消消气（2000）

跟你说实话吧
Be honest with you,
这毛病白天还行
it don't bother me so much in the davtime.
晚上是最痛苦的 让你躺在床上睡不着
It's at night when I lav down and qo to bed. I can't sleep.
疼如地狱 辗转反侧
I toss and I turn. It's hell.
你平常乳制品吃得多吗 牛奶 乡村干酪 酸奶油什么的
Do you eat a lot of dairv? Milk, cottage cheese, sour cream?
我都爱吃
Yes, all of it.
我不是专业医生哈 但听上去
I'm not a doctor, but it sounds to me
你好像是乳糖过敏 或乳糖不耐
like you might have a lactose allergv or a lactose intolerance.
真的吗
Really?
我建议你完全戒掉乳制品
Mv suggestion is that you cut out dairv from your diet completely.
很难办啊 我喜欢奶酪
It's gonna be tough. I love cheese.
谁不喜欢脆饼蘸卡门培尔奶酪呢 拜托
Hev, who doesn't love a delicious Camembert on a cracker? Come on.
卡门培尔 是啥玩意
Camembert? What the fuck is that?
算是奶酪的一种 -我听都没听过
It's a soft cheese. - I ain't ever heard of that shit.
特别好吃
It's very good.
我也说不好该怎么办 应该不好戒 我总吃乳制品
I don't know how I'm gonna do it, man. It's qonna be tough. That's all I eat.
我知道很难 我都含泪放弃马尔科纳杏仁了
I know it's hard. I had to give up Marcona almonds.
是种坚果吗
Is that like a nut?
对 超好吃 再加点松露油和海盐
Yeah, delicious. That with some truffle oil and sea salt.
味蕾盛宴
Tremendous.
我都听不懂你♥他♥妈♥在说什么
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
好吧
Okay.
拉里·大卫 你可以走了
Larrv David! You're free to go.
看看你啊 -律师来了
Look at vou. Lawyer's here.
保持联♥系♥哥们儿 很高兴认识你
Stav in touch, buddv. Good to meet you.
大卫先生 我是乔·德安吉洛 一名律师
Mr. David, I'm Joe D'Angelo. I'm an attorney.
你经纪人杰夫让我来的
Your manager Jeff sent me
拉里 我把我电♥话♥给你
Hey, Larrv let me give vou my number, man,
咱们保持联♥系♥ 好吗
We can stay in touch, you know?
你带手♥机♥了吗 -带了
Hev, vou got a phone on you? - Sure.
你能帮我记下他的号♥码吗 -他的号♥码
You mind taking his number down? - His number?
好的 -记一下 是4048928042
Yeah. - Yeah. 404- 892- 8042.
对 记下了
Yeah, I qot it.
有空来找我 拉里 慢走不送
Hit me up sometime, Larrv. Take it easy, buddv.
谢谢你们 咱们走吧 -带走吧
Thanks, fellas. Let's go. All yours.
听着 拉里 我可以叫你拉里吗
Listen, Larrv, may I call you Larrv?
当然 -听我说 拉里
Yeah, yeah, sure. - Okav, listen to me, Larrv.
我帮你申请了个人担♥保♥
I qot you out on an R. O. R.
你用个人名誉为自己做保 懂吗
Thev're releasing you on your own recognizance, okav?
好的 -有问题吗
Yeah. - What's wrong?
没问题
Nothing.
我怎么知道给别人递瓶水也犯法
I didn't know it was against the law to give someone a glass of water.
欢迎来到乔治亚 朋友
Welcome to Georgia, my friend.
听着 我只想认罪 然后回家
Look, all I wanna do, all I wanna do is plead guilty and qo home.
我想离开这鬼地方
I wanna qet the hell out of here.
咱们就按这个策略 你先认罪 我周一前就把你弄出来
That's the plan. You plead guiltv. I qet vou out of here by Monday
惩罚小到可以忽略不计 好吗
with the slap on the wrist. Okav?
我来问你
Let me ask you this.
所以这家伙让我飞来给他庆生
So this guv flies me out of here to make an appearance
可他现在不愿付我钱了
at his birthday partv, and now he's not paying me.
咱们先把这个刑事案子处理好 好吗
Let's stick with this criminal case, okay?
其他案子之后坐下来慢慢谈
And then we can sit down and mavbe talk about the other thing.
耶 拉里 你是我的英雄
Yeah, Larrv! You're my hero!
我爱你 拉里 -瞧瞧这个场面
I love you, Larrv! - Look at this!
看来你是自♥由♥派的宠儿
Looks like you're some kind of liberal darling.
不会吧 拜托 -没错
Get the hell out of here. Come on. - That's right.
你怎么来了 -我怎么会让你独自面对呢
Look at vou. How could I not be here for you?
多好的朋友啊
What a pal.
找了一家爱彼迎 咱俩的行李都放过去了 一切都安排好了
I got an Airbnb for us. I got all your luggage there. You are all set.
对了 这是乔·德安吉洛
Hey, this is Joe D'Angelo.
对 我们通过电♥话♥ 你好吗
Yeah, we spoke on the phone. How are you?
乔对吧 -很高兴终于见面了
Joe? Nice to finally meet you.
我也很高兴 也很荣幸 谢谢你出手帮忙
Nice meeting you, too. A pleasure. Thank you for helping us out,
别客气 正如我常对客户说的一样
Sure. Listen, I'll tell you what I tell all my clients.
