音乐魔法镇！（2021）

他用满膛的埃尔默猎枪指着我的脸
He pointed a full-on Elmer Fudd shotgun at my face
还逼我当场向她求婚
and forced me to propose to her on the spot.
我别无选择
I had no choice!
这不好笑
It's not funny!
还挺好笑的
It kind of is.
顺带一提
And, by the way,
那个女孩其实比看上去年轻得多
that girl is apparently much younger than she looks.
是啊 我试着提醒过你
Yeah, I tried to warn you.
你没看过《音乐之声》吗
Have you not seen Sound of Music?
丽莎看着像29岁 实际只有16岁
Liesl is 16 going on 29.
而且他还是名医生
And he's a doctor!
早期音乐剧里的女性也太没地位了
Women were so underwritten in early musicals.
等等
Wait a minute.
什么
What?
哈维 这是什么情况
Harvey, what's going on?
我很抱歉 梅丽莎小姐
I'm so sorry, Miss Melissa.
他们突然就过来
They just came over all of a sudden
要求我清理你们的房♥间
and made me clean out your rooms.
他们是谁
Who's "they"?
是... 是... 是...
Well, it's... it's... it's...
是我们
It is we.
来自"母亲反对未来"会的热心市民们
The concerned citizens of the Mothers Against the Future.
"母亲反对未来"
"The Mothers Against the Future"?
所以你们是反对时间的自然流逝吗
So, you're against the passage of time?
我们是反对你们城里人
We are against city folk like you
用城市的风气污染我们的小镇
contaminating our town with your urban ways.
例子一 你和一名单纯的女孩
Exhibit A: you went off into the woods
去往丛林深处 使她误入歧途
with an innocent girl and led her astray.
什么 不 我没有 什么事都没发生
What? No, I didn't. Nothing even happened.
还有例子二 你和臭名昭著的
And exhibit B: you spent the night
种马丹尼·贝利共度良宵
with that known fornicator Danny Bailey.
我这边也什么事都没发生
And also in my situation nothing happened.
跟他那边的情况一模一样
Just the same thing that happened in his situation.
而且你知道吗
And you know what?
我们对这些奇怪的指控感到愤怒
We are both outraged by these outlandish allegations.
唯一令人愤怒的是你们的行为
The only outrageous thing here is your behavior,
现已被"母亲反对未来"会
which has now officially been deemed as unseemly
正式认定为不体面
by the Mothers Against the Future.
因此 没人 意味着施密加屯
Therefore, no one, and I mean no one,
没人会给你们提供住宿
in Schmigadoon will give you lodging.
还有 哈维
And, Harvey,
别想着等我走后 再让他们住进来
don't even think about letting them back in after I've left.
你在我面前像本书一样透明
I can read you like a book.
等等 书都还有书脊呢
Wait, books have spines.
祝你们有愉快的一天
Y'all have a nice day.
走吧 女士们
Let's go, ladies.
所以你和那个游乐场员工真的...
So you and the carny actually--
-为什么 -那你又为什么去参加篮子拍卖♥♥会
- Why? - Why did you do the basket auction?
我...
I--
-好了 我们都犯了错 -是啊
- Okay, look, we both made mistakes. - Yeah.
所以就别管这些了
So let's just move on.
我们还有更重要的事需要解决
We've got more important things to deal with.
例如 我被枪杀
For instance, me being shot to death.
那不会发生的 乔什
That's not gonna happen, Josh.
我们在音乐剧里 好吗
We're in a musical, okay?
没人会在音乐剧里被杀
Nobody gets killed in a musical.
除了《俄克拉荷马》和《天上人间》
Except Oklahoma! And Carousel.
还有《南太平洋》
And South Pacific.
差点忘了《西区故事》
Oh, hello, West Side Story.
听起来像所有的音乐剧都会死人
That sounds like all the musicals.
所以 我会死 我们没地方住
So I'm dead, we have no place to stay,
我们被永远困在了这里
and we're stuck here forever.
