一切安好

how I miss my ex-girlfriend
想念我的前女友
on the day that our dad died.
不 没事 我想知道
No. It-it's fine. I wanna know.
我想念她永远不会想着
I miss how she would never try to figure out
如何去帮我 或解决问题 她只是
how to help me or fix anything. She just...
一直努力找下一个可以谈论的
always tried to find the next interesting thing
有趣话题
for us to talk about.
抱歉 玛蒂尔达
I'm sorry, Matilda.
我为什么是个直女
Why did I have to be born straight?
生活是个残忍♥的女主人
Life is a cruel mistress.
-你是直女吗 -我想是的
- Are you straight? - Yeah, I think so.
你怎么知道呢 你又没做过爱
Well, how do you know if you've never had sex?
行了 没必要欺负我吧
All right, no need to bully a girl
今天是我爸的忌日呢
on the day her dad died.
不 小傻子 只是你没有别人
No, silly. It's just that, you don't have
可以倾诉这类问题
anyone to talk to about this stuff.
所以教你的责任就落到我身上了
So the responsibility has fallen on me to teach you.
不 责任落到了网络的身上
No, the responsibility has fallen upon the internet.
好吧
Okay, um...
这样吧
How about this?
你最想念你父亲什么
What's something you miss about your dad?
听着 我知道你想做什么 这很贴心
Look, I know what you're doing and it's nice,
但我不想谈论这些事
but I don't like talking about these things
因为我的想法♥会♥改变
because my opinions change
所以我不想被自己话束缚
and I don't wanna be locked into my words.
我不会用你的话针对你 好吗
I won't hold you to anything, okay?
我只想听听他的事
I just wanna hear about him.
我喜欢他总是系皮带
I liked that he always wore a belt.
怎么了 不 你说了
What? No. You said...
-你说了 -天呐
- You said... - Oh, my God!
你说了我能说任何事
You said I can say anything.
我不能做那个
I cannot be the only one
恋爱中唯一有感情的人
in this relationship with feelings.
我很高兴我们把矛头指向你了
I'm so glad that we've pivoted towards you.
你来说吧
Let's unpack.
你看着你♥爸♥爸生病去世
You watched your dad get sick and die
你却从来没说过这事
and you never talk about it.
你可以跟姑娘们开玩笑 分散注意力
You can make jokes and distract yourself with the girls.
但你不能坐在这告诉我
But you cannot sit here and tell me
你今天没有感觉
that you didn't feel anything today.
我不能说我没有感觉
I can't say I didn't feel anything.
我不是个怪物 我只是
I'm not a monster. I just...
其实 你能放开我的手吗 那个
Actually, can you let go of my hands? That is...
有点不舒服
That was revolting.
你能保证我们再也不那么做了吗
Could you just promise me we'll never do that again?
-拜托 -好的
- Please? - Yes.
好吧 我只是 说不好
Okay. I just... I don't know.
我只是感觉
I just feel like...
有时我不知道怎么表达自己为什么难过
Sometimes I don't know how to articulate why I'm upset.
比如 为什么要深究所有原因
So, like, why talk through all the options
有可能我只是个感官抽象的人
when maybe I'm just an abstract feeler?
所以你今天什么都没写吗
Is that why you didn't write anything today?
不 我只是
No, I just...
真的以为只需要烧了就行
literally thought we were burning them.
你为什么今天什么都没写
Why didn't you write anything today?
我不 我不相信魔法
I don't, like, believe in magic.
我不觉得那些纸条
You know, I didn't think the notes
会传到爸爸的灵魂那
were going to Dad's ghost.
你为什么今天什么都没写
Why didn't you write anything today?
别用《心灵捕手》这套对付我了
Stop Good Will Hunting me!
好吧 听着 过来
Okay, listen. Okay. Come here.
听着 这是原因 好吗
Listen. Here... Here's why, okay?
你难道不觉得
Don't you think that, like...
你难道不觉得如果我今天
Don't you think that it would be, like,
很难过的话是自私吗
selfish for me to be sad today?
不 你♥爸♥爸去世了
No, you had your dad die.
对 但和她们不同
Yeah, but not like they did.
