某人某地（2022）

We never sold any...
-你把这个落在我车里了 -你没看 对吧
- You left this in my car. - Y-you didn't read it, did you?
-没有 -那就好 因为这是我的拉屎日记
- No. - Okay, good, because it's my poop journal.
你以为自己高大上 但其实你俗不可耐
You think you're Pinterest but you're really Hobby Lobby.
-把桌子给我 -好吧
- Give me the fucking table... - Okay.
我感觉她们要互相残杀了
I think they're gonna kill each other,
我觉得这是我的错 因为...
and I think it's my fault because...
库珀之前不知道
Coop didn't know.
-看起来就像个二手店 -不
- It looks like a resale shop... - Oh no...
-我们该怎么办 -我不知道该怎么办
- What do we do? - I don't know what to do.
你是社交达人 不如你介入一下
You're the people-person, why don't you just hop in there
做点什么 让她们和好
and do something? Fix it.
好了 女士们 这里是做买♥♥卖♥♥的地方
Okay! Ladies, this is a place of business.
都冷静下 去不同的角落待着
So, let's calm down and go to separate corners, huh?
不如...切芮蒂 你去床上用品
Why don't-- Charity, you go to the day bed,
翠西娅 你去婴儿用品 好吗
Tricia, you can go to the baby foxes, okay?
-很好 -我不知道我在干什么
- Good. - I don't know what I'm doing.
你干得很好
You're doing great.
好吧
Okay...
我现在要干些奇怪的事
I'm going to do something weird right now
引用《圣经》的话
and quote the Bible.
歌♥罗西书写到
In Colossians, it says,
"倘若这人与那人有嫌隙
"Bear with one another and forgive each other
总要彼此包容 彼此饶恕
"if you have a grievance against someone.
主怎样饶恕了你们 你们也要怎样饶恕人"
Forgive the way the Lord has forgiven you."
好美的经♥文♥
It's such a beautiful verse.
但
But, like...
谁能做到 对吧
da-fuh? Right?
有些事就是无法原谅
I mean, some things can't be fixed.
抱歉 我能买♥♥单吗
Sorry, can I pay for this or...
-好 稍等 -抱歉
- Yeah, in one second. - Sorry.
但如果这仍然是你们的梦想
But if this is still your dream,
如果你们感觉
if you feel in your soul
这就是你们的使命
that this is your calling...
那就给我和好 好吗
then work it the fuck out. M'kay?
现在赶紧去个人给这位女士结账
Now, somebody ring up this nice person.
-我来 -非常感谢
- I'll take care of it. - Thank you so much.
-现金还是刷♥卡♥ -刷♥卡♥
- Cash or charge? - Charge, please.
刚才太棒了
Okay, that was awesome.
我以为你跟教堂诀别了
I thought you were done with church?
不知道 你总会在不经意的地方遇见上帝
I don't know. You find God where you find God.
这个案例里 那就在
In this instance, it was right next to
特别可爱的睡眠面膜旁边
those really cute sleep masks.
-对 我们刚进那些 -很有趣
- Oh yeah, we just got those in. - Hm, they're fun.
白葡萄酒红葡萄酒姑娘
White wine, red wine!
-你最懂了 -这些真美
- You know it. - Oh, those are so pretty.
她们赢了
They won.
好吧
Okay.
城镇年度企业获得者
Downtown business of the year!
-恭喜 -天哪
- Congratulations! - Oh my god!
-你还打扮了 -必须的
- Wow, you're all dolled up. - Yeah, well,
-这是个派对 是吧 -没错
- it's a party, right? - Yes, it is.
那派对在哪
Where is the party?
在这个活动门下面 来吧
Down the hatch. Come on!
-你没逗我玩吗 -没有
- Are-are you fucking with me? - No, I'm not.
弗雷德的扑克宫殿
洛可可 19号♥
莎姆
Sam!
欢迎来到谎言吧
Welcome to the lair!
农作物小队全国冠军 厉害
Crops Team National Champs. Okay.
好吧 我不知道谁想爽一把
Alright, I don't know who indulges,
但我有弗雷德特♥供♥小药片
but I got Fredibles!
-见鬼 我们要咳嗨了 -对
- Oh shit, we're getting high! - Yes!
这是第三批 我很清醒
Now, this is batch 3.0. I'm sober,
所以我需要帮助把剂量调小点 好吗
so I need a little help dialing in the dosage, okay, kids?
