IT狂人（2006）

IT狂人 第四季 第三集
出了点事儿
宇宙
Space.
是什么
What is it?
简单地说 不知道
The simple answer is, we don't know.
至少目前还不知道
Or at least, we didn't know until now.
大家好 我是道格拉斯·瑞农
Hello, I'm Douglas Reynholm.
我不是科学家 却比当代科学家
And I'm not a scientist, but I do have a better understanding
对宇宙拥有更高深的见解
of what space is than any scientist living today.
我的见解从何而来 感谢这位先知
Where did I gain these insights? From this man.
宇宙学的创始人 贝斯·嘎嘎·吓鸡
The founder of Spaceology, Beth Gaga Shaggy,
跟雷帝嘎嘎和吓鸡都没关系
no relation to either Lady Gaga or Shaggy,
他是宇宙学的创始人
is the founder of Spaceology.
是宗教 不是邪教
A religion, not a cult.
换言之 只要谈到宇宙的问题
In other words, when it comes to space,
这位仁兄的头脑就异常清醒
he's the man with his head screwed on tight.
两周前的假期 他对我说
This is what he told me when I met him on holiday two weeks ago.
宇宙由无形意识尘埃组成 星星就是愿望
Space is invisible mind dust and stars are but wishes.
认真思考一下
I mean, think about that!
就是说 你在夜空中看到的每颗星星
That means every star you can see in the night sky
都是已实现的愿望
is a wish that has come true.
愿望之所以能实现
And they've come true
是遵循他所说的"星空法则"
because of something he calls Spacestar Ordering.
星空法则是基于星空代数
Spacestar Ordering is based on the twin scientific principles
以及许愿这两大科学定理
of star maths and wishy thinking.
如果想了解更多
If you'd like to know more,
全英有几千家宇宙学中心
there are thousands of Spaceology centres all over the UK.
如果这还不能说服你
If that doesn't convince you,
也许你的愿望就注定不会实现
well, then, maybe you just don't deserve to get what you want.
罗伊 你是天才 特效做得真棒
Wow. You're a genius, Roy! Love the special effects!
我转圈的特效你是怎么做的
How did you do that thing where I'm spinning around?
那个部分 你确实在转圈
Well, in that bit, you're actually spinning around.
瑞农先生 我很高兴你喜欢这个网站
I'm glad you like the website, Mr. Reynholm,
我真是花了不少工夫
I did spend quite a lot of time on it.
太棒了 50镑花得很值
It's brilliant, and well worth every penny of the 50 pounds.
不是说好了100镑吗
100...Didn't we say 100 pounds?
你当我是傻♥逼♥么
I never would have agreed to that.
珍 猜猜上周的这个时候谁想要直升机
Ah, Jen! Guess who wanted a helicopter this time last week
后来由于"星空法则"真的实现了这个梦想?
and now, thanks to Spacestar Ordering, has one?
你
You?
给你个提示 不系这两个蠢货
I'll give you a clue - It ain't these chaps!
你
You?
珍 你还别不信 你应该向他们学学
You're a sceptic, Jen. You should be more like these.
他们特别喜欢听"星空法则"的故事
They can't get enough of my Spacestar Ordering story.
对 我注意到你下来的频率高了很多
Yes, yes, I noticed you've been coming down here
因为他们总有问不完的问题
a lot more often because of all the questions.
瑞农先生 宇宙是如何给你直升机的
So, Mr. Reynholm, how did the cosmos grant you a helicopter?
我把想要的东西形象化
Well, I visualised the thing I wanted.
比如这次 我要的是直升机
In my case, it was a helicopter.
我把直升机画在纸上
I drew a picture of the helicopter on a piece of paper,
然后背对宇宙
then I stood with my back to space,
把纸扔到背后 再使劲许愿
threw the paper over my shoulder and wished really hard.
你说你背对宇宙 -没错
When you say that you stood with your back to space...- Yes.
这到底是怎么做到的
How exactly did you achieve that?
我等到天黑嘛
I waited till night time.
那是当然
Of course.
几天后 我就买♥♥了架直升机
Couple of days later, bought myself a helicopter.
你说这能用常理解释吗
Explain that one, if you can!
我希望宇宙能让
I wish the cosmos would
我们办公室难以寻找
make it slightly harder to find our office.
珍 别担心 你的愿望会实现的
Don't worry, Jen, you'll get your wish,
而我总有一天会得到机器手
just as I one day, I'll get my robot hand.
