儿童医院（2008）

Get out.
你要离开
That's crazy. Yeah.
太疯狂了 是吧
Let me call a press conference.
你以为这是压力淘汰赛吗
Shave off one of your eyebrows.
我要你剃掉一条眉毛
Shave off one of my eyebrows?
剃掉一条眉毛
Oh, my gosh. Are we alone?
天呐 我们这是孤男寡女 独处一室吗
Yeah.
是呢
That never happens.
百年难得一遇啊
What are you doing?
你在干什么呢
I'm catching up on Black Hospital.
我在补《布赖克医院》的剧情
This show is so unrealistic.
这节目太不靠谱了
Hey, let's do it.
咱们来做吧
Sure.
好呀
Can we wait till commercial?
能等到插播广♥告♥的时候吗
I am sorry that I am not as smart as you!
真不好意思 我没你聪明
You always out-emotion me!
你怎么总是臆想我的话外音啊
I can't even have my own feelings
我都不能有个正常的话外音
because you are always feeling so much more!
因为你老是自己意淫出很多
Fine!
好了
We'll go to your parents' house for Thanksgiving.
我们感恩节的时候去你家过成了吧
I had an abortion, Glenn! An abortion!
我去做人流了 格伦 人流
Look at us.
看看我们
This is tearing us apart.
我们要为这事分手了
I miss you.
我好想你
I really need to take a dump.
我得去拉泡屎
Hey, anybody up for a mustache contest? I win.
有人要跟我比胡须吗 我赢了
Well, well, well.
哟 哟 哟
If it isn't my old partner, Detective Chance Briggs.
这不是我旧搭档嘛 查斯·布瑞格斯警探
Aren't you a sight for sore eyebrow?
看你还真能减缓眼疲劳啊
I came as soon as you called.
你一打电♥话♥我就来了
What's the problem?
有什么事吗
Can you arrest a little kid for being a dick?
你能不能用混♥蛋♥罪逮捕一个小孩
If he's a Muslim.
他要是穆♥斯♥林♥就成
Listen to this.
听我说
I called the Dying Wish Foundation.
我给临终夙愿基金会打了电♥话♥
I got no answer.
完全没有回应
I'm beginning to think something's up.
我有点怀疑 这事不对劲
Wait a minute.
等一下
This kid, is he about yea big? That's the one.
这小孩是不是大概这么高 是啊
You're being scammed, Owen.
你被骗了 欧文
That's Johnny "The Dying Kid" McCloud.
那是强尼·死小孩·米考德
He pretends he's terminal in
他假装自己癌症晚期
order to steal wishes from unsuspecting hospitals.
借此向不知情的医院敲诈愿望
There is no Dying Wish Foundation.
根本没有什么临终夙愿基金会
Yes, there is.
明明就有
He plays Q.B. for the Philadelphia Eagles.
他不是费城老鹰队的四分卫吗
You're thinking of Michael Vick.
你说的是迈克尔·维克
We got to stop this kid. Come on.
我们得阻止这熊孩子 走吧
You live in an out-of-order bathroom?
你住在失修的厕所里
Come with me.
跟我来
It's as if I'm not supposed to be a guy anymore.
好像我再也不能当男的了
Dude, as your best friend in the whole wide world,
哥们 作为你最铁的兄弟
let me just tell you something.
哥告诉你啊
You're turning into a chick!
你要变成娘们咯
Here's what you got to do.
哥给你个建议哈
Dress as a woman, become her best friend for six to eight months,
穿得娘们点 六到八个月内变成她闺蜜
get her to talk some smack about you, and then nail her on it!
让她说你几句坏话 然后借此秒杀她
Foolproof plan!
计划多完美
That's a great idea.
这主意真不错
Oh, but she has a best friend already.
可是她已经有闺蜜了
I thought I knew him.
我以为我足够了解他
But all he wants to do is control me.
结果他就想着要控制我
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
你跟我想的一样吗
Probably.
也许吧
Vegas! Murder him and molest his dead body!
去拉斯维加斯 杀了他然后奸尸
What? Vegas!
啥 拉斯维加斯
Bro, you do not want to end up like me.
兄弟 可别像我这样
Look at me, two kids, great job,
看看我 俩孩子 好工作
solid retirement plan, and guess what kind of car
退休计划完美 我还给车
I surround my awesome portable DVD system with.
放了手提DVD播放器 猜是啥车
What? Minivan.
啥车 小型货车
How's the sex?
爱爱情况如何
Amazing.
太棒了
That is the part that always works.
就是这个最爽了
That's the part that's gotten stale.
就是这个有点没劲
We're in a rut.
我们就那一套
She refuses to play with my balls.
她不愿意逗弄我的蛋蛋
You can't expect her to like bowling as much as you.
你不能要求她跟你一样喜欢玩"球"啊
How's the sex?
爱爱情况如何
You should dump him.
你应该甩了他
You got to be your own woman.
你要做独♥立♥自主的新女性
You could come with me to oral-sex rehab!
跟我一起去戒口♥活♥康复团体吧
Road trip!
自驾游
Maybe you're right.
或许你说得对
Thanks for talking with me, Pat.
亲 谢谢你跟我聊天
You're my best friend.
你是我最好的闺蜜
Great advice, Pat.
亲 这建议不错
You're my best friend.
你是我最好的哥们
Can we talk about me sometimes? No.
能聊聊我的事吗 不能
This is the kid's room right up here!
这就是那熊孩子的病房♥
No, no, no, no, no!
不 不 不 不
He took everything!
他卷走了一切
Son of a bitch!
丫个贱♥货♥
He can't have gotten far.
他走不远的
Let's be after him.
咱追他去
There he is!
那不是吗
Wish thief!
愿望小偷
You're under arrest!
你被捕了
And now it's my turn to make a wish.
现在轮到我许愿了
Arrest this kid.
逮捕这小孩
Okay. You're under arrest.
好的 你被逮捕了
And also, I wish that, one day, when you're actually dying,
我还希望 有一天你真的快死了
that you look back on all the people that you screwed
回头看你耍过的那些人时
over and you feel really bad about it.
心里有相当的愧疚感
I mean real bad.
相当有愧疚感
Arrest him.
逮捕之
Again? Nope.
再来一次 不是
Keep going with the one that you're doing.
继续按你刚刚说的那句话做
You're all the way under arrest.
你已经被警方逮捕了
My Lola.
我的萝拉
Oh, Glenn.
我的格伦
Glenn!
格伦
I'm ready now.
我准备好了
Lola.
萝拉
Guys, we have an announcement to make.
同志们 我们有个消息要告诉大家
Lola and I have been dating. Surprise!
其实我跟萝拉在一起了 惊讶吧
The look on your faces... It's priceless!
你们脸上的表情...太好玩了
Anyway, we're moving in together into my room.
我们要一起搬去我的房♥间住
And that leaves an extra room in our apartment.
也就是说公♥寓♥里空出了一个房♥间
And I found a perfect way to use that space.
我想到那房♥间应该怎么使用了
I know what you're thinking.
我明白你的意思
We put a TV and treadmill in
把电视机和跑步机放进去
there so we can watch shows while doing cardio.
以后就能边做有氧运动 边看电视啦
Oh, yeah!
是啊
That's a great idea!
这主意真不错
I love it.
爱死了
Well, I guess that solves our overcrowding issue.
好的 我们解决人员拥挤问题啦
Attention, hospital staff.
全体医务人员请注意
You know how they say home is where the heart is?
俗话说家是心的所在地
Well, in our case, the heart is in a cooler on the third floor,
我们呢 心的所在地是三层的冷藏箱