IT狂人（2006）

听好
You there!
干瘪瞎老头
Blind, wizened man.
在下远道而来 只为拜见传说中的神奇巫师
I have come from a faraway place to seek a great sorcerer.
我就是你要找的人 -你
I am whom you seek. - You?
你不过就是个糟老头
You're nothing but an old man
衣衫褴褛地坐在帐篷里玩纸牌
in a tent in rags playing hoopaloo with the wind.
需要我证明给你看吗 -必须啊
You wish for proof? - Aye!
抽一张牌
Pick a card.
别告诉我什么牌
Don't tell me!
把牌放回去
Put it back in the pack.
是这张牌吗
Is it your card?
不是 不过非常接近
No, but damn close.
你果然是我要找的人
You are the man I seek.
过来 坐 告诉我你的烦恼
Come, sit. Tell me a tale.
是个女人
It's a woman.
总是女人的问题
It is always a woman.
她甜美的嗓音唤醒了我心中的雄狮
Her sweet voice wakes a mighty tiger behind my fly.
但她傲慢自大看不上我
Yet she is proud and will not have me.
她叫珍或者简什么的
Her name is Jane or Jan or something similar.
你想拥她上♥床♥吗 -当然 意淫了几千次了
You would have her to your bed? - Aye. A thousand times, aye.
把这个酊 酊 酊
Take this, tinc... tinc...
酊剂拿上 放在她的饮料里
tincture, and put it in her drink.
不出几时她就是你的女人了
She'll be yours within moments!
多谢 我会好好利用的
Thank you. I will use it well.
为毛打我 -抱歉 我不是故意的
What's that for? - Sorry, it was an accident.
你打我♥干♥什么 痛死人家了
What did you do that for? It really hurts.
我说了啊 不是故意的
Like I say, it was an accident.
里面可全是硬币啊
It was full of coins!
行了吧 我都道歉一次了
All right! I've apologised once.
你看你干的蠢事儿
That was a stupid thing to do!
你个白♥痴♥ 你怎么不接住
You could have caught it, you idiot!
真蠢 -我没空跟你废话了
That was stupid! - I've no time for this bullshit.
《IT狂人》 第二季 第六集
孤男寡女
打到第几关了 -闭嘴
What level is this? - Shut up!
天啊
My God!
太棒了 -我帅呆了
That was perfect! - I rock!
一个都没漏 我在浪费生命呢
Didn't miss a note. I am wasting my life.
我在浪费生命 -怎么
I am wasting my life. - How?
我怎么这么擅长这个 我怎么这么牛逼
Why am I so good at this? Why am I so good at this?
打得再好 能写进简历里去吗
What, am I gonna put this on my CV?
你就不能权当是个娱乐吗
Can't something just be fun?
别 快收起来 求你了
Oh, no, put it away, please.
可接下来是极具挑战性的一曲啊
But I've got a big gig coming up.
赶紧收起来
Put it away.
好吧好吧 灾星女 -哦 天哪
All right, Yoko. - Oh, God.
你是不是还穿着昨天的衣服
Are you still in the same clothes as yesterday?
我昨天在酒吧里遇见了个妞
I, may have met a lady in the pub last night.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
昨晚可是个难忘的夜晚
Oh, yes, it was quite a memorable evening.
不错啊
Good for you.
喂
Hello?
斯黛芬妮 嗨
Oh, Stephanie, hi.
天啊 好 好
Oh, God. Right, OK, yeah.
好 好 我会马上让他...
Yeah. Yeah. I'll send him right...
我马上上去 拜
I'll be right up. Bye.
又是道格拉斯吗 -是
Douglas again? - Yeah.
他老是找些蹩脚的借口叫我上去
He keeps bringing me up on these flimsy pretexts.
前几天 他叫我上去就为了看只死苍蝇
The other day, it was to show me a dead fly.
苍蝇
Fly!
是啊 越来越莫名其妙
Yeah, it's getting a little ridiculous.
昨晚的事儿我说了你一定不相信
You won't believe what happened last night.
等我先告诉你我遇到的事儿
Wait till I tell you what happened to me.
我从食堂买♥♥了块松饼
I bought this muffin from the canteen,
要是里面没有金丝桃甙 我就去死
and I'll be Jolly Rogered if there's not hyperoside in it.
