美丽毒素（2026）

纽约
什么?亚莉安娜格兰德也是?她才29岁
What? Ariana Grande too? She's like 29.
是32岁 老天保佑
Thirty-two. God forbid.
安妮斯顿、娜欧蜜 所有大明星都做过埋线拉提
Aniston, Naomi. All the greats got thread lifts.
说真的, 愈早做愈好 不, 大家简直是疯了
I'm telling you, the earlier the better. No, everyone's crazy.
这叫疯吗?
Am I?
不会吧, 不可能
Shut up. No way.
两周前做的, 而且看不太出来
Two weeks ago, and it's so subtle,
你真的以为我只是补充了水分, 对吧?
you literally thought I was just hydrated, no?
其实我觉得你的气色变得更好 毕竟你花了20元打瘦瘦针
Oh. Actually, I thought you looked better because you dropped 20 on Ozempic.
总算消除掉脸部脂肪了
Finally lost that face fat.
谢谢你注意到了 我爱你
Thank you for noticing. I love you.
好, 但说真的, 别再动刀了, 好吗?
Okay, but seriously, no more slice and dice. Okay?
只要经常微整一下就行了, 懂吗?
It's just a little tug, little poke, and very often, okay?
那就是美容的未来
That's the future of beauty.
还是免了, 丰唇让我学到了教训
Nuh-uh. I learned my lesson with lip filler.
还留下该死的肿块, 你看
It left fucking lumps. Look at this.
布兰妮, 亲爱的, 听我说 下周你就要32岁了
Britt, my honey. Listen to me. You're turning 32 next week.
在我们说话的同时 我都能听到你的卵子在萎缩, 好吗?
I can literally hear your eggs shriveling up as we speak, okay?
你得弄好那张破脸
You need to fix that broke face,
然后你会得到很多新的老二
and then you're gonna be getting so much new dick,
到时候那个渣男瑞奇 就会像是明日黄花, 我保证
that trash bag Richie will feel like a distant memory, I promise.
我很难过 我知道
I'm sad. I know.
克莱拉那个婊♥子♥真的比我漂亮吗?
Was that whore Clara really that much prettier than me?
对, 她很漂亮 贱♥人♥
Yes. She was gorgeous. Bitch.
快看这个贱♥人♥ 是你啊
Mmm. Look at this bitch. Oh. You.
亲爱的, 哈珀萝丝
Sweetie, Harper Rose,
你最好赶快离开, 免得被安娜看到
get that tushy up right back out the door, okay, before Anna sees you.
毕竟她无法忍♥受人性的弱点 这样实在是...
You know she can't stomach human weakness, and this is...
不行, 我把病假都用在科切拉音乐节了
I can't. I used all my sick days for Coachella.
真搞不懂, 她明明是喝劣质粉红酒 喝到严重宿醉, 状态却还是这么好
I don't get it. Deathly hungover on Rotgut Rosé. She's still a ten.
容光焕发 我没有宿醉, 我发誓
Glowing. I'm not hungover, I swear.
你最好不要有 不然饰品编辑的工作机会就跟你无缘了
Well, you better not be, or you can kiss that accessories editor gig goodbye.
不, 亲爱的, 别喝成药咳嗽糖浆
Oh, no, sweetie, not the over-the-counter cough syrup.
别这样 你需要的是苦酒或餐后酒
Don't do that. You need some amaro or a digestif.
天啊, 是新冠肺炎吗? 不, 拜托不要是新冠肺炎
Good God, is this COVID? No, no, no, not COVID.
你的飞沫麻烦离我的沙拉远一点 我没事
Get your aerosols away from my salad. I'm okay.
我只是累坏了, 我感冒了
I just got run down. I caught a bug.
但好消息是我又瘦了两公斤
But the good news is I lost another five pounds.
我想也是 好好喔, 快对我咳嗽
Jealous. Cough on me. Of course.
大家都瘦了, 真是的
Everybody's just shedding weight. Jesus.
亲爱的
Whoa. Honey.
这是怎样? 你吓到我了
What is this? I'm not liking this. Oh, God.
天啊, 你还好吗? 你在干嘛?
You okay? Why are you doing this?
你干嘛这样?快停下来
Stop it.
对, 我觉得还是喝点水或是...
Okay. Yeah, I guess drink some water or...
可不可以...
Um. Can we...
该死
Fuck.
快给我水 天啊, 想都别想, 亲爱的...
Water! Oh, my God, yeah. There's no way that...
水 搞什么啊
Water. What the fuck?
水
Water!
水 不, 不
Ah! Water! No! No!
不, 不 布兰妮, 布兰妮
No, no. Brittany! Brittany!
天啊, 喷到我的眼睛里了, 快来人啊
Oh, God! It's in my eye! It's in my eye!
《美丽毒素》


威尼斯
你再讲一次事发经过 我们很想赶快把事情解决
So, just walk us through one more time. We'd love to button this up.
市长一直紧盯着我们 催促我们处理豪♥宅♥抢劫案
The mayor has really been breathing down our necks about robberies in palazzos.
