康纳一家（2018）

康纳一家
第三季 第一集
站住 别动
Hold it right there!
警长 我听说你的测温枪枪法很快
Sheriff, I hear you're pretty fast with that there thermometer gun.
但终有一日 会有人发明比这更快的东西
But someday, somebody's gonna come along what's gonna be faster.
你每天都这么说
You say that every day,
但我仍然不知道这句话是什么意思
and I still don't know what it means.
别动
Don't move!
好了 体温正常 你通过了第一轮测试
Okay, it's normal. You passed the first test.
你有没有咳嗽 打喷嚏 或拉肚子
Are you coughing, sneezing, or experiencing diarrhea?
完全按照这个顺序吗 没有
Exactly in that order? No.
让开 否则小命不保
Move it or lose it.
哈莉丝
Harris.
你占了我方便拿啤酒的座位
You're in my easy-to-reach-a-beer spot.
抱歉 只剩这张凳子
Sorry. Last chair.
叫那个小疯子别再逼我们隔开两米吃饭
Tell little psycho boy to stop making us eat six feet apart,
那你就算坐在啤酒上我也没意见
and you could sit on the beer if you want.
糟了 老妈 你37.2℃
Uh-oh. Mom, you're 99.
你能闻到这个吗
Can you smell this?
我不想闻它
I-I don't want to smell it.
我得吃这猪食已经够惨了
It's bad enough I have to eat it.
问一下
Excuse me!
有没有人想主动拉开社交距离
Does anyone want to socially distance their asses
好让我能回屋里
so I can come back in the room?
如果没有 能不能再给我一份土豆泥
If not, can I please have another serving of mashed potatoes?
谢啦
Thank you!
该死的
Damn it!
别担心 我会吃掉的
Oh, don't worry! I'll eat it!
如此美味 怎么能浪费
Too good to go to waste.
这场全球性流行病最大的好处
You know, the best part about this damn pandemic
就是你来我们家 做饭给我们吃
is having you in our bubble cooking for us.
这是最大的好处吗
That's the best thing?
你知道我什么意思
You know what I mean.
贝琪 我的位子让给你
Becky, take my spot.
这令人作呕的画面让我无法下咽
I can't eat and watch that.
归我了
Dibs!
老爸 你收到银行的消息了吗
So, Dad, have you heard anything from the bank?
他们不能在新冠期间收走我们的房♥子吧
I mean, they can't take our house during COVID, can they?
他们忙着收回其他房♥子
They're so busy repossessing other houses,
也许会忘了我们这栋
maybe they'll forget about us.
是啊 他们可以选择
Yeah! They have their pick.
"嘿 我们是该收回远在鳕鱼角的四卧房♥子
Hey, should we grab that four-bedroom Cape Cod
还是附近烟草路那栋后院有鸡舍的房♥子"
or Tobacco Road over there with the chicken coop out back?
马克在吗
Is Mark here?
我看见你骑自行车来的 出示检测结果
I saw you ride up on your bike. Show me your test.
在这儿呢 看见没 阴性
Here. See? Negative!
那是上周做的检测
That's last week's test.
你够了
Oh, for pity's sake.
我走就是了
I'll just leave.
我进来了
I'm in!
你给数十人送过餐
You delivered food to dozens of people.
你必须离开
You have to go!
我吃的是消毒液 拉的是杀菌剂
I eat disinfectant, and I crap sanitizer.
尽管使出大招 否则别挡老娘的道 小屁孩
Do your worst - or get out of my way, junior.
那是什么
What's that?
托尼鹰嘴豆饼餐厅关门了
Tony's Falafels closed,
所以他在停车场贱卖♥♥存货
so he had an inventory sale in his parking lot.
有鹰嘴豆泥 橄榄 鹰嘴豆 葡萄叶
Hummus, olives, chickpeas, grape leaves.
听起来像是动物吃的东西变成了人类食物
Sounds like what animals eat to become food.
老天 餐厅纷纷倒闭啊
Man, restaurants are dropping like flies.
我绝不会让午餐盒餐厅出事的
I'm not letting anything happen to The Lunch Box.
我放弃过太多职业
I've bailed on too many careers.
我当过警♥察♥ 也当过货车司机
I was a cop, I was a trucker.
我中枪了 所以辞职
I got shot, I quit.
开车途中睡着了 所以也辞了
Fell asleep at the wheel, I quit.