锔 铒 如果我没疯的话 还有硒
Curium. Erbium. And unless I'm going crazy, that's selenium.
里面肯定有金丝桃甙
It's definitely hyperoside,
但列出的配料里居然没写
and it's not listed in the table of contents.
故事不错
That was a great story.
你记得昨晚那个女人吗
You remember the woman from last night?
她看起来挺可爱的 是吧
She seemed lovely, right?
她很招人喜欢 -是 我们出去的时候
She was a delight. - Yeah. We get outside,
有一群流浪汉 她认识其中两个
there was a group of tramps, two of whom she knows by name.
她就开始朝他们喊
She starts screaming at them,
"你欠我钱 你欠我钱"
"You owe me money! You owe me money!"
她觉得流浪汉欠她钱
She thinks that the tramps owe her money.
等我反应过来 就全完了
Next thing I know, it all kicks off.
我可是在逃命啊 真是可怕的夜晚 莫斯
I'm running for my life. It was a horrible evening, Moss,
可怕的夜晚 她真是个极其可怕的女人
a horrible evening, and she's a really horrible horrible woman.
是...不过你和她上♥床♥了
Right... But you slept with her?
是啊
Yeah.
珍
Jen
我正好在等你呢
I've been expecting you.
是你让我上来的
You asked me to come up.
所以我才等你啊
Which is why I've been expecting you.
不管怎么说 很高兴我们讲清楚了
Anyway, I'm glad we've got that cleared up.
我有很多重要文件要批阅
I've got a lot of important papers to look over,
所以 如果你不介意的话...
so if you don't mind...
什么 走是吗
What, leave?
是的 请吧
Yes, please.
我喜欢你 珍
I like you, Jen.
你不多问
You don't ask questions.
许多人特别费解我为什么叫他们上来
A lot of people'd be confused as to why I invited them up,
然后又叫他们走 而你不是
then asked them to leave. Not you.
一个人得很有骨气
A person needs a lot of backbone
才能如此听候调遣
to allow to be ordered around like that.
你有"种"
You've got spunk and balls.
我就喜欢有"种"的女人
And I like that in a woman.
多谢
Thank you.
所以我想让你做我的私人助理
Which is why I'd like you to be my P.A.
是吗 -是的 斯黛芬妮马上走人
Really? - Yes. Stephanie's leaving.
当真? -不是"丹珍" 是斯黛芬妮
Definitely? - No, Stephanie.
过来坐在我的大手上
Come sit on my big hand.
你将大幅加薪 一个绝佳的机会
It's a huge pay rise, a chance of wonderful opportunities.
你绝不应错过 性
You'd be crazy to pass up. Sex.
什么 -什么什么
What? - What?
你是不是说了性
Did you just say sex?
没有吧 怎么可能呢 珍
I don't think so. Come on, Jen!
把心思放在工作上
I need your mind on the job,
别老想着火♥辣♥辣的性了
not thinking about sexy sex all the time.
的确
It's true,
我曾被控告调戏女下属
I have been accused of sexy shenanigans against my female employees.
是啊 都闹上法庭了
Yes, there's that court case.
不过她会和解的
Yeah, but she'll settle.
那是过去的我 现在是全新的我
That was the old me. This is the new me.
我想让你参与我全新的未来
And I want you to be a part of it.
参与我的未来 性
A part of me. Sex...
莫斯 我有话要跟你说
Moss. I've got something to tell you.
天啊
Oh, my God!
等我说完你再喊 -抱歉
Wait 'till I tell you. - Ah, sorry.
罗伊在哪 他应该也在的
Where's Roy? He should be here.
在你说之前
Before you begin,
我得先声明 我听到重大新闻有时会反应不过来
I should say that I have problems processing big news.
道格拉斯让我做他的"私助"
Douglas has asked me to be his P.A.
天啊
Oh, my God!
他的私助
His P.A.!
我...的...老...天
Oh... my... God!
这可不是小事
That is something and a half!
他的私助 怎么会呢
His P.A.! How?
他的 不是吧 他的私助
His... Shut up! His P.A.!
意思是私人助理 -谢谢
It means Personal Assistant. - Thank you.