IT狂人（2006）

IT狂人 第四季 第五集
坏小子
快坐好 你们快点坐好
Come on, settle. The sooner you're settled,
这样才能早点回家吃饭
the sooner this is over with.
呐 你们今天要认识几个
Thank you. Now, you're going to meet
在人生中做出错误选择的人
some men today who've taken a wrong turn in their lives
他们会讲述自己的故事
and they're going to tell you their stories and hopefully
希望你们可以从中得到启发
make you think a little bit about the roads you're going down.
这可不是什么搞笑的事
It's not going to be any kind of fun,
所以你们都给我严肃点
so you can wipe those smiles off your faces.
很好 有请第一位上台
Right, let's meet our first speaker.
有乜好睇
What the flip are you looking at?
你哋覺得好笑咩?
You think this is funny?
你哋以為喺黎睇笑話嘅咩
You think this is some kind of mother flipping joke?
你媽你睇乜都當喺睇笑話喺嘛
Mother flippers think everything's a mother flipping joke.
僆仔 話你哋知 呢個唔喺笑話
Well, let me tell you, the jokey ain't no jokey, sucker.
睇我 你哋睇到乜嘢
Look at me and what do you see?
一個犯咗錯嘎大哥 犯咗一個錯啫
Just a bad ass brother who made a mistake. One mistake.
搞到依家我每日都要睺住你哋
And now I'm staring at you gimps every flippin' day!
我為乜啊
So what's my story?
大佬我點解沦落到咁嘎地步
How did a brother get here?
我來话你知啦
Well, I'll tell you.
看什么看
你们觉得这很搞笑吗
你们以为是来看笑话的吗
你♥他♥妈♥看什么都像在看笑话是吧
小样 告诉你们 这根本不是笑话
看着我 你们看到了什么
一位犯了错的大哥 只犯了一个错而已
结果哥每天都得来盯着你们
那么我的故事到底是什么
哥哥我到底是怎么沦落到这的
我来告诉你们
故事要从我去七楼修打印机开始说起
It all started when I went to fix a printer on floor seven.
据我回忆 那天应该是星期二
As I recall, it was a Tuesday.
现在就快多了
It's a lot faster now,
这正是奔腾处理器的优势之一
it's one of the advantages of the Pentium processor.
是啊
Yeah...
我喜欢你的眼镜
I like your glasses.
可惜这眼镜我不卖♥♥
I'm afraid they're not for sale.
你就笑吧 我真的不卖♥♥
Laugh all you want, they're not for sale.
你真有意思
You're funny.
尼基 尼基
Nikki, Nikki, Nikki!
你在跟马云哥聊啥呢
What are you talking to Clive Sinclair for?
闭嘴 洛基
Shut up, Rodge.
真搞笑 我明白了
Good one. Yup. I get it.
你很明显没抓住笑点 哥们儿
You obviously don't, mate.
走吧 回你的地下室去
Come on, back in your box.
你这领带不错
Nice tie, by the way!
谢谢
Thank you.
罗伊 你能过来一趟吗
Roy, can you come here, please?
稍等一下 珍 我在做电♥话♥支持呢
Just hold on a second, Jen. I'm giving phone support.
好的 怎么样了
Okay, so how did that go?
没错 但那是一个非常重要的步骤
Well, yeah, but that's an important part of the process.
如果你不这么做的话
Yes, if you don't complete that part,
那是没办法进行下一个步骤的
there's no way you're going to be able to do the next bit.
好的 那现在 重新开机吧你
Okay, so now... Turn it back on again!
什么人呐
People!
那简直太粗鲁了 你是怎么回事
That is rude! What is that?
珍 我每天都要重复
Oh, Jen, I have to say,
"你重启过没有"这句话1000多次
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" 1,000 times a day.
就他妈跟念毛主席语录一样
It's like a bloody catchphrase.
要不是你和莫斯在这 这就是我每天唯一说的话
If it wasn't for you and Moss it would be the only thing I say.
这算什么
It doesn't matter.
别把对工作的不满撒在用户身上
Don't take your bad career decisions out on the users.
这话我今天是不会再说了
I'm not saying it again today.
让他们自己觉悟去吧
They can just figure it out for themselves.
你是不可能一句也不说的
You'll never go a whole day without saying it.
你觉得这不可能?
You don't think I can?
做梦吧你
No way.
我跟你赌1000块
I bet you 1,000 pounds I can.
你是钱多得慌吧 赌1000块这么多
That's just posturing. 1,000 pounds.
好吧 那就100块赌我今天一句都不说
All right. Okay. 100 pounds says I don't say it again today.
