康纳一家（2018）

Hey, this is a good box.
这一盒不错啊
We got a bloody foot on a hook...
有一只被钩住的血淋淋的脚
... and a dissected alien...
一个被解剖的外星人
... and some tax returns.
还有些纳税申报单
The IRS believes we have a home office.
国税局觉得我们有一个家庭办公室
Oh, my God! You guys are not gonna believe it!
天哪 你们一定不敢相信
I passed my driving test!
我驾照考过了
Apparently, it's "pass everyone" day.
很明显 今天是“谁都能过日”
Come on. I'm not that bad a driver.
拜托 我的驾驶技术没那么差
I let you drive home,
我让你开回家
and you made a garbage truck swerve.
结果你让垃圾车被迫转向了
You don't see something that big
不是每天都能见到
up on two wheels every day.
两个轮子上有这么大坨东西的
It's like he was stopping at every house.
他似乎每家都停一下
That's what they do!
对啊 那你还这样
And then, to finish up,
还没说完
you dragged a traffic cone most of the way home.
你在回来的路上车后面都拖了个交通锥
Luckily, that kid's skateboard broke it loose.
幸亏那孩子的滑板把它撞下来了
I need a drink.
我要来杯喝的
Becky, where do you keep the hard stuff?
贝基 你把烈酒都藏哪了
In Becky.
贝基都喝了
So, can I use Grandma's old car now?
那我现在能用祖母的旧车了吗
Yeah.
可以
But not to drive.
但不是用来开
You can sit in it and play the radio
你能坐在车里 听着音乐
and go, "Vroom, vroom!"
然后嘴里喊着“轰 轰”（引擎声）
Your imagination is a road to anywhere.
你的想象力能通往任何地方
Well, I really do need the job.
我真的很需要这工作
And, boy, do I love housecleaning.
而且我爱打扫卫生啊
It's topless?
要赤♥裸♥上身
Well, that explains the $40 an hour.
那解释了为什么一小时能有40美元
$40 an hour? Do they take men?
一小时40美元 他们要男的吗
'Cause I'll show off the girls for that.
因为我要在女孩们面前炫耀肌肉
Um, I'm gonna have to pass.
那就算了
But I will give your number to my sister.
但我会把你电♥话♥给我妹妹的
Thank you.
谢谢
All right, so, since I've got you guys here together,
正好你们都在这
I want to show you my costume.
我给你们看看我的戏服
Disemboweled cheerleader.
内脏外露的拉拉队长
Ohhh! Look at you, all gory and sexy.
看看你 又血腥又性感
Uh, I'm bringing a friend to the party,
我要带个朋友来派对
and it looks like it's starting to be a thing,
看起来似乎有戏
so I wanted to show off a little leg,
我想露出点腿
a little intestine.
露出点肠子
Who's the lucky guy?
那个幸运的家伙是谁
His name's Peter.
他叫彼得
Oh! Peter!
彼得
I want your opinion. I do not want you teasing him.
我想要你们的意见 但不想要你们调侃他
This family has a history of chasing off
这个家族曾有赶跑了
all the unstable men that I bring into my life,
所有被我带进生活里的渣男的历史
but Peter's different.
但彼得不一样
Oh! Peter!
哦 彼得
He's different!
他不一样
I'm serious... no teasing.
我是认真的 别调侃了
Don't worry. We'll be good.
别担心 我们知道的
Yeah, you haven't dated anyone in, like, forever.
你好像永远都没和谁约会过了
We're not gonna mess with whatever straggling animal
不管你从兽群后面抓了什么走失的动物
you've picked off the back of the herd.
我们都不会乱来的
"The Conners" is recorded
《康纳一家》是在
in front of a live studio audience.
现场演播室的观众面前录制的
All right, everybody! Get in here!
好了 大家 进来吧
We got to get this photo in by 9:00.
我们得在9点前把这照片拍好
Napoleon Blown-Apart is 'ere...
被炸飞的拿破仑碎片在此
... at your service.
听候吩咐
So, what do we get if we win this Instagram thing?
要是这次照片墙获胜了 我们能有什么好处
The scariest family gets a case of beer
最恐怖的一家人会得到一箱啤酒
and a 6-foot everything sub sandwich
还有杰克研究熟食店提供的
from Jack's Liquor & Deli.
