善地

The Good Place S01E05

Part 3 Dec. 11, 2019, 8:32 p.m.

Your public failure is our public failure.
你知道该怎么做吧
You know what has to be done.
我很开心地宣布
I'm very pleased to announce that
今日拍卖♥♥还有附加项
there has been an addition to today's docket.
大家都认识我姐卡米拉吧
I'm sure you all know my sister, Kamilah.
卡米拉
Yes. Kamilah.
卡米拉呢
Kamilah, of course,
她是牛津大学史上最年轻的毕业生
is the youngest person ever to graduate from Oxford University,
国际一流画家社会运动者打破旧习者
she's a world-class painter, social activist, iconoclast,
奥♥运♥会射箭冠军
Olympic gold medalist for archery,
专辑获「格莱美奖」后将其拍成记录片
a BAFTA Award-winner for her documentary
又获得了「英国电影电视艺术学院奖」
on her Grammy Award-winning album,
世界上最有才气的街头艺术家之一
还被选为「第二个班克西」
and the person voted "Most Likely to be Banksy."
我就不啰嗦了
So without further ado,
抢走我的一切吧
take it away from me!
口误了接走话筒吧卡米拉
Sorry, I mean take it away, Kamilah.
我要拍卖♥♥「跟我一同吃午餐」的机会
I am auctioning off a lunch date with me.
从三百万英镑起价
The bidding shall commence at 3 million pounds.
五百万
5 million!
太感谢你们了
Thank you guys so much.
给你们添麻烦了
Sorry for the imposition.
如果要说实话
Well, if you want to know the truth,
是我们主动过来跟你住的
we asked Michael if we could stay with you.
我们对你俩的关系充满好奇
We are obsessed with your relationship.
总有说不完的悄悄话如胶似漆地待在家中
Always whispering, locking yourself in the house all day.
因为生前的职业我还自诩真爱专家
I thought I was an expert in true love 'cause of my old job,
但我还得向你们学习啊
but I have a lot to learn from you guys.
你的职业是什么工作啊
Your job? What was your job?
我生前是婚姻咨♥询♥师
I was a marriage counselor.
可以说我专门写亲密关系之类的书
You could say I wrote the book on healthy relationships.
我确实写过
And I did!
书名是
It's called,
《如何一眼就能瞧出婚姻问题》
"How to Spot Problems in a Marriage from 100 Miles Away."
真棒
Cool.
-真好 -很不错
- Really cool. - Cool.
-特别好 -非常不错
- Really, really cool. - Cool, cool.
你呢巴特
And what about you, Bart?
我的职业就没这么有意思了
Well, my job wasn't nearly as interesting.
我创办了一家专门追查「盗用身份」的公♥司♥
I started a company that investigated identity theft.
分♥析♥肢体语言
Analyzing body language,
追踪抓获那些盗用别人身份的人
tracking and catching people pretending to be someone they're not.
很枯燥吧
It's.. snooze, am I right?
他们会识破我们
They're gonna catch us!
目前的处境岌岌可危啊
This is an extremely precarious situation!
我六神无主了埃莉诺
I am vexed, Eleanor!
一个婚姻咨♥询♥师和一个行走的测谎仪
A marriage counselor and a human lie detector
我也不想跟他们待在一起
isn't my first choice for company, either.
但他们有什么理由怀疑我们
But they have no reason to suspect us!
另外我觉得他们找我们
Plus, I think they may have actually just come here
是想玩换妻游戏
to, you know, swing.
要不就换吧
I say we do it.
这样一来他们就不会问东问西了
It'll get 'em to stop asking questions.
我才不要为了逃避问题
No, I am not going to have sex with someone
而跟别人滚床单呢
to get them to stop talking to me!
是吗咱俩真是大相径庭
Really? You and I are very different.
是啊我看出来了
Yeah, I noticed!
好吧大哥
You know what, man?
我来「善地」以后
I have spent every second in this place
一直担心被人识破
worried I was gonna get caught,
如果这时完蛋了
but if we go down right now,
就全都是你的错
