儿童医院（2008）

Previously on Childrens Hospital...
《儿童医院》前情回顾
You're a sellout!
你这个叛徒
You're a Ronald McDonald paint job!
你就是披着小丑皮的麦当劳大叔
I don't like the "p" word.
我讨厌"屁"的谐音
Oh! Sorry, nurse.
不好意思 护士
We thought the new doctor was coming in.
我们还以为是新来的医生到了呢
She did just come in.
她确实刚到
First of all, you mean "he" just came in.
首先 你是想说"他"刚到吧
No, I most definitely did not mean "he".
不 我确定一定肯定地不是想说"他"
I'm an Aquarius. You're an aquarius.
我是水瓶座 你是水瓶座啊
What a coincidence.
真巧
I'm bisexual.
我是双性恋
And that's why I'm leaving Childrens Hospital.
所以我就要离开儿童医院了
And I will never, ever return.
永远不会再回来了
And so I would like to take this chance to say...
所以我要借这个机会说...
Insecure slut.
没有安全感的荡♥妇♥
I know you're bulimic.
我知道你有贪食症
You're my Nemesis.
你是我天生的克星
Don't really know you.
不好意思 和你不熟
I've always loved you.
我会永远爱你
And last but not least...
最后要说的是...
Pass.
忽略
Hey, did you guys hear about that thing about sports?
你们听说体坛那件事了吗
Yeah.
是啊
I hate men.
我讨厌男人
On the way here, some guy asked me to flash my breasts.
过来的路上居然有人叫我爆咪♥咪♥
Did he have a video camera? Not even.
他有摄像机吗 根本没有
Oh, then I'm just as mad as you are.
那我会和你一样抓狂的
I'm just... I'm tired of being objectified.
我...我厌倦把自己物质化了
You know what you should do?
你知道你该怎么办吗
You should get naked.
你应该赤身裸体
You'd be making a statement, reclaiming your nudity.
以此来发表声明 重申你的裸♥露♥宣言
You know what? You're right.
你知道吗 你说得对
I... I am no longer going to
我...我再也不能
be shackled by these objects of... of oppression.
被这些压抑的物质所束缚了
From now on, this emperor has new clothes.
现在开始 本皇帝有了新衣
Skin clothes.
人皮衣
Hey, Val. Hi.
你好啊 瓦珥 你好
Can I crash here for a while?
我能在这儿住几天吗
Sure.
当然
Oh, God.
老天
Um, funny story.
说起来也好笑
Uh, I got a new landlord, and she doesn't like clowns.
我换了个新房♥东 她不喜欢小丑
Weird. I mean, who doesn't like clowns?
真奇怪 谁会不喜欢小丑呢
Anyway, there's a special sink for you in the corner,
你可以住在角落的那个水槽里
you and all your clownfolk, if they ever come over,
你和你的小丑朋友 如果他们要来的话
which you have to run by us, of course.
必须得事先征得我们同意
And the answer is no. Cool.
当然回答会是不同意 好吧
Hey, did you guys hear about that thing about sports?
你们听说体坛那件事了吗
Follow me, Blake. Okay, thanks.
跟我来 布莱克 好的 谢谢
Hey, totally unrelated. Are you naked right now?
随便问一句 你现在是全♥裸♥着吗
Okay, you're gonna feel a little pinch.
好了 你会觉得有一点点痛
Righteous.
正点
I'm looking for Dr. Lola Spratt:
我来找萝拉·斯普拉特医生
Tall, skin like an airbrushed centerfold,
皮肤完美无瑕的高个性感美女
legs that go all the way up to make an ass out of themselves.
销魂的长腿让人拜倒在她的石榴裙下
Lola is a girl's name.
萝拉是个姑娘的名字
I thought girls can't be doctors.
我还以为姑娘不能做医生呢
Maybe I'm looking for a girl to play doctor.
那我也许是在找个妹子和我玩医生扮演游戏
What happened?
怎么回事
You left here out of the blue.
你突然一走了之
Well, I'm back now.
但我现在回来了
I'm back now.
我现在回来了
You should be careful.
