善地

The Good Place S01E09

Part 3 Dec. 11, 2019, 8:32 p.m.

跟我讲了柏拉图苏格拉底伊曼努尔·康德
He taught me about Plato and Socrates, Immanuel Kant...
行了闭嘴吧
Yeah, cool, shut up.
不废话了你俩搞了没
Let's cut to the chase here... You two go to Poundtown?
搞了没就是你俩打炮了吗
Poundtown, bro. You two bang it out?
她喜欢「师生恋」吗你上了这个呆子吗
She hot for teach? Did you pork the dork?
说吧妹子说说淫♥荡♥的细节吧
C'mon, girl, dish me dem dirty deets.
我向你保证我们之间
I assure you, our relationship
就只是单纯的「师生关系」仅此而已
was "Teacher-student," Nothing more.
奇迪你不必跟我解释
Chidi, you don't have to explain anything to me.
我来「善地」之前的事都与我无关
Whatever happened before I arrived is none of my business.
我想转转这里其它地方
Hey, I'd love to see the rest of the neighborhood.
可以啊这里特别棒
Yes, it's... it's incredible.
有很棒的图书馆
there's an amazing library,
还有美丽的无食人鱼之湖
there's a beautiful, piranha-free lake.
带我到处看看吧
Well, please, show me everything.
可以走了吗埃莉诺
You ready, Eleanor?
我都看遍了你们去吧
I've seen it all already. You guys go ahead.
你更愿意和他待着吗
You'd rather be alone with him?
小心注意你的头妹子们
Fire in the hole... watch your heads, ladies.
我的脚趾甲会飞得到处都是
My dudes tend to boomerang around the room.
我不需要到处转转
Yeah, I mean, I don't need to walk around
聊什么诗词歌♥赋不用了
and nerd out about old books. I'm good.
好吧
Okay.
我们几个今晚打算去看《蜘蛛侠2》
A bunch of us are gonna go see "Spider-Man 2" tonight.
你要一起去吗
Do you want to come?
他们拍了第二部《蜘蛛侠》吗
They made a second "Spider-Man"?
续集有故事讲吗
What is there left to say?
行好吧算我一个
Sure, whatever, I'm in.
好我买♥♥八张票
Cool, okay, well, I'll get tickets for the eight of us,
你到时付我现金就可以了
and you can just pay me back in cash.
这样信♥用♥卡♥的积分都被你赚到了
So you can get all the points on your credit card,
而我们都成冤大头了吗
and the rest of us get screwed?
做梦吧
No way.
不是就是想在售罄之前买♥♥到票
No, it's just so we can all get tickets before they sell out.
要不你来买♥♥
Do you want to buy them?
让你们有机会不还钱
So you guys can never pay me back,
我损失八十块吗
and I'll be out like 80 bucks?
做梦吧我自己买♥♥票
Nice try. I'll buy my own ticket.
你们其他人想怎么都行
The rest of the group can do whatever they want.
她最后坐哪儿了啊
Where did she end up?
有积分呢姐妹儿我的积分
Bought it with points, baby. My points.
我得换个室友了
I think I need to find a new place to live.
别别
Don't...Don't...
好了
All right.
来点不
Want a bump?
不用了我不碰可♥卡♥因♥
No, thank you, I... I don't use cocaine.
不是可♥卡♥因♥ 傻妞儿我们吸的是「时间」
It's not cocaine, idiot. We're snorting time.
什么你们吸的是「时间概念」
Sorry...you're snorting the concept of time?
没错绝对能让你嗨起来
Yeah, it'll fork you up.
和尚兄你知道怎么开啤酒桶吗
Yo, monk dude, you know how to tap a keg?
唱K时间
Karaoke time!
丹娜亲你想唱什么
Dana, baby, what do you wanna do?
是墨索里尼演说还是梅尔·吉布森「《勇敢的心》」咆哮
Okay, Mussolini's speech? Othe Mel Gibson rant?
第二次世界大战元凶之一法♥西♥斯♥主义创始人
-这是经典 -经典
- That's a classic. - Classic...
-尼克松录音吧我的菜 -棒
- Let's do the Nixon Tapes... that's my jam! - Yeah!
「关于爱尔兰人你要记住他们很卑鄙
"What you always have to remember about the Irish is they get mean.
我认识的爱尔兰人一喝酒就变得很卑鄙」
Virtually every Irish I've known gets mean when he drinks."
迈克尔别让她们胡闹了
Michael, tell them to stop.
我已经说得很清楚了我不赞同
I think I made it pretty clear that I don't approve.
缺心眼跳舞啊
Hey, idiot. Dance.
没问题
You got it.
「美国犹太人也该意识到
"It's about damn time that the Jew in America realizes
第一身份是美国人其次才是犹太人」
he's an American first and a Jew second."
我把他烧着了
I lighted him on fire,
他就跟我绝交了
and he never spoke again.
我是没有「正牌埃莉诺」那么优秀
You know, maybe I'm not as great as Real Eleanor,
