扑克脸（2023）

Poker Face S01E05

Part 1 Feb. 19, 2023, 9:51 p.m.

2 3 4
MAN: Two, three, four...
你又来了
* Here you come again*
你说你是我的朋友
*And you say that you're my friend*
但我知道你的目的
But I know why you're here*
她想知道我的感受
火 She wants to know how I feel*
告诉她我很开心
Tell her that I am happy
告诉她我很欢愉
*Tell her that I am gay*
告诉她我心甘情愿
*Tell her Iwouldn't have it*
别无他想
*Any other way*
人们都在说
People have been talking*
不这这这这太蒂谬
Woman No tha tha that s just that s ridiculous.
我都说了它又变成行星了
Woman 2: I'm telling you, it's a plainet again.
冥王星一直都是行星
Pluto was always a planet.
不有段时间不是现在又是了
No, it wasn t. Now it is again.
你这就好像是在跟我说
This is like when you tried to tell me
草莓是坚果一样
a strawberry is a nut.
-草莓就是坚果 -不是的
Strawberry is a nut. - Irene: No.
种子长在外面的都是坚果
Anything with seeds on the outside is a nut?
-比如覆盆子-是坚果
A raspberry? - A nut.
我恨死你了
I hate your cunt heart.
-我的炸土豆丸子好了 -不错
My tots are done Oh, whoopie.
所以我们今晚看什么
So, what are we going to watch tonight?
你想继续看《亢奋》吗
You want to keep going with"Euphoria"?
那些觉得是自己发明了做♥爱♥的小鬼吗不用了谢谢
Kids who think they invented fucking? No, thank you.
靠他妈的弗莱彻家的把遥控器拿走了
Oh shit. Goddamn Fletchers have the remote.
喂弗莱彻家的我们要看《创智赢家》
Joyce: Hey, Fletchers. We're gonna watch "Shark Tank. "
少数服从多数
Majority rules the remote.
服从个屁
Majority rules my foot up your ass.
这什么垃圾节目
What is this garbage?
所以你看完了《奎恩茨福德郡谋杀案》
Joyce: So you finish"Quaintsfordshire Murders"
还想让我们看挪威的死人吗
and nowfyou want us to care about who dies in Norway?
-嘘 -凶手是金发那个
Fletchers: Shh! - Irene: The blonde did it.
死婊♥子♥们
Bitches.
艾琳你的体征检测器充电了吗
Ooh, Irene, did you charge your heartcuff?
当然了比利
I sure did, Billy.
很好笑因为我这里看到
That's hilarious because, um, I'm showing:
艾琳零格电没有信♥号♥♥
Irene. Zero percent. No transmission.
你想监控我的一举一动
Oh, you want to track my every movement,
这样每次我去厕所
so you know every time I go to the bathroom
你都可以靠想象我
so you can jerk it to the knowledge
来打飞机
that I'm pooping.
这不是定位系统艾琳
It's not a GPS, Irene,
它只是监控你的生命体征而已
all it does is track your vital signs.
我不会让你们像给狗装芯片一样监控我的
Not gonna chip me like some dog.
汪
Woof!
最后一次机会
Betty: Last chance.
最后一个动物园旅行的报名机会
Last chance to sign up for the zoo trip.
当然了好极了
Oh, sure. Great.
但是等等
Oh, wait, though.
但我们赶得及回来换尿布
Will we get back in time to change our diapers
看天线宝宝吗
and to watch"Teletubbies"?
我们不是小婴儿贝蒂
We're not fuckin' toddlers, Betty.
早见过鸸鹋了
We've seen emus before.
如果你们不能
Betty: If you can't make an effort
更加积极参与社区活动
to be a more positive community presence,
我可能得向管理部门
I may have to report
举报你们的非法药物种植了
your illegal drug plants to the administration.
不不不
No, no, no, no.
-不不不 -我们那是救命药
No, no, no. Our life- saving medicine.
