活在当下（2017）

One Day at a Time S01E10

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2020, 9:52 a.m.

Hey, Pen, you busy? Yes. My mom is at the opera with
小佩你在忙吗? 是啊我妈和伯科威茨医生去看歌♥剧了
Dr. Berkowitz, both kids are out of the house
孩子们都不在家
and I am finally enjoying some time to myself.
我终于可以愉快地一个人待一会了
Ooh, wine and coupons. Been there.
红酒加上优♥惠♥券我也这么做过
Just substitute wine with whiskey, and coupons with more whiskey.
只是把红酒换成威士忌优♥惠♥券也换成更多威士忌
Did you want something? Just to share some amazing news.
你是想干嘛? 有劲爆的消息想告诉你
I am... unplugged.
我要开始过不插电生活了
Yeah. No more Internet, no social media, not even a phone.
没有互联网没有社交媒体甚至连电♥话♥也没有
Anyway, I really need to use your computer.
总之我真的要借你电脑用一下
That was quick.
你倒也是快
Why don't you use your own laptop? I locked it in my safe.
你怎么不用自己的笔记本? 我把它锁在保险箱里了
So?
然后呢?
Combination to my safe is on my laptop.
保险柜密♥码♥在我的笔记本里
You didn't think to write it down...
你没想过把它写在...
We all wish we had the last five minutes of our life back, okay?
我们全都希望时光倒流五分钟好吗?
I'm with you there!
五分钟前我也和你在一起啊!
Anyway, I need to find a new place to get my eyebrows threaded.
总之我要找个修眉毛的新去处
Oh, you can just do everything else silently.
你做什么都行只要你安静如鸡
Whoa!
哇!
Schneider, you came here to watch porn? No!
施耐德你到这里来就是为了看黄♥片♥? 不是的!
Why won't it stop?
为什么它停不下来?
No, I don't wanna chat with you!
不我不想和你聊天!
What the hell is wrong with you?
你这人什么毛病?
Oh, come on, Pen. No need to cover.
得了小佩你不用掩饰的
I'm just happy you weren't
原来你不是真的坐在那
actually sittin' there clipping coupons.
就为了剪优♥惠♥券啊我真是为你开心
And a threesome, eh?
还是一部双飞动作片啊?
Get your freak on, boo!
上啊去滚床单呗!
Shut up, that's not my porn.
闭嘴才不是我下的黄♥片♥
It's your computer. No, it's not my...
这是你的电脑不是这不是我的...
It's Alex's.
是亚历克斯的
I'll just use the old eyebrow-threading place.
我还是回老地方修眉毛吧
Oh.
噢
My baby's watching porn.
我的孩子在看小黄♥片♥
My sweet boy is becoming a gross man!
我的小心肝要变成一个恶心的男人了!
But, hey, silver lining, it's normal porn.
但是好消息是这是普通的小黄♥片♥啊
A threesome is not normal.
双飞小♥电♥影♥才不普通
Okay, fine. It's aspirational.
好吧双飞是男孩子梦寐以求的事
How do I talk to him about this? Uh... you don't.
我要怎么和他谈这件事? 嗯你不用跟他谈
I'm not looking forward to this, either.
我也不期待这种事会发生啊
But I have to because he's obviously curious.
但是我不得不去谈因为很明显他很好奇啊
And I don't want it to get
并且我不想让他认为
stuck in his brain that this is what sex is.
性♥爱♥是这个样子的
Yeah. He'd be in for a long series of disappointments.
是啊他会经历很长一段时间的失望
What kinda sex talk did your parents give you?
你♥爸♥妈是怎么对你进行性教育的?
Because I wanna do the opposite of that.
因为我想拿他们当反面教材
Well, Father believed it's
我爸相信
best to have this kinda discussion in a car
这种对话最好发生在车里
because you don't have to make eye contact.
这样就不用有眼神交流了
Plus, you're traveling in
加上你们在往同一个方向前进
the same direction, which fosters intimacy.
这样就会越来越亲密了啊
That's actually good advice.
这建议不错
I was expecting some unrelatable rich-guy story.
我还以为你会说一个不相关的土豪版故事
So we're in the Bentley with our chauffeur, Paco.
当时我们和司机帕科一起坐在一辆宾利里
Father said it's time to have the talk.
我爸说是时候谈谈这件事了
We came to the next stoplight.
我们等红灯的时候
He hopped out, Paco told me everything.
我爸下了车然后帕科就给我上了一课
I need a Paco.
我需要帕科
I got a cousin named Paco, but he's an idiot.
我有一个堂兄叫帕科但是他太蠢了
Ay, it's not fair that I'm stuck giving both sex talks.
啊好不公平啊两个孩子的性教育不该都由我来做啊
Alex was supposed to be Victor's job.
亚历克斯那部分应该是维克托的工作
