IT狂人（2006）

Oh, for fuuu...!
更疼了 疼死了
That's worse! That's way worse.
疼死了是吧
It's terrible, isn't it?
你说这样做会好受点
You told me that would make it better!
不 我的后背就是这样受伤的
No, no, no! That's how I originally injured my back.
怎么样
You all right?
已经好多了
Yeah, feels so much better already!
因为这门手艺 我还进过伞兵部队
So that's why I ended up joining the parachute regiment.
伞兵
Ah, yeah, the Paras.
我原来也想当伞兵
That's the one I would have joined.
可是 我他妈恐高
But you know, fear of heights...
你当过兵吗
Were you in the army?
没有
No.
现在开始按♥摩♥大腿
Right, I have to do a bit of work on your thighs.
好 听你的
Hey, you do what you need to do.
昨晚那场坑爹的比赛看了没
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
真不知道曼奇尼是怎么想的
What was Mancini thinking, eh?
阿森纳就这德行 在场上形同梦游
The thing about Arsenal is, they always try and walk it in.
阿森纳
Arsenal?
甭管是什么了
Whoever we're talking about.
快完了
Nearly done.
太感谢了 我感觉好多了
Oh, thanks again, man, this really does feel so much better.
全部做完了
There we are. All finished.
我爱他 我爱死他
* I love him I love him, I love him so. *
我滴小心肝
Goodness me!
刚才发生了什么
What-what-what would you term what just happened there?
诺曼说我的声音美极了
Norman says my voice is extraordinary.
对极了
He's right.
就是他了没错
This is it, you know.
他就是我的命中注定
This is the guy. This is the big one.
简直找不出任何缺点
There's nothing about him I don't like.
就连他睡觉时的呼噜声
When he's asleep, he makes this sound...
都十分可爱轻柔
a lovely, little, gentle purr.
这一唱就停不下来了呢
Oh, this is a long song.
过去这几天简直难以言表
You know, the last few days has been indescribable.
好极了
Good.
你好 罗伊 -你好 罗伊
Hi, Roy! - Hi, Roy.
啥
What?
你没事吧
You okay?
啥
What?
你没事吧
Are you all right?
你背还疼 没去做按♥摩♥吗
Is your back still hurting? Didn't you go to see the masseuse?
去了
Yes, I did.
好受点了吗
Did it help?
没有
No.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
挺好的
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fine.
你的表情怎么跟
It's just you've got the same face
你吃蔬菜的时候一样
you have when you eat vegetables.
出了点事儿
Okay. Something happened.
出事了?
Something happened?
我做按♥摩♥的时候出了点事儿
Yes. When I was getting the massage, the masseuse did something.
开始
Go on.
我可以告诉你
Okay, I'm going to tell you,
但你不许笑我
but have to promise not to laugh at me,
因为这整件事让我非常震惊
because this whole thing has left me very shaken.
我保证不笑 -好
Okay. I promise I will not laugh. - Okay.
他亲了我屁♥股♥一口
He kissed me on the arse.
不好意思罗伊 我是不是听错了
Sorry, I may have misheard you there, Roy.
你刚才说什么
What did you just say?
我正在享受按♥摩♥
I was enjoying the massage,
一切都进行的很顺利
everything had gone very, very well,
可最后 他突然俯下身
but then at the end he just leaned down,
亲了我屁♥股♥一大口
and he gave me a big kiss on the arse.
你以为我会笑话你吗
And you thought I'd find that funny?!
是啊 我是这么觉得的
Well, yeah, I suppose I did.
这到底有什么可笑的
On what planet would that be funny?
他亲你的具体♥位♥置在哪
Where abouts on the arse did he kiss you?
我不清楚 就在中间那条线
I don't know, just to the left of the...
的左边一点点
the line that goes down the middle.
股沟
The cleftal horizon.
这是学名吗
Is that what it's called?
是 不说这个 你继续
Yes, it is, but never mind that, what happened next?
我穿好衣服就走了
Well, then I just got dressed and I left.
