IT狂人（2006）

What? What it is?
丹农死了
Denholm is dead.
对了 还有丹农死了
Oh, yes, and Denholm is dead.
大家都准备好了吗
Okay, everyone ready?
你穿西装很帅 应该多参加葬礼
You look great. We should go to more funerals.
话说他的葬礼...
Yeah, except, is there any chance I could...
我能不能不去 -不行 干嘛
not go to this one? - No, why?
葬礼嘛
It's just, you know, funerals.
很晦气的
So morbid.
你能不能忘了那网站的事
Would you please forget this website nonsense?
你不会死的
You are not going to die.
你精神点好吗 别把葬礼搞砸了
Come on, cheer up! You're gonna ruin the funeral.
你说的对 无视我
Yeah, you're right. Pay no attention to me.
我是傻♥逼♥
I'm being an idiot.
行尸走肉啊
Dead man walking!
笑死人了
Very funny.
你这个小混♥蛋♥
You crazy little bastard!
珍 你最近一次锻炼是在什么时候
When did you last exercise, Jen?
别 别给我测试
No, you are not going to do it to me.
害怕了 -不
Scared? - No.
我觉得自己一时半会还死不了
I happen to think I have a good few years left.
我经常锻炼 而且3年没抽烟了
I take plenty of exercise and I haven't smoked for 3 years.
你以前抽过烟
I didn't know you smoked.
最多一天抽了40根
I was on 40 a day by the end.
一天抽40天 假设其间至少有两个闰年
40 a day, that's 146 002 a decade.
那十年就是146002根 你到底是怎么戒掉的
Presuming at least two leap years. How the flip do you give up?
基本上是靠自控 莫斯
Basically, pure self-control, Moss.
后来就再也没抽过了
No, I'd never smoke again.
还不如去舔鞋底 德里克 你好
I'd rather lick a tramp. Derek, Hello.
你好 珍
Hello, Jen.
感谢你打印的那些讣告
Thanks for printing out those funeral announcements.
不客气 我超喜欢干这种事
Oh, no, I enjoyed doing it.
怀着悲痛的心情
You know, in a sad way.
能借一步说话吗 -当然
Can I have a word, please? - Sure.
我的手♥机♥
Hey, oh, my phone.
震动加强了吗
Oh cool, have you souped up?
嗯 我把你的手♥机♥拆了个体无完肤
Yeah, I totally pimped your phone, girlfriend.
你设了什么
What set are you setting?
这是最弱的震动
That is the lowest setting.
如你所料
It shall come as no surprise
我不喜欢这个部门
to you that I don't like this department.
以前不喜欢 以后也不会喜欢
Never have, never will.
我觉得公♥司♥不需要IT部门
I see no need for an IT department,
我想把地下室改成更有用的地方
I would much rather use this basement for something important.
比如一个超大的厕所
Like a big toilet!
必须承认 我完全没有料到你要说这个
I have to say that actually, it's a bit of a surprise.
是吗 我给过你一张便条 -没收到
Really? I did send out a memo. - I didn't get it.
我根本不知道你会这么想 -就是这样
I had no idea you felt like this. - Well, I do.
但是 我准备再给你一次机会
However, I am prepared to give you another chance.
再给一次机会 你什么时候给我们机会了
Another chance? But I didn't know we'd already had a chance.
这应该是第一次 你应该给我们一次机会
This should be the first chance. You should give us this chance.
然后再给一次
And then, another chance.
给我 给我试试
OK, I'll get it! Give me a go!
我把它设到5
I got to put it up to 5.
放在口袋里
I'm gonna put it in my pocket!
设到8 设到8
Put it up to 8! Put it up to 8!
莫斯 我才不会它他设成8呢
I'm not gonna put it up to 8, Moss!
非把我小鸡鸡震掉不可
It'll blow my cock off.
快点 调到8 -好吧 我调我调
Come on, come on. Put it up! - Okay, I'll put it up.
你们知不知道 今天有位伟人要下葬
You do know we are burying a great man today!
还有谁死了
Did someone else die?
我说的是瑞农先生
I mean Mr. Reynholm!
