大器晚成（2009）

both in the bedroom and in life in general.
无论是性事还是生活
Sex can be better, judy.
性♥爱♥可以更美好 茱蒂
Our lives can be better--
我们的生活可以更好
You, me, the fucking country.
你 我 这操蛋的国家
In fear is where our orgasm lies...
我们的高♥潮♥淹没在了恐惧中
...Where our happiness lies.
我们的快乐也淹没其中
And that is why we need
所以我们需要
the certified national small business loan!
合法的国家小型企业贷款
And that is why I am offering you,
也因如此 我要提供你
Judy Pearson, the chance to take our class for free.
茱蒂·皮尔森 免费参加我们的课程一次
I want you to attend. You can see what it is we do.
我希望你来参加 你会看到我们要做什么
There's no obligation, no expectation
没有义务 没有负担
And I guarantee you no regrets.
我保证你不会后悔
the whole thing was nuts, from beginning to end.
这事从头到尾都太傻♥逼♥了
But banks and women, well, they work in mysterious ways.
但银行和女人 总是不按照常理出牌
The vulva.
阴♥户♥
Have you considered your vulva?
你们有考虑过自己的阴♥户♥吗
Judy the loan officer and her bank teller friend Joanie--
贷款员茱蒂和她的银行职员朋友乔安妮
Tanya's first orgasmic living class.
这是坦尼娅的首堂高♥潮♥生活课
For years I apologized,
这么多年了 很抱歉
I disregarded myself and my vulva.
我一直忽视自己和自己的阴♥户♥
But not anymore.
但现在不会了
Hold on.
稍等
Oh shit.
操
Sorry, I thought I had this cued up. Just a sec.
抱歉 我以为我已经调好了 稍等
Ladies, some wine?
女士们 来点酒吗
Okay, so, um, yeah.
好了 没错
That's me. And really in just four short weeks,
那是我 说真的 只需短短几周
Uh, you can feel that great too--
你们也能获得同样的快♥感♥
Both in and out of the bedroom.
无论是性事还是生活
That's where we're headed, but, um,
这就是我们的目标
After this we move into the feedback
课后我们会进行课程反馈
And then the practicum.
接着进行实习
But we can skip that for now.
不过现在可以暂且跳过
So any questions? Any thoughts?
有问题吗 有什么想法吗
Yes?
请讲
So you guys want a loan for this?
所以你们是想贷款做这个
Oh yeah yeah. For the set-up,
是的 要安排教室
The utilities and the overhead.
购置教学设备 还有日常经费什么的
But we have a lot of confidence in our program.
但我们对这个项目很有信心
Well, there's the private consultations.
我们还提供私人会诊
What? As my partner said,
什么 正如我搭档所说的
After class.
下课后
well,we run the practicum.
我们会进行实习
Oh I, run the practicum.
我就是负责实习课的
Um, it's where the real money is.
这才是真正的卖♥♥点
We can do an in-house session
我们可以在家进行
Or we could meet at a public place--
也可以在公共场合见面
A restaurant, you know.
比如餐厅什么的
I could wear this suit or I could wear sweatpants.
我可以穿西装 也可以穿运动短裤
You know, whatever makes you feel most comfortable.
总之就是要让你们觉得舒适
I mean, we're really-- we're really very discreet.
我们是很负责的
We can put it all in writing if you like.
你们愿意的话 我们可以立字为据
Joanie, can I talk to you for a minute?
乔安妮 咱们商量两句好吗
Uh, hold on a sec, you guys.
你们稍等
We're just gonna check out the Porch for a second.
我们出去一下 马上回来
Yeah no, it's a lot.
是 确实该商量一下
Yeah. Take your time.
是的 慢慢来
The vulva?!
阴♥户♥
Of all the parts of the human body to pick,
人体有那么多部位能选
Why the vulva? It's a vulva!
为啥选阴♥户♥啊 那是阴♥户♥啊
You think that's gonna get us a loan?
你觉得那能帮我们弄到贷款
It's the vulva, Ray.
那是阴♥户♥ 雷
Do not stigmatize the vulva. That's the whole problem.
别瞧不起阴♥户♥ 重点就在这儿
Why do you have to freak out
为啥每次能有点乐子
every time something fun is about to happen?
你就会受惊抓狂啊
Because my idea of fun
因为我对乐子的理解
and your idea of fun are not the same thing.
和你的理解南辕北辙
I mean come on, private consultation?
拜托 私人会诊
Are you kidding me? It's just a date.