你给我小心点
Once you come back, you never go back.
回来了可就走不了了
Hey, did you hear about that thing about politics?
你们听说政坛那件事了吗
Don't even.
完全没有
Hey, you guys didn't use my concealer, did you?
你们俩谁用了我的遮瑕膏吧
Yeah. Sorry. I used a little on my back.
我用的 抱歉 我在背上涂了点
Speaking of makeup,
说起化妆
how are we gonna get Blake out of here?
我们要怎么把布莱克撵出去呢
I know.
我知道
I mean, I feel kind of bad not letting him use the front door,
不让他走前门让我有点内疚
but that's just the way things are.
但我们必须这么干
I don't feel bad.
我可不内疚
He wants to live here, he follows the rules of society.
他想住在这儿 就得遵守这儿的规矩
He speaks only when spoken to,
只有别人问他话 他才能开口
he's not allowed to vote,
他没有选举权
and he eats all his meals under the kitchen table.
而且他只能在餐桌底下吃饭
I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll join you.
我要去冲个澡 我和你一起
I'm gonna take a shower on the way to work.
我还是上班路上洗吧
Yeah.
好的
Looks like you've had a pretty bad pinch here.
看来你这儿有个挺严重的刺伤
Does it hurt when I do this?
这样会疼吗
I'm Dr. Brian. Hi.
我是布莱恩医生 你好
I used to work here, but I left several years ago to
我以前在这工作 不过几年前离开
be a consultant on a TV medical drama.
去当医疗剧的顾问了
Oh, right, "Black Hospital," starring Marlon Wayans.
没错 马龙·韦恩斯主演的《黑人医院》
I loved that program.
我爱死那个剧了
Do you know him?
你认识他吗
Wayans? Yeah.
韦恩斯 是啊
Taught him everything he knows.
他那点手艺全是我教的
That's funny.
太好笑了
I'm sure you didn't teach him everything he knows.
我敢肯定他会的不全是你教的
I mean, you probably only taught
你也就是教他
him what it's like to be...
怎么当一个...
a black doctor.
黑人医生
You got me.
这也被你看出来啦
He knows way more than just the black-doctor stuff.
他会的可不止黑人医生那点事
Hey, do you want to get a drink after work?
下班后一起喝一杯怎么样
You know, maybe I can show you
也许我能向你展示一下
some of the things that Marlon Wayans taught me.
马龙·韦恩斯教过我的东西
About having sex.
关于爱爱的
I... I can't.
我...我不能
Lola's my friend, and, um, I'm also pretty racist.
萝拉是我朋友 而且我也有种族歧视
Hey, the women here off limits.
这里的女人不能碰
You didn't see me on the set of
你没见我在拍《黑人医院》的时候
"Black Hospital" trying to bang Marlon Wayans, did you?
还想上了马龙·韦恩斯吗
We're not dating anymore.
我们分手了
You dated Marlon Wayans?
你还和马龙·韦恩斯交往过
I meant me and you.
我是指你和我
Well, there is no me and you. That's what I just said.
早就没我和你了 我刚才说过了
Well, yeah, but in a roundabout kind of way.
是 但你说得拐弯抹角
Then how about this?
那这样如何
I can date whoever I want.
我可以和任何人约会
Yeah?
你想咋地
Well, I'm pretty well-liked around here,
我在这儿人见人爱 一呼百应
and if I give the word,
只要我一发话
then you're gonna be on the black list,
你立马就会上"黑"名单
if you get my double meaning.
但愿你听出我语带双关
Blake, aren't you looking for the multicolored rest room?
布莱克 你不是在找有色人种洗手间吧
Not today.
今天可没有
Oh, my God!
哎呀妈呀
I know a bar that will let anybody use their toilets.
我知道个酒吧 任何人都能用那儿的厕所
Let's go.
我们走
I've never noticed that about fat people.
我从没注意过胖子还会那样
It's true.
是真的
Hey, I really loved your show, by the way.
说起来 我真心喜欢你的剧
It really spoke to me.
挺对我胃口的
Thanks, man.
谢谢 伙计