消消气（2000）

你喝过这种咖啡吗 你喜欢咖啡吗 拉里
Have you had this coffee, Larrv? You like coffee, Larrv?
我真受不了了 -怎么了
Can't do this anvmore. - What's wrong?
你总让我想起一个我憎恶的人
You remind me of someone I detest.
对不起
Sorrv.
进行得如何
How'd it go?
把律师炒掉吧 -摩卡乔吗
Fired the lawyer. - Mocha Joe?
摩卡乔
Mocha Joe.
是真的很热 还是我的错觉
Is it a million degrees or is it my imagination?
难以置信 热冒烟了
It's unbelievable. It's scorching.
这里的天气热爆了 真离谱
I cannot believe this weather. Is it hot here? Crazv.
从没见过这么热的天儿
It's like nothing I've ever experienced.
你有啥想告诉我的吗
Something you wanna tell me, huh?
你们去哪儿了
Where have vou been?
我去见律师了
Well, I went to the lawver.
律师 你去见律师了
The lawver? You went to the lawyer?
你带着一盒礼物 去他妈去见律师了
With a gift box? You went to the fucking lawver?
我只想表达一下谢意
Well, it was just to show my appreciation.
哦是吗 这个虚构的律师喜欢他的礼物吗
Oh, reallv? And how did Perrv Mason like his gift?
喜欢 -对 他很喜欢
Liked it. Yeah, he liked it.
你俩尽给我扯淡
You were so full of shit, both of you.
我在监控里看到你俩从树屋里
Cause I saw you on the video up in the tree house,
拿了个盒子出来 里面装了什么
taking that box out. What do you got?
送给乔治亚某个妓♥女♥的礼物
Like a Georgia whore who you're giving gifts to?
没什么乔治亚的妓♥女♥
No Georgia whore.
那礼物是送谁的
Well, who the fuck was that gift for?
我看到你俩拿出来了 你还说 瞧在这里 我好兴奋啊
I saw you all taking it out and all, "look, I got it. I'm all excited. "
然后你俩还击了掌 礼物是送谁的
And you two high fiving. Who was the gift for you?
送你的
You.
你觉得我会信你的鬼么 那么礼物呢
You think I qot to believe that bullshit? Then where is it?
我把它退掉了
I returned it.
退掉了 -因为太贵了
You returned it? - It was expensive.
那又怎样
So what?
你已经喜欢第一个 所以没必要送第二个
You liked the first one, so the second one was unnecessary.
你连两份礼物都不舍得给我买♥♥ 礼物是什么
You couldn't give me two fucking gifts. What was it?
一个手袋
A purse.
在我生日当天 你时间全花在了退掉我的礼物上
So on my birthday, vou spend vour dav returning mv birthday gift.
你俩还真是时间管理的大♥师♥哈
That's a wonderful use of time, both of you.
天啊
Oh mv God.
这是怎么回事
What's going on here?
这是什么鬼
What the fuck is this?
染发剂
Hair dve.
够了 你们俩这次也太过分了
AlI right, you two. You have reallv qone too far this time.
马上去给我买♥♥个黑♥马♥夫 不许失手
Go out and get me a Black iockev right now! You better fucking find one.
再把那个手袋给我买♥♥回来
And I want that purse back, too.
这是朱利亚尼 难怪我觉得他长得混♥蛋♥
It's Giuliani. No wonder I thought he looked like an asshole.
快去 -朱利亚尼
Just gol Giuliani!
马上去 老娘今天的生日全毁在你俩手里
Go! Now! It's mv fucking birthdav. You're ruining it.
好吧 里昂 去哪儿
AlI right, Leon. Where do we go?
买♥♥是能买♥♥到 但要开远点
You qot to ride a little further out if you wanna find one.
好的 那你来给我们指路
Well, direct us. What should we do?
继续开 该转弯我会告诉你的
Just keep fucking driving. I'll tell vou where to fucking turn.
听着 这种草坪黑人马夫本来也很冒犯
Look, this whole Black lawn iockey shit is bullshit anvway.
就该给它安排个一个更体面的工作
You know, it should be something more respectable.
比如黑人草坪医生
Like a fucking Black lawn doctor
脖子上还挂着听诊器
with a stethoscope around his fucking neck.
给房♥子里的混♥蛋♥做检查之类的
Giving motherfuckers checkups and shit.
或者是什么夹着公文包的律师
Or a fucking lawver holding a briefcase and shit.
看 有了 -很好
Look, right there. - That's qood.
下午好 我想问问
Hev, qood afternoon. I'm wondering
你这个草坪马夫肯卖♥♥吗
if you might be interested in selling your lawn iockey.
不卖♥♥
No.
不卖♥♥
No!
滚出去
Get out of herel
啥事
Yeah?
下午好 很抱歉打扰了
Good afternoon. I'm so sorrv to bother you.
我认得你
I recognize you.