这下差不多吧
How's that for posturing?
好吧 就这么定了 100块
All right, you're on. 100 quid.
没问题
All right.
你能进来一下吗
Can you come here for a sec, please?
干嘛
Why?
我想让你看点东西
I want you to take a look at something.
不能电♥话♥里说吗
Can't I do it on the phone?
你进来一下会死吗 不过才20英尺的距离
Just come in! It's like 20 feet!
你没事吧 莫斯
You all right, Moss?
不妨告诉你 罗伊
I don't mind telling you, Roy,
有些时候楼上那群人
that sometimes the people
嘲笑我到了忍♥无可忍♥的地步
upstairs cheese me off to such an extent
如果我是那种脏话连篇的人
that if I were the type to use bad language,
我一定会一遍遍恶毒的咒骂他们
I'd be employing it bitterly and repeatedly!
莫斯 这可不是你的风格
Whoa. Moss, that's not like you.
很抱歉我提到了脏话
Well, I'm sorry for mentioning bad language.
说几句脏话吧莫斯 会让你心情好点
No, use bad language, Moss, please. It'll make you feel better.
他妈的
Ploppers!
有人告诉我 我需要在电脑上装个浏览器
Someone told me I need a browser on my computer.
能帮我装一个吗
Could you install one please?
你电脑上竟然没有浏览器?
You don't have a browser on your computer...?
这是什么声音 是你电脑里传出来的吗
What is that sound? Is that coming from your laptop?
不应该这样 这尼玛都是些什么
It's not supposed to sound... What the...?! What's all that crap?
你看这玩意 我21世纪以来就没见过这玩意
Look at all this stuff! I haven't seen that one since the '90s!
珍 我得把它弄好
Jen, I have to fix this.
不 你别动 我可喜欢这玩意了
No, no, leave it! I have it how I like it!
你竟然喜欢这玩意
How you like it?!
不 珍 这是病毒
No, no, no, Jen, it's infected!
如果这是个人的话 我就得朝他脸上开枪了
If this was a human being, I'd shoot it in the face!
我只是想装个浏览器而已
I just want you to install a browser.
这不就是浏览器吗
That's the browser there!
你看 这就是浏览器 IE就是浏览器
Look at it... that's the browser. Internet Explorer is a browser!
就在那个女人头像后面
Behind the picture of the lady.
这女人不应该待在那
The lady's not supposed to be there.
她只是偶尔待在那而已 不过那个E标志
She's only there sometimes. But what about that, the E...
那可是互联网的按钮啊 罗伊
But that's the button for the internet, Roy. I don't...
互联网的按钮? 我的姑奶奶
The button for the internet?! Jesus Christ!
闭嘴 我可不是什么愚蠢的技术宅
Oh, shut up! I'm not a stupid geeky geek.
珍 地球人都知道
Jen, you don't need to be a geek
需要用浏览器来上网
to know that you need a browser to access the internet!
才不是呢 因为一旦你了解了那种东西
Yes, you do, because as soon as you know something like that,
你就会神不知鬼不觉的失去一些重要东西
it pushes out something important and before you know it,
然后你就莫名其妙的画起《指环王》中的小人了
you're painting little figurines from Lord of The Rings.
那就随便你了 珍 我不在乎
You know what, Jen? Do whatever you want. I don't care.
你想成天带着被诅咒的电脑
You want to walk around with a laptop from The Exorcist,
没问题 那跟我无关
that's fine. It's not my problem.
我们的时间很宝贵的
Our time is too valuable!
走吧莫斯 都快一点了
Come on, Moss, let's go. It's nearly one.
别忘了
Oh, don't forget.
他们要在午餐的时候给本·建德森举♥行♥派对
They're giving a party for Ben Genderson at lunch.
本·建德森 他是要多走运啊
Ben Genderson? How nice for him.
他才来这多久 一周? 什么时候给我们开派对啊
He's been here, what? A week? When's our party?
我以为你讨厌派对
I thought you hated parties.
我喜欢派对 我讨厌的是气球
I like parties. It's balloons I don't like.
没错
Right.
你不喜欢气球?
You don't like balloons?
别跟我提气球
Oh, don't talk to me about balloons.
为什么
Why?
气球可是会爆♥炸♥的 珍
Balloons explode, Jen.
它们会在莫名其妙的情况下突然爆♥炸♥
They explode suddenly and unexpectedly.
它们会给我带来小小的恐慌
They are filled with the capacity to give me a little fright
这是我完全不能忍♥受的
and I find that unbearable.
你想去哪吃午饭
Where do you want to go for lunch?
今天天气好 咱们去公园吧