6英尺长的全料潜水艇三文治
Becky, um...
贝基
not sure what's going on here, but I love it!
不太清楚你这是什么 但我喜欢
Sharknade... O'Conner.
鲨卷风 奥康娜
I nee... I need more than that.
再给点提示
Sinéad O'Connor and "Sharknado."
希妮德·奥康娜（歌♥手） 还有鲨卷风（电影）
Well, the important thing is you had fun.
重点是你玩的开心就好
Scary J. Blige, you're in the front.
可怕的简·布莱姬（美国歌♥手） 你在前面
Show your fangs, sweetheart.
把你的尖牙露出来 亲爱的
I dropped them on the floor.
我把尖牙掉在地板上了
Give me your fangs, sweetheart.
把你的尖牙给我 亲爱的
Big game hunter, you're behind the couch.
大游戏猎人 你在沙发后面
Lizzie Boredom...
莉齐·无聊妹
sitting on the arm of the couch,
坐到沙发扶手上
staring at your phone.
盯着你的手♥机♥
Really sell the boredom now.
现在真的可以摆出无聊的表情了
All right.
好的
Why don't you tell me about your day?
你为什么不和我说说你今天过得怎样
Why aren't you in costume?
你怎么没有变装
Oh, I can't. I got a job interview at McNasty's.
我不行 我在麦克脏脏有个工作面试
That place where all the waiters are rude to you?
那个所有服务员都很粗鲁的地方吗
You are perfect for that.
你去真是完美
Mom!
妈
I just texted a picture
我刚给乔伊发了一张
of my Fortnite costume to Joey.
堡垒之夜服装的照片
He told me that since it's based on a violent video game,
他说因为那是基于一个暴♥力♥电子游戏的角色
they're not gonna let me into the school carnival!
他们不会让我参加学校的狂欢会
Uh, okay, I'm sorry, honey. I have to run.
抱歉 亲爱的 我得走了
I promise you I will take care of this
我保证我一回家
as soon as I get home.
就会处理这事的
No! This is an emergency!
不 这事很急
They banned a whole bunch of costumes.
他们禁了很多服装
You were supposed to get an e-mail.
你应该收到邮件的
A-All right. Hold on.
好吧 等会
Oh. Damn it. Here it is.
该死 在这
It was important. Don't you check your e-mails?
这很重要 你都不看邮件的吗
I-I missed it.
我漏看了
It was hiding between "Get in Shape Today"
它藏在“今天保持身材”
and "Your Breakfast May Be Killing You."
和“你的早餐可能会害死你”这两条之间
Well, this is stupid.
这可真蠢
What kind of costumes are they banning?
他们禁了哪些服装
It says "No costumes
上面说不能穿
that perpetuate negative ethnic stereotypes
带有种族歧视的服装
or are scary, gory, or anything that's saddening."
或是恐怖 血腥 或让人悲伤的服装
Our whole family is saddening.
这整个家就是个悲剧
Does that mean we can't go out anymore?
意思是我们都不能出门了吗
It's Halloween for God's sake!
看在上帝的份上 这是万圣节
24 hours without laws or rules!
24小时没有法律和规则
That's the "Purge" movies, Dad.
老爸 那是“人类清除计划”
Mom, this isn't fair.
妈 这不公平
All right, well, don't worry. It's gonna be fine.
好了 别担心 会没事的
We still have two days to come up with new costumes.
我们还有2天时间来设计新服装
None of us want to offend anybody, right?
我们都不想得罪谁 对吧
It just has to be something other than...
一定还有别的服装的 除了
a bandito, a geisha, zombie, ninja...
强盗 艺伎 僵尸 忍♥者
Who's offended by a ninja costume?
忍♥者服装又得罪谁了
I've lived in Lanford my whole life
我在兰福德住了一辈子
and have yet to run into a ninja.
还没遇到过忍♥者
Oh, they're out there.
是有忍♥者的
And by the time you do see them...
等你看到他们的时候
pfft... it's too late.
噗（苦无飞来） 就太晚了
All right, uh, I got to go.
好了 我得走了
Where are my damn keys?
我的钥匙去哪了