我已经说过了, 那并不是抢劫
I already told you, it wasn't a robbery.
抱歉, 是攻击
Sorry. An assault.
他们想置我于死地
They tried to kill me.
为什么?
And why is that?
麻烦你们打给国内安全总局
Please, call the DGSI.
文森塞拉芬可以解释这一切
Vincent Seraphine can explain everything to you.
我们已经派人去查了
We got someone on that already.
我们都待在这里四小时了
We've been here for four hours.
我受够了
Enough.
局长呢?
Where's the Commissioner?
对, 我们已经待在这里四个小时了 但你得配合调查
Yes, we have been here for four hours, but you have to cooperate.
已经出现两具尸体了
There are two bodies already.
要是你们再不停止耍这些烂把戏
And if you don't stop with these shitty games,
还会有更多的尸体等着你们
you will have many others.
这是威胁吗?
Is that a threat?
既然他们像那样攻击我
If they attacked me like that,
那么你的人马、我的搭档
then your people, my partner,
所有人都会有危险
everyone is in danger.
你们完全搞不清楚状况
You have no idea what is happening.
我们还没查出他们的身分
We still haven't pinpointed who they are.
无论你卷入了什么事情...
Whatever you're mixed up in...
不管是黑♥手♥党♥或是跟性有关...
Mafia, a sexual thing...
...你最好从实招来
...you better tell us.
听好, 这是你们的工作
Listen, this is your job.
我懂
I get it.
但是
But...
你干涉了...
you are interfering...
你干涉了国际调查
You're interfering in an international investigation.
没错, 《不可能的任务》
Yeah... Mission Impossible.
快放我出去
Hey! Get me the fuck out of here!
这些该死的美国人总是这么目中无人
These fucking Americans are always arrogant.
别再搞这种爱国的把戏了
And stop with this patriotic bullshit.
够了
Enough.
我们走吧
Let's go.
事情永远没那么简单 感觉就像是在挑选自己最爱的孩子
Never gets easier, you know. It's like picking your favorite child.
他们各有各的才华和美感
All brilliant and beautiful in their own way.
但我终于能理解为什么 厨师总是会被日本钢材所吸引
But I see why chefs are always drawn to Japanese steel.
高碳含量能让刀刃硬到不行
The high carbon content creates an impossibly hard edge,
可以更优雅地切割 并切断神经末梢, 就像那样
which allows for a more elegant cut and severed nerve endings. Like that.
有任何想法吗?
Thoughts?
大声说出来吧, 老兄
Come on. Speak up, my man.
你摆出一副苦瓜脸的话 我就享受不到快♥感♥了
I'm not gonna get off if you just sit there like a sad sack.
什么?
What?
你想来点更有戏剧效果的, 对吧? 更有《英雄本色》的感觉
You-You thinking something a little theatrical, right? More Braveheart.
没问题, 老兄, 包在我身上
I got you, bro. Don't worry about it.
这就对了
Yeah.
毕竟你没有乖乖听话, 对吧?
You didn't obey the rules, did you?
真搞不懂你们这种年纪的人
I don't get people your age.
老是自以为很特别, 穿着运动裤在家工作
Thinking you're so goddamn special, working from home in sweatpants,
支持开放式关系和性无政♥府♥主义
open relationships and sexual anarchy.
简直毫无道德底线, 真恶心
Nothing's sacred anymore. It's disgusting.
你签了同意书
You signed an agreement.
你被赐予神圣的礼物 而你表达感激的方式
You were given a sacred gift, and you show your appreciation
竟然是跟陌生人上♥床♥, 让其他人受到感染
by throwing your dick into strangers and infecting others.
没错
Yeah.
你学到教训了, 对吧?
Lesson learned. Right?
企业
等我一下
Hold, please.
你还真会挑准时机打来, 亲爱的
Always impeccable timing, honey bear.
克罗埃西亚
向我报告目前的进度
Status update.
我正盯着一个准备就绪的跑者 只要你别再唠叨, 我就能下手了
Well, I'm staring at a runner prepped and ready to go if you quit nagging.
动作快, 我要你去见一位整形医生
Make it quick. There's a plastic surgeon I need you to go see.
真伤人, 明明是你说 我原本的样子就很美了
Ouch. You said I was beautiful just the way I am.
他接触了威尼斯跑者
He came in contact with the Venetian runner.
据我们所知, 她至少感染了另一个人
She contaminated at least one other person we know of.
真刺♥激♥
How exciting.
对, 地点就在印第安纳波利斯
Yeah. It's in Indianapolis.
该死, 你确定?
Fuck me. Are you sure?
数位足迹是不会骗人的...等我一下
The digital footprints never lie... Hold please.
你♥他♥妈♥的还在吗?
Fucking hello!
我在, 而且快乐得不得了
I'm here. Happy as a clam.
至少联邦调查局不会轻举妄动
At least we got the FBI on ice.
话别说太早, 在威尼斯又有两个人挂了