职介破事儿（2013）

Culottes, nice.
裙裤真漂亮
Skirt or trousers? Fashion's little mystery.
裙还是裤子? 时尚真让人捉摸不透
Needs must, Natalie, I had a...
那是因为 Natalie 今天早上...
private hair wax this morning.
我给私处上蜡了
Gone commando. Bit sensitive, is it?
没穿内♥裤♥ 有点敏感 是吧?
Brother beyond, she was thorough.
才不是呢 那儿可周密了
It was less intrusive having my coil fitted.
让小卷毛适应了就好多了
I had no choice. I found a grey one.
没办法啊 我发现有一根变灰了
Can't let Tom see that, he thinks I'm 32.
不能让Tom看到 他以为我才32
That's hilarious! Why does he think that?
太搞笑了! 他怎么会这么觉得?
Because I told him.
是我告诉他的
It's perfectly plausible. Mmhm.
的确很可信啊 嗯哼
That is one good thing about being single, you don't have to mow your lady lawn quite as often.
单身有个好处 不用经常刮毛
Why haven't you got a boyfriend, Natalie?
你为什么还没男朋友 Natalie?
I mean, it's absurd. Have you got baggage?
我就是觉得挺奇怪的 你有负担?
No! I just never meet anyone I like.
没有! 我只是没遇到喜欢的
Let me set you up with one of Tom's friends.
我介绍个Tom的朋友给你吧
I'm sure he'll be able to find someone to go out with you.
他肯定能找到一个适合你的
No, Trish.
不用了 Trish
I'm not good at blind dates, he probably won't be my type.
我对相亲不太感冒 对方不一定是我的菜
It's done. OK, great.
搞定 那好吧
Erm... suppose I might have to get the shears out after all.
呃...我猜我得剪剪毛吧
Shears?
剪毛?
Oh, got you. Pubes.
噢 明白了 阴毛
Pubic hair. What are we like?
阴毛 我们这样真的好嘛?
Ooh, still a bit tacky.
有点儿低俗了
# Another day, you're gonna make it work #
# 日复一日 你努力付出 #
# Another day, you're gonna make it work #
# 日复一日 你努力付出 #
# Someday, you're gonna make this work #
# 总有一天 你的付出会有回报 #
Heavy night?
晚上很累吧?
Tom and Trish make the loudest love I have ever heard.
Tom和Trish的叫♥床♥声是我听过最响的
I haven't slept for five nights.
我5个晚上都没睡好
In we go. Morning! Right, headlines.
到了 早上好! 首先
We are still not getting enough claimants off our books, so -
我们登记簿上的申请人还是太多 所以
We need to find reasons to stop their benefits.
我们得想办法取消他们的福利
Or get them a job.
或者帮他们找份工作
Or stop their benefits.
取消他们的福利
Or get them a job.
帮他们找份工作
Stop benefits. Get job.
取消福利 找工作
Stop. Job.
取消 工作
You've got your way, I've got mine.
你有你的办法 我有我的
Natalie's right, Angela.
Natalie说得对 Angela
Think of jobseekers as being like horses, and you are their jockeys.
把找工作的人当成马 而你就是他们的伯乐
Natalie, could you be a jobseeker horse?
Natalie 你能扮找工作的马吗?
You want me to be an unemployed horse?
你想我扮成失业的马?
If you wouldn't mind. OK.
如果你不介意的话 好的
Now, sometimes the horses need a bit of encouragement -
有时候马驹们需要一点鼓励
just do a little gallop - to jump the fence to employment.
跑两步 越过障碍得到录用
What if the horse doesn't want to jump the fence?
要是马儿不想越过障碍呢?
Then you, the jockey, need to give the horse an incentive.
那你这个伯乐就要给马一点鼓励
You mean whip them?
你是说抽他们?
No! Well, yes, metaphorically.
不是! 好吧 可以这么比喻
But, whip them in a way that makes them feel empowered.
不过抽他们会让他们觉得又有了动力
I believe in you.
我相信你
Some horses lie about the amount of oats they are entitled to.
有些马♥会♥瞒♥报♥他们得到的燕麦数量
Then you need to step up and deal with them as well, George.
那你多走一步 想法对付他们 George
Everyone's good at something. You can stop trotting now.
每个人都有长处 你可以停了
We just have to find out what it is. Amen to that, Natalie.
我们得找到症结 说得没错 Natalie
All the horses in our stable need to be inspired.
我们马厩里的马 都需要鼓励
Or shot.
或者毙掉
Oioi! All right, dickhead.
喂喂! 好啦 笨蛋
Eight o'clock tonight.
今晚8点
Tom says he knows exactly who to invite.
Tom说他知道该邀请谁
I think it's his hunky friend Marcus.
大概是他的匈牙利朋友Marcus
He's got lovely buttocks.
他的臀部很赞
Let's hope he brings them with him.
