康纳一家（2018）

Hey, D.J. What are you doing here?
嘿 DJ 你在这儿干嘛呢
Geena sent me over 'cause she doesn't want
吉娜要我过来的 因为她不想让
her or Mary to get sick.
她或者玛丽生病
I guess she figured whatever germs are living in this couch
我觉得她认为不管这这张沙发里面住着什么
would kill the intruders.
细菌都能杀死入侵者
You're in luck, Deej.
那你走运了DJ
The unlabeled can that was in the pantry since we were kids?
那个自从我们小时候就在食品贮藏室里的没有标签的罐头
Chicken soup.
是鸡汤
Tastes okay.
尝起来还行
Yeah, I figured. The can was barely swollen.
可不是嘛 那罐头基本上没有鼓起来
Hey. Hey.
嘿
Oh, don't go near D.J.
离DJ远点
He's sick, and I've used up all my nurturing on him,
他生病了 所有的营养品我都给他了
so if you guys get sick, I'm just gonna yell at you.
所以如果你们生病了 我就吵吵你们
Sorry, Uncle D.J. I can't get sick, anyway.
抱歉了 DJ叔叔 我不能生病 回见
I have a test tomorrow.
我明天要考试
I do, too,
我也有测试
so if you want to cough on my scarf, please do.
所以如果你要在我的围巾上咳嗽 可以的
Thank you.
谢谢你
So...where's Dan?
丹呢
Mom wants some shelves put in
妈妈想要在她的床头上按几个架子
above her bed for her bowling trophies.
放保龄球奖杯
Why can't you do it?
你为什么不能去安装
'Cause if it falls, I'm the one with the obvious motive.
因为架子要是倒了 我最有嫌疑
Dad's covering my vending-machine route today.
老爸今天替我给自助售货机送货
I hope he can handle it. It's a very complicated job.
希望他能行 那个活儿特别复杂
Isn't it just like you open a glass door,
不就是打开玻璃门
and you replace the chips and the candy?
然后你把薯片和糖果换一遍吗
Yeah, and space travel is just lighting a rocket
是啊 太空旅行还就是发射火箭
and landing on the moon.
然后落在月球上呢
Did you just equate space travel
你把太空旅行和
with servicing a vending machine?
自动售货机装货划等号♥了吗
Oh, Dan. My God.
哦 丹 天啊
What happened?
发生了什么
A vending machine fell over on me.
自助售货机压我身上了
I knew it. Are you okay?
我就知道 你没事吧
Again, a vending machine fell on me.
我再说一遍 自助售货机压我身上了
How? They're bolted to the wall.
怎么会 那不都钉在墙上了吗
This one wasn't.
这个就没有
Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure!
你确定吗 我很确定
I had plenty of time to stare at the wall
售卖♥♥机压我身上的时候
while it was crushing me.
我就盯着墙来着
Well, how bad is it?
伤的严重吗
I had to spend four hours in the emergency.
我在急诊室里呆了四个小时
Nobody has insurance now,
现在谁都没有医疗保险
so they use it like a doctor's office.
所以他们就像医生办公室一样用急诊室
It's a no-win situation
这谁都没好处啊
because the emergency has to take you,
因为急诊室必须给你治疗
but it costs a fortune.
但是那很贵
Oh, I don't know. It was only $6,000.
我可说不好 就六千美元而已
If I'd have had my other pants on, I'd have paid it right then.
我要是穿着那条裤子 我就能付上钱
$6,000?
6000块啊
I thought Medicare covered like 80%.
医保不是能报销百分之八十吗
They did, but they made me take an MRI,
确实啊 然后他们逼我做核磁共振
a blood test, an I.V.,
验血 打点滴
a bone guy, a brain guy.
一个骨科的 一个脑科的
That's the co-pay.
这是所有的费用
We can't afford this, and it's the company's fault.
我们消费不起啊 这是公♥司♥的错
You know what? They better pay or we're gonna have to sue.
你知道吗 他们最好给钱 否则我们就要起诉了
Wait. Uh, you can't sue the company I work for.
等会儿 你不能起诉我的公♥司♥
Eat your old soup and be quiet.
和你的老汤给我闭嘴
Relax, Deej. I'm not suing anybody.
放松DJ 我谁也不起诉
I'm sure the company will cover my expenses.