你为什么要当硬汉
Why are you tryin' to be a tough guy, huh?
美国硬汉演员 《速度与激♥情♥》主角
突然间我对象变成了范·迪塞尔了吗
Suddenly I'm dating Vin Diesel?
不 我不是范·迪塞尔
No, I'm not Vin Diesel.
不 我真的不是范·迪塞尔
No, I'm literally not Vin Diesel.
我只是
I just like...
我只是 我猜我感觉 她们的悲伤
I just... Guess I feel, like, their sadness
比我更占理
is more credible than mine.
我 我感觉自己就像她们悲伤里的访客
I-I... I feel like I'm like a guest in their grief.
你想做♥爱♥吗
Do you wanna have sex?
-想 -想吗
- Yeah. - Yeah?
想 我还真想
Yeah! Actually, I kinda do.
当我爸爸离开时
Oh, when my dad left, you know,
对我来说很意外 因为
that was a bit of a shock, because, well...
我不知道父母还能就这样离开
Well, I didn't really know that parents could just leave.
但我妈妈 她 她很绝望
But my mum, she... she was so devastated
我就想 "这个嘛
that I thought, "Oh, you know,
或许这是她该悲伤的事"
maybe this is her thing to be sad about."
所以我就什么也没说 但她
And so I kept quiet. But she, um...
对 她似乎没注意到我一直不说话
Yeah, she didn't seem to notice that I was keeping quiet.
唯一让她感到好些的事情
And then, the only thing that, um, made her feel better
是说关于
was talking about, um...
达伦是个多么糟糕的人
how much of a shit guy Darren was.
我就想 "那行吧" 你懂的
Um, and I thought, like, "Yeah, okay. Sure," you know.
但之后我来了这里 然后
But then I would come here and actually, um,
我看到他和姑娘们相处 其实发现
I'd see him with the girls, and actually, like...
他是个很好的人
he'd be a very good guy,
然后
and, um...
就很...
Well, that was pretty...
就那样了
It is what it is.
想吃布里奶酪吗
Want some Brie?
你跟其他人说过这些吗
Ever talked to anyone about this?
跟谁 还有谁会听我这些悲伤的情绪
To who? Who are these people listening to my sad feelings?
不知道 各种人 家人
I don't know, people. You know, family?
朋友
Friends?
我明白 但是
Yeah, I hear you. Um... and-and, uh,
我们别把这事变成对我喜爱度的评判
let's not make this a referendum on my likability
但我其实没有朋友
but I've never really had friends.
不像你那样
Well, like, not like you do.
不是这样
That's not true.
我确信你肯定有很多朋友
I'm sure you've had plenty of friends.
我会去看电影 交换贴纸 但是
I went to, like, movies and I traded stickers, but...
不是那种交心的朋友
it wasn't like sharing my feelings.
好吧 那佩妮呢
Okay. W-what about Penny?
我有没有告诉我妈所以我认为她辜负我的地方
Have I told my mum all the ways that I think she's failed me?
没有 从没聊起过这个话题
No. No, that's never come up.
你觉得老二怎么样
What's your thoughts about penises?
我挺有兴趣的
I mean, I'm-I'm intrigued,
很奇怪吧 因为它们长成了那样
which is insane considering what they look like.
有时它们会弯曲
Sometimes, they curve.
刚开始朝这边 然后转弯
They start one way and make a turn.
那阴毛呢
What about pubic hair?
我的还是他们的
Mine or theirs?
因为我的已经可以见人了
'Cause mine is ready to present.
但我 我也不知道为什么
Though I'm not, I'm not sure why.
我要给你买♥♥避孕套
I'm gonna buy you condoms.
我知道避孕套
I know about condoms.
但你不知道男人
But you don't know what the guy
对避孕套知多少
knows about condoms.
所以我决定给你
So I've decided to get you
每月秘密交付一次 送到你的床头柜
a discreet monthly delivery to your nightstand.
每月一次太有野心了 玛蒂尔达
Monthly is very ambitious, Matilda.
-是我妈 -别接
- Oh, it's my mum. - Don't pick that up.
为什么 不 但电♥话♥响了 规则不是我定的
Why? No, but it's a ringing phone. I don't make the rules.