"还有谁死了"
"Did someone else die?"
我又不知道
Oh, I didn't know.
你说话小心点 他是我们的新老板
You have to be careful, he's our new boss.
他看我们不爽 一直说要
He hates us, he keeps saying that there's no need
灭了IT部来着 -我怎么不知道
for an IT Department. - Why didn't anyone tell me this?
他有张便条上写着
There was a memo. It just said:
"我恨IT部"
"I hate the IT Department."
你不能打扮成这样参加葬礼 瑞蒙
You are not coming to the funeral, Richmond!
什么葬礼
What funeral?
现在几点了
Has anyone got the right time?
三点差二十
It's twenty to three.
我这儿是三点差一刻
I'll make it a quarter to.
怎么了 哦对了 因为那个网站说
Why? Yes! Because that website
你下午三点会死 对吧
said you were going to die at 3 pm, didn't it?
是吗 我不记得了 -你怎么能忘呢
Did it? I can't remember. - How could you forget?
上面明明说你今天下午三点
It clearly stated that you were going to die, today.
会准时死掉的 难道是明天不成
At precisely 3:00. Unless, it was tomorrow.
不 就是今天下午三点
But no, it's today, at 3:00.
能不能别想这个
Well, would you put it out of your mind?
你说得对 不想了
Right, you're right, out of my mind.
那位就是丹农的妻子
Okay, there's Denholm's wife.
我不知道该对死者家属说什么
I never know what to say to people at funeral.
我也不知道 压力好大
Neither do I. I'm terrible.
只要说"请节哀顺变" 然后走过去就行
Oh, just say "I'm sorry for your lost", then move on.
他永远活在我们心中 -谢谢
He'll be in our prayers. - Thank you.
节哀顺变 -谢谢
Sorry for your loss. - Thank you.
死掉就算了
Move on.
节哀顺变 -谢谢
Sorry for your loss. - Thank you.
这和丢钢笔的感觉不同 是吧
It's not like you've lost a pen, is it?
比那惨多了
It's so much worse.
要来支钢笔吗
Would you like a pen?
我送你一支吧 -不必了 谢谢
I have this spare one. - Oh, no, thank you.
请收下 -为什么给我钢笔
Please, take it. - Why are you giving it to me?
我也不知道
I don't know.
有失必有得
Swings and roundabouts!
死神啊
Death!
死神来了
Death is coming!
死神就在这里
Death is here...
死神就在门外
Death is outside...
无人幸免
There's no escape.
我不喜欢德里克看我们的眼神
I don't like the way Derek's looking at us.
听 是谁在敲门
Who's that knocking at the door?
噢 知道了
Yes...
是死神 肯定的
It's death! Yet it'd be.
他是不是有病啊
Is this normal?
为了丹农 死神轻轻的来
Death came for Denholm just as it will come for you.
谁是下一个呢
Who will be next?
是你
You?
还是你
Maybe you...
我们齐聚一堂 -你怎么了
We are gathered here to... - What's wrong with you?
来祭奠一个伟人的逝去 -我没事
...past of a great man. - Nothing.
我从没在教堂见过这种老式的钟
I've never seen a grand-father clock in a church before.
估计是二手的
Yet, the one was a second hand.
他比我们在座的各位...
Yes, he had more money than...
都要富有 但他是否因此而卓越不凡
most of us here today. But did that make him a better man?
我们都知道丹农家财万贯
We know Denholm was a man of money.
是啊 他比我们在座的各位...
Yes, he had more money...
都要富有
than any of us here.
天呐
Oh, no! Jesus!
我的神啊
Jesus Christ!
快叫救护车
Holy...! Call me an ambulance!
我他妈不是在开玩笑
I'm not f****** joking!
快叫救护车
And get an ambulance!
我真♥他♥妈♥不是开玩笑
I'm not f****** joking!
快他妈叫救护车
Call me a f****** ambulance!
哦 等等...
Oh, no, wait...
是我手♥机♥震了
That's my phone!
我是觉得...
I think that... It's...
看看是谁打来的... 不能再震了...