不良教育（2012）

Yeah, damn this shitty book. Aargh!
去他妈的破书
Oh, I think you hit someone, Alfie.
是不是砸到人了 Alfie
Fraser, what are you doing?
Faser 干嘛呢你?
Oh, just, er, just Peter Crouch'ing. You know, squat thrusts.
彼得式弹跳 蹲下以后再伸腿的那种
Just a standard library gym sesh. Working on the old, er, bibliopecs.
塞式瑜伽图书馆标准版 锻炼这老胳膊老腿
How are the old pump and grind classes going?
活塞运动教育课进行得如何?
Yeah, I was just telling Alfie.
挺好的 我正和Alfie说着呢
I mean this is the stuff that reminds me why I teach.
我觉得这方面的教育 让我想起我教学的初衷
Don't you think it's amazing that we can inspire such honesty sexually?
难道不觉得鼓励如此开放的性教育 好到不行吗?
Here's that book you asked for.
这是您要的书
Oh, that's, no, that's not for me.
呀 不是我的 我没要
It is. You specifically made me buy it from Amazon.
是您的啊 您特意让我从亚马逊买♥♥的
Oh, fine. Very chatty for a librarian, aren't you?
好 作为图书管♥理♥员♥你话太多了吧?
It's for my class.
讲课要用
So, I'll go and read it, to them, now.
我得给他们读读 现在就得去
Now? Classes don't start for half an hour.
现在去?还有半小时才上课
Oh, oops! Jumped the gun again! Not again.
啊哈! 我好像急了点! 下次不会了
OK, I need to inspire some honesty,
好了 我们要坦诚再坦诚
so I'm going to need one of you to lie about being gay.
我需要有名同学假装自己是基佬
That will make my sex ed class look so pro.
这样鄙人的性教育课就相当有专业水准了
You know, you come out then I'll counsel you,
你出柜然后我要对你进行辅♥导♥
like the bald guy they bring out on Jeremy Kyle.
就像Jeremy Kyle的节目
I'll go gay, Sir. But only if you watch.
我来 老师 不过只给你看
And from now on, comments like that will be banned.
从现在起 这样的话就不能再说了
Sir, after a good deal of soul searching, and a powerful journey of self discovery
老师 经过深刻的自我剖析 漫长强大的自我检查
I have come to the conclusion that I am gay.
我确定我是基佬
Ah, that's lovely Stephen. But what we need here is a surprise...
不错哈 Stephen 不过我们要出人意料...
No. No, no, no. Look... No, no.
不行 绝对不行 - 听我说...
Now don't over-react.
不要这么激动
No. Just calm down. No. I'm not doing it. Please.
淡定 - 我♥干♥不了 - 拜托了
All I'm asking you to do is to be gay for a day.
当一天的基佬就行
"You just stand up in the middle of the class and say "Mr Wickers,
只需要站在同学中间 说"Wickers老师
"I'm out and proud." Alfie, please don't do this.
"我出柜我骄傲" - Alfie 别这样
Look, we all go through phases.
咱们都是见过世面的人
This one time,
有一次
me and Atticus Hoye were apple-bobbing at Patrick Marsh's barn-dance,
我和Atticus Hoye在Patrick Marsh的乡村舞会上玩咬苹果游戏
and let's just say, our hands did not remain behind our backs.
给你说吧 当时我们的手可不是很老实在背后
I really, really don't want to do this.
我真的 真的不想当基佬
Please. I know
拜托 我懂了
I'll get you out of going to France.
我不让你去法国了
You promise?
你保证?
Have I ever let you down?
我让你失望过么?
Ah, that's very sweet of you to offer to come out as well, Jing,
也很感谢你的积极出柜 Jing
but, er, as they say in China "one child will do."
不过就像你们中国人说的"一人足矣"
Aaaw, that sounds like the French exchange.
是不是法国交换生到了
Oh, they're gonna be fit. Oh, the bender bus has turned up.
好幸福他们来了 - 基佬车来了
Where are this lot from in France anyway?
是法国哪个地方来的?
From the town of Hoogeveen. Hoogeveen?
霍赫芬镇 - 霍赫芬?
That sounds German.
听着像德国的
Are you sure it's in France, Fraser?
你确定这个镇在法国吗 Fraser?
Yes. From the French province of Drenthe.
确定 就在法国的德伦特省
Erm. Hoogeveen is in Holland.
霍赫芬在荷兰
For God's sakes man, you teach Geography.
天啊 哥们 你可是教地理的
Well, I don't know. I mean, who's ever been to Holland?
我又不知道 谁去过荷兰啊?
I used to work in Amsterdam.
我以前在阿姆斯特丹工作
they're Dutch. It's fine.
荷兰人 很好啊
they're not obsessed with sex.
这伙孩子应该不会乱性
I mean look,
看看这些
no one's gonna be hopping on that.
大家都没有什么性取吧
Oh, my God! Get that boy to the wheelie bins now!
惊艳啊! 我想现在就上他!
Shut up, you slag. He's well bent.
闭嘴 你个荡♥妇♥ 这绝对是个弯的
Ain't he, Stephen? Well, if he isn't, I'll bend him.
是吧 Stephen? - 不是 我也掰弯他
Oh, waffles.
真无聊
Shoot in da hoop. Into me.
投篮 看我的
Whoa. You just denied this quarterback a three-pointer.
