黑镜（2011）

No.
不会吧
No. No, come on, man.
不是吧 不行 伙计
No. It's your birthday, just take the damn thing, would you?
不 今天是你生日 快收下 好吗
Seriously, you gonna flip the fuck out. I tried it out in the store.
真的 绝对让你爽翻天 我在店里试了
They demoed it for me. Five minutes
他们让我看了五分钟小样
blew my mind to confetti.
我脑子都快炸开花了
Thanks, man. It's all good.
谢了 伙计 不客气
That your one?
那是你儿子吗
No, that's Maxwell.
不 那是麦克斯韦尔
Maxwell. Guys, guys.
麦克斯韦尔 伙计们
Tyler's friend from school.
泰勒在学校的小伙伴
You want a beer, man?
要来瓶啤酒吗 伙计
Finally he saves me. Yes.
他终于拯救了我 太好了
Thank you.
谢了
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, I've been playing with Katie.
妈妈 我一直在跟凯蒂玩
Theo, are we using the plastic cups?
西奥 我们要用塑料杯子吗
Theo's looking good.
西奥看起来不错
Good to see at least one of you still has a gym membership.
很高兴看到你俩至少还有一人在健身
Oh, really?
是吗
Seriously, man.
说真的 伙计
You're walking around like a fucking Frankenstein movie.
你现在走路就像个科学怪人似的
Look, since my knee went, I haven't been able to work out, all right?
我膝盖坏掉后 一直没法健身 好吗
I'm not using that as an excuse. I'm just...
我不是想找借口 我只是...
No, no, no, of course not.
不 当然不是
Fuck you, all right?
去你的 好吗
I can afford to let things slide. I'm settled.
我能顺其自然了 我已经有妻有子了
I thank God I don't have to be out there on the dating scene.
感谢上帝我不用再出去约会
Always on sale. Fucking bullshit.
随时等着被人挑什么的
It is like a second job.
那就像是第二份工作
Gotta keep up with those younger dudes.
还得跟紧跟那些年轻人的节奏
You gotta do a thousand crunches a day?
你每天得做一千个仰卧起坐吧
Only 50 each morning.
就每天早上做50个
Fifty in the morning?
早上50个
You wax your ballsack?
你会刮蛋上的毛吗
I'm sure as shit those young dudes do.
那些年轻人肯定会
You wax your ball... You nasty.
你还真刮...太恶心了
Till it's gleaming like an eight ball.
刮得像个闪闪发光的八号♥球
Just to stay in the game.
就为了保持撩妹的竞争力
I pity you, really. Yeah. Well...
我真是同情你 嗯 好吧
You wanna know where I'm going after I leave here?
想知道我离开这里之后会去哪吗
Shit, getting your taint waxed too?
操 把乳♥头♥也刮刮毛吗
Meeting Mariella.
去见玛丽耶拉
Mariella.
玛丽耶拉
She does backing vocals.
她是做伴唱的
What, for the school band?
给谁伴唱 学校乐团吗
How old is she?
她多大了
Twenty-nine.
No, 28. See. Here she is again.
不 28 看 这还是她
Yeah.
对
You wanna share that with the class?
要给全班同学看看吗
You lucky man. I am, me.
真是个幸运的男人 没错
What are you doing?
你那是干什么
What are you doing?
你搞什么
Tyler asleep?
泰勒睡了吗
Had to read that damn Macaroo book again
我得又读了一遍那本马卡鲁的破书
before he'd let me put out the light.
他才让我熄了灯
"Macaroo found a shoe..."
"马卡鲁发现了一只鞋..."
"And put it in a tree."
"把它放进了一棵树里"
Macaroo's got no respect for his environment,
马卡鲁一点都不尊重环境
that's all I'm saying.
我就这么一说
I can do that. No, I'm fine.
我来吧 没事的
It's your birthday, come on.
今天是你生日 来吧
Thank you.
谢谢
Ok.
