红橡树（2014）

我们不会发♥生♥关♥系♥
There's zero intercourse.
我只需要射在杯子里
All I have to do is jizz in a cup.
你为什么要这么做
And why exactly are you doing this?
因为她老公不育
Because her husband is shooting blanks,
我为他们感到遗憾
and I feel sorry for them.
而且 我射一次他们就给我150
Also, they're paying me 150 bucks a squirt,
如果她那个 你懂的 还有大额奖励
with a big bonus when she gets a... you know.
怀孕
Bun in the Easy-Bake.
-蜜丝缇无所谓吗 -没有
- And Misty's okay with this? - No. No.
她不知道
She doesn't know.
我有点自责 但我想这是为了她
I feel bad, but I figure I'm doing this for her, so...
慢着 让你教授怀孕
Wait, how is impregnating your professor
怎么是为了蜜丝缇
doing something for Misty?
因为我要用这钱给她买♥♥订婚戒指
Because I'm gonna use the money to buy her an engagement ring.
什么鬼 你刚说你不急的
What the hell? You just said you weren't in any rush.
不急着要孩子 没错
To have kids, no.
但我得采取行动 让我们的关系
But I got to do something to take things
更进一步 不然我可能会失去她
to the next level, or I could lose her.
是因为罗恩医生 对吗
It's about Dr. Ron, isn't it?
你没看到他 他看上去
You didn't see this guy. He looks like
在他不做牙医的时候 他在惩奸除恶
when he's not fixing teeth, he's fighting crime.
威勒 你干过不少蠢事 但这个
Wheeler, you've done some stupid shit, but this is, like,
蠢出天际了
Olympic-caliber stupidity.
你不知道这是什么感觉
You don't know what it's like, man.
你总是有性感的女友
You've always had hot girlfriends.
现在除外
Present moment excepted.
我这样的男人 一般是把不到蜜丝缇那样的女生的
Guys like me, we don't usually get girls like Misty,
不提高表现的话
and we definitely don't hold onto them
-就别想留住她们 -这不是提高
- without stepping up our game. - This isn't stepping up.
你这是穷途末路 你会搞砸的
This is acting desperate, and you're gonna fuck things up.
至少我有所行动
Yeah, well, at least I'm doing something
而不是坐在这自怨自艾
and not just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
你什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
当我没说
Forget it.
不 说出来
No, go ahead. Say it.
自从那个混♥蛋♥德里克把你的影片盘批得一文不值后
Ever since that dickweed Derek shit on your reel,
你就像只被阉♥割♥的狗一样
you've been moping around like a dog
没精打采
that just got his nuts cut off.
-你想我怎么做 -生气 采取行动
- What do you expect me to do? - Get angry. Do something!
我很生气啊
Oh, I'm getting angry, all right.
我希望你拿到你的奖励
You know, I hope you get your bonus,
因为你要是交了该死的房♥租就好了
because it'd be nice if you paid your part of the fucking rent.
一头多臂的大象
An elephant with so many arms.
好奇他们是拜它呢还是给它扔花生
Wonder if they pray to him or they just toss him peanuts?
-山姆 安静 -我开玩笑呢
- Sam, hush. - I'm just teasing.
我觉得上帝有幽默感
I think that God has a sense of humor.
他们的也许没有
Well, theirs might not.
在我看来
Well, the way I see it...
天上只有一个神
there's only one Guy Upstairs.
对印度人来说 祂看上去像小飞象
To the Hindus, He looks like Dumbo.
对浸信会教友来说 祂看上去像肯尼·罗根斯
To the Baptists, He looks like Kenny Loggins.
对犹太人来说
And to the Jews...
对犹太人来说 祂看上去像伦纳德·伯恩斯坦
to the Jews, He looks like Leonard Bernstein.
但到头来
But at the end of the day,
我觉得所有祈祷都寄往了一个地址
I think all the prayers go to one postal address.
你与众不同 山姆·迈尔斯
You are an unusual man, Sam Meyers.
他来了
Oh, here he is.
