儿童医院（2008）

I just wanted to come in here and...
我就是想过来看看...
take a look at those eyes...
看看这漂亮的眼睛...
That's okay.
也不是很漂亮
So I can match my rose corsage to them.
这样我就知道该配哪个玫瑰胸花
Diarrhea brown. So perfect, just like you.
淡棕色 太漂亮了 就像你一样
Oh, Chet...
对了 切特...
Yeah, baby, what you need?
在 宝贝 你需要点什么
I'm gonna go get a tattoo, okay?
我去弄个纹身 好吗
Ecstasy? Oh, whatever.
摇♥头♥丸♥ 管他呢
Owen, you've been trying to get out of going to
欧文 这几个星期你一直
this soccer recital for weeks now.
逃避足球独奏会的事
We are on the committee for carrying the water coolers.
我们可是要负责搬冷饮水箱的
What's really going on?
到底怎么回事
I'm a board-certified pediatric surgeon.
我是一名经过认证的儿科医生
You mean a supermarket bagger?
你说的是超♥市♥里的装袋工吧
I have to work, and that's the end of it.
我还要工作 就此打住吧
Wait a second.
等一下
Are you having an affair? What?
你出轨了吗 什么
"Also ecstasy"?
"还是摇♥头♥丸♥"
So, if I win, my tumor goes away
要是我赢了 我的脑瘤就消失
and I get to live?
我还可以活下去是吗
Right. And if I win, you come with me.
对 要是我赢了 你要跟我走
I haven't even lived.
我还没真正地生活过
I mean, I haven't done anything on my bucket list.
我是说 遗愿清单上的事我一件都没做
What do you wish you had done that you never thought you had time for?
有什么事情是你想做却没时间做的
I'd probably go to Dubai or Branson.
我想去迪拜或者布兰森
I hear Yakov Smirnoff has five new jokes.
听说雅科夫·司木露想到了五个新笑话
Did a toxicology scan on the infant.
给孩子做了个毒理学扫描
Haven't seen a wound that dirty
自从我接生了一个流浪♥女♥的孩子后
since I delivered that homeless woman's baby.
我就再也没见过这么毒的伤口
Ho! Going blue here, people.
紧急情况 伙计们
Try and keep up. We don't have much time.
抓紧时间 我们没多少时间了
If gangrene sets in, we're too late.
要是感染上坏疽 就为时太晚了
Gangrene?
坏疽
Better than Gang Mexican.
比墨西哥黑帮要好一点
Is that racist? Tell me the truth.
这算种族歧视吗 说真话
We need to start the baby on an I.V. Right away.
我们要给孩子打静脉注射 马上
Kelly's been sedated, so she can't breast-feed.
凯莉打了镇静剂 她不能哺乳
Sedated?
打了镇静剂
Well, let's all breast-feed.
那哺乳我们吧
Would that be rape?
这算强♥奸♥吗
Seriously, tell me. I don't know.
说真的 告诉我吧 我真不知道
Blake, do you have anything significant to add here?!
布莱克 你有什么重要的东西要补充吗
Hey, I'm working out some material, man.
我也有研究一些资料的
What's eating you?
你怎么那么暴躁
What did you just say?
你刚刚说什么了
What's eating you? Say that again.
你怎么那么暴躁 再说一遍
What's eating you? One more time, please?
你怎么那么暴躁 麻烦再说一遍
What's eating you? Like Ronald Reagan.
你怎么那么暴躁 用罗纳德·里根的方式说
Well, what's eating you?
你怎么那么暴躁
Like a question on "Jeopardy!"
用《挑战自我》当中的问题形式说
What is "What's eating you?"
"你怎么那么暴躁"是什么意思
In a racist Chinese accent. Oh, what's aeating ayou?!
用中国口音说 你怎么那么暴躁
Like a sexy young schoolgirl.
用年轻性感的学♥生♥妹♥方式说
What's eating you?
你怎么那么暴躁
One more time, regular.
再说一次 正常点
What's eating you?
你怎么那么暴躁
What's up with him?
他怎么回事
That's odd.
好奇怪啊
The wound has shrunken significantly since the mother was sedated.
她妈打了镇静剂以后这伤口变小好多
Is it connected?
这有关系吗
Maybe she's a witch.
也许她是个巫婆
Very close.
