剧集 | 活在当下(2017) | 导航列表
but spring is a comin', girl.
但是小姑娘呀 春天就要来了
And all of this...
所有的这些...
is about to melt.
都会融化的
That's silly. You look amazing!
太愚蠢了 你看上去很棒!
Right now, but not for long.
只是现在看上去棒啊 但不会持续很久
I mean, I have one slight advantage,
我有个小小的优势
'cause I got the Latina patina.
因为我有拉丁外表
Because there's something about our skin, you know.
因为我们的皮肤有其神妙之处
A white girl like yourself's gotta start worrying around 30.
像你一样的白人妹子得在30岁左右开始担心这种问题
How old are you? Thirtythree.
你多大了? 33
I'm sorry, honey.
亲爱的 真是抱歉了
But this is why I have to
但这正是为什么
force myself out there to meet Adam Bennett.
我得逼着自己来见亚当·本内特
Gimme your vibe. Oh, hello.
告诉我 你看到他的第一感觉 喔 你好啊
He's cute, right?
他很可爱 对吧?
Yeah, yeah.
是是是
Maybe he's too cute. Maybe he won't think I'm cute.
但也许他太迷人了 他可能会觉得我不咋的
Maybe I'm not even a snowman anymore.
也许我甚至都不是个雪人了
Maybe I've melted. Michelle!
米歇尔 也许我早已融化了!
Am I just a puddle, a carrot, and a magic hat?
我是不是只是个泥潭 胡萝卜或者一顶魔法帽?
Oh, no, I can't. It's not for you.
不 我不能喝 这不是给你的
I don't know why I'm so freaked out!
我不明白我为什么会这么恐慌!
I was fine yesterday.
我昨天还好好的
How the hell do I do this?
我到底该怎么做啊?
Do I like? Do I swipe? Do I put someone in my cart?
点赞? 评论? 还是把某个人放进我的购物车里?
It's like watching a baby bird learn to fly.
这就像是看着一只幼鸟在学习飞翔
Everybody I know is either married
我认识的人要么结婚了
or I'm too embarrassed to ask them.
要么就是我没好意思去问
So, you were my only option.
所以 你是我唯一的选择了
I hear ya.
我听到了哟
And I'm honored.
我很荣幸
Help. All right, all right.
帮帮我 好啦好啦 没事的
Are you sure you wanna do the online thing?
你真的确定你想要网恋吗?
For you, I'd recommend a more old-fashioned approach.
是你的话 我想推荐一个更土的方法
Go to a coffee shop,
去咖啡店
make eye contact with an appealing stranger,
和来电的陌生人进行眼神交流
then, follow them home.
然后跟着他们回家
Follow them home? Yeah. Or to their car.
跟着他们回家? 对啊 或者去他们车上
You could try a bathroom stall, but that's a little sketch.
你也可以在浴室试试看 但这就有点草率了
I mean, listen, you do you, but you're a mother now.
我的意思是 听着 你是可以随心所欲 但你现在是当妈妈的人了
I'm not looking to have sex with someone.
我不是要找人约炮
Yeah, let's not put that in your profile.
好 那我们不在你的简介里写这个
I get it, you mean a real date.
我懂了 你说的是真正意义上的约会
Yes, it's been 20 years.
是的 已经20年了
You know, back then, online dating meant
你知道的 在那时候 网恋就是
hooking up while waiting in line to buy Boyz II Men tickets.
一边排队买♥♥"大人小孩双拍档"的票一边和别人亲热调情
I helped turn a couple of boys to men.
我帮一堆小男孩成为了真男人
Okay.
好吧
Okay.
够了
Ooh, ooh, use this picture for my profile. I look cute there.
放这张照片当头像 这张显得我好看
So do your kids. No one wants to see your kids.
照片里你的孩子们也挺好看的 没人想看到你的孩子
That's, like, a second date revealer.
头像就是你的二次约会探测器
If you're good, a never reveal.
如果你够棒的话 就永远都不会有第二次啦
Right, right, lie about everything. This is good.
好好好 全部都撒谎 这挺好
Do you have some paper so I could write this down?
你有纸吗 这样我能记下来
I'm just gonna do a little Photoshop,
我只是需要P一下图
replace the kids with a bicycle, so he thinks you exercise.
把这些孩子P成一辆单车 这样他就会觉得你有去健身
And... we're live.
然后呢...我们上线吧
Okay, what about this guy? He went to Brown.
好了 这个人怎么样? 他在布朗大学念过书
Yeah, but he's posing with a tiger.
挺好的 但是他在和一只老虎摆拍
Yeah, but he's holding nunchucks, so he's awesome!
也是 但是他拿着双节棍 所以真的超正的!
But not for you. Okay.
但是不适合你 好的
You might also want to avoid
你可能也不想要
guys who post their abs, but not their face.
那些晒他们的小腹而不是脸的家伙
And anyone who says they're an entrepreneur.