好了
You know, you should've told me that Karl and Daisy broke up.
对了 你该告诉我卡尔和黛西分手了
Did he say who broke up with who? I didn't ask.
他有说是谁提出来的吗 我没问
I always said that those two were not good news together.
我总说那两人不会有什么好结果
So long since I saw him last.
我好久没见着他了
Had to be last year's birthday, I think.
上次见面还是去年生日吧
In the flesh, a whole year?
有一整年没见了吧
Him and the girl on his phone, is that serious?
他和他手♥机♥上的那个妹子 是认真的吗
I didn't ask.
我没问
Guys suck at talking.
男人都不善于聊天
How long have you two known each other?
你俩认识多久了
You don't actually get to talk at these things, though, do you?
这种场合根本没机会聊这些事 是吧
I mean, beyond surface bullshit.
也就只能闲聊
Or parent talk. There's a lot of that these days.
再就是家长八卦 现在净说这个了
Y'all should hang out more.
你们应该多一起玩玩
Yeah, well, you know, work.
你也知道的 工作忙
And we're parents.
我们是父母了
He's downtown with the label and we're out here.
他在城里做唱片 我们住在郊区
We should have him over for dinner.
我们应该请他来吃晚餐
You could make your chili.
你可以做你拿手的辣椒
Sure.
好啊
Flatware hazard warning.
危险餐具警告
You gotta put the knives in sharp edge down.
你得把刀刃朝下
I know.
我知道
Check out the Rodman look on this guy.
你看那人的罗德曼造型
How are you?
你好吗
Rodman?
罗德曼
Dennis Rodman.
丹尼斯·罗德曼
He used to be a ball player, right? Right.
他以前是个球员 对吗 对
The hair.
你是说发型
Got it.
明白了
The app says we need to do it within the hour.
手♥机♥软件上说我们需要在一小时内完成
It's peak fertility.
现在是受孕高峰期
I'm kind of beat but I guess that we should.
我有点累了 但我觉得我们应该试试
You not into it?
你不想吗
I just ate so much, I don't know if I can.
我刚吃太饱了 不知道能不能行
It's best to save it up, though, right?
最好还是留着下次吧
Mind if I go to sleep?
介意我先睡了吗
No.
睡吧
I love you, baby.
我爱你 宝贝
Love you, too.
我也爱你
Shit.
靠
Hey, man.
伙计
Hey, you still awake? You wanna game?
还没睡呢 想打盘游戏吗
Maybe not tonight. I was...
今晚就不了 我在...
Come on, what are you playing?
别这样 你在玩什么
Something goddamn boring is what I'm guessing.
我猜你在玩什么无聊的游戏
All right, you got me.
好吧 被你猜到了
All right, so grab the experiencer disc I got you,
那好 拿起我给你的体验盘
put it on and jump in.
戴上 开始
Seriously, man, it's insane.
我说真的 好玩疯了
You're gonna freak.
能把你吓死
You're gonna shit your pelvis through your asshole.
你会吓到把盆骨拉穿
OK. What do I do? All right, they showed me in the store.
好吧 怎么装 他们在店里装给我看了
You put the game chip in. Done.
把芯片插♥进♥去 好了
Now grab the disc doohickey and stick it upside your head.
现在拿出游戏盘装置 粘在头上
Left or right side? Doesn't matter.
左边还是右边 随便
Done. OK.
好了 好
Now hold down the sync button on the controller.
现在按住手柄上的同步按钮
Nothing's happening.
没反应
We haven't chosen our fighters yet.
还没选择战士
So, I am...
那我选
Roxette.
罗克赛特
OK, so where's my guy?
好吧 那我的战士呢
Lance. Damn. All right, Lance, let's go.
兰斯 靠 好啊 兰斯 开始吧
OK, you have to brace yourself.
好 你可得做好准备
Brace myself. Come on.
"做好准备" 来吧
You ready? Yeah, I'm ready.