IT狂人（2006）

Let's see if... I can't leave it.
受不鸟了 还是关机吧
I can't leave it. I'll turn it off.
哥刚调过震动
I've just been set up.
真♥他♥妈♥谢天谢地
Oh, God f***!
请继续
Go on!
咦 转到语♥音♥信箱了
Oh, it's gone to message.
罗伊 是我 没啥事
Hey, Roy, nothing important!
就是问问葬礼怎么样了
Just wondering how the funeral went.
回电♥话♥哦
Call me back.
既然大家都已就坐
If we are all quite ready,
丹农要求在仪式开始前
Denholm instructed that
播放一个小短片
this short film be played before the service.
你们都给我滚出去 滚出去
You're all out of there! You are out of there!
你们死定了
You're history!
如果你们在看这个 说明我已经死了
If you're watching this, it means I'm dead, now.
都是这玩意惹的祸
And it's all thanks to these little things.
错了 -闭嘴
Wrong! - Shut up!
香烟终于害死了我
Cigarettes have finally killed me.
正如它也害死了我爸爸 我爸爸的爸爸
Like they killed my father, my father's father,
我妈妈的爸爸 我妈妈 和她的爸爸
my mother's father, my mother, and her father.
可我就是戒不了这该死的东西
I just can't seem to give the damn things up.
我爱它们了
I love them!
诱人的香烟啊
Sweet smoky cigarettes.
你这个醉人的小香香
You delicious bastards!
最后的任务 斯蒂芬妮听好了
Final clause, Stephanie,
今后你能不能把人事档案
could you categorise the
按字母顺序分个类呢
personel files alphabetically from now on?
之前的韵脚分类法简直是坑爹啊
That rhyming thing, this isn't working.
致电《名人录》 让他们把我加入词条
Also call Who's Who and get them to update my entry.
感谢各位到来
Well, thanks everyone for coming!
享受葬礼吧
Enjoy the rest of the funeral.
说得很好
Well said, sir!
现在有请皮平先生朗诵悼词
I will now ask Mr. Pippin to read the eulogy.
我看到今天来了很多宾朋
I see a lot of faces out there.
有我熟悉的
Some of you I know,
有我在接下来几个月里将要熟悉的
some of you I hope to get to know better over the coming months.
也有我再也不想见到的
Some of you I probably won't be seeing very much off, after today!
悼词
The reading of the eulogy
本该是有长子负责朗读的
is a duty normally left to the eldest child.
但你们知道 丹农的儿子道格拉斯
But, as you all know, Denholm's son Douglas
在7年前的一次审判后就不知所踪
mysteriously disappeared after a lengthy court case, 7 years ago.
请容许我朗诵一首电影
Let me start by reading this poem that I saw
《四个婚礼和一个葬礼》中的诗
in the film Four Weddings and A Funeral.
"停止一切的钟声吧"
"Stop... all the clocks."
爹爹啊
Father!
窝瓜脸牧师
Unhappy priest!
你的上帝呢
Where is your God?
你的上帝现在在哪
Where is your God now!
这里躺着一个伟人
Here lies a great man!
一个伟人啊
A great man!
爹爹啊
Father!
我错过了什么
Did I miss anything?
丹农的悼词刚开始
They just started Denholm's eulogy.
你身上真臭
You stink!
我刚抽了一口从下水道捡来的香烟
I just smoked a cigarette from a drain.
哟 请问这位美女贵姓啊
Well, who's this?
你好 我是道格拉斯 -珍·芭柏
Hi, I'm Douglas. - Jen Barber.
人如其名呀
Beautiful second name!
珍 你葬礼完后有空吗
What're you doing after the funeral ,Jen?
道格拉斯 -说 牧师
Douglas! - Speak, priest!
你父亲嘱咐如果你来了
No, I'm a vic... Your father prepared a second tape
就播放第二盘录像带 -还有一盘
in the event of your sudden arrival. - A second tape?
我懂了
I see...
其实 我还是没搞明白
Actually, I don't follow.
我这就放
I'll just put in on.
