善地

The Good Place S01E02

Part 2 Dec. 11, 2019, 8:31 p.m.

好了把名字放进帽子里
Okay, names in the hat.
看看谁负责开车不能喝酒
Time to pick a designated driver.
中招的是...
And the loser is...
贝特西
Betsy.
等等你从来没中过
Wait, you never get picked,
而且纸条都是你写的
and you're always the one who draws the name.
-让我看看 -没这必要
- Let me see that. - There's no need.
这里每个人都百分百相信我诚实又正直
Everyone here believes in my integrity 100%,
对吧各位
right, guys?
给我
Give it to me.
郑重声明
For the record,
出于原则我才这么做
I did that out of principle,
因为那上面绝对就是你的名字
because it absolutely had your name on it.
如果我检查剩下的纸条
If I check the other ones,
用排除法就能知道真♥相♥
I can figure it out by process of elimination.
重申
Again...
原则问题
Out of principle.
接纳当下吧贝特西
Let it wash over you, Betsy.
大写的正直和诚实
This is what integrity looks like.
好了各位我们开始吧
All right, everyone, let's get started.
混乱终于平息了
Things have settled down.
我们总算能继续迈向新生活了
So hopefully, we're off and running.
欢迎来到迎新第二日
Welcome to orientation, day two.
今天我们要学的
Now, today we're gonna start with something
是每个人都梦寐以求的
that everyone has always wanted to do.
飞翔
Flying.
既然大家都死了何不快「活」一把
Now that you're dead, let's live a little, right?
打扰一下迈克尔
Sorry... Michael?
我能说句话吗
If... if I might?
我只是觉得在之前的混乱中
I was just thinking, earlier today in all of the chaos,
街区遭到了大规模破坏
large swaths of this neighborhood were destroyed.
也许我们中一些人...
We thought perhaps some of us could...
愿意帮忙清理现场
volunteer to help clean up the debris.
这样也是增进大家感情的好办法
You know, it's quite a fun way to band together as a community,
对吗剑宇
isn't that right, Jianyu?
对了抱歉
Yeah, sorry.
你们中一些人可能还不知道
For those of you who don't know,
我的灵魂伴侣剑宇是佛教弟♥子♥
my soul mate, Jianyu here, is a Buddhist monk.
他恪守缄默法则至今
He took a vow of silence that he's still observing,
即便到了「善地」也不言不语
even here, in the Good Place.
真让人叹服
It's truly inspiring.
塔哈妮虽然清扫垃圾不是你的事
Well, Tahani, it's not really your job to clean up,
但你实在想做也无妨
but I suppose there's no harm if you really want to.
太好啦
Well, hurrah.
我们需要大概... 12名志愿者吧
We need about... 12 volunteers.
这些人竟然愿意放弃飞翔
I can't believe all these people are passing on flying
浪费一整天来捡垃圾
to pick up garbage all day.
捡垃圾愉快白♥痴♥们
Have fun, nerds.
反正我他喵的要像只鸟一样笑傲长空
I'll be soaring through the air like a forkin' bird.
我和埃莉诺很乐意帮忙
Eleanor and I would love to help.
太好啦
Hurrah-hurrah, yay.
大哥
Dude.
你不是想证明你不自私吗
You want to prove you're not selfish?
这是绝佳机会
Here's the perfect test.
你想做的趣事
There's something fun that you want to do,
和为公共利益而做的没劲之事
and then there's something less fun
同时摆在你面前
that people are doing for the common good.
你会选哪个
Which do you choose?
玩得开心
Have fun.
你好
Hey, up there,
飞翔好玩吗应该挺没意思的吧
having fun, or does it maybe suck, probably?
要我说这不叫好玩
Well, I wouldn't call it fun,
应该说是同时体验五千万次性高♥潮♥
I'd say it's like 50 million simultaneous orgasms,
甚至还要更爽
but better.
当捡垃圾志愿者感觉如何
How's volunteer garbage pickup?
-和飞一样爽 -太棒了
- About the same. - Great!
这让我想起在越南待过的日子