开什么玩笑 只是约个会而已
It is not just a date! Oh, come on.
才不是约会 拜托
It'll be something to laugh about 10 years from now.
这乐子够我们笑足十年了
"Fear is where your orgasm lies."
你的高♥潮♥淹没在了恐惧中
I don't even know what that means.
我都没听懂那是啥意思
It's the word, vulva--
阴♥户♥这词
Not sexy.
太不性感了
we didn't have the loan.
我们没得到贷款
But at least Judy agreed to a date...
但茱蒂起码同意约会了
As long as Joanie was there too.
只要乔安妮陪她一起
Even during the bush administration, when loans were literally--
即使是布♥什♥政♥府♥期间 贷款也像
They were just flying out the door literally.
像传♥单♥一样满天飞
Yeah, the bush years were the boom years.
是啊 布♥什♥当政那几年很景气
I had this guy once
我遇过一个男的
Walk up to my window. And he's got this gun...
走近我负责的窗口 然后用他的枪
It's a squirt gun, okay? I'm sorry.
是水枪 好吧 抱歉
You always leave that part out. ...And he hands me a note:
你总是跳过这点 然后给了我一张字条
"Give me the money or I'll blow your fucking face off."
给我钱 不然就轰掉你脑袋
So I said go ahead, blow my face off.
于是我说 好啊 轰掉我脑袋吧
Anyway, security jumps him, shoots him in the--
然后保安冲向他 射中了他的
What is that? What is that area? Groin!
这是哪 那个词叫什么来着 腹股沟
Jo-- sit down. It's the groin.
乔 快坐下 那叫腹股沟
Now he's doing time at saginaw correctional
现在他在萨吉诺的劳♥教♥所里
And pees into a bag.
只能用袋子尿尿了
Salut! Salut.
干杯 干杯
Wow, it's really hard to be brave
是啊 能这么勇敢真不容易
When you're behind bulletproof glass.
虽然你坐在防弹玻璃后面
In loans, we're just sitting ducks out there.
在我们信贷部 只能像鸭子似的坐在外面
Yeah, quack.
嘎嘎
Quack quack quack quack!
嘎嘎 嘎嘎 嘎嘎 嘎嘎
Quack quack quack quack!
嘎嘎 嘎嘎 嘎嘎 嘎嘎
I'm Judy the sitting duck!
我是鸭子茱蒂
Oh, and salut.
来 干杯
Salut, bottoms up. So I love hearing about the the stories.
干杯 我喜欢听你们的故事
I love hearing you talk about the bank
我喜欢听你们讨论银行
And banking. I mean, anything that you're passionate about,
银行业 以及任何能让你们有激♥情♥的事
I think-- it turns me on.
我觉得 这让我很兴奋啊
You know, passion, Judy?
激♥情♥ 你明白吗 茱蒂
I know what turns me on.
我知道怎样能让我兴奋起来
Yes, thank you. Um um,
好的 谢谢
As we were discussing you know what?
我们刚才说到 对了
I think it's... I just remembered
我觉得 我刚想起来
That I have so much work to do at home, so I'm gonna go
我家里还有很多活儿没干 我先走了
And you guys just have a really good time. What, jude? Come on!
你们好好玩 什么 茱蒂 拜托
Are you wussing out? What about the private consultation?
你要临阵退缩吗 那私人会诊的事呢
You said you'd go first. I'm not "Wussing out."
你说你要先上的 我没有临阵退宿
I don't need a private consultation. You're so repressed.
我不需要私人会诊 你太压抑自己了
I am not repressed.
我没压抑自己
When was the last time you saw a penis?
你上次看到男人的老二是什么时候
Guess what, Joanie.
你猜怎么着 乔安妮
I see penises all the time. I see them all the time.
我经常都能看到男人的老二
You know what? Fine. I will go upstairs and I will--
好啊 我要上楼去 我要...
Go! Go do what you always do. Go fuck him upstairs.
去啊 释放你的本性 上楼干♥他♥去吧
That's right, judy. I'll fuck him.
没错 茱蒂 我要干♥他♥
You can fuck yourself.
你滚吧
Fuck your-- fuck yourself!
操♥你♥妈♥ 滚
No, I am not repressed! I'm not.
我没压抑 我没有
Just because I don't shove
就因为我没像她一样
my crotch into peoples' faces like her?
把自己下♥体♥往人脸上帖吗
I'm not repressed. God, I hate her!
我没压抑 靠 我讨厌她
When we go out together, I get left behind every time, always.
每次跟她出去 我最后都会落单 每次都会