伦敦生活（2016）

You know, I'd like to say
我刚试着去救一条小狗
I was trying to save a puppy, or something,
但在地铁外我发现我的外套
but I just got my coat
和别人的外套缠上了
caught on someone else's coat outside the Tube.
我们俩试着把衣服分开 当时真的超级尴尬
When we went to separate ourselves, it was fucking intense.
我不得不把我外套给他了 我们去做什么
I had to give him my coat. What are we doing?
是我姐姐的生日惊喜派对
It's my sister's surprise birthday party.
哦 我的天 我爱惊喜 继续说
Oh, my God, I love surprises, go on.
但我在想 我要先给她买♥♥个礼物
But I just thought... I need to get her a present first.
哦 上帝啊 你要给她买♥♥什么呢
Oh, my God, what are you going to get her?
我知道有一家漂亮的香皂店
I know this beautiful soap shop.
我是说 看到它你就马上想去洗澡
I mean, this stuff just gets you straight in the bath.
哦 我是在想给她买♥♥
Oh, I was thinking more like...
哦 耶 总是这种地方
Oh, yeah... these places all the time...
那么 好吧
So... Yup.
-你还好吗 -嗯
- Are you OK? - Yeah.
抱歉 我不会逛很久的
Sorry, I won't be long.
哦 不 不
Oh, no, no.
嗨
Hi.
-嗨 -嗨
- Hi. - Hi.
嘿 你想找什么样的
Hey, what are you craving?
哦 非常廉价的快♥感♥
Oh, just a really, really cheap thrill.
-你自己用吗 -哦 你好
- For you? - Oh, hello.
不是的 是给她姐姐买♥♥的
No, it's for her sister.
是给我那个性事不满的姐姐的
It's for my very sexually frustrated sister.
一只简单的小兔子就可以啦
Just a basic bunny would be great.
好的 嗯 我去找找 你可以继续逛逛
OK, well, I'll see what I can dig out and you go browse.
谢谢
Thanks.
哦 我觉得你只要
Oh, I think you just...
开关在底部
do it at the bottom.
这玩意好在它会扭
It's all in the twist.
我知道
I know.
你真的应该买♥♥一个
You should totally get one of those.
-阴♥道♥ -是啊
- A vagina? - Yeah.
哦 我早就有一个了
Oh, I've already got one.
真的吗 你有 不
Really? You have... No...
你有一个这个
You've got one?
我去哪儿都带着它
I take it with me everywhere.
你说谎吧 你不会现在身上就有一个吧
You lie. You don't have one on you now?
是啊 这家伙看来是听不懂啊
Yep. Never going to get it.
在哪儿
Where?
-我的阴♥道♥在哪里 -是的
- Where's my vagina? - Yeah.
哈 你难倒我了
Ha, you got me.
我才不会随身带着阴♥道♥呢
I don't carry a vagina around with me,
那样的话也太勾引人了
that would be way too provocative.
他还是没听明白
Didn't get it.
好了 这一个呢特别的好
OK, so this one's really great.
现在是半价出♥售♥ 这件很凶残
It's half price because it's quite relentless.
名字是钻穴者
It's called the Burrower.
基本上你没有高♥潮♥的话它是不会停下来的
Basically it doesn't stop until you've cum.
失陪一下
Excuse me.
哦 别担心他 他过一会就好了
Oh, don't worry about him, he'll be fine in a minute.
哦 上帝啊 我爱死惊喜派对了
Oh, my God, I love surprise parties.
爱死了 爱死了 爱死了
I love them, I love them, I love them.
你父母会到场吗
Will your parents be there?
-我爸爸可能会过来 -哦 好紧张
- My dad might be... - Oh, intense.
家长都很喜欢我
Parents adore me.
我想让你在今晚结束前就深深地爱上我
I want you to be totally in love with me by the end of the night.
好吗
Ok?
那是谁
Who's that?
-哦 那是我姐姐 -哦 不
- Oh, it's my sister. - Oh, no!
-我们会破坏惊喜的 -不 不 我们
- We're going to ruin the surprise. - No, no... we...
