伦敦生活（2016）

Can they?
-来 抱抱她 -不
- Hold her. - No.
-她需要爱的抱抱 -不
- She needs it. - No.
嘘
Shh!
我有个主意
I have an idea.
他不仅不太检点 还吃生香肠
He's sexually inappropriate and he eats raw sausages but no-one's
但也只有他可以这样逗乐克莱尔 这点我不得不承认
made her laugh like he does, so I guess I have to give him that.
好了 来穿上 你干嘛 干嘛呢这是
Right, just put your... What are you doing? What are you doing?
不 别这样
No. Stop it.
不 不 不 这儿呢
No, no, no, there.
这就对了
There we go.
我是个天真的人
I'm an innocent man.
我给她买♥♥了条刻着她名字的项链
I bought her a necklace with her name on it,
但是她发现后叫我不要买♥♥
that she found and told me not to buy
-好吧 -我给她买♥♥了一本
- OK. - I bought her a book
-她看过的书 -呃
- that she already has. - Mmmh.
她还说不要给她买♥♥任何衣服
And, she says not to buy her any clothes
因为她基本是不会穿的
because she probably won't wear them.
她吓到我了
She scares me!
这个三明治真不错
This sandwich is so good.
听着 这里可是伦敦啊
Look, this is London.
赶紧给我滚去买♥♥点又奇怪又昂贵的东西就是了
Just fuck off and buy something weird and expensive.
不 不 我必须得给她最完美的礼物 帮帮我吧
No, no, it's got to be good, all right. Help me!
给我钱啊 给我就帮你
Pay me and I'll help you.
去你的
Fuck off.
你要多少钱
How much?
六十英镑
60 pounds.
-七十 -成交
- 70. - Done.
耶
Yeah!
我不知道她喜欢什么样的
I don't know who she is.
这个吗
Is she...?
不
No.
那这个呢
What about...?
不
No!
那如果是你的话
Just... get whoever you are.
你想挑哪个
Who are you?
我不知道
I don't know.
我应该会选这双吧
I want to be that person.
我以前就是穿这种鞋的人
I have been that person.
哈
Ha.
但大部分时间我都是穿这种鞋的人 就跟大家一样
But most of the time I'm that person, like everyone else.
这双挺不错的 对吧 也挺时髦的
They're good, right? Chic.
时髦的潜台词就是无聊 别告诉那些法国人
Chic means boring - don't tell the French.
那这双呢
What about these?
不 我的天
No. God.
别看手♥机♥了 好吗 谁会找你啊 先帮我挑礼物
Stop checking, all right, nobody loves you. Help me here.
那这双怎么样
Who is this person?
当然不行
Fuck, no.
这双绝对合适
This is perfect.
给她买♥♥她自己平时不会买♥♥的东西
Get her something she'd never get herself.
这才叫惊喜
Surprise her.
她一定会觉得我疯了
She'll think I've gone nuts.
不 她会觉得你一直把她当做时尚狂野的人
No, she'll think you see her as this person,
每个人都希望别人这么看自己
and everyone wants to be this person.
我不知道 我
I don't know, I...
这些难道不是给孩子们的吗
Aren't these for children?
不是吧
No.
咱们走吧 我在这看到好几件她讨厌的东西
Let's keep going. I saw some more stuff she'll hate over there.
我的邻居
My neighbour
身材真的好棒啊
is really fit.
哪个
Which one?
-身材很棒的那个啊 -有着性感腹肌的那个吗
- The fit one. - The one with the sexy big belly?
不 不 他是另一个邻居 这个邻居他 他长得 等下
No, no, he's the other neighbour. He's like, he's like, OK...
我来模仿给你看
I'm going to hold his face in my head so you can see him.
好的
Ok.
我还是想不到是哪个啊
I'm not getting anything.
快点好好模仿下他的表情
Make your face his face.
好吧
Yeah, OK.
他是混血的吗
Is he mixed race?
我觉得他是混血儿
I'm getting mixed race.
好的
Yes!
-就是他 -然后呢
- That's him. - Go on.
不
No.
好吧 好吧
Ok. Ok!
我的天
Jesus.
真的很抱歉 我们玩嗨了
I'm really sorry, we're really high.
我们真的很想知道你长什么样
We just really wanted to know what you look like.
她觉得你很可爱
She thinks you're lovely.
我的天哪 快看看我这双优美的脚
Oh, my God, look at my elegant feet.
嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey. Hey! Hey. Hey.
喂
Hello!
嘿 嘿
Hey. HEY!
你怎么了 那是谁啊
What's your problem? Who was that?
噢 没谁 就是
Oh, no-one, it was...
什么
What?
不 没谁 我想去喝一杯
No, no-one. I just need to go and get a drink, or something.
好吧
Ok.
很好
Excellent.
我可以去换回自己的鞋子了吗
Can I go and get my shoes?
当然了 去吧
Yeah. OK.
哇喔 慢点喝
Whoa. Easy, tiger.
这居然是你会说的话
Coming from you?
得了吧 刚才是怎么回事 干嘛这么伤心
So, come on, who was that heartbreaker, hmm?
他以前和小波一起出去玩
He used to go out with Boo.
然后就和别的女人一起过夜 然后她
Then he slept with someone else, and then she...
好了 好了 我懂了
Yeah, yeah, I know, OK.
该死
Fuck.
我从来没有怎么表达过对此我有多难过
I've never really said how sorry I was.
你应该买♥♥那双运动鞋的
You should get the trainers.
那她一定会说我不懂她
She'll say I don't know her.
你确实不懂她
You don't.
你不也是吗
You're just as bad.
我真的不知道她想要什么
It's never clear what she wants.
要不买♥♥瓶香水好了
I should just get her some perfume.
我的天 你就直接上了她 好吗
Jesus, just fuck her, please,
以此表达你的爱慕
for the love of a good woman.
把你的小丁丁系上蝴蝶结打包好给她就是了
Just wrap your willy up in a bow
然后上了她 她快发疯了
and just screw her, she's going insane.
有什么事情吗
What is it?
你是有外遇了吗
Are you having an affair?
你觉得你是只聪明的小野猫吗 嗯
Think you're a clever little puss, don't you?
一点点婚姻的试探不会要你命的
A little marital poke isn't going to kill you.
那带我出去吃晚饭会要了她的命吗
Would it kill her to take me out to dinner?
你们女人呐 上帝
You girls, Jesus.
谁对她说这个话 他们会被绞死的
Anyone said that to her, they'd be hung.
如果都被绞死了的话 那她大概也就不会抱怨了
If they were hung, she probably wouldn't be complaining.
已婚男士给你一点点小建议
Little advice from a married man.
你应该离开这里了 亲爱的
You should probably get yourself out there, sweetie.
你才刚刚步入你最好的年华
You're just tipping your prime.
再来一杯吗
Another drink?
来了
Bingo.
抱歉 我有个约会
Excuse me, I have a date.
买♥♥那双运动鞋吧 商店在一小时后就关门了
Get the trainers. Shop closes in an hour.
哦 上帝啊
Oh, God.
-我可没想到还能再见你 -闭嘴吧
- I was not expecting to see you again. - Shut up.
我是说 别理解错我的意思 我高兴坏了 但
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm chuffed to my boots, but...
哦 谢谢你的短♥信♥ 真有料啊
Oh, and thank you for the text, saucy.
哦 还有抱歉我迟到了
Oh, and sorry I'm late.
哦 没事 没关系 本来也是事出突然
Oh, no, it's fine, it was last-minute.
-很高兴见 -不 不 我简直就像个工具箱
- It's really nice to see... - No, no, I'm such a tool box.
你知道吗 我想说