善地

The Good Place S01E06

Part 3 Dec. 11, 2019, 8:32 p.m.

要不...
Or what if...
珍妮特给塔哈妮按♥摩♥时
while Janet messages Tahani,
我给建宇按♥摩♥
I massage Jianyu?
亲爱的建宇我们谈谈艺术吧
Jianyu, darling, let's discuss the arts.
我最欣赏印象派画家了
I adore the impressionists.
你最爱的画家「艺人」是谁呀
Who's your favorite artist?
「嘻哈斗牛犬」很有影响力...
I mean, Pitbull changed the game...
饶舌歌♥手
抱歉就是按♥摩♥下常被忽视的下颌骨
Sorry, just working the oft-neglected mandible area.
天呐
Man!
我都没想要这玩意儿
I didn't even want that thing.
我为什还想要抓到
Why am I trying to win it?
因为这机器标明这是奖品
Because the machine says it's a prize.
我得了几张游戏券六张
How many tickets do I get? Six?
-这么少吗 -瞧我的
- Is that all? - Well, watch this.
- 可以这样吗 - 不可以
- Is that allowed? Not really.
但这是古老的传统
But it is a time-honored tradition.
不用说了懂了懂了
Say no more. I got it. I got it.
知道吗
You know something?
尽管我一直想很人类待在一起
As much as I've always wanted to be around humans,
我觉得我忽略了人类最妙不可言的部分
I think I've missed a big part of what makes them wonderful.
有时候你们就只想着怎么找乐子
Sometimes all you guys think about is how you can have the most fun.
没错
Exactly!
这正是我的人生标语
That was practically my mantra.
你好啊小美人
What's up, dong bait?
放下你手中的事
Drop everything you're doing.
蕾哈娜去维加斯公演了
Rihanna is performing in Vegas.
我有票我们来自驾游吧
I got tickets. We are road-tripping.
不行啊
I can't!
我答应别人要再看一天家
I promised I'd house-sit one more day,
还要喂这条破狗
and I have to feed this stupid dog.
不好意思这条狗会像个大爷在游艇上裸体抽雪茄吗
I'm sorry, does this dog smoke blunts topless on a yacht like a boss?
-因为蕾蕾才会哦 -说得好有道理
- 'Cause that's how ri-ri do. - That's a very good point.
这可是蕾哈娜在维加斯演出的前排座啊
This is floor seats in Vegas for Rihanna.
酒水全场免费
The booze is free there.
还要继续说服你吗
Do I really need to keep going?
这是今晚的晚餐这是明早的早饭
Okay, this is dinner tonight, breakfast tomorrow...
想到了
I have an idea.
这是为了以防万一
This is in case of emergency.
不到紧急情况绝不能吃
Do not eat this unless it's an emergency.
我可以当妈了
I'm ready to be a mom.
这些面膜总是涂不上
I'm having trouble getting this mask to stick.
以为我的毛孔太小了
Yes, it's 'cause my pores are just so small.
我的皮肤上什么都沾不上
There's no way anything could ever adhere to my skin.
真是一种诅咒啊
It's a curse, really.
建宇
Jianyu?
你的毛孔什么样啊
What are your pores like?
珍妮特能带我去桑拿房♥吗
Janet, can you show me to the sauna, please?
她费尽心思跟你搭话呢
Dude, she's trying so hard,
而你就像个木头人
and you're giving her nothing!
随便选个你了解她的事
Just pick a fact that you know about her
混过去就行了
and just muddle through.
她说她喜欢印象派画作
She said she likes impressionist paintings.
印象派画作
Impressionist paintings?
行了不用再说了
Okay, say no more.
不不我觉得必须得再提点你一下啊
No, no, no, I definitely feel like I need to say more.
建...
Jia...
你觉得我今天帮到你了吗
So would you say I helped you today?
帮了大忙了
So much.
我玩得很开心没去想自己的麻烦
I had fun, I didn't think about my problems,
我还赢得了这个丑丑的小黄人
and I won this ugly yellow toddler,
这真是我见过最萌系的东西之一了
which is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.
太谢谢你了
Thank you so much.
好了我们明天再见吧朋友