-你好吗 -很好
- How are you? - Good.
-我是大卫 -很高兴终于见到你
- I'm David. - So nice to finally meet you.
-我也是 -大卫 帮我们点餐
- Likewise. - David, do me a favor. Order for us.
我们从没吃过印度菜
We've never had Indian before.
好的 让我
Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. Let me, uh...
大卫一向是个大胆的吃货
David's always been a very adventurous eater.
他什么都往嘴里放 哪怕在他还是婴儿的时候
He'll put anything in his mouth, even as a baby.
放蜡笔 虫子
Put in crayons, bugs.
有次甚至放了狗屎
One time, right, even put in dog dirt.
-爸 -山姆 别让他难堪
- Dad. - Sam, don't you go embarrassing him.
这是我工作 我必须的
It's my job. I have to.
如果可以的话
Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me,
我去上个厕所
I'm gonna go sneak off to the ladies'.
你还好吗
You okay?
没事
Fine.
威勒和我吵了一架
Wheeler and I got in a fight.
室友啊
Roommates.
你觉得怎么样
So, what do you think?
我们先吃萨莫萨饼吧
Uh, we should probably start with the samosas.
不不 我是问你对雪莉的看法
No, no, no, about Shirley.
很好 非常好
Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah. Really nice.
你不介意她是
Yeah. Hey, you don't mind that she's, uh...
你不介意她是黑人吗
Well, you're not upset that, you know, she's black?
我为什么会介意
Why would I be upset?
我就知道你不会的
I knew that you wouldn't be.
我只是不想
It's just I didn't want
让你措手不及
to spring this on you without warning.
我不需要警告
I don't need warning.
我知道
I know.
好的
Okay.
打扰下 瑞贝卡
E- Excuse me, Rebecca.
能借一步说话吗
May I have a word, please?
我们要去吃晚餐
We were just about to go in to dinner.
很快就好
It will only take a moment.
你先去吧 我马上来
You go on ahead. I'll- I'll catch up.
什么事
What is it?
日本人给出价了吗
Have the Japanese made their offer yet?
嗯 岛田先生和他的合伙人
Yes. Mr. Shimada and his partners
给出了一个很高的价格
have made a rather generous one.
所以现在怎么办
So what happens now?
几周后董事会让全体会员
Well... the board brings it to membership for a vote
进行投票
in the next few weeks.
我能求你个事吗
I wonder if I could ask you a favor.
帮我给他们说说美言几句
Would you put in a good word on my behalf?
我知道通常来说他们会想
I know that ordinarily they would be inclined
用自己的职业教练来替代我
to replace me with a teaching pro of their own,
但有了你的推荐后
but perhaps with your recommendation,
他们可能留下我
they might see fit to keep me on.
纳瑟 我
Oh, Nasser, I...
我以为你知道
I thought you knew.
你以为我知道什么
You thought I knew what?
岛田先生和他的合伙人没兴趣
Mr. Shimada and his partners aren't interested
接手管理红橡树
in taking over the management of Red Oaks.
他们想关闭俱乐部
They intend to close down the club.
你说什么
I beg your pardon?
他们想要的不是俱乐部而是土地
It's not the club they want, it's the land- -
开♥发♥成住♥宅♥区
for a housing development.
我懂了
I see.
看来我的日语
Well, it would appear that all my Japanese language lessons
都白学了
were for naught.
我很遗憾
I'm sorry.
我先失陪了
Would you excuse me, please?
我得去更新我的简历
I need to go update my résumé.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Thanks.
要想去剧院的话我们得赶快了
Well, we better shake a leg if we're gonna make it to the theater.
再见 大卫
Mm. Well, good night, David.
很荣幸认识你
It was such a pleasure.
希望很快就能再见到你
Yeah, I hope I see you again soon.
你要回公♥寓♥吗
You going back to the apartment?
-我想去散个步 -好 你开心点
- Thought I might take a walk. - Okay, well, you have fun.
-替我向威勒问好 -我会的
- Say hey to Wheeler. - I will.
好
Okay.