宋飞正传（1990）

我是不是应该辞个职 专职来卷硬币?
What shouId I quit my job?
不 我讨厌银行 我听到过这样的评价:
No I do not Iike the bank. I've heard the expression
“一路微笑着走进银行” 事实上我从没见过谁有这表情
"Laughing aII the way to the bank." I've never seen anyone actuaIIy do it.
还有银行的那些排队线
And those bank Iines.
我恨它们 尤其是根本没有人的时候
I hate it when there's nobody on the Iine at aII.
你们知道的 当你走进银行 没有人...
You now that part? You go to the bank it's empty...
...可你还是要穿梭于那些迷宫之中
...and you stiII have to go through the IittIe maze.
“能给我来点奶酪吗”？ 我就快到了
"CouId you get some cheese for me? I'm aImost at the front.
“我是不是该有点奖励 求求你”
I'd Iike a reward for this pIease."
32 33... - 乔治
Thirty-two 33-- -George.
没看我正忙 33...
Not now 33....
30... - 别数了?
Thirty.... -CouId you stop the counting?
什么? - 我直接给你好了?
What? -Can I make it up to you?
我给你50块
I'II give you $50 for the jug.
哦 你还是省省吧
Oh yeah sure. Keep your money.
好吧 那我也不去看球赛了
WeII then I'm not gonna go to the game either.
我把两张票都给他好了
Okay I'II give him both tickets.
随便 随便!
Go. Go
... 我不想去
I-- No I don't want to go.
他真的哭了? - 我都给他递纸巾了
He was reaIIy crying? -I had to give him a tissue.
那我来打个电♥话♥ 找些理由...
In fact Iet me caII his machine now and I'II make up some excuse...
...为什么我也不能去了
...why I can't go to the game either.
等一下 等一下 你如果想对那家伙撒谎的话...
Wait. Wait a minute. As Iong as you're gonna Iie to the guy...
...你不如说你把两张票都弄丢了 这样我们就可以一起去了
...why don't you teII him that you Iost both of the tickets. Then we can go.
乔治 那个男人都泪湿巾了
George the man wept.
嘿 兄弟们
Hey guys.
老兄 我跟你说 我的完美披萨计划就要实现了
Man I'm teIIing you this pizza idea is reaIIy gonna happen.
你是说让人们自己做披萨?
This is the thing where you go and you have to make your own pizza?
我提供你们生面团
We give you the dough.
你们粉碎它 猛击它 把它抛向空中
You smash it. You pound it. You fIing it up in the air.
然后放调料 洒芝士粉
And then you get to put your sauce and sprinkIe your cheese.
然后 把它们扔进烤箱
And then you sIide it into the oven.
你首先得了解怎么做啊
You have to know how to do that.
你怎么能让人家把手 伸进600度高温的烤箱!
You can't have peopIe shoving their arms into a 600-degree oven
都是有指导的 - 算了吧 你...
It's aII supervised. -Oh weII....
全部都有!
AII of it
你想投资吗? - 我现在的钱都是硬币
You want to invest? -My money's tied up in change.
那个啥... 我告诉你
You know Iook. I'm teIIing you.
人们真的很乐意自己动手做披萨的
PeopIe they reaIIy want to make their own pizza pie.
我满怀敬意的想要说一些东西
I have to say something with aII due respect.
我只是从来... 没想像过任何一个人...
I just never-- I can't imagine anyone...
...不管是任何职业阶层 任何情况下...
...in any waIk of Iife under any circumstance...
...会想要去自己动手做披萨
...wanting to make their own pizza pie.
这是我 - 好吧 没关系
But that's me. -WeII okay.
那是你 - 我只是说说
That's you. -I'm just saying.
我就是来和你们确认一下 这次我要玩把大的
I just wanted to check with you guys. This business is going to be big.
我就是在想... 好吧
I just want to-- Okay.
总有一天 你要来求我的
One day you'II beg me to make your own pie.
嗨 乔尔 我是杰瑞 希望你能在回家后...
Hi JoeI. This is Jerry. I hope you get this before you--
哦 嗨 乔尔 哦 你正好到家
Oh hi JoeI. Oh you just came in.
是这样 今晚我不能去看球赛了
Listen I can't make it to the game tonight.
我要给我侄子上辅♥导♥课
I have to tutor my nephew.
是的 他明天有考试
Yeah he's got an exam tomorrow.
几何学
Geometry.
梯形 菱形
You know trapezoid rhombus.
不管怎么样 你去拿票吧 在预定取票窗口
Anyway Iisten you take the tickets. They're at the wiII-caII window.
真得很抱歉 玩得愉快 下周再说? 好的
And I'm reaIIy sorry. Have a good time. We'II taIk next week okay? Yeah.
好的 我不... 好
Yeah. I don't-- Fine.
好 再见
Fine bye.
梯形?
"Trapezoid"?
我知道很蠢 可我真的是没借口好说了
I know. I'm reaIIy running out of excuses with this guy.