that's on you, okay?
成天去教一个迷人讨喜的妹子
You spend all your time teaching a charming, awesome lady?
这给你「委屈」的
How sad for you.
认清现实吧大哥
Face it, dude.
遇上我就是你最大的福气
I'm the best thing that ever happened to you.
因为明说了奇迪
Because guess what, Chidi?
-你根本不上档次 -埃莉诺
- Ya basic! - Eleanor...
行了我知道
Yeah, I know, you want to do that thing
你想大吵一架
where we're arguing and fighting,
然后突然觉得很兴奋
but then suddenly it's like, "This is hot,"
开始亲热起来
and we start making out.
你想得美
Dream on!
行了直接来吧
Or, whatever, fine, let's just do it.
不埃莉诺你瞧
No, Eleanor, look.
你们听到了多少啊
So how much of that did you hear?
没听见
We couldn't hear you
但我在非语言交际方面很在行显然...
but I'm an expert in non-verbal communication, and it is clear...
你俩吵架了
you are in conflict.
我们不会品头论足
We're not judging you.
这几周出了很多事
This has been a tough couple of weeks.
裂洞一事大家都很焦虑
I'm sure the stress of the sinkhole
很多情侣都出现摩擦了
has caused lots of soul mate squabbles.
对就是这样
Yes, that's what it is.
小摩擦
A squabble.
-小摩擦啦 -小摩擦而已
- We're squabbling. - Squabble, squabble!
我能帮忙
I can help.
我会开启火眼金睛审视你们的关系
I'm gonna take your relationship and put it under a microscope
剖析一切不放过任何细节
and dig and poke and prod
直到你们重归于好
until you are back to soul mate harmony.
埃莉诺你先来...
Eleanor, why don't you...
她从不洗碗永远都是我来洗
She never does the dishes. I have to do them all the time.
我们就是想法不同而已
We just have different interests.
我喜欢享清闲
I like relaxing,
他却想让我去洗碗
he likes getting on my case about the dishes.
我感觉到压抑的怒火了
I'm getting a lot of repressed anger.
我刚来时就有所察觉现在确定了
I suspected this when I arrived, but now I'm sure.
你有事隐瞒
You are hiding something.
我能有什么...
What on earth would I be...
不不不是你
No, no, no, not you.
是他
Him.
「请待在室内」
"Please go back inside."
「外出不安全」
"It isn't safe to be out of your home."
「请待在室内」
"Please go back inside."
珍妮特能瞧出问题所在吗
Janet, could you see what's wrong?
全都有问题
Everything.
我的天呐
My goodness!
比我想象中还要严重啊
It's even worse than I thought.
塔哈妮你怎么来了
Tahani, what're you doing here?
别人觉得待在室内无所谓
Well, everyone else might be okay staying inside,
而我却想来帮忙
but I wanted to help.
所以我给你们带了些点心
So I've brought some cheer and sustenance
给你们鼓劲儿
to raise your spirits.
我做了甜甜圈「洞」Look, I made donut holes.
懂梗在哪里吗「甜甜洞」
Do you get it? "Donut holes"?
裂洞
Sinkhole.
-不好笑吗 -嗯很不合时宜
- Funny, no? - No, too soon.
玩笑开得早了九天呢
By exactly nine days.
塔哈妮裂洞很危险
Tahani, this sinkhole is incredibly dangerous.
如果人类靠近
If a human gets too close to it,
会产生严重的副作用
there could be disastrous side effects.
我这是咋了啊
What's... what's happening to me?
这就是副作用之一
That's one of the side effects.
珍妮特赶紧敲晕她不然就晚了
Janet, knock her out while we still have time.
敲晕我什么意...
Knock me out? What does that...
各位真没什么事
Guys, really, it's no big deal.
「没什么事」的言外之意
"It's not a big deal" is nearly always code
永远是「出问题了」
for "something is wrong."
瞧啊我之前就这么说的
Boom! That's what I said.
姐这么有天赋该去当婚姻咨♥询♥师
I should've been a marriage counselor.
好了奇迪讲出来吧
Okay, Chidi, out with it.
你跟灵魂伴侣之间有什么不满