有了科学的头脑 加上对"星空法则"的信仰
Scientific mind, believes in Spacestar Ordering.
谁先得到机器手还不一定呢
Who's getting the robot hand first?
今晚你会去吧
Hey, you're still up for tonight, right?
莫斯去我就去
I'll go if Moss goes.
对不起 珍 我觉得音乐既费解又烦人
Sorry, Jen. I find music confusing and annoying.
有一次罗伊邀我去看演唱会 我觉得挺没劲的
Roy invited me to a gig once. I didn't really enjoy it.
那是你去错地方了 你去了游泳池
You went to the wrong address. You went to a swimming pool.
你确定令你费解与烦人的
Are you sure it's not swimming pools
不是那个游泳池吗
that you find confusing and annoying?
你说得对 我讨厌的不是音乐 是游泳
You're right. It's not music I hate, it's swimming!
罗伊 我会去的
You know what? I will come, Roy.
莫斯呢 他竟然错过了这个
Where's Moss? I can't believe he's missing out on this.
他们人呢
Where are they?
我要去前面跳舞
I'm going to have to go dance at the front.
你都那么大岁数了还跳啊
Aren't you a bit old for the front?
我才31
I'm 31!
真有你的 哥们
Good for you, mate!
小心 我的脚
Careful! My foot!
悠着点啊 同学
You chill out, man!
天呐
Jesus!
不是吧 你居然跟乐队的人搞上了
Get out of town! You hooked up with someone from the band?
哪位
Wow, who was it?
诺曼
Norman.
诺曼 鼓手对吧
Norman? Oh, he's the drummer, right?
键盘手
The keyboard player.
键盘手?
The keyboard player?
好吧
Okay.
怎么
What?
没什么
No, it's just...
键盘手? 真的假的?
The keyboard player? Really?!
是啊 怎么了
Yeah. What?
他有点呆呆的 不是你喜欢的型啊
It's just he's a bit geeky, isn't he? I didn't think he was your type.
珍和书呆子约会咯
Jen's going out with a geek!
不会就因为他是乐队成员吧
Are you sure it's not just because he's in a band?
没错罗伊 我就是这么肤浅的人
Yes. I really am that shallow, Roy!
我知道
I know you are.
好吧 我就是那么肤浅
Yeah, I'm that shallow.
是啊 你真的非常非常肤浅
You are, though. I mean, you really, really are.
我喜欢他
Look, I like him.
他话不多 却很有思想
He doesn't say a lot, he's more of a thinker.
我觉得他很酷
I think he's really cool.
因为他是乐队成员 天呐
It's because he's in a band! Oh, flippin' hell.
你背又疼了?
Is this your back again?
从啥时开始热舞区变的那么癫狂了
When did mosh pits become so unruly?
我就说让你去做个按♥摩♥嘛
I told you, you should get a massage.
我从来就不喜欢按♥摩♥
Oh, I've never enjoyed having massages.
我不想在陌生人面前赤身裸体
I don't like being naked in front of strangers,
他在后面瞎倒腾我可没法放松
and I can never relax if I think someone might play Norah Jones.
谁想听"星空法则"的又一成功案例
Who wants to hear another Spacestar Ordering success story?
等一下
Oh, wait, wait! Yeah, yeah.
开始
Go!
上周 我决定学习如何纹身
Last week, I decided I wanted to learn how to do tattoos.
我运用了"星空法则"
So, I did the business.
买♥♥了本纹身的书来读
Bought a book on tattoos, read it,
现在我会纹身了 看
and now I know how to do tattoos. Look!
我的直升机
My helicopter!
你太有才了
Oh, that's brilliant.
我也要看 嗷
Let me see it... Ow!
你犯什么毛病
What the bloody hell's wrong with you?
我后背疼
I have a really bad back.
你应该去找个按♥摩♥师
You should see a masseuse.
找什么按♥摩♥师啊
Don't see a masseuse!
按♥摩♥师是20世纪最大的诈骗犯
They're the biggest con of the 20th century.
哥原来也背疼 后来给治好了
I had a bad back, and I cured it,
多亏这本前无古人后无来者的科普资料
thanks to the techniques outlined in this
揭露了按♥摩♥产业的技术内♥幕♥
groundbreaking expose of the massage industry.
《按♥摩♥全是胡扯》 贝斯·嘎嘎·吓鸡著
跟我做
Go like this.
拉伸你的后背
And push your back up.
马♥勒♥戈壁