你告诉珍了吗
Okay. Have you told Jen this?
没有 我害怕她会笑话我
No, I was really afraid she'd laugh at me.
你以为珍是禽兽吗
Do you think Jen's a monster?!
她不会笑的 那按♥摩♥师太过分了
She wouldn't laugh - This man crossed the line!
他可是专业医务人员 罗伊 看着我
He is a member of the medical profession. Roy, look at me.
看着我
Look... at... me!
这一点也不好笑
There is nothing funny about this.
我也认为他很过分 我也不觉得好笑
I think he crossed the line. I don't think it's funny.
我本来已经完全放松了
I mean, I was so relaxed,
结果那一下又让我全身紧绷了起来
and then that just tensed me right up again.
我的手就这样僵了一个小时
My hands were like that for an hour.
都没法掏钱付他
I couldn't get them in to my pockets to pay him.
你还付钱了
You paid him?!
罗伊 我说你应该起诉他
Roy, I've got to tell you, I think you've got grounds to sue.
真的吗
Really?
发生了什么
What is that?!
是珍
That's Jen.
她现在可喜欢唱歌♥了
That's what she does now.
你应该告诉她
You should tell her. You should tell her.
告诉我什么
What?
听好了
Listen to this.
珍 你知道我去做按♥摩♥了吧
Jen, you know that I went for that massage?
怎么 -简直难以置信
Yeah. - You are not going to believe this.
那混♥蛋♥按♥摩♥师亲了我的屁♥股♥
The bloke who did it kissed me on my arse.
不 珍 按♥摩♥师亲了我的屁♥股♥
No, Jen, my masseuse kissed me on my bum!
我当场就抽过去了
My body went into spasms!
我的手就这样僵了一个小时
My hands were like this for an hour!
别说了 笑死我了
Stop it! You're killing me!
这么搞笑一定得拿出来分享一下
You've got to spread that kind of material out!
简直难以置信
I can't believe this!
问题在哪 我知道了
So what's the problem? I know!
他没给你写信 也没给你打电♥话♥?
He doesn't write, he doesn't call!
怎么 你觉得他对你有意思? -我不知道
What, did you think he was coming on to you? - I don't know!
也许他是按♥摩♥界的米开朗基罗
Maybe he's like the Michelangelo of physical therapists
要在作品上留下记号♥ 可能对谁都这样
and that was his signature. Maybe he does it to everybody.
老实说 我不管他有什么动机
Look, to be honest, I don't care why he did it.
我只知道自己当时很脆弱
All I know is that I was vulnerable.
我光着身子 可他却亲了我的屁♥股♥
I was naked, and he kissed me on my bottom.
我告诉你 这事才刚刚开始
I'll tell you something, this is not the last he has heard of me.
老天有眼 从今往后没有人
As God is my witness, no man shall ever have to be
可以再被他占便宜亲屁♥股♥
kissed on the bottom unexpectedly because of this man ever again.
你笑个屁啊
Will you stop laughing?!
这可是我第一次比你们早走
This is the first time I've left before you.
我们在找亲屁♥股♥的案例
We're looking up legal precedents of Roy being kissed on the arse.
算了吧罗伊 你会上电视的
Don't sue him, Roy. You'll get on the news.
别听她的 -是个人都会笑的
Don't listen to her. - Everyone will laugh!
没人会笑的 珍
No-one will laugh! Come on, Jen,
跟我们一起把那个禽兽绳之以法
help us bring this monster to justice!
不行 乐队今晚有新歌♥表演
I can't. The band are playing a new song tonight,
他们想听听我的意见
they want my opinion.
你知道应该说"棒极了"对吧
You know to just say, "It's great," Right?
罗伊 我是个有主见的人
Roy, I am a person, with thoughts and opinions.
不 你不是
No. You're not.
珍 你就说"棒极了"就行
Jen, please, just say, "It's great."
当别人向你征求意见时
When people like that ask you what you think,
他们其实只想听好话
all they want to hear is that they're geniuses.
再见