IT狂人（2006）

《IT狂人》 第二季 第二集
金童归来
也就是说 也就是说...
Which means, which means...
到目前为止 今年的利润为...
a profit so far this year of...
1万8千亿亿 -漂亮
1800 billion billions. - Splendid!
这还没有算上你旗下
This doesn't even include the added revenue
iTV电视台的收益
arising for your take over of ITV!
iTV 我都忘记这茬了 太棒了
ITV? I'd forgotten about ITV. Brilliant!
先生们 我创办瑞农企业的时候
Gentleman, when I first started Reynholm Industries,
浑身上下只有两样东西
I had just two things in my possession:
一个梦想和600万英镑
a dream and 6 million pounds.
今天 我拥有一个商业帝国
Today, I have a business empire, the like of which...
是这个世上从未有过的奇葩
the world has never seen the like of which.
不要怪我骄傲自大
Hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say...
我是这世上最伟大的人
that I am the greatest man in the world!
先生们 为未来干杯
Gentleman, to the future.
哦 你们没有酒杯
Oh, you don't have any glasses.
装装样子吧
Just pretend.
为未来干杯 -干杯
To the future! - To the future!
打扰一下 有警♥察♥来了
Sorry to interrupt but there are some policemen here,
说要找你谈谈
they say they need to speak to you
拖欠养老保险金的问题
about irregularities in the pension fund.
我知道了 能给我倒杯茶吗 斯蒂芬妮
I see. Could you make me a cup of tea, please, Stephanie?
当天上午
好极了
Nice.
她是不是很美 -它只是个手♥机♥
Isn't she a beauty? - It's certainly a phone.
160万像素的屏幕
160 PPI screen.
支持无线上网 -知道我用的是什么手♥机♥吗
Wi-Fi enables... - Ask me what kind of phone I've got.
你用的是什么手♥机♥ -管他去呢
What kind of phone have you got? - It doesn't matter.
自带语♥音♥识别 假如要给我妈打电♥话♥
Voice recognition. So let's say I wanted to call my mum,
只要说声"妈妈"就行
I just have to say "Mum", and it calls her.
其他什么都不要做 各种给力
I don't need to do anything. It's the dog's bollocks.
老妈 老妈
Mum, mum, no...
不好意思 是莫斯说的
No, I'm sorry. No, Moss said that.
好的 回聊 拜拜
Yeah, okay, I'll call you later, bye.
唯一的缺陷是震动效果太弱了
Only problem with it is that it's got a very weedy vibrate setting.
看好了
I mean, watch this.
这算啥啊
I mean, what is that?
交给我了 -你行吗
I'll sort it out. - Oh, could you?
把震动调大点就行
Just you know, welly up the vibrator a bit.
没问题 你现在能回答问题了吗
Okay, all right. Now, will you answer this question?
你怎么还在纠结那些问题
Are we still on this?
你老是打断我 否则早就问完了
You keep interrupting! We would've been done ages ago,
好吧 你继续
All right, go on.
第39题 你最近一次锻炼是在什么时候
Question 39. When was the last time you exercise?
最近一次锻炼是在 记不得了
The last time I exercised was never.
我还在想那个第12题
I'm still reeling from your answer to question 12.
是什么问题来着
What was question 12?
你洗澡的时候刷牙
You brush your teeth in the bath.
怎么了 -你的蛋蛋在那里
So? - That's where your balls are.
好的 第40题
Okay, question 40.
你有吃5种水果和蔬菜吗
Do you get your five fruit and veg?
我当然是试过... 差不多有5种
I mean, I certainly try to... I would say I probably do.
他指的是一天 -啥
A day. - A what?
你肯定会喜欢这个
You're going to love this.
这个网站利用你提供的所有信息
This website takes all the information you gave me
你猜怎么着
and guess what it does?
它算出了你的死亡时间
It actually estimates the date of your death!
啥 -我知道
What? - I know.
难以置信是吧 -等等
Unbelievable, isn't it? - What? Wait a second.
我知道这种网站 地球人都知道的好吗
I know about those! Everyone knows about those!
好吧 看来你以前算过
All right, so you've already done it.