不 不 不
No, no, no.
-不用 说真的 -蹲下来
- No, really. - Get down.
没关系的
It will be fine.
惊喜吧
Surprise!
哦 上帝啊 太谢谢你们了
Oh, my God, thank you so much.
我太意外了
I'm so surprised.
她表演得真好
She's very good.
多好啊 你真是有个好丈夫
How divine. What a lovely husband you have.
那么他现在在哪里呢
Where is he then?
啊 忙着呢
Ah. Busy.
我太惊讶啊
I'm blown away.
我一点都没有想到
I had absolutely no idea.
希尔德加德 我能和你说两句话吗
Hildegard, can I just grab you for a second?
-你好 -你好
- Hello. - Hello.
哦 爸爸 嗨
Oh, Dad, hi.
谢谢你问我 我其实是一个纪录片制♥作♥人
Thank you for asking, yeah, I'm essentially a documentary maker.
纪录片
Docs.
哦 真的吗 你最近的项目是什么
Oh, really? What is your latest project?
这个吗 先生 我对人生很感兴趣
Well, sir, I'm interested in life,
还有人生是怎样在很多方面影响到许多人的
and how it affects lots of people in all sorts of different ways.
耶 好极了
Yeah, it's awesome.
-你们怎么遇见的 -我们俩在巴士上遇见的
- How did you meet? - I met her on a bus.
现在约到女人简直太容易了
So easy to pick up girls these days.
我和她打招呼 然后她就说 “这是我的电♥话♥”
I was, like, "Hi", and she was, like, "Take my number."
我就说 好的
I was, like, "Yeah."
我去看看有没有别的酒我可以尝试下
I'm just going to see if there are any other wines to try.
好极了 我去看看还有没有别的
It's lovely, I'm just going to see if there are some others.
失陪一下 我也去看看
Excuse me. Can't resist.
你找到什么好酒了吗
Did you find anything nicer?
哦 你和哈里分手的事情真是遗憾啊
Oh, I was so sorry to hear about Harry.
可爱的哈里
Lovely Harry.
我真喜欢哈里啊
Love Harry.
他的新工作很让人激动啊
Exciting news about his new job.
是啊 很令人激动啊
Yes, very exciting.
我真开心 你这么快就找到别人了
I was so pleased that you'd found someone else so fast.
我只是忍♥不住脑海中浮现出
I just can't stop conjuring
你坐在你的咖啡店里
an image of you sitting around that cafe,
独自一人 感觉是如此的孤单
just all alone, feeling so terribly lonely.
我就是忍♥不住去联想这个画面
Just can't stop picturing it.
我觉得独自一人不一定意味着孤独
I don't think you have to be alone to be lonely.
爸爸总是这样教我的
Dad always taught me that.
你♥爸♥爸和你说了我有一件作品丢了吗
Did your father tell you that one of my pieces has gone missing?
他说了
He did.
太糟糕了 我很抱歉
That's awful, I'm so sorry.
你真好
So sweet of you.
真好
Very sweet.
我能插句话吗
May I cut in?
可以 当然
Yes, of course.
你知道吗 你们是最登对的一对
Do you know? You are the most perfect-looking pair.
这群人简直太棒了
Such a great gang.
你想要吃些正常的东西吗
Do you want some normal food?
不 不
No, no.
我真的想让你做的
What I really want you to do...
是这个
...is this.
对不起 什么都没有发生
Sorry, nothing happened.
我只是想性感一些
I was trying to be sexy.
是的 是很性感
It was, it was really sexy.
-真的吗 -什么破了
- Was it? - What broke?
什么破了 给我看
What broke? Show me.
没什么 我滑了一下
Nothing, I just slipped.
克莱尔 这是我朋友
Claire, this is my friend...
是的 是的 我们早就见过了
Yes, yes, we've already met.
我的妻子
My wife.
我的妻子
My wife.
所有你想要的都包裹在了这里
All of your desires are wrapped up in here.
好的
Ok.
打开它
Open it.
这个 金色一直是
Well, gold has always...
哇哦