我需要一个借口库之类的东西
I need some kind of excuse RoIodex.
我们出去干点啥吧 在这呆的好无聊
Come on. Let's go do something. I don't want to just sit around here.
想去吃东西吗? - 去哪?
Wanna get something to eat? -Where?
无所谓 反正我不饿
I don't care. I'm not hungry.
我们可以去咖啡屋
We couId go to one of those cappuccino pIaces.
你可以坐在那里
They Iet you just sit there.
坐在那干什么 聊天?
What are we gonna do there taIk?
可以啊
We can taIk.
如果不用聊天 我就去
I'II go if I don't have to taIk.
那我们也可以不说话就坐在那里啊
Then we'II just sit there.
好吧 我先查一下机器
Okay I'm gonna check my machine first.
去机场接人... 参加陪审团...
"Picking someone up at airport jury duty...
...等电缆公♥司♥ - 好了 请递给我
...waiting for cabIe company." -Okay just hand that over pIease.
这是什么? - 借口备忘录
What is this? -It's a Iist of excuses.
对付霍内克那个家伙用的 就是今晚要拿我的票去看球赛的那个家伙
It's for that guy Horneck who's at the game tonight with my tickets.
现在我有借口备忘录了 如果他再打来 我可以作参考...
I have that Iist now so in case he caIIs I just consuIt it...
...就不用见到他了
...and I don't have to see him.
上帝 - 给我
God. -I need it.
你干什么? - 我再给你写两个
What are you doing? -I got some for you.
哦 不用了 够了 - 不 不 不够
Oh I don't need any more. -No no no.
这些很好 听着
These are good. Listen Iisten.
“你内♥裤♥都用完了 所以出不了门了”
"You ran out of underwear you can't Ieave the house."
好好笑哦
Very funny.
或者说你被诊断出...
How about you've been diagnosed...
...多重人格分♥裂♥症? 你已经不是你了
...as a muItipIe personaIity? You're not even you.
你是丹
You're Dan.
我是丹
I'm Dan.
能先把借口单子给我吗? - 给你 给你
Can I have my Iist back pIease? -Here. Here.
杰瑞·宋飞，不敢相信你竟然这样
Jerry SeinfeId I cannot beIieve you are doing this.
简直太幼稚了
This is absoIuteIy infantiIe.
不然我能怎样？ - 勇敢面对，像个男人
What can I do? -DeaI with it. Be a man.
噢，不行
Oh no.
不可能啊 我宁愿一辈子对他说谎
That's impossibIe. I'd rather Iie to him the rest of my Iife...
也不愿意再经历一次
...than go through that again.
他哭了
He was crying.
一把鼻涕一把泪啊
Tears accompanied by mucus.
你让一个男人哭了？
You made a man cry?
我还没让男人哭过
I never made a man cry.
我曾经把一男踢个大窟窿，他都不哭一下
I even kicked a guy in the groin once and he didn't cry.
我还抢到了出租车
I got the cab.
蛮强悍的嘛
A coupIe of tough monkeys.
你好，伊莲
Hi EIaine.
嘿，你今晚错过了一场彩球赛
Hey you missed a great game tonight.
球赛？ - 尼克队的比赛啊
Game? -Knick game.
霍内克带我去了 我们就坐在球员休憩区后面两行
Horneck took me. We're sitting two rows behind the bench.
我们都被汗水溅到了！
We were getting hit by sweat
霍内克怎么会认识你啊？
Wait. How does Horneck know you?
上星期，我让你接电♥话♥的时候
Last week when I you know gave you the phone.
他对这个披萨店的主意非常有兴趣
He's reaIIy into my pizza pIace idea.
这下可好了 - 等等，什么披萨店？
This is too much. -Wait. What pizza pIace idea?
噢，不
Oh no.
你可以自己动手做披萨
You get to make your own pie.
听起来不错啊，肯定很好玩
That sounds Iike a great idea. It wouId be fun.
克莱默！ - 是！
Kramer -Yeah
太好了
Perfect.
嘿！
Hey
好，谁要肉卷？
Okay who wants meat Ioaf?
不用了，谢谢 - 不，不
No thanks. -No no.
一分钟就好
It's gonna be hot in a minute.
我还以为你在给外甥女补课呢
So I thought you were tutoring your nephew.
我们很早就补完了 - 是啊
We finished earIy. -I'II bet.
那你要介绍我给你外甥女认识吗？
So are you going to introduce me to your nephew?
伊莲·贝尼斯，这是乔尔·霍内克
EIaine Benes this is JoeI Horneck.
哇 尼尔逊
Whoa NeIson.
这是伊莲
This is EIaine.
我还以为你们分手了 - 我们还是朋友
I thought you guys spIit up. -We're stiII friends.
那么...
So....
谢谢你的门票，但下星期我要和你去
Thanks again for those tickets But next week I'm gonna take you.
下星期二晚上好不好？ 要不你也一起来
How about next Tuesday night? Why don't you come aIong.