You know, this really reminds me of my time in Vietnam,
跟我教母戴安娜一起捡迫击炮弹
picking up mortar shells with my godmother, Diana.
她是个王妃还是什么的无所谓了
Doesn't really matter of what she's a princess of.
都不重要
It's not really important.
塔哈妮清理得怎样了
Tahani! How goes the cleaning?
非常顺利迈克尔
Swimmingly, Michael.
我不得不说
And I have to say
你构建的街区真是一个杰作啊
this neighborhood that you've built is truly a masterpiece,
我从未见过这么美的地方
the likes of which I've never seen.
我还去过约翰尼·德普私人鸟园呢
And I've been to Johnny Depp's private bird sanctuary.
谢谢你真贴心
Well, thank you. That's very kind of you to say.
但你言过其实了
But it's also dead wrong.
这个街区就是场灾难
This neighborhood is a disaster.
我肯定哪里出了错
See, I must have made a mistake somewhere.
才引起这一切的混乱
And it led to all this chaos,
现在我... 我真的害怕
and now I'm just... I'm just terrified
接下来还会出乱子
that it's gonna happen again.
我努力摆出一副笑脸...
I'm trying to put a good face on...
用这张我自己造的脸
well, this... this face that I've constructed for myself.
但是事实上
But the truth is,
我要愁死了
I... I'm just miserable.
我得走了
I have to go.
很感谢你们的志愿服务
Thank you so much for your service.
糟糕
No.
大人物都经不起打击
Powerful people do not handle failure well.
迈克尔可能会彻底崩溃
Michael could be heading for a total meltdown.
灵魂伴侣你想的和我一样吗
Soul mate, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
倒数三个数一起说
Should we say it at the same time?
来三二一
All right. One, two, three.
我们必须帮助迈克尔
We must help Michael.
真是狡猾
You sly devil.
你还真乐此不疲了
You're going to keep me on my toes, aren't you?
好了快我们走
All right, come on. Let's go.
冈纳安东尼奥
Hey, Gunnar! Hey, Antonio!
埃莉诺
Hey, Eleanor.
-是不是很好玩 -是的
- Isn't this great? - Yeah.
一想到「死后世界」
When I thought of the afterlife,
我脑海里就浮现出
I totally pictured being
一个无偿劳动又不会飞的清洁工
an unpaid, non-flying janitor.
我们也是
Us too!
你们太好玩了
You guys are so fun.
真是无休止地好玩
Just relentlessly fun.
我一直在想「他们什么时候才能不好玩」
I keep thinking, "When are they gonna stop being fun?"
答案是永远不能
And the answer is never.
无休无止
You're never gonna stop.
我这一整天都在无私奉献
Well, I have had a pretty full day of being unselfish.
还交了几个新朋友
I've made some new friends.
我负责的区域也都干净了
My area's almost garbage-free.
所以你会帮我留在「善地」吧
So you're gonna help me figure out how to stay, right?
这个问题很棘手
Well, that is a really tough question.
大多数伟大的哲学家们都会说
Most great philosophers would say
帮你没意义
helping you is pointless,
因为你没办法努力变成好人
that you can't try to be good,
尤其是你的初衷出于自私时
especially when your motivations are so obviously corrupt.
没错但那些哲学家们懂什么
Yeah, but what do most great philosophers know?
话说回来
On the other hand,
亚里斯多德认为一个人的道德品质
Aristotle thought that moral virtue is something
是可以主观改善的
that you could get better at.
他将其比作吹长笛
He... he compared it to playing the flute.
熟能生巧
The more you practice, the more you improve.
亚里士多德好样的说得真好
Aristotle! That's my boy, right there.
他最棒了
He was the best.
大多数人都认为他是最棒的
I mean, most people agree he was the best one.
看来你同意加入「拯救埃莉诺」计划了
So it sounds to me like you are on board the "Help Eleanor" train.