又见面了 如果你们在看这个
Hello again. If you're watching this,
说明我第一任妻子的儿子回来了
it's because my son from my 1st marriage has arrived,
造成了一场混乱
caused a scene,
正在跟周围的娘们搭讪
and is currently chatting up some nearby trull.
死女人 安静点
Quiet, woman!
道格拉斯 我有很重要的事要告诉你
Douglas.I have something important to tell you.
老爹 我来了
I'm here, papa!
瑞农企业现在归你了
Reynholm Industries is now yours.
天呐 谢谢老爹 -但我有条件
My Lord, thank you father. - But it's yours at a price.
我要你现在 在所有雇员面前答应我
I want you to promise me now, in front of all your new employees,
保证今后绝不会再爆出性丑闻
that you will never again become embroiled in a sexual harassment case
绝不会因此影响公♥司♥形象 -我保证 爹爹
that dangers the company. - I promise, father.
还有件事 只能私下和你讲
There's one more thing, but it's for your ears only.
需要你关掉录像 带回家
So, I want you to stop the tape, take it home,
一个人观看
and watch it again later in private.
他们就是我的新的家人
But these are my new family.
我对他们没什么好隐瞒的
I have no secrets from them!
好了 道格拉斯
OK, Douglas. Now we're alone,
现在只有我们俩 我就直说吧
I can speak frankly.
今后某个时候
You may receive a visit from the police at some point
会有警♥察♥找你谈拖欠养老保险金的问题
concerning irregularities in the pension fund.
快关掉
Turn that off.
一直以来
I've been using a very
我都在靠一位吃过牢饭的资深会计师
creative accountant recently released from jail
来管理我该死的基金 -遥控器在哪里
to manage what I call the suck fund! - Where is the remote?
如今这该死的基金... -我自己来
Now, the suck fund... - I'll do it myself!
再见了 爹爹
Good bye, father!
好了 我走了 周一见哦
Right, I'm off. I'll see you all on Monday.
道格拉斯 很抱歉
Douglas! Sorry,
我不是有意冒犯的 在下德里克·皮平
I didn't mean to. Derek Pippin!
我是你父亲的得力干将
I worked very closely with your father.
德里克 很高兴见到你
Derek, good to meet you.
很抱歉 我会用我的自己人
I'm afraid I'll be bringing in my own people,
所以你被开除了
so you're immediately fired.
就这样吧 各位好运
Okay, good luck everyone, and...
美女 一会儿见哦
I'll see you later.
这样就好了 -太棒了
...and you are ready to go! - Brilliant!
多谢了 电脑男
Thank you, computer man!
我父亲曾告诉我
I'm told my father was particularly
他非常欣赏你们IT部
proud of the IT Department,
由一位活力十足的干将
run by a dynamic go-getter,
一位爱尔兰天才领导
a genius, and a man from Ireland!
还有件事
There's one last thing.
我怎么删除这些标着养老金的文件
How do I erase files like this one here, marked pensions?
这样就行了 -哇哦 都不见了
Just like this. - All gone!
太棒了 谢谢你们
Wonderful. Thanks, guys.
我会和你们部门保持密切联♥系♥的
I'll be working very closely with your department.
我有预感我不只需要你们
And I have a feeling I'll be needing you
删除涉案文件的
for a lot more than just deleting incriminating files.
我指的就是文件
I just mean files.
好了 我们走了 -顺便说句
OK, we'd better be off. - By the way...
你们那位迷人可爱
where's that ootsie-tootsie
性感娇俏的老板娘去哪儿了
humdinging-coochie mama-boss of yours?
她提前下班了
She went home early.
说她有急事
She said she had some catching up to do.
最后一件事
One last thing.
我帮您搞好了
I sorted out this for you.
我担心震动依然有点弱
Now, I'm afraid the vibrate setting is still a little weedy.
所以你可以把它调到10级
So, you may wanna put it all the way up to ten.
10级
Ten!
我来试试
Shall I do...
好了
...done...
就这样
...and done!
好嘞 拜拜
Ok,bye bye.
抱歉了哦 老男人
Sorry about this, old man!
真帅