很接近了
Switch the "W" For a "B" And add "Class 'a' murdering" To it.
把"巫"变成"疯"再加"一级谋杀"
Yup. Baby breath.
猜得不错 孩子的味道
My wife has been eating our child.
我妻子一直在咬我们的孩子
Classic Munchausen-by-Proxy Syndrome.
典型的替代病理性谎言综合征
Uh, more like Munch-by-Proxy Syndrome.
更像替代咀嚼综合征
Seriously, how's that not funny?!
说真的 这怎么可能不好笑
A mother suffering from acute postpartum depression
患有严重产后抑郁症的母亲
will cause an illness in a child in order to gain back some of
会患与孩子相关的病以此来唤醒
the attention that she lost to the newborn.
她们对孩子的关注程度
In this case, she was eating our baby.
我妻子的情况就是 她会咬孩子
Very typical in about 0% of such cases.
这种行为在这病当中绝无仅有
Treat it for tetanus and redress the wound.
给孩子打破伤风针 包扎好伤口
Please call the police and a good divorce lawyer.
麻烦报♥警♥ 再找个善于办理离婚的律师
Which one?
你是说哪一个
Let's go with Andy this time.
这次找安迪吧
Which Andy? The Jewish one?
哪个安迪 那个犹太人
You move first. Okay.
你先走 好
Pawn to King four.
兵吃王四
Interesting.
有意思
You know, you're very attractive for a life-haver.
做为一个大活人 你挺有吸引力的
Bishop to Queen's Bishop four.
象吃后四
Adorable.
漂亮
Perhaps when I beat you, we might work out another,
也许等我打败你 我们可以安排个
more sex-filled arrangement.
更有"性"致的约会
Checkmate. What the hell?!
将军 怎么回事
I can't believe you fell for the four-move checkmate.
你竟然中了四步杀王的招 难以置信
Four-move checkmate?!
四步杀王
Oh, man!
不是吧
I thought you played this game a lot.
我以为你经常玩国际象棋
I literally have played chess
我是经常玩
with everyone that's ever died for millennia!
但是和那些死了上千年的老家伙玩
So I get to live?
所以我可以活下来了
I need some coffee.
我要喝咖啡
Val!
瓦珥
The results of your "Me" Scan are in.
我给你做的扫描结果出来了
You're all clear. I know!
你没事 我知道
How? A friend told me.
你怎么知道 一个朋友说的
He was sitting right there.
他刚才还坐在那里
I'm over here.
我在这儿呢
Sorry. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.
抱歉 很高兴认识你 很高兴认识你
So, listen.
你听我说
Have you seen my also ecstasy?
你看到我那针"还是摇♥头♥丸♥"了吗
So it looks like I won't have any time to go to that wedding
我没时间去那个婚礼了
now that I'm a single parent and all.
因为我成了可怜的单身父亲
This is just one of those classic scheduling snafus.
这可是导致我时间表天翻地覆的罪魁祸首
Wait, what wedding?
等下 什么婚礼
Oh, right.
我想起来了
Oh, I'm not going to that.
我不去那个婚礼了
No, I barely know those people.
我都不认识那些人
Good to see you!
见到你真高兴
Yeah, I'll see you.
回头再找你
Well... I guess all's well that ends well.
我想这也算是大团圆结局
No, no, no, no.
不是啦
I didn't -- I didn't mean that as a joke.
我没打算把这话当笑话说的
I just meant that as a general comment to wrap things up.
我只是想来句总结
Wait, how was that funny?
等下 这话怎么就好笑了
Look, I don't have time for this, okay?
我可没空想这个 好吧
I have a pharyngectomy in ten minutes.
十分钟后我还有个咽切除术要做
You think that a pharyngectomy is funny?
你觉得咽切除术很好笑吗
I have to remove a person's entire throat.
我要把别人的整个咽喉切下来啊
Due to cancer.
她得了癌症
And she's a little girl.
还只是个小女孩
I'm removing a little girl's throat
我要切掉小女孩的咽喉
because it is ravaged with cancer.
因为她被癌症折磨
Wow, I need to write this stuff down.
我要把这笑话记下来
Attention, hospital staff.
全体医务人员请注意
I'd like some feedback on my voice over demo reel.
我希望大家给我的声音小样提些意见