善地

The Good Place S01E10

Part 3 Dec. 11, 2019, 8:32 p.m.

不行
Okay... no.
不能这样
We're not gonna do this.
我们不能为了一个男人而大打出手
We are not gonna be those women who fight over a guy
想方设法毁掉对方
and find any excuse to rip each other apart.
我不会为生气而道歉
I am not going to apologize for being angry.
你明知我的灵魂伴侣骗我
You knew that my soul mate was lying to me.
是我知道我很抱歉
Yes, I did, and I'm very sorry.
我们之间的友谊很别扭很复杂
Listen, you and I have a weird, complicated,
剪不断理还乱
forked-up friendship,
但情谊是真
but it's our friendship,
我很重视
and I care about it.
我们玩点什么吧
Let's do something fun.
此刻做什么能让你开心
What would make you feel happy, right now?
你家真漂亮迪尔德丽
You have a fine home, Deirdre...
我真喜欢你家的小屋
I absolutely adore your shares.
你说什么小屋啊
I don't know bugger all about a shares...
我一直当卫生间用呢
I been using this as a bloody toilet, I have.
这是什么电视剧来着
What's this show called, again?
《迪尔德丽与玛格丽特》
It's "Deirdre and Margaret."
BBC电视台都播了十六年了
It ran for 16 years on the BBC.
大概有三十集吧
They did nearly 30 episodes.
讲述了两个来自不同世界的女人
It's about two women from very different worlds
成为了好友跟我们有点像
who become friends, sort of like us.
迪尔德丽别这样这是价值连城的画作
Deirdre, no! That's priceless art!
还以为是水果呢像吧
I thought it was fruit, innit?
迪尔德丽
Deirdre.
里面那个蠢妞儿是我吧
I take it the moron is me?
也不是完全是啦
Well, it's not a direct parallel.
做完了你喜欢做的事该换我了
Okay, we did your thing. Now it's my turn.
你准备好加深我们之间的友谊了吗
Are you ready to take our bonding to the next level?
「真好」你回来了
Good, you're back.
我知道时间有限
Yeah, I, I know we're short on time,
但你得帮我解决一件私事
but I need your help with a personal dilemma.
是「冒牌埃莉诺」和「正牌埃莉诺」的事
This is about fake Eleanor and real Eleanor.
是谁才是我的灵魂伴侣
Yes, which person is my soul mate?
「正牌埃莉诺」这是官配
Real Eleanor, that's what the system determined.
-知道了 -当然
- Okay. - Of course,
系统出错「冒牌埃莉诺」才会误入「善地」
the system did screw up by letting fake Eleanor in.
说来很有意思
You know, it's interesting.
「冒牌埃莉诺」意外被选中
Fake Eleanor being selected accidentally
而你与她又培养出了感情
and then you bonding with her
可能已经改变了筛选模式
could have shifted the formula.
但就是她们俩其中一个吧
Right, it's one of those two people.
我也不知道
Well, I d... I don't know.
也系统这时候已经不靠谱了
I mean, the system might be so screwed up at this point that
两个埃莉诺都不是你的官配
maybe you don't belong to either Eleanor.
-你在感染我... -什么
- You is spreading... - What?
你举棋不定像病毒一样「感染」了我
Your indecisiveness is infecting me like a virus.
奇迪这可能至我们于险境啊
Chidi, this could send us down a very dangerous path.
如果做不了选择
If you can't make a choice,
「善地」有可能毁于一旦
this whole neighborhood could fall apart.
好了就快选完了
Okay, getting close here.
就是要考虑一下不同的汤会带来什么伦理后果
Just mulling the ethical ramifications of various soups.
还是老样子啊奇迪
Same old Chidi.
要不我稍后再来第五趟吧
I can come back for a fifth time.
行这样更好
Yeah, you know, maybe that's smart.
最近好吗乌左太久没见了啊
How are you? Uzo, it's been too long.
没错是太久了你知道
It has, it has. Look, as you know,
我和艾伦订婚了
Ellen and I are engaged.
咱俩又是一块长大我把你当亲兄弟
You're my oldest friend, and I love you like a brother,
所以我就不请当伴郎了
and that's why I'd like you to not be my best man.
-你说什么 -如果你来当伴郎
- Sorry? - Look, if you were my best man,
你就得去给我办单身派对
you'd have to plan the bachelor party,
还要想出致酒词
decide what to say in your toast,