你就是那个搅乱我们选举的外地疯货
You're the wing nut that came down here is messing with our elections.
没错 就是我
Yep. That's me.
你要我的草坪马夫做什么
What the hell you want with my lawn jockev?
我姐是个公开的种族主义者 她快死了
Mv sister's an avowed racist, and she's very sick.
我想让她开心一下
I thought this might cheer her up.
这声音挺耳熟 -一无所获
That sounds familiar. Nothing. No luck.
那我们怎么办 总得做点什么
Well, what are we gonna do? We got to do something
你在给谁打电♥话♥
Who are you calling?
天 拉里 你还好吗 老哥
Hell! Larrv! What are you doing, big guv?
你好 艾美特
Hev, Emmett.
听着 告诉你个好消息 我听了你的劝 戒掉了奶制品
Listen, I got to tell you something. I cut out dairv like you said,
生活轻松多了 感觉也好极了
and everything is better in mv life. I feel like a million damn dollars.
太棒了
That's fantastic.
多亏了你 拉里
It's all"cause of you, Larrv.
我感激不尽
I just can't thank you enough.
希望有机会报答你
I wish there was a way I could repay you somehow.
其实呢
Actuallv
小心点 易碎品
Be careful, it's fragile.
进来了往那边滑滑 把底部滑进来
Got it. Now slide it that way. Pull the bottom down that wav.
底座特别沉 这样应该没问题了
It's bottom heavv. It should be fine like that.
谢谢你 埃米特 -客气了
Thank vou, Emmett. - Yeah, no problem.
非常感谢 -不客气 拉里
Thanks so much. - Hev, my pleasure, Larrv.
我告诉你 自从戒掉乳糖后
I'll tell you, ever since I quit this lactose business,
我整个人都改头换面 这个教堂小塑像
I'm turning over a new leaf. That little statue I qot from the church?
是我最后偷的一件东西了
That's the last thing I'm ever stealing.
你先等等 -怎么了
Stav right there. - What?
千万别动
Don't vou move.
这什么东西 里面到底是啥
The hell's this? What the hell is.
收下 -这是送我的
Go ahead. This for me?
穿上试试
Trv it on.
我去 -很不错
Oh shit! There you go.
我天呐
Good Lord.
这就是给拉里·大卫帮忙的回报
You do Larry David a solid, that's what you qet in return.
老天啊 哥们
God almightv, man.
你是个真正的南方绅士
You are a real Southern gentleman.
还挺合身 -认识你很高兴
Fits perfect. - Great to meet vou.
认识你很高兴
Pleasure meetin'you.
一路顺风 好吗 亚特兰大随时欢迎你
Y'all drive safe, all right? You come back to Atlanta any time.
牧师 你们玩得开心吗
Pastor, v'all having a good time?
开心啊 雷女士
Yes, Miss Rae.
我告诉你啊 你们能吃多少吃多少
Listen here now. I want y'all to eat as much as you can, all right?
切斯特 盘子里要多放点排骨
Chester, vou better put some more ribs on this plate.
怎么能只放一根 你想啥呢 -是 女士 我知道
One rib. What do you thinking, bov? - Yes, ma'am, I got va.
没看到来了这么多人吗 -对 教堂烧烤日
God. Look at all these people. - Yeah. Church barbecue.
一会见 -嘿 里昂
See you later Hev Leon
拉里给你一起来的吗
Is Larrv with you?
拉里就在那儿 -来吧 拉里 快下车
Larrv's right there. Come on, Larrv. Get out the car.
各位 这位是拉里·大卫大家热烈欢迎
Evervbody, this is Larry David. Give him a big round of applause, v'all.
一起说 你好 拉里 -大家好
Say, "Hi, Larrv". - Hello, everyone.
看到这些人了吗 他们都很喜欢你
See all these people? They love you.
你一定不会让他们失望的
I know you're not qonna disappoint them.
下车来吃点东西吧 孩子
So come on. Get out that car and get you something to eat, boy.
好吧 那我过去
Okav, I'm cominq.
再次掌声鼓励 拉里·大卫
Give him another big round of applause, v'all. Larry David.
是我起码能做的 -对吧 杰夫
Least I could do. - Jeff, right?
是我起码能做的 -对吧 杰夫
Least I could do Jeff, right?
是啊 -我给你也盛点
Yeah. Come on and get vou some, too
我想介绍谢尔曼牧师给你认识
I want vou to meet Pastor Sherman, okav?
我可以用下洗手间吗
Hev, would it be okay if I use the bathroom?
就在那边 去吧
Right through there. Go ahead.
你看到这个人了吗
Hey, vou see this guy right here?
那夹克不像是他的 咱们把他关起来
That does not look like his jacket. Let's light him up.
什么鬼 开什么玩笑
What the hell is this? You gotta be kidding me.
你这夹克是哪来的 先生
Where you qet this jacket, sir?