还有那些说他们是企业家的
What does your profile say?
你个人简介写的什么?
I am an entrepreneur.
我是一名企业家
Okay, what about this guy? He's a cop.
好吧 那这个男的呢? 他是一个警♥察♥
Okay, a guy in uniform. I'm not uninterested.
制♥服♥男 我超喜欢
He has nice eyes.
他眼睛挺好看
"Adam Bennett."
"亚当·本内特"
And you have a date tonight.
那你今晚上要有约会了
No, wait, what? That was too fast. No, you're too slow.
不 等等 什么? 这也太快了 并不 你已经很慢了
He's probably already forgotten about your date
他有可能已经把你们的约会给忘了
and moved on to someone whose bicycle isn't wearing sneakers.
然后接着去约一个骑着不♥穿♥运动鞋的单车的人了
I'm really bad at Photoshop.
我P图技术真的超烂的
Come on, Pen, you doing this or not?
快点啊 小佩 你到底去还是不去?
Okay, you know what?
好吧 你猜怎么着?
I realized I...
我意识到我...
I didn't think this through at all. I...
我没有认真考虑过这件事 我...
I mean, my mom still thinks I'm married,
我是说 我妈妈还以为我是个已婚妇女
so, you know, she's gonna lose her mind and...
所以 她知道的话一定会发疯的 而且...
Elena might be okay,
埃琳娜也许不会大惊小怪
but Alex, he's still so
但亚历克斯 他还太小
young and this could definitely mess with him.
这件事绝对会非常困扰他的
I don't think I should do it.
我不认为我应该这么做
If my family finds out, it'll be a disaster.
如果我的家人发现了的话 这就会是一场灾难
Maybe just don't tell 'em?
也许只要不告诉他们就好了?
Genius! Let's do this thing!
你真是天才! 那我们就去约约约吧!
Set it up for tomorrow, 7:30. Both kids are busy.
那就定在明天晚上七点半 孩子们那时候都有事
And, Schneider? Yeah?
那 施耐德? 怎么了?
Schneider. Hey! Yeah.
施耐德 嘿! 嗯
All right. Look at me in the eye here.
好吧 看着我的眼睛
Okay?
好的?
My mom, Elena, Alex...
我妈 埃琳娜 亚历克斯...
Nobody can know.
都不能知道
Hey, don't worry, I'll be way too busy to tell them.
嘿 别担心 我一定会忙得忘了告诉他们
Just texted nunchucks guy and I think we're gonna hang.
刚给双节棍男发信息了 我觉得我们能约一约
So then I was like, "Let's do this thing!"
接着我就一脸"我们去做吧!"
I went to Sephora, and bought a tube of mascara,
我去了丝芙兰 买♥♥了一管睫毛膏
so I could get a free makeover.
这样他们就会给我免费化次妆
Hey, did you know that mascara's, like, 14 bucks now?
嘿 你知道那管睫毛膏现在只卖♥♥14刀吗?
Mine was 36.
我那管要36刀呢
Shut your face, my new best friend, Abby!
闭嘴 我最新的挚友艾比!
Hey, can I get that toilet paper I asked for five minutes ago?
嘿 能把五分钟前我就跟你要了的厕纸给我了吗?
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
噢 好的 我很抱歉
Found a jumpsuit for 40 bucks that shows off the...
之前看到一条连体裤 只要40刀 还能展示出我的...
girls!
沟!
Talking about my boobs, Abby!
我在说我的胸啦 艾比!
Anyway...
总之...
curled, sprayed, plucked.
烫了头发 喷了香水 脱了体毛
Abby, I am hairless.
艾比 我现在全身光溜溜啦
And I am here.
还有我在这
Oh, man.
天了噜
I even shaved my lady 'stache.
我甚至还刮掉了小胡子噢
Wait, you can do that? Yes.
等等 你做得到啊? 当然
It doesn't grow back thicker. That's a myth started by Big Wax.
它没有越长越多 这都是脱毛膏带来的奇迹
Oh, look at me.
看看我
Uh...
啊...
when I met my ex, I was wearing sneaks, jeans,
当我遇见我前任的时候 我穿着运动鞋 牛仔裤
a tit tank and a flannel.
一件背心外加一件法兰绒衬衫
I know, it was a better time.
我懂啦 其实那次还算好的了
Wait, are you okay?
等等 你没事吧?
I'm sorry, I thought my boyfriend, Benji,
抱歉 我以为我男朋友苯基
was going to propose to me tonight and he didn't.
今晚打算和我求婚的 结果他没有
All right, come on, Abby.
好了 来吧 艾比
Open up. We gotta hug this out.
开门 我们得抱抱
Are you kidding me?
你在逗我吗?
What?
啥意思?
Sweetheart, look at you!
小宝贝 看看你!
剧集 | 活在当下(2017) | 导航列表