顺便说下 我是当警♥察♥时开车睡着的
And by the way, I fell asleep at the wheel as a cop,
当货车司机时中的枪
and I got shot as a trucker.
我的圣母娘娘啊
Oh, my stars and garters!
威尔曼塑料工厂准备重新开业 要招200人
Wellman Plastics is reopening, hiring 200 people!
那不就是你和罗珊妮以前工作的地方吗 杰姬
Isn't that where you and Roseanne used to work, Jackie?
是的
Yep.
瞧啊 上面说他们要补缺
Look, it says they're making up for
中国塑料制品出口放缓造成的不足
the plastics slowdown out of China.
完蛋了吧 中国
Game over, China!
我还记得以前你们上班时我去找你们
I remember visiting you guys at work
看着你们机械地反复干着同样的活儿
and watching you robotically doing the same job over and over
心里不禁想道 "天呐 当大人一定很凄惨"
and thinking, "Wow. It must really suck to be an adult."
事实的确如此
And it does.
到时在那里工作会很危险的
It's gonna be a hell of a place to work,
那么多人在生产流水线上肩挨着肩
with people shoulder to shoulder on that assembly line.
很容易[随便]会染上什么
It's gonna be way too easy to catch something.
是啊 我就太随便了 有一次沾染了"脏东西"
Yeah. I was too easy. I caught something once.
是监工布克体内弄出的
From the supervisor, Booker.
不过都值了
But it was worth it.
他长得跟男星乔治·克鲁尼一样帅
He looked just like George Clooney.
你想小赌一把吗
So, you, uh -- you care to make a friendly wager?
好啊
Yeah.
如果我赢了 你就得去我家过夜
If I win, then you have to spend the night at my place.
我平均能得160分 布克
I've got a 160 average, Booker.
你不可能打败我的
There's no way you're gonna beat me.
好吧 那要是你赢了呢
Alright, alright, what if you win?
那你就去我家过夜
Then you spend the night at mplace.
听着不错
Sounds good.
去擦洗我的浴室
Scrubbing my bathroom.
天啊
Ohh, man.
我当年就该把他玩坏才对
I shoulda hit that till I broke it.
让我这老家伙去开门吧
Let the old guy get it.
如果是死神 我就给他来个亲吻
If it's Death, I'm kissing him right on the mouth.
提托
Tito!
你好啊 邻居 你过得怎么样
Hey, neighbor. How you doing?
我有好久没有见过你了
Man, I haven't seen you in a dog's age.
我一直待在家里呢
I've been in the house, you know.
我找了个人来修我的屋顶
I got a guy working on my roof.
我觉得他是想坑我
I think he's trying to screw me.
所以 你能帮我看看这份合同吗
So, could you look over this contract?
帮我个忙
Just help me out.
当然可以 乐意帮忙
Sure thing. Be happy to.
这是份限期搬离通知
This is an eviction notice.
是啊 你收到法♥院♥传票了
Yeah, you've been served.
你个混♥蛋♥
You son of a bitch.
那个 我...
Hey, I'm...
对不起
I'm sorry.
我失业了
I've been out of work.
我需要钱缴医院的账单
I need money for hospital bills.
我 我儿子之前想录一段视频
My -- My son tried to do one of those, uh, videos
视频里 他和一辆行驶中的车共舞
where he dances alongside a moving car.
他的恢复情况不错
Uh, he's progressing well.
昨天 他会说"猫"这个词了
Yesterday, he said "Cat."
现在让你把割草机还给我 是不是时机不太恰当
W-Would this be the wrong time to ask for my mower back?
等等
Hold on.
割草机就放在门后面
It's right behind the door.
你们知道我剩下的酒去哪了吗
Do you know what happened to the rest of my wine?
我本来还剩下半瓶呢
I had like half a bottle.
抱歉 你是新来的
Oh. Sorry, you're new.
这个家的规则是 "如果是红葡萄酒 藏到床底下
House rules -- "If it's red, keep it under the bed.
如果是白色的酒 谁会只喝半瓶就剩下啊"
If it's white, who drinks half a bottle anyway?"
简直像是和熊同居一样
It's like living with bears.
昨天我把盘子放下 就去拿纸巾的功夫
Yesterday I put my plate down, went to get a napkin.
有人把我的三明治里的肉抽出来吃掉了
Someone ate the meat out of my sandwich.
是哈莉丝干的 她在减少碳水化合物的摄入
That's Harris. She's cutting back on carbs.
你是在工作吗
Are you working?