不 我们不会
No, we're not.
好了 我们接下来要做的事
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
你去断绝和贝希的关系
You go break things off with Betsy.
那个农民不会射杀你的
The farmer's not gonna shoot you.
然后我去找镇长
And I will go find the mayor
看他有没有其他地方能让我们住下
and see if he can help us find another place to stay.
然后呢
And then what?
然后 我们这么聪明
And then-- We're smart,
我们找到了宜家的出口
we found our way out of Ikea.
一定也能找到离开这里的办法
We'll find a way out of here.
好的
Okay.
听起来不错
Sounds good.
我同意
I'm gonna do it.
你会没事的 我保证
You'll be fine, I promise.
你好啊 贝希
Hey, Betsy.
你好
Hey there.
乔什·斯金纳医生太太向你问好哦
And that is Mrs. Doctor Josh Skinner to you.
贝希
Betsy.
有件事我们得谈谈
So, there is something we need to talk about.
确实 我们有很多事要准备
Well, no kidding. I mean, there are so many plans to make.
我只是
I just--
等不及要和你结婚了
I really can't wait to be married.
显而易见 不过你知道吗...
Yeah, that's pretty clear. But you know what?
你还很年轻
You are still young.
甚至我们可能永远不知道你到底有多年轻
And how young, we'll probably never know.
你的人生还很长
But you have your whole life ahead of you,
所以不必急于一时 对吧
so there's no need to rush into things, right?
但如果是真爱...
But if it's true love...
当然 不过...
Well, sure. But--
等等
Wait a minute.
如果真是呢
What if it is?
谁知道施密加屯觉得真爱是什么
Who knows what Schmigadoon thinks is true love, right?
也许你就是我离开的方法
Maybe you're my way out.
离开什么的方法
Your way out of what?
施密加屯 欢迎再来
但你为什么现在要来过桥
But why are you so set on walking across the footbridge right now?
有什么浪漫的理由吗
Is there some kind of romantic reason?
是的 没错
Yes, exactly.
有浪漫的理由 非常浪漫
There's a romantic reason. A very romantic reason.
是什么
What is it?
-我现在就告诉你 -好
- I'm gonna tell you right now. - Okay.
是什么理由
What the reason is.
因为这...真的很浪漫
Because it's... really romantic.
在我家这叫做
It's something my family calls
"斯金纳直觉"
the "Skinner Feeling".
斯金纳直觉
The Skinner Feeling?
是的 50多年前
Yes! So, over 50 years ago,
我的爷爷母去本地的小桥上散步
my grandparents went for a walk to the local footbridge.
他们走过桥后
And after they crossed,
就径直走到了法♥院♥去结婚
they ended up walking straight to the courthouse to get married.
爷爷说当他同奶奶走过桥后
Grandpa said once he crossed that bridge with Grandma,
心里便认定 毫无疑问这就是真爱
he knew, without a doubt, it was true love.
-这就是斯金纳直觉 -没错
- It was the Skinner Feeling. - That's right.
毋庸置疑
And it's not to be doubted.
只有斯金纳家的人能够感受到
And only a Skinner can feel it.
其他人永远不会知道
And the other person can never know
他有没有感受到
whether he does or doesn't.
乔什·斯金纳医生
Dr. Josh Skinner,
这是我听过的最美好的事情
that is the most beautiful thing that I've ever heard.
太好了 现在作为传统
Great. And so now it's tradition
斯金纳家的人要和另一半共同走过这座桥
for a Skinner to cross a bridge with their betrothed
来确定他们是否为真爱
so they can be sure that it's true love.
我很荣幸自己能和你共同过桥
Well, I for one would be honored to cross this bridge with you.
-好啊 太好了 来吧 -好的
- All right, sounds great. Let's do this. - Okay.
该死
Damn it.
你感觉到了吗
So did you feel it?
就像你的爷爷斯金纳那样
Just like your Grandpa Skinner did?
很遗憾 并没有
Actually, no.
-抱歉 贝希 -可是...