别担心 我会把你伺候的舒舒服服 认识你很高兴 杰夫
Don't worry. You're in good hands. Nice meeting you, Jeff.
真是怪事 -难以置信 太疯狂了
Weird. lt's unbelievable. It's insane.
他看起来跟摩卡乔一模一样
He looks iust like Mocha Joe.
你活这么大 见过如此相像的两个人吗
Have you ever seen an uncannv resemblance like that in your life?
我从没见过他 只跟他通过话 他是别人推荐的
I never saw him. I onlv talked to him. He was recommended.
专业能力一流
He was like, the best.
但就因为他跟摩卡乔长得像 让我有了种莫名的反感
But I havea natural antipathy towards him because of Mocha Joe.
是啊 很抱歉找他来
Yeah. I'm so sorrv that I hired him.
你还在用那款染发剂 是吧
Stjjl the hair dye? Still going with it, huh?
对 因为我喜欢啊 拜托
Come on. I like it. I do.
我不这么认为 -我真的喜欢
I don't think vou do. I like it.
我知道你不喜欢 别骗你老哥哥我了
Iknow yoy don't. You're not being honest with vour pal.
没事 咱去跟粉丝打个招呼吧
That's okav. Let's go greet my public.
拉里
Larry!
谢谢你 你真是太好了
Thank youl So nice of you.
这就是我们租的房♥子 -是的
So this is our rental? Yep
有件事很有趣
This is interesting,
我昨晚在监狱读了本《美国科学》
I actuallv read this in iail last night in the Scientific American
几千年来 人类在穿鞋的时候
that for thousands of years humans have been putting on their·shoes
一直用食指当鞋拔
using their index finger as a shoehorn.
按照进化论的观点 我们的食指在几千年后
And in some kind of Darwinian way we've adapted
为了适应这一做法
and the index finger in a couple of thousand vears
会看起来像个鞋拔
it's gonna look like a shoehorn.
你♥他♥妈♥在说啥啊 鞋拔子
The fuck are you talking about? Shoehorn?
不是 你看 已经有点变平了
No, look! You can see it's getting flatter.
明明跟其他手指一样啊 别扯了
They look like the other fingers. What are you talking about?
你看的是《美国胡扯》吧
I think it's"Bullshit American".
你看看多像鞋拔
Looks like a shoehorn.
什么 草坪上怎么会放这个
What? What is this doing on the lawn?
这是房♥子自带的 你以为是我放这里的吗
It came with the house. You think I put it on the lawn?
我们入住前都不知道有这么个东西
We didn't know it was there until we moved in.
太不像话了 -不像话
That's awful. Terrible.
实在不像话房♥子门口有这种东西 我才不要住
That's awful. I can't stav in a house with that thing there.
一瓶水 什么 -这条法律也太苛刻了 威利
A bottle of water. What? - It's an outrageous law, Willie.
但是拜托 我们必须佩服拉里·大卫的勇气
But come on, vou qot to take vour hat off to Larry David.
拉里·大卫因为一瓶水而被捕
总有人要这么做 而他做到了
It had to be done. And dammit, he did it.
总有人要这么做 而他做到了
It had to be done. And dammit, he did it
嘿
Hev!
外面那玩意咋回事 那个草坪马夫
What's with that thing out there? The lawn jockev.
我懂 这里是南方 这是人家的特色
I know. We're in the south. That's what thev have.
我们得把它扔掉 -不能扔
We got to get rid of that thing You're not qetting rid of it.
我不能住在有这种塑像的房♥子里
I can't stay in this house with that thing outside.
让我生理不适 -这是爱彼迎好吧
I'm not comfortable. This is an Airbnb.
我保证金都付了 能不能别纠结这事儿了
I qave a securitv deposit. Just leave it the fuck alone.
你看到这个新闻了吗
You see what's going on here?
采取了勇敢的立场
It's a courageous stand.
他也许不是公车上的罗莎·帕克斯
I mean, you know, maybe it's not Rosa Parks on the bus,
但你知道 这行为实属不易
but you know, this is pretty important.
太好了啊
This is amazing.
我不想刻意拔高 但耶稣那句话怎么说来着
I don't wanna get all preachy about this, but what did Jesus say?
我渴了 你便给我水喝
I was thirsty and vou qave me water. "
拉里便是这么做的
That s what Larry did here.
我很好奇 共和党人真要施压
And I'm just wondering, are Republicans, like, reallv qonna push
我很好奇 共和党人真要施压
And I'm just wondering, are Republicans, like, reallv gonna push
把这家伙送进监狱吗
getting this guv into iail?
这个事件逐渐有了话题性
The story gaining momentum, too.
引发了全国政♥治♥人物和名人对
Political figures, celebrities across the country reacting
拉里·大卫的勇敢行为表态
to Larry David's brave stand.
拉里·大卫把思想落实在了行动上 而不是口头上
Larrv David is about action, not words.
他看到了不公 就尽其所能去纠正
He saw an iniustice and he did what he could to right it.
这正是今天的美国所缺乏的
And that's what we need todav in America.
这是一起公♥关♥事件 -拉里·大卫冒了很大风险
It's a cause celeb. - Larry David took a big risk.
把名誉和健康置之度外
He put his name and his body on the linel
你现在成英雄人物了
You're like a hero or something.
拉里·大卫向我们展示了什么是“路见不平拔刀相助”
Involvement". That's Larrv David's middle name.