IT狂人（2006）

太好了 我撞大运了
Brilliant. Just my luck.
老实说 我这么早把你们叫过来
I'll be honest with you. The reason I got you round a bit early
是想定几条规矩
is to go over some ground rules, OK?
为了让今晚的聚会顺利进行
If this evening is gonna work in any way,
你们得假装是正常人 好吗
you need to pretend to be normal people, yeah?
谈一些大家都感兴趣的话题
Keep the conversation about things that would interest everybody.
不要净谈些内存 RAM什么的
You know, nothing about memory or RAM.
内存就是RAM
Memory is RAM!
我滴娘亲啊
Oh, dear!
如果话题不对 我就...
If you stray into areas I don't think appropriate, I'll...
怎么办呢... 我就咳嗽
I don't know... I'll cough.
咳嗽是个信♥号♥♥ 明白了
Coughing is the signal, got it.
瑞蒙 你听到没
Richmond, did you hear that?
什么 -珍一咳嗽 我们就要闭嘴
What? - If Jen coughs we have to stop talking.
好吧
Fine.
莫斯 有件事很重要
Moss, this is important,
我把你安排在玛格丽特旁边
I'm sitting you beside Margaret.
玛格丽特 听名字像个女滴
Margaret, from her name I presume she's a lay-dee?
没错 她人很好
Yes. She's nice.
最近刚刚离婚 我要说的是
She got divorced recently but I should say
她一喝酒就会变得...
when she's had a few drinks she tends to get a bit...
过度兴奋
over excited.
会一直跑厕所 我也这样
Needs to go to the toilet a lot. That happens to me.
我会想一些干燥的东西 比如沙漠或者...
I try to think of something dry, like the desert or...
麦片
Shredded wheat.
你没搞清状况 我是说她有点...
You don't understand. What I'm saying is she's kind of...
她会对男人格外热情
She's kind of on the look out for a man.
我懂了 那男人长什么样
I see. What does he look like?
他不敢过来的 这么多人呢
He wouldn't come here, not with all these people around.
怎么了
What's this about?
珍的朋友被跟踪了 -酷
Jen's friend has got a stalker. - Cool.
天呐 杀了我吧
God, maybe I could just kill myself.
她们来了 装得正常点
Here they are, so look normal.
再正常点 再正常点
Look more normal, more normal!
放松
Relax!
还是算了吧
Forget it!
你好 快进来
Hello. Come in.
你好 我叫罗伊
Hello. I'm Roy.
我对车祸表示遗憾
I'm sorry about the accident.
你好
Hello.
这是宝拉
This is Paula.
我看出来了
Yep, I know.
我刚才是跟她说话
I was talking to her.
你不会以为我是跟你说话吧
Did you think I was talking to you?
这是杰西卡
This is Jessica.
大家好
Hello, everybody!
天啊 遇到"社交场合"了
Oh, my God. Social situations!
奶奶的 我觉得这是分给我的那个
Oh, bloody hell, I think this is my one.
他们是我的同事
These are my workmates.
不是我一般意义上的朋友
They're not my usual friends.
我和他们共事 他们是我的同事
I work with them, they're my workmates.
这样啊
Oh, yes.
"IT部门... 不用计算"
"IT department... does not compute."
我这是怎么了
Oh, my God!
你就是罗伊吧 -没错
You must be Roy. - Yep.
大家好
Hello, everybody!
我已经喝了好几杯了 所以谁都别占我便宜
I have had a few drinks already, so, no-one take advantage of me.
你们继续
Oh, go on then!
我对自己上一个广♥告♥片很满意
I was very pleased with my last campaign.
我今天才开始看
I just started running it today.
这是你啊
That's you!
好吧...
OK...
那么...
So...
...车祸到底有多严重
...how bad was the accident?
有辆摩托车闯了红灯
Well, a motorbike jumped the lights
我急转弯撞到了灯柱上
and so I swerved into a lamppost.
气囊没有弹出来 所以我重重地撞到了仪表盘上
The airbag didn't deploy so I hit the dashboard pretty hard.