第二批给我直接干晕了
2.0 really spiraled me out.
-我调小了 你个不胜药量的 -很艰难
- I dialed it back, you lightweight! - It was rough.
你是搞科学的人
Well, you are a man of science.
-最坏能发生什么 对吧 -没错
- What's the worst that could happen, right? - Fuck yeah!
-你有什么 -来啊
- Alright, what do you got? - Come on.
一对J 宝贝
Pocket jacks, baby.
妈的
Fuck.
真无情
Ruthless!
乔尔
Joel?
乔尔
Joel.
弃牌
Fold.
还有其他人上头了吗
Anybody else feeling it yet?
没有
No.
不妙 他要嗨了
Oh no, we're losin' him!
傻笑先生
Mr. Chuckles.
他要嗨了
We're losin' him.
把你的鸡♥巴♥收起来
Put your dick away!
我已经收了 在水池地下
I already did. It's under the sink.
乔尔 你个混♥蛋♥ 你说你没看
Joel, you motherfucker! You told me you didn't read that!
-我看了 我都看了 -妈的
- I did! I did read it! - Oh fuck!
莎姆谢了一些歌♥ 非常好笑
Sam wrote these songs, and they're very funny songs!
-来听听 -不 太傻了
- Let's hear it! - Oh no! They're seriously so fucking dumb.
都是几百年前的事了
They're from a million years ago.
傻不傻得由我们说了算 快点
Alright, well, we'll be the judge of that. Come on.
各位 我绝对不会
Guys, there's absolutely
给你们唱...
no fucking way ...
*当我结束一天回家后*
*When I come home at the end of the day*
*我的手指酸涩*
*My fingers are down to the bone*
*腰酸背痛 但别误会*
*My back is aching, don't there be no mistaking*
*我要打给心爱的女孩*
*I'm gonna call my girl on the phone*
*倒上一杯葡萄酒*
*Then I'll pour a glass of wine*
*我要慢慢享受 好好放松*
*I'm going to take my time, I'll go get my shit relaxed*
*然后当我说是时候*
*And when I say it's fucking time*
*你就舔舐我的私处 也别落下缝隙*
*You gonna lick my Valentine and don't forget the crack*
*把你的鸡♥巴♥ 把你的鸡♥巴♥*
*Put your dick! Put your dick!*
*把你的鸡♥巴♥收起来*
*Put your dick away*
-天呐 -*把你的鸡♥巴♥*
- Jesus! - *Put your dick...*
*把你的鸡♥巴♥*
*Put your dick*
*把你的鸡♥巴♥收起来*
*Put your dick away*
我无语了
I'm speechless.
太蠢了
It's just seriously so dumb!
-抱歉 -现在唱《他们叫我假鸡太太》
- I'm sorry! - Now sing "They Call Me Mrs. Diddles."
-乔尔 别闹 -这首我必须听
- Joel, stop! - Now, that one I gotta hear.
我想...
I think...
我想我们该去野外郊游
I think we should take a field trip.
-你觉得呢 -天哪
- What do you think? - Oh my god,
我们要去看假鸡太太吗
are we gonna go visit Mrs. Diddles?
-走吧 -走 来吧 我开车
- Let's do it! - Let's go. Come on, I'll drive.
我们开咆哮者去
Let's take the Growler.
这就是我要对假鸡太太说的话
This is what I'm gonna say to Mrs. Diddles.
天哪
Jesus!
你想开这个车去看橄榄球吗
Don't you wanna go to a football game in this?
我不想去看橄榄球
I don't wanna go to a football game.
我想在咆哮者里派对
I wanna party in the fucking Growler!
太酷了 姐妹
It is awesome, girl.
急转弯 各位 急转弯
Sharp turn, guys, sharp turn!
紫色力量
慢点
Take it easy!
孩子们 我们爽一把吧
Okay, kids, let's have some fun.
这里的晚上比白天更吓人
This is scarier at night than in the day.
是有点恐怖 但很安全
It looks a little scary, but it's good.
你觉得我的开车技术如何
How do you like my driving?
我不想说
I don't wanna talk about it.
-嗯 -这个嘛
- Oh yeah. - Well...
就是这个
This is it!
对 棒极了
Oh, hell yeah. This is incredible.
舞台放这里
Yeah, the stage will go here.