希望他到时候带上它们
And a good sense of humour! How are you still single?
你很幽默啊! 那怎么还单着?
Your benefits are being cut because you were late for your appointment.
你的福利被取消了 因为你迟到了
I went to the toilet.
我去厕所了
Should've gone before you left the house. What a joke.
你应该在出发前去的 开什么玩笑
Angela? Mmhm.
Angela? 嗯哼
Are you recording every person you get off benefits with a smiley face?
你是用用笑脸记下每个被取消福利的人吗?
Yeah. Do you want me to add your name so we can keep score?
是啊 要不要我把你的名字也加上以保持领先?
Angela, I don't think that's appropriate.
Angela 这不合适吧
Worried you wouldn't get any stickers?
担心你贴不了笑脸?
I'd get job stickers for getting people jobs.
我可以用工作贴记下找到工作的人
Would you now?
你现在有吗?
Yeah, I could get more people jobs than you could get off benefits.
当然 我帮忙找到工作的人肯定比你取消福利的人要多
Are you challenging me? No, she isn't.
你在挑战我吗? 不 她没有
Yeah, I am. Put my name on the chart.
没错 把我的名字加在表上
Then bring it. Consider it bring brought brung.
好啊 想想它从现在时 到过去时 再到完成时
Brung.
完成时
George. All right.
George 好啊
Big case? Trish wants people off benefits,
大单? Trish想取消福利
this guy's a low-hanging fruit. I'm going to nail this mother...
这家伙很容易得手 我要在观夜气球上...
.. on a night obbo.
...盯住这家伙
Night-vision goggles.
夜视镜
Can I... Can I touch them?
我能...我能碰吗?
Oh, shit.
靠
It's like Call Of Duty.
好有《使命召唤》的感觉
Military grade. Do they make the noise?
军事级的 有声音吗?
Don't switch them Argh!
别换 啊!
Oh, that's bright. It's got to be dark.
好亮 会变暗的
Argh!
啊!
Oh, no. Tom wants me to go on a blind date with one of Trish's mates.
不 Tom想让我跟Trish的朋友相亲
Dinner at the flat tonight.
今晚在公♥寓♥共进晚餐
Lucky you, bag yourself a cougar.
运气真好 像美洲豹一样去捕猎吧
Not a chance. All of Trish's mates
不可能 Trish的朋友
are gonna be 40-something emotional train wrecks called Susan.
都是叫Susan的40来岁的更年期老女人
I met Tanya on a blind date. Literally.
严格来说我是相亲的时候认识Tanya的
She temporarily lost her vision after a netballing accident,
她打球的时候发生意外 短暂失明了
but look at us now.
不过瞧瞧我们现在
Karl, are you listening?
Karl 你在听吗?
Yeah.
在啊
Come on, Graham, I'm really trying to get you a job.
加油 Graham 我在努力帮你找工作呢
Is there anything that you're proud of?
你有什么值得骄傲的地方吗?
I did jump in a pool in my pyjamas.
我曾经穿着睡衣跳进池塘
For your lifesaving badge? No. To save me own life.
为了拿救生徽章? 不是 为了自救
I was being chased by a gang of bees.
当时我被一群蜜蜂盯上了
Think, Graham, think. What do you enjoy doing?
再想想 Graham 再想想 你喜欢干嘛?
What do you look forward to doing every day?
你每天最想做什么?
Coming here.
到这儿来
OK. Hope he's worth the wait.
好了 但愿他值得等待
Yeah, he is. I might as well tell you.
他值得的 我正想跟你们说
No, shush, don't tell us. I want it to be a surprise.
别 嘘 别告诉我们 这是个惊喜
This is so cool.
太酷了
Thanks for letting me come. It's a proper stakeout.
多谢能让我来 这可是监视啊
We should be smoking or something.
我们该来根烟什么的
Are you not going to get in trouble, missing your blind date? Don't care.
你不去相亲真的没关系吗? 别担心
I'll send a text later, make an excuse.
待会儿我会发短♥信♥找个借口的
Why are you taking your shoes off?
你干嘛把鞋脱了?
Compression socks. We could be here for hours,
把袜子脱掉 我们会在这儿待很久
it's essentially a long-haul flight.
某种程度上就是坐长途航♥班♥
We'll have to start without him, then. It's getting cold.
我们不等他了 开始吧 菜要冷了
This one's yours, Tom-cat.
这是你的 Tom猫
He doesn't eat cheese in the evening. I get nightmares.
他晚上不吃奶酪 会做噩梦
Oh, they're terrible, aren't they, Tom?
可吓人了 是吧Tom?
We call them the nadgers. Yeah, the nadgers.
蛋蛋的忧伤 对 蛋蛋的忧伤
I have to make him a hot chocolate and stroke his hair to calm him down.
我得给他泡热可可 摸着他的头发让他平静下来
And if that doesn't work,
如果还是没用的话