我知道你没得青光眼
I know you don't have glaucoma.
而且我很讨厌
And I, and I hate this
你们玩的这诡异的中国游戏
witchy Chinese game you're playing.
这都什么咒符吗
What are these, runes?
没错贝蒂
That's right, Betty.
我们是喜欢药物的撒旦崇拜者
We're Satanists who love drugs.
她真是烦死人了
What a fucking cop.
好了
Alright now.
我们把你安排在了三楼
So we have you on our third floor.
那里是医疗区
That's our medical care unit.
我可以带你转转我们这里
I can give you a full tour of the facilities.
然后帮你戴上体征检测器
: And get you set up on our heartcuff system.
但我先送你上去安顿好吧
But I'll let you get settled in first.
你和我想的一样吗
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
我们得把那狗♥娘♥养♥的杀了
We have to kill that motherfucker.
倾倒
*Comin'down*
倾倒
*Comin'down*
倾倒
Comin' down*
我为之倾倒
*Yes, I'm comin'down*
满意了吗
We happy?
倾倒倾倒倾倒
*Imcomin'down, down, down, down, down*
倾倒倾倒倾倒
*I'mcomin'down, down, down, down, dowq*
心脏病发
*Comin'down with a heartache*
我没病却体温火热
*I ain't sick but I got a fever*
血压升高
Blood pressure's runnin'high*
脉搏异常夜不能寐
*Pulse ain't right, I can't sleep at night*
这就是原囚
And here's the reason why*
小心点恩哈特
Watch out, Earnhardt.
这可不是碰碰车
This ain't bumper cars.
真的很抱歉等一下艾琳
I am so sorry. Wait a minute, Irene.
可能我只是走太快了
I guess I was just going a little bit too fastl
-你没事吧 -没事
You alright? - Yeah.
你可真是神级赛车手
Mario Andretti over here.
医生无法确诊
*A doctor can't diagnose*
因为当心碎的时候
Cause when a heart starts to fall apart
听诊器是听不出来的
* You can't hear through the stethoscope*
我这是怎么了我说这很简单
* What's wrong with me? I said it's a simple fact*
我觉得你不会回来了
*I don't believe you're ever comin'back*
我为之倾倒
*I'mcomin'down, down*
我为之倾倒
*I'm comin'down, down*
倾倒
*Comin'down, down*
倾倒
火 Comin' down, down*
倾倒
*I'm coming down, down*
倾倒
大 Down, down, down*
乔伊斯你能推我去厕所吗
Joyce, can you wheel me over to the shitter?
-你又要上厕所吗 -噫
You have to go again? Woman: Ugh.
动作快点
Hurry it up in there.
车到了
The bus is here.
动物又不会跑
The animals aren't going anywhere.
我们不能错过猩猩表演啊
We can't miss the orangutan show.
她可厉害了
She's very impressive.
贝蒂魔术贴你都觉得厉害
Betty, you think Velcro is impressive.
我真的很高兴
I'm so glad
你回来了
you came back.
已经11点10分了车要走了
It's 11: 10. The bus is going to leave.
我得上厕所她到底在干什么
I got to piss. What the hell is she doing in there?
我也不知道怎么说
I don't know what to tell you people.
她腹泻
She has diarrhea.
到此为止我受够了
That's it. I've had it.
车已经好了
Woman: The bus is ready.
贝蒂贝蒂
Betty. Bettyl
很好
Oh. Good.
你要来帮我擦屁♥股♥吗
You gonna help me wipe?
我下面又裂了
Because my crevices have crevices.
-让让 -终于好了
Excuse me. Finally!
有什么入不了的
Big deal:
各位注意
Man: Attention.
请苔藓橡树养老院的客人们
Would our guests from Mossy Oaks retirement
到灵长动物区
please meet the zookeeper liaison
找动物园联♥系♥人
in the primate area.
梅兰妮要开始表演了