I did my part with Elena. How'd it go?
我已经教育过埃琳娜了怎么样?
Not great.
不怎么样
She asked me what a period was when she was seven.
她七岁的时候问我月经是什么
I didn't get the period talk till I was 12.
我十二岁之前都不知道那是什么
Paco just called it "Shark Week."
帕科把那称作"鲨鱼周"
Well, they say you should
他们说父母应该
answer every question honestly, so I did.
诚实回答每个问题所以我说了实话
And I ended up going from periods into the whole sex talk.
结果从月经直接谈到了性生活
Then, Elena said... "Cool! What's an exclamation point?"
埃琳娜下一个问题是 "酷! 惊叹号♥是什么?"
Lucky she didn't ask about a colon.
她没问你什么是灌肠就算你走运了
Sorry, it's just fun to hear about how you blew it.
不好意思听你亲"口"搞砸这件事真是太有趣了
It's not like I had a great role model.
我没有一个好榜样
My mom's sex talk was her handing me a white handkerchief
我妈和我谈的时候就给了我一块白手帕
and telling me it was my virginity.
告诉我这就是我的贞操
"Lupita, nobody wants to marry a used handkerchief."
"露皮塔没有人想娶一条用过的手帕"
"So, you must keep men from sneezing in it."
"所以你得阻止男人们往上面擤鼻涕"
Hello.
你好
Here comes Professor Love now.
恋爱教授来了
So how was the opera? Magnificent.
歌♥剧好看吗? 超赞
Oh, when Violetta died of consumption...
噢当维奥莱塔死于摄入...
Hey, hey.
喂喂喂
Spoilers.
剧透了
Sorry, it's just that her death scene was so...
对不起只是她死的时候真是...
Aw. Aw!
哎呀呀!
Here, you may have my handkerchief.
给用我的手帕吧
Thank you.
谢谢你
I feel dirty.
感觉好脏啊
The singing was very good.
歌♥唱部分非常好
But the choreography could have used a little tweaking.
但是舞蹈应该再多点扭动
I gave my number to the usher. I'm sure he'll be calling.
我把电♥话♥号♥码给了引座员我相信他肯定会打电♥话♥给我的
Uh, what was the name of that soprano?
那个女高音的名字是什么来着?
Oh, do you mind if I just look it up quickly?
你介意我查一下吗很快的啦?
No!
不行!
Oh, my stars.
噢哟我的天了噜
I feel compelled to tell you that this is not my computer.
我觉得有必要告诉你们这不是我的电脑
No, it's Alex's.
不这是亚历克斯的电脑
That's what we've been talking about.
我们正在谈这个问题
What? What about Alex?
什么? 亚历克斯怎么了?
Mami, don't worry. It's not really a big deal.
妈别担心不是什么大事
Alex was watching a racy movie.
亚历克斯正在看老司机飙车动作片
Cars 2?
赛车总动员2?
More like Cars 3.
更像是赛车总动员3
Okay, let's stop talking about this.
好了我们别谈这个了
Yeah, whatever it was, don't worry.
是啊不管怎么样别担心
You know, it's normal for
你知道的啦
a teenage boy and it's healthy to be curious.
青春期男孩这样很正常对此好奇证明他很健康
I'm curious. I wanna see how that movie ends.
我很好奇我想知道电影的结局是什么
Boy, the world has changed.
小伙子这世界变了
I... Just think how difficult
你想想看在文艺复兴时期
it was to see a naked woman in the Renaissance.
看一位裸体女性超级难的啊
You had to pay someone a fortune
你得付一大笔钱让艺术家
to create a giant nude
画一幅巨大的裸画
painting that you couldn't hide from your wife.
这画大得你都没法藏起来不被老婆发现
When I was a kid, there was an adult section
我小时候音像店后面
in the back of the video store.
有一个成人区
Behind the beads.
藏在珠帘后面
I'd always chicken out and just rent a Jane Fonda workout tape.
我总是临阵退缩最后只租简·方达的健身录影带
Still worked.
现在还能放
Still works.
现在还有用
That's the thing. It used to be hard to get.
就是这样以前很难获取
Now there are no restrictions.
现在没有限制了
You can get a Renaissance painting right on your computer.
你可以直接在电脑上看文艺复兴时期的画作
All of this is exactly why I need to talk to Alex.
这就是我为什么要找亚历克斯谈谈
You know, with the Internet, kids see too much too soon.
现在有了网络孩子们了解到太多东西对性事接触得也太早了
Then porn makes them grow up
爱情动作片让他们以为
thinking that's what sex is supposed to be like.
做♥爱♥就是像影片里演出来的那样
How bad was this movie that papito was watching?
我的乖孙子看的那部到底有多糟?
Awful. Pretty tame.
糟透了无聊透顶
Okay. Show me.
好了我来看看