脸撞上去了吗 -整张脸了撞上去
With your facial area. - I hit it full in the face.
看得出来
Of course you did!
车速呢
Speed?
时速差不多75公里
I was doing about 75.
这么快啊
That's fast!
你恢复意识以后
When you regained consciousness,
照镜子会觉得
did you look in the mirror and think,
"天呐 我毁容了"了吗
"Oh, God, my face is ruined"?
车祸后他们不让我照镜子
They didn't let me see my face after the accident.
明白了
I see.
他们说我的脸可能没以前那么对称了
They said it might not be as symmetrical as it once had been,
但对不对称不重要
but symmetry isn't everything.
哼哼... 我喜欢对称
Yeah... I like symmetry.
住手 住手 我在吃饭
Stop it! Stop it! I'm trying to eat my dinner!
天啊 天啊
Gosh. Oh, dear!
我们在"聊天" 哇哦
Look at us having a conversation. Yikes!
开始了解你 了解你的一切
Getting to know you, getting to know all about you!
"吃饭" 你好 你还好吗
Eating! Hello, how are you?
我是条鱼 救命 我被吃掉了
"Oh, I'm a fish. Help, I'm being eaten!"
你笑的时候 我能看见你头骨的轮廓
You know when you laugh, I can see the outline of your skull.
你的头骨真美
You have a beautiful skull.
好的...
OK...
说到手术...
So the surgeon...
什么 -医生的技术好吗
Yeah? - Good man?
非常好 他给自己整得鼻子
Very. He did his own nose.
你在手术之前认识他吗
And did you meet him before the operation?
嗯 他一直陪着我 人真的很好
Yeah, he ran me through it. He was really nice.
他有自信吗 -你为什么对他这么感兴趣
Confident? - Why are you so interested?
我的...母亲...
My... mother...
想要做隆胸手术
is thinking of having a breast augmentation.
我懂了 -做女人"挺"好
I see. - Yeah. Always wanted them bigger!
我答应生日的时候带她去
But I promised I'd get them for her birthday.
她快过60大寿了 -这样啊
Her 60th is coming up. - Right.
我建议为今天的晚餐鼓掌
Well, I think a round of applause is justified for that dinner.
好的 谢谢皮得做的晚餐
Yes, and thanks, Peter, for making it.
谁要吃甜点
So, who's for dessert?
这不是甜点吗 -不是 这是蛋黄沙司
Isn't this dessert? - No, that's tartare sauce.
蛋黄沙司：一种调味酱
那我还能吃甜点吗 -可以
Can I have some dessert? - Yes.
我要蛋黄沙司 住手 住手
I'll have the tartare sauce. Stop it! Stop it!
看他多怕痒啊
Look how ticklish he is!
住手 -来嘛
Stop it! - Come on!
珍 管管那个女人
Jen, do something about that woman!
我警告过你了 -什么时候
I warned you about her. - When?
我花了十分钟警告你
I spent 10 min trying to warn you.
我知道她为什么会离婚了 她活该
I can see why she's divorced. She's very divorceable.
谁都想带她上法庭 好休了她
You can't wait to take her to court to get rid of her!
你干什么呢
What are you doing?
你管得有点宽吧
Well, not that it's any of your business,
我不过是要去拉个粑粑
but I was planning to have a little poo.
不 我是说你对宝拉
No, no, I mean with Paula.
你一直问她车祸的事
You keep asking her all those questions about her accident.
人家想知道嘛
I'm interested!
你是想知道她的脸撞成什么样了
You're wondering what state her face is in.
有这么明显吗
Was that obvious?
我觉得我最好还是回去
I suppose I better go back
看看朱迪·费尼肯想要怎样
in there and see what Judy Finnegan's up to!
再这样下去我就要和她离婚了
If this keeps on going on I will divorce her.
你还没和她结婚呢
You're not married to her.
的确没有... 我想也是
No, I suppose... I suppose I'm not.
来吧 好好表现
Come on, behave yourselves.
还有挽救的机会
There's still a chance to save this thing.
抱歉 我听不清你说话
Sorry, I couldn't hear you.
我说 "你喝尿会死吗"