tub job?
干嘛不来试试按♥摩♥浴池公♥司♥的职位呢?
What's in it for me? What do you want?
这个职位提供什么? 你想要什么?
I just told you in Chinese.
我用中文说过了啊
You'd have to buy me a drink first. Won't your boyfriend mind?
那你得先请我喝东西 你男朋友不介意吗?
My boyfriend? Karl.
我男朋友? Karl
Don't worry, I know it's supposed to be a secret.
别担心 我不会说出去的
Ooh! It's gorgeous! Suits you.
哇! 好漂亮! 很适合你
Mind you, I like to keep my hands free, so I prefer a strap-on.
我喜欢解放我的双手 所以我用挎包
That's a lovely image.
想想都觉得可爱
Morning. Angela, hi, erm...
早啊 Angela 你好 呃...
..would you be my PA again, please? No.
你能不能再做一次我的助理? 不行
All right, fine. You're angry because I wasn't entirely honest.
好了好了 你生气是因为我没有以实相告
You lied. Let's not shillyshally,
你撒谎了 别磨磨蹭蹭了
what's it gonna take? A 50% discount on a hot tub.
你想要什么? 五折买♥♥个按♥摩♥浴池
Yes, but we both know that's not going to happen.
但我们都清楚那是不可能的
You could pay half.
另一半钱可以由你来付
I will contribute 10% towards the cost of your hot tub.
你买♥♥按♥摩♥浴池我出10%
50%. 20%. 50%.
50% 20% 50%
30%. 50%. Angela, we're bartering,
30% 50% 安吉拉 我们在谈价钱
you have to meet me half way. I'm not meeting you anywhere.
大家都各退一步 我不会妥协的
Fine, 50%. I'll pay 50% of your hot tub.
好 就50% 你的按♥摩♥浴池我出一半
I hope you have many relaxing hours in it. Careful not to drown.
希望你在里面玩得开心 别淹死在里面
Don't worry, I won't be alone.
别担心 我又不是一个人
Buying a McNaulty hot tub is a lifestyle choice.
选择McNaulty按♥摩♥浴池就是选择一种生活方式
This isn't just leisure, this is all-weather leisure.
这不仅仅是种放松 而是适合各种天气的放松
As they say in China...QING NI XI WO DE DANDAN
正如中国人所说... "请你吸我的蛋蛋"
Which means 'this hot tub will bring you happy fortune.'
意思是'按♥摩♥浴池能带来好运'
Oh, my God, I want one!
天哪 我要买♥♥!
And I'm not talking about the hot tub.
我说的可不是按♥摩♥浴池
Where did you find him? He's perfect.
你从哪儿找来的? 太完美了
All part of the service. Congratulations.
这也是服务的一部分 恭喜你
The job is yours. You are gonna make a lot of money. Fine by me!
这份工作归你了 你会赚大钱的 我没问题的
I think this calls for a bit of a celebration.
我们最好庆祝一下
Angela, frothy coffees. Bollocks to the coffee,
Angela 泡沫咖啡 谁说要咖啡了
I want some fizz with my bubbles.
我想在泡泡里来点气泡酒
Really? It's not yet noon.
是吗? 还没到中午呢
Come on, Trish, let's have a bit of fun.
得了吧 Trish 我们来快活一下
What am I thinking? I'm normally blottoed by lunchtime!
我在想什么啊 我经常在午饭时候喝到大醉呢!
Let's celebrate the start of a beautiful new relationship.
让我们庆祝一段全新的美好合作即将展开
Angela, champagne.
Angela 上香槟
Very well. Actually, Andy,
好的 事实上 Andy
do you think you could offer us the full wet test? Wet test?
你能不能参加我们的湿身测试? 湿身测试?
Oh, yeah. I want the complete, immersive brand experience.
是啊 我想要那种完全沉浸其中的品牌体验
You know, Andy, now that you are part of our company,
你也知道 Andy 既然你已经是公♥司♥的一分子了
you really must come round to one of my little parties.
你必须参加我的一个小型派对
Trish has been, haven't you? Yes.
Trish来参加过 对吧? 没错
Loved it.
爱死它了
You OK, Andy? Yeah...fine.
你可以吧 Andy? 没问题
I really love your tattoos, Andy.
我好喜欢你的纹身 Andy
Angela, I think we should be getting out and back to work.
Angela 我觉得我们该回去工作了
We don't want to get all crinkly!
我们可不想浑身起皱!
She's not much fun as a boss, is she?
她这个老板可真没意思 对吧?
Actually, she's giving me half the money towards my Big Bubbler.
事实上 她愿意为我的大号♥喷头浴池付一半的钱
Oh, well, I take it all back.
好啊 正好让我带回去
They're over eight grand. How much?
每个八千多块 多少?
You know, Andy, with a body like that,
你要知道 安迪 凭你的身材
you are gonna sell a lot of hot tubs.
可以卖♥♥出不少按♥摩♥浴池呢
Sorry, Jamina, but I think your hand might accidentally be on my penis.
对不起 Jamina 你的手好像不小心放在我丁丁上了
Me and my husband are very...open-minded.
我和我老公很...开放的
Right, that's it. I'm sorry, I can't do this.
够了 对不起 我受够了
This is not my world. People need to be singed on
我跟你不是一路的 让别人如坐针毡
and you are groping a man in a sexual water feature.
你却在暧昧的水里摸汉子
Oh, come on, Trish. This is how business works.
得了吧 Trish 做生意就是这样的
Nearly all of my deals have been done in a hot tub
我的订单差不多都是在按♥摩♥浴池里
with a glass of bubbly.
边喝气泡酒边签的
Well, not in my job centre.
在我的职介所可不是这样
I thought you and I were friends, Trish.
我还以为你和我是朋友呢 Trish
You and Tom are coming cycling this weekend.
你和Tom这周末还要来骑车呢
No, you'll probably lure us to some remote sex den
不了 说不定你会把我们骗到某个偏僻的小屋
and molest us with a bicycle pump.
用打气筒调戏我们
Turn the bubbles off, we are getting out.
把电源关了 我们要出去了
That woman treated me like a piece of meat.
那女人简直把我当鲜肉
You owe me. Come on, give me your number.
你欠我个人情 来吧 把号♥码给我
No! My boyfriend's over there.
不行! 我男朋友在那儿呢
You know she said she'd cheat on you? Hmm.
你知不知道刚刚她说她背叛你了? 嗯
When I said she was my girlfriend, I meant -
我说她是我女朋友的意思是
Lover, partner...better half.
恋人 伴侣...另一半
You complete me.
你让我变得完整了
I give up.
我认输
I probably need to explain.
我得解释一下
You know we can't date people from work. Yeah.
你应该知道同事之间是不能恋爱的 是啊
No, I didn't. So I'm sorry...
不 我没有 所以很抱歉...
..we're gonna have to split up.
我们得分手了
Look, the reason I said that me and you were a couple -
听着 我说我和你是一对儿的原因是
Don't make this any worse than it has to be.
别把越描越黑了
I'm just gonna go home, watch The Notebook in my PJs and cry into a tub of Nutella.
我要回去看《恋恋笔记本》 然后在巧克力酱里哭死过去
Oh, well, don't cry...
别哭啊...
You're gonna watch The Notebook? I love Ryan Gosling.
你要看《恋恋笔记本》? 我喜欢瑞恩·高斯林
I shouldn't really. Champagne gives me terrible wind!
真的不行 我喝了香槟会有口气的!
Don't worry, Janette, let rip!
别担心 Janette 我们不醉不归!
Doesn't matter with all these bubbles.
有这么多泡泡就别管那么多了