但我比过去的自己强多了
but I'm better than I used to be.
我是中上好人
I'm medium-good.
你们他喵的怎么就没有中间地带啊
Why haven't you forkers invented a medium place?
我知道你一直努力想当一个「更好的人」
Look, I know you've been trying to become a "better person,"
你不想被人识破
I mean, you didn't want to get caught.
我理解但我看了你的档案
I get it. But I read your file...
你不属于「善地」
You don't belong here.
她周末都在花时间反对斗狗一事
I mean, she spent her weekends breaking up dog fighting rings.
而你有次看到女交♥警♥给你开罚单
You once saw a meter maid writing you a ticket,
你像条凶狗一样把她吓跑了
and you barked like a dog till she ran away.
真心话你在「恶地」会更舒心
I mean, honestly, you'll be happier in the Bad Place.
别误会你会活得很悲惨
I mean, don't get me wrong, you'll be miserable.
我们会折磨你但你也会很舒心
We will torture you, but you'll also be happier
因为你不必为了适应环境
because you won't have to keep trying to
而假装去做别人
fit in somewhere you just don't belong.
好吧
A'ight.
我们走
Let's go.
慢着我得问一下我们俩有戏吗
Okay, hold on, I have to ask: is this thing gonna happen?
-来一炮 -才不要多恶心
- You and me? - Ew, no, gross.
好吧我总得问一下小美人
Okay, you know I had to ask, babe.
塔哈妮我很抱歉
Tahani, I'm so sorry.
我肯定会清理一切
I will obviously clean all of this up.
我不在意房♥间乱了迈克尔
I don't care about the house, Michael.
我气的是你在他们面前装孙子
I'm just upset that you let them walk all over you.
我也知道全宇宙中我最怕他们
I know... they're the only thing in the Universe that scares me.
我知道我得怎么做
I know what I have to do.
我得更委曲求全
I just have to be... more accommodating.
对他们有求必应满足他们一切需求
Offer them everything they want, give in to all of their demands,
他们就必须尊重我了
and then they'll have to respect me.
不你得为自己出头
No, you need to stand up for yourself.
就在马克·扎克伯格把爱德华多·萨维林撵走之前
I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told Mark Zuckerberg
脸书创始人曾与德华多·萨维林因股份而对簿公堂
我跟他也说了同样一番话
right before he ousted Eduardo Saverin.
你有头脑有能力
You are smart, you are capable,
是时候「解除好友」关系了
and the time has come to hit "Unfriend."
我还告诉马克去掉「网站」二字就留下「脸书」
I also told Mark to lose the "The". Just "Facebook."
我想出的主意
That was me.
头好疼
My head.
喝下吧
Here, drink this.
我怎么宿醉了
How am I hung over?
我还以为「善地」之中没有宿醉这种事
I thought there were no hangovers here.
「恶地」那帮人要求重启「宿醉」这一功能
Well, the Bad Place Crew requested the hangover filter be turned off.
他们喜欢这感觉
They like them.
迈克尔让我们一小时后
So, Michael said we're meeting at Tahani's place
去塔哈妮家里谈判
in an hour for a negotiation session.
我们一起去吗
We'll walk over together?
你不来也没事我自己可以
You don't have to come, man. I'm good.
跟「正牌埃莉诺」待着吧
Just hang out with Real Eleanor
为彼此起星群的名字
and name constellations after each other,
你们学霸之间愉快地玩耍吧
or whatever it is nerds do.
我能照顾好自己
I'm fine on my own.
埃莉诺就算家里来了客人
Yeah, Eleanor, just because we have a new guest in the house
我还是会像以前一样伴你左右
doesn't mean I'm not still gonna be there for you.
我们共同进退是一个团队
I'm in this. We're a team.
你在这里当临时工已经一年了
So you've been temping for us for a year now,
我们想给你转正
and we want to bring you aboard permanently.
你的加入会给团队增添色彩
We think you'd be a great addition to the team.
还是不要了
Yeah, no. I'm good.
你这是拒绝转正吗
You're turning it down?
我就是觉得跟你们不太搭
I just don't think I'm really one of you guys.
你们都很爱这里
You're all obsessed with this place, man.
你们喜欢在这里工作喜欢谈论这里的工作
You love working here and talking about working here,
像一群邪教♥徒♥ 总聚会
and you all hang out like some kind of cult.
我们时常聚餐因为大家是朋友
We hang out after work because we're friends.