All right, I'll see you tomorrow, friend.
你确定你现在想待在这里吗
You sure this is where you want to be right now?
「情侣专属」咖啡馆
At the tea for two couples cafe?
没必要逃避奇迪
There's no use avoiding it, Chidi.
我孤身一人
I'm alone.
我和建宇没有任何共同语言
Jianyu and I have nothing in common.
我就是想要一个灵魂伴侣
I just want a soul mate.
一个能与我共享激♥情♥的人
Someone I can share my passions with,
一个能够畅谈窦加画笔下那些栩栩如生的人物
someone who I can talk to about the ethereal colors of a Degas.
我喜欢窦加「印象派画家」I love Degas.
我小时候学过画画
I took painting lessons as a kid,
窦加一直是我的灵感源泉
and Degas was always my inspiration.
那你也跟我一样喜欢法国吗
And do you like France as much as I do?
他们奴役了我们国家三百年
Well, they enslaved my country for 300 years.
所以不喜欢
So no.
- 但法国的博物馆很杰出 - 是的
- But they have great museums. - Yes.
欢迎两位光临
Welcome to my cafe, you two.
我们推出了特♥价♥情侣松饼
We have a special on soul mate Muffins.
情侣免费
Two for the price of zero.
都是免费
Everything is free.
不我们不是伴侣只是...
We're not soul mates. We're just...
灵魂友人
Soul friends.
好朋友
Hey, buddy.
我今天准备了更好玩的节目
I have all new fun stuff for us to do today.
埃莉诺我有个重大消息
Eleanor, I have huge news.
不干活真有效果了
Not working actually worked.
你说啥
It did what now?
我们玩过一天后
After our day off,
我头脑清醒了
with a completely clear head,
我明白了人类如此有趣的原因之一
I realized part of what makes humans so fun
就是其不可预测性
is that they're unpredictable.
我们正经历的混乱
The chaos we've been experiencing
正是居民不可预知的行为而导致
is exactly what would happen if a resident behaved unpredictably.
街区的问题...
The problem in our neighborhood...
不是石头或是物品
It's not a rock or an object.
而是其中的人类
It's one of the people.
我们得庆祝一下
We need to celebrate!
好了
I know, okay...
回形针淋浴喽
Paper clip shower!
我们是要找一个男人
So do you think we're looking for a man,
还是找两个男人啊
or do you think we're looking for two men?
不一定
Not sure.
我们对这个人的信息一无所知
We don't know anything about this person.
他或她知道
I mean, does he or she even know
自己引发出了这些问题吗
that they caused all these problems?
不可能
No, that can't be.
什么样的禽兽会搞出这么大乱子
I mean, what kind of monster would wreak havoc
还能不出一声啊
and then say nothing?
当时天降垃圾
So this is the main place where
就是从这里开始的
the garbage fell from the sky.
-珍妮特 -你好
- Janet. - Hi there.
列出迎新时
I need a list of everyone
所有在场清理垃圾的人
that was here on garbage duty during orientation.
埃莉诺犯人就在这张短短的名单上
Eleanor, our criminal is on this very short list.
那天还是飞行日
People were flying that day too.
我会把飞过这里的人都加上
I'll add everybody who flew overhead.
埃莉诺犯人的名单加长了
Eleanor, our criminal is on this much longer list.
兄弟你来了
Hey, homey.
谢谢你的建议
Thanks for your advice.
我为塔哈妮准备了最棒的礼物
I'm about to give Tahani the best gift ever.
瞧瞧
Check it.
这是啥
What?
她喜欢印象派画作「模仿演员」对吧
She likes impressionist paintings, right?
我找了一副最牛叉的模仿演员画作
I got her a painting of the best impressionist of all time,
弗兰克·卡利恩多「以模仿秀著称」Frank Caliendo.
他什么都能模仿胖版阿尔·帕西诺和杰里·宋飞
He can do it all... fat Al Pacino, fat Jerry Seinfeld,
正常版约翰·麦登
Regular John Madden.
「跟我的小伙伴打个招呼吧」
"Say hello to my little friend."
「别闹了」