音乐魔法镇！（2021）

我不会开枪的
I'm not gonna shoot.
因为你现在就得跟我和我的贝希一起走
'Cause you're headed with me and my Betsy right now
去教堂结婚
to the church to get married.
什么
What?
你给我听着 帕特里克·麦克杜格尔·麦克唐纳
You listen here, Patrick McDoogal McDonough.
你不能像一个疯子一样
You will not come into my classroom
怒气冲冲地挥舞着枪走进我的教室
waving a gun around and ranting like a lunatic.
你听明白了吗
Do you understand me?
是的 女士
Yes, ma'am.
你真的那么瞧不起你的女儿吗
Do you really think so little of your daughter
觉得你得威胁男人
that you feel the need to threaten men
好让他们娶你女儿
to get them to marry her?
-真的吗 爸爸 -我以为
- Do you, Papa? - Well, I thought--
我觉得你在做出这件事之前
I don't see a whole lot of thinking
没有先仔细思考过
going on in that head of yours.
但是你现在就得回家
But you are going to go home
好好反思一下自己的行为
and think about your behavior,
然后让你的女儿自己掌控人生
and let your daughter live her own life.
-听清楚了吗 -是的 女士
- Is that clear? - Yes, ma'am.
我能拿回我的枪吗
Can I have my gun?
你能拿回自己的枪
You will get this back
但要在我认为你已经吸取教训之后
when I think you have learned your lesson.
走吧
Now get.
谢谢
Thank you.
你一定很辛苦吧 毕竟这个地方
Must be hard being the only one around here
好像只有你的脑子正常运作
with an actual functioning brain.
他们也没那么糟糕
They're not so bad.
他们只是照自己的方式行事 仅此而已
They're just set in their ways, is all.
我试着鼓励他们更现代化一点 但是
I try to encourage them to be more modern, but...
你听说过文胸吗
Have you heard of a brassiere?
有印象
Rings a bell.
这是个绝妙的新发明
It's a wonderful new invention
能够将女人的胸从束胸的拘束中解放出来
that frees the woman's bosom from the bondage of the corset.
我太喜欢了
I love it.
但是当然了 蜜尔芮德和她朋友们将其禁止了
But of course Mildred and her biddies have banned them.
真是荒谬
It's ridiculous.
太荒谬了 文胸最棒了
So ridiculous. Brassieres are the best.
我们大家对你来说都十分的粗野和落后吧
I imagine we all must seem very provincial and backwards
毕竟你是个如此见多识广的人
to someone as cosmopolitan as yourself.
所以 你来的地方是个什么样子呢
So, what's it like where you come from?
那个大城市
The big city.
不不不
No, no, no, no!
我很抱歉 我不是故意要
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
我绝对不会唱歌♥
I'm not doing this.
好吧 没问题 不用告诉我
Okay. Fine. Don't tell me.
-祝你晚上过得愉快 斯金纳医生 -不
- Have a nice evening, Dr. Skinner. - No--
所以 在未来 皮特
So in the future, Pete,
离装着玉米布丁的沸腾锅子远一点 好吗
let's stay away from boiling pots of corn puddin', okay?
鉴于你和你遇上的倒霉事
Just knowing you and your whole deal.
所以你现在是护士 医生在哪里
So you're a nurse now. Where's the doctor?
他出去钓鱼了
He's out fishing.
你想干什么 你为什么来这
What do you want? Why are you here?
我有点 我是
I kinda-- I was...
-你需要我的帮助 -对
- You need my help. - Yeah.
真的吗 不知道你还记不记得
Really? Don't know if you remember,
但我们已经分手了 而且我很讨厌你
but we're broken up and I hate you.
我知道 但是我走投无路了 求你了
I know, I know. But I have nowhere else to turn. Please.
行吧 什么事
Fine. What is it?
好吧 所以你还记得我为了过桥
Okay, so you remember when I tried to cross the bridge
跟镇子里所有女人走了一遍吧
with every woman in town?
是的 我记得
Yes, I remember.
我落了镇子里的一个女人
There's one woman in town I missed.
艾玛·塔特 女教师
Emma Tate, the schoolmarm.
所以我觉得 她一定就是我出去的方法
So I'm thinking she must be my ticket out.
你要和女教师找寻真爱
You gonna find true love with the schoolmarm?
我不知道 我只知道事情不太顺利
I don't know. I just know it's not going well.