解决婚宴当天出现的问题
handle problems that pop up the day of.
你肯定会崩溃的
It would drive you up the wall.
乌左这又不是在操场选队员
Well, Uzo, this isn't choosing soccer teams on a playground.
如果是要事我能够做决定
When something's important to me, I can make a decision.
你瞧请过来一下
Watch. Excuse me, excuse me.
我要明确地
I have decided I would like to
点一道南瓜汤
unequivocally order the pumpkin soup.
很好
Perfect.
感觉你想改一下
You kind of want to change your order.
没错我刚才脑子进水了
Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.
失陪一下洛索托洛索托
Excuse me, Risotto. Risotto?
尽管我很喜欢这样
As much as I'm enjoying this,
但我们不该想办法把你留下来吗
shouldn't we be working on your case to try and stay here?
老实说我能帮上什么忙呢
Honestly, how am I gonna help them?
他们智商比我高多了而接发呢
They are much smarter than me. Now, hair extensions?
才是我的绝活儿
This is where I shine.
你之前差一点就算倾国倾城了
You were already at almost-maximum hotness,
而此刻你就是撩人的棕长发公主
but now you look like a sexy, tan rapunzel.
我的梦啊
The dream.
你怎么学会编头发的啊
And how exactly did you learn how to do this?
我十四岁时为了找工作要打扮得成熟些
When I was 14, I had to make myself look older to get a job.
这些都是我曾用过的特别便宜
These were the ones I used, and they are real cheap.
你得离明火远一点
You're gonna want to stay away from open flames
还有别跟人在商场发生口角
and altercations at outlet malls.
我很抱歉没跟你说建宇的事
I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you about Jianyu
结果让你跟他凑合过了
and that you got saddled with him.
是很遗憾但...
Yes, that is regrettable, but...
我原谅你了
I forgive you.
也许你俩是灵魂伴侣呢
Maybe you two are soul mates.
我个喵啊
Holy shirt.
也许真是呢
Maybe we are.
听着是很扯但你想一下
I know it seems crazy, but... but think about it:
建宇够帅够二绝对是我的菜
Jianyu is a hot dummy, definitely my type.
我们都爱跳舞
We both love to dance,
都被勒令禁止乘坐市内公交寓地铁
we were both banned from public transit systems in our cities.
这就是答案了
I think this is the answer.
人们成对来「善地」
People come in pairs here,
如果系统将我们配对
and if the system paired us up,
那我就应该跟他待在一起留在「善地」
then maybe somehow i do belong here with him.
你们好
Hi, there.
我和杰森十分钟后就结婚了
Jason and I are getting married in ten minutes,
邀请你们去婚礼
and you're invited.
这些是你的灵魂伴侣
Here, we've got your soul mate options:
埃莉诺
Eleanor,
「正牌埃莉诺」
real Eleanor,
以及理论上的第三人
and a theoretical third person.
暂且称其为「草莓香芒」吧
Let's call her... Strawberry mango twist.
好闭上双眼
Okay, close your eyes.
想一下这三个女人
Think about each of the women.
睁开双眼
Open your eyes.
答案就是「正牌埃莉诺」
The answer is real Eleanor.
-你怎么知道 -我不知道但我说出一个人名时
- How do you know? - I don't, but the minute I said that,
你会本能感觉到对不对
you knew instinctively whether it felt right.
等下让我想一想
Well, hang on, let me think about that.
-不不 -因为...
- No, no. - Because it...
别再思考了奇迪行动吧
No more thinking, Chidi. Just do something.
犹豫不决已经让你生前很痛苦了
Indecision caused you so much agony in your life,
甚至让你断送了性命
right up to the very end.
我准备演讲词时不太顺利
I had a little trouble writing my speech.
我写了十一个版本
I wrote 11 different versions.
还有二十分钟婚礼就开始了
Wedding's in 20 minutes, buddy.
天呐每一篇都有55分钟那么长
Boy, I mean, these run about 55 minutes a piece.
我好热啊
I'm really hot.
空调是不是坏了
Is this air conditioner even working?
空调好用只是你自己崩溃了
Yes, it is. You're just having a literal meltdown.
你还没换好衣服
Also, you're not dressed yet,