说吧 你的死期是哪天
So, when's the big day?
不 我没做过这个问卷 为什么要做
No! I haven't done it! Why would I want to do it?
我将在2079年3月2号♥死去 -天呐
I get March 2nd 2079. - Oh, my God!
没错 我还能活70年
That's right, baby! I've got 70 more years!
莫斯 把那窗口关了
Okay, Moss, close that window!
我不想知道 -但结果已经出来了
I do not wanna know! - But I've written it all in now.
莫斯 我不想知道我的死期
Moss, I do not wanna know the date of my death.
关掉
Close it.
你好 IT部 重...
Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and...
后面那句我不想再说了
You know, I'm sick of saying that.
有何贵干
What do you want?
好的 一会儿就上去
Okay, yeah, someone will be up in a minute.
也不一定
Maybe.
你偷看了
You looked!
你知道了
You know!
你知道我的死期了
You know when I'm going to die!
没错
I do, yes.
我不是让你别看嘛 -我不小心瞄到了
I told you not to look! - I made a mistake.
什么时候
When is it?
你不会想知道的 -你不能瞒着我
You don't wanna know. - You can't say that to me now!
罗伊 我建议你忘记这件事
My advice, Roy, is to forget all about this.
啥意思 我还能活多久 20年
What, how long more they've given me, 20 years?
20年都不到
It's less than twenty?
我觉得他没有考虑闰年
You see, I don't think this is taking into account leap years.
结果有待商榷
So that could well be something to hang on to.
到底是什么时候 莫斯
What does it say, Moss?
上面是不是说我已经死了
Does it say I'm already dead?
不 那也太糟糕了 -谢天谢地
No, that would be terrible. - Thank God.
是星期四 -啥
It's Thursday. - What?
是星期四 -星期四
It's Thursday. - Thursday?
记住哦 闰年
Again, remember, leap years.
真的是星期四
It's Thursday!
3号♥ 星期四
Thursday the 3rd!
虽然那时候天还没黑
Although, not too late afternoon,
不过也给了你大半天
so that gives you most of the day.
啥 下午3点
What? 3 p.M.!
怎么可能这么精确 -就是说 骗人的
How could they be that specific? - Yeah, it's silly.
这种东西的准确性顶多只有79%
These things are, at best, 79% accurate.
谢谢你
Oh, good.
我不会再去做测试了
I would take no further notice of it.
就是 都是骗人的
Yeah, you're right, it's silly.
不管他了
I will take no further notice of it.
看起来 7楼的电脑
Apparently, there's something
全体瘫痪了 谁上去一下
wrong with all the computers on 7th. Who wants it?
你脸色真差 是不是生病了
You look terrible. Are you ill?
不清楚
I don't know.
这些蠢货 居然把防火墙关了
These idiots disabled the flipping firewall!
你们好 打扰一下
Yeah, hello, excuse me.
谢谢 能不能听我说两句
Thank you, some attention please.
我知道你们觉得无所谓
I know you don't think it's "Important"
不过我们安装反病毒软件
or "Cool" But there is a ruddy good reason
和防火墙是非常有必要的
why we put up anti-virus software and firewalls.
因为外面的世界很危险
It's because there are a lot of dangerous things out there.
天呐
Jesus!
不要这么激动好吗
You know, calm down.
别把防火墙关了就行
Just don't disable the firewalls.
73岁 很好 很好
Okay, 73', that's good, that's good.
妈 托尼叔叔多少岁死的
And mum, what age did Uncle Tony die?
32岁
32?
是因为车祸 太好了
It was a car accident? Brilliant!
不 我完全忘记了 好的
Okay, no, I completely forgot... Okay.
妈 我得挂了
Mum, I have to go.
太二了 某脑残把防火墙关了
Unbelievable, some brainiac disabled his firewall
导致7楼的电脑全部中毒
which means that all the computers on floor 7 are teeming with viruses.
还有 我刚才被迫
Plus, I've just had to walk
从楼梯上走下来
all the way down the mother fudging stairs
因为混♥蛋♥电梯又坏了
because the lift is broken, again.
天呐
Oh, my God.
怎么了 -天呐
What? - Oh, my God.
到底怎么了