昨天 我们正在谈话
Yesterday we were talking and
然后不知道哪里开始放起了音乐
then music started to play out of nowhere,
然后她就摔门而出了
and she stormed off.
-你应该跟着唱 -我想是吧
- You were supposed to sing. - I guess.
乔什 你在音乐剧里 音乐剧就是这样
Josh, you're in a musical. That's how musicals work.
你太过激动不能说话的话 就唱歌♥
When you're too emotional to talk, you sing.
你太激动无法唱歌♥的话 就跳舞
When you're too emotional to sing, you dance.
那太激动 无法跳舞的时候呢
What happens when you're too emotional to dance?
那就会转回去说话吗
Does it loop back around to talking?
因为我现在就是这样的感受
'Cause I feel like that's where I'm at right now.
听着 一定有别的办法 你很了解音乐剧
Look, there's gotta be another way. You know musicals.
能给我点建议吗 比如我在什么音乐剧里
Any tips for me? Like what musical I'm in.
我真的非常不想帮助你
I'm so torn between really not wanting to help you
但是又真的很想炫耀自己有多了解
and really wanting to show off how much I know.
该死 好吧
Damn it. Okay.
她是一位教师 身边有个小男孩
She's a teacher accompanied by a young boy.
这很像《欢乐音乐妙无穷》
That's very Music Man.
那我在里面是谁呢
And who would I be in that?
哈罗德·希尔 一个道德不定的自恋狂
Harold Hill. A morally adrift narcissist
需要改变自我
who needs to change.
-好吧 -或者可能是《国王与我》
- All right. - Or it could be King and I.
-我在那里面是 -一个道德不定的自恋狂
- In that I'm... - A morally adrift narcissist
需要改变自我
who needs to change.
好吧 现在我感觉那只是你对我的评价罢了
Okay, now I feel like that's just your opinion of me.
-你得唱歌♥ 乔什 -不可能
- You're gonna have to sing, Josh. - Not happening.
所以在《欢乐音乐妙无穷》里的男主
So what did the Music Man do
在音乐剧中是怎么获得了老师的芳心
to win over the teacher in their musical?
-他给了她弟弟一个小号♥ -为什么
- He gave her little brother a trumpet. - Why?
出自《欢乐音乐妙无穷》
为什么是《寻找爱情》 我不知道
Why "Shipoopi"? I don't know.
你需要知道整个故事吗
Do you need to know the whole plot?
-你还剩多少时间 -算了
- How much time do you have? - Never mind.
小号♥ 弟弟 懂了
Trumpet. Little brother. Got it.
我觉得可能不止这些
I think it's a little more than that.
梅丽莎护士
Nurse Melissa!
我是医生
I'm a doctor.
我觉得我要生了
I think I'm having the baby!
好吧 进来吧 准备接生
Okay. Come on in. Let's do this.
-但是洛佩兹医生 -去他的洛佩兹医生
- But Doc Lopez-- - Screw Doc Lopez.
去手术台上
Let's get you on the table.
好了
Okay.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
感觉你可能需要帮助
Figured you could use a hand.
没错 我需要
Yeah, I could.
这太棒了
That was amazing.
-你太棒了 -才没呢
- You were amazing. - No.
-你就是 -好吧 我是
- You were. - Okay, I was.
但老实说 音乐剧让这手术格外简单
But to be fair, being in a musical made it pretty easy.
这是我第一次看见身上全干的新生儿
It's the first time I've ever had a baby come out completely dry.
是啊 那太奇怪了
Yeah, that was weird.
但很开心得到了你的帮助 谢谢你
But it was great to have your help, so thank you.
乐意至极
Happy to do it.
你现在最好去找那个小号♥吧
Guess you better go find that trumpet.
是啊 对
Yeah. Right.
祝你好运
Good luck.
-也祝你好运 -谢了
- Good luck to you too. - Thanks.
施密加屯
出生证明
我听说的是真的吗
Is it true what I heard?
你违背了我的命令 接生了南希的孩子
Did you deliver Nancy's baby against my orders?
是啊 因为我是名医生
Yes, because I'm a doctor.
事实如此 而你知道医生的义务吗
I am. And you know what doctors are supposed to do?
帮助别人
Help people.
好吧 但你无权这么做
Well, you had no right to do that.
这是我的诊所 就该遵循我的规矩
This is my practice and I make the rules.
说起这个