我很确定公♥司♥能够支付我的花销
Oh, don't be naive, Dan.
别太天真了 丹
Those vending-machine companies --
那些自助售卖♥♥机公♥司♥
they'll nickle and dime ya.
他们会克扣死你（每枚硬币）
Hey, hey!
嘿
I didn't even mean to do that.
这梗就这么来了
Hey, check out my updated website.
嘿 看看我更新的网站
I'm using icons to subliminally suggest
我用图标下意识地暗示
that people use my services.
用我的服务的人
So, you see, the drum majorette and the sun?
看没看到鼓乐队和太阳
That implies I can lead you to a life
这就暗示着我可以
where nobody rains on your parade!
让你们过上没人敢烦你的生活
Yeah, yeah. That's a huge stretch.
那可真的是棒棒的
You want to hear about my day?
你想听听我的一天吗
I don't care. I do.
我不管了 我想听
The owner told me I have to stop
老板说我不能再跟
flirting with the other employees.
其他员工调情了
Well, to be fair, you did have sex with two of them.
说实话 你倒真是跟其中两个人上♥床♥了
Yeah, he lead with that.
是啊 他一开始就是这么说的
Did he single you out?
他针对你说的吗
No. He told everyone there's gonna be zero tolerance
没有 他跟所有人说对于员工之间的亲近
for fraternizing amongst the employees,
将实行零容忍♥政策
and he's making us all take boundary-awareness training.
他比我们上边界意识训练
Well, that's not the worst thing for you.
那也不太糟糕嘛
It's stupid.
太愚蠢了
Work is where most people meet.
人们在工作的时候见面
And meeting people at work is perfect
在工作的时候遇到其他人很完美
because you know they have jobs.
因为你知道他们有工作
Um, let me talk to you not as your Aunt Jackie,
我不是以你的杰姬姑妈跟你说话
but as Lanford's leading certified life coach.
而是兰福德优秀的认证生活导师
Um, maybe you're flirting too much in general.
也许你总体来说调情太过了
For instance, the guy at the Rite Aid.
比如说那个来爱德公♥司♥的人
Paul?
宝
It's just a little game we play.
我们那是开玩笑呢
He asked you to marry him,
他对你求婚
and you haven't said no yet.
你还没拒绝呢
That's the game.
那就是游戏啊
Okay, well, at least let me help you
至少让我帮助你
get your boundary-awareness certificate.
拿到你的边界意识证书
I'm fully accredited. See?
我完全有资历啊
A wise, old owl is saying it.
一个睿智的老猫头鹰说的
I'm sorry to hear you hurt yourself, Mr. Conner.
很抱歉听说你伤到了自己 康纳先生
Please call me Dan. Okay, Dan.
请叫我丹 好的 丹
Um, before we start, how about a snack?
在我们开始前 吃点小吃好吗
Huh? "Snack time's all the time."
每一刻都是小吃时刻
That's our slogan.
这就是我们的宣传标语
Oh. I thought it'd be something more like,
我以为是
"We crush you with our vending machines."
我们要用自动售货机压死你
Anyway, we have cheese puffs, mini pretzels,
不管怎么说 我们有奶酪泡芙 迷你椒盐卷饼
and we have cheese and crackers.
奶酪和饼干
You know that little, red, plastic paddle
你知道那个奶酪饼干包装里面的
in the cheese-and-cracker packet?
小红塑料铲勺吗
That was us.
那就是我们啊
I don't want to take up a lot of your time.
我不想占用你太长时间
I'm just asking to get my medical bills covered
我就让你把我的医药账单支付了
because your machine should have been bolted to that wall,
因为你的机器应该钉在墙上的
and I'll take some cheese puffs for later.
我再拿点奶酪泡芙晚点吃
Well, it's not that simple.
事情并不是那么简单
See, first of all, you're not an authorized technician.
首先 你不是授权技师
This, uh, never would have happened
你如果经过培训的话
had you been trained for the job.
这跟本就不会发生
It fell on him.
售货机砸他身上了
Are you saying if my dad was trained
你是说我老爸的培训能够
that gravity would have behaved differently?
让重力不一样吗
My company has a heart,
我们公♥司♥很大度
and I have been authorized to...
我有权力
offer to pay half your medical bills.
支付你账单的百分之五十
Half? Are you kidding me?
百分之五十 你开玩笑呢吗