你害我错失了三分球
Fraser, Joe can't go to Hoogeveen. New balls, please.
Fraser 不能让Joe去霍赫芬 - 给我拿个新球 谢谢
Oh, email from Mr Smith asking me
Smith先生发邮件让我
to stop referring to him as a brother from another mother.
不要再跟他套近乎
He shoots and... Ooh, touchdown!
发射...啊哈 触地得分!
Fraser, did you listen to me? Joe can't go.
Fraser 你听到我说啥了没? 不能让Joe去
Why? - Look...
为何? - 你看哈...
...he has been having some words with me in private
我跟这孩子私底下聊过
about a couple of issues that his having regarding his sexuality.
关于他的性取向问题
Why would that mean he can't go to Holland?
这是他不用去荷兰的理由?
Fraser! Holland!
Fraser!那是荷兰啊!
A young chap like that.
一个血气方刚的少年
Vulnerable, unsure of himself, wandering round
脆弱 无助 游荡在
the red light district of Amsterdam, high on marijuana.
阿姆斯特丹的红灯区 抽大♥麻♥
They'd pass his bottom round like a joint.
坏人甚至会在他菊花里藏♥毒♥啊
Ooh. Formal warning from the governors regarding
哇哦 政♥府♥要员的官方警告哟 关于
my conduct towards a black parent.
如何拯救黑人单亲妈妈
Home run!
全垒打!
Actually can you just, er, pick that one out,
你能不能帮我把那个拿回来
I should probably give it a read before the hearing.
听证会之前 我应该再看看
So, are we agreed? Joe's not going?
所以就这么定了? Joe不用去了?
Well, if he's having tissues, we can't send him abroad.
他如果这有问题 不能出国的话
I'll just ring around for another pupil.
我就打电♥话♥要别的孩子去
Oh, before you do that, one of Ms Pickwell's class
打电♥话♥之前 Pickwell老师班里有个学生
has expressed a real affinity with the culture.
已经表现出对该国文化的赤子之心
Get in the locker!
好好呆里吧!
Hello, Francis.
哈喽 Francis
Well, if ain't Dries Van Noten.
这不是德赖斯·范诺顿出的衣服吧
Ooh, speaking a little Dutch. That'll come in handy.
呀 还会荷兰语呢 会派上用场的
You been sniffing Pritt Stick again, you dick rash?
你颜料吸多了吧又 你个二货
No, because I've found out that it's solvent free.
才不是 因为我发现这是无溶剂的
Mug. Fraser has just been on the phone to your parents.
脑残 - Fraser刚给你父母打了电♥话♥
Turns out there was a last minute drop out on the Dutch exchange,
最终大逆转 荷兰交换生要换人了
and we all decided that you could go instead.
大家一致决定你是最合适的人选
You're going to love it on the farm in Hoogeveen.
你会喜欢霍赫芬的农场生活的
The 5am starts, the smell of manure,
凌晨五点起床 粪香味
the vigorous milking, and that's just Mrs Vorhoeven.
大力挤奶奶 我是说Vorhoeven夫人
As they say in Holland, auf wiedersehen.
用荷兰语说就是 再见来不及握手
Welcome. Wilkommen. Bienvenue. Don't block the camera.
欢迎 热烈欢迎 - 你挡着镜头了
Camera? Are you filming this? Yeah, I'm streaming it on Mumsnet.
镜头? 你在拍? - 是啊 我打算上传到妈妈网
Thank you very much for that.
真是谢谢你
Now, I'm glad you could all make it to one of our live sex shows.
我很高兴 大家能来参加我们的性♥爱♥现场直播
Sorry - live classes on sex, sex ed class.
抱歉 关于性 性知识的课堂教育
It's not a live sex show.
不是性♥爱♥直播
Now, I know you're all a little bit worried about your kids
我懂 大家或多或少都在担心自己的孩子
mingling with the French students, and their dubious sexual outlook.
会不会和法国交换生乱搞 性取向有没有问题
Fear not, because luckily, ah, our students are in fact, Dutch.
完全不用担心 因为幸运的是 他们是荷兰来的
So, enough tickle, a bit more tackle, funk you very much.
那么 问题解决了 没什么担心的了
Settle down, brothers and sisters. It's time to share.
坐好了 同学们 经验交流分享要开始了
Where have I been? Good question.
我刚才去哪了? 问得好
Well, I've been sat in a room getting to know my penis.
我刚刚一直在房♥间里 研究我的小♥弟♥弟♥
And you know what?
知道发生了啥吗?
He's a pretty great guy, cos Miss G's right.
这货真的很给力 格老师说得对
How can you lot understand your penises
你们怎么会了解自己的小♥弟♥弟♥呢
if you don't get to know my penis first?
要是连我的小♥弟♥弟♥什么样都不知道?
That's out of context.
你理解错了
You don't need books.
大家不再需要书本
Or libraries.
或图书馆
All of the answers are in here. The pant library.
答案就在这里 裤裆图书馆
So, next chapter, sex.
下一章 性♥爱♥
I thought you guys should share.
同学们来勇于分享
Is there anything anyone wants to share with the group? Joe, maybe?
有人要分享点什么吗?Joe 你有吗?
Something that you might like to tell us,
有没有什么想告诉我们的
some honesty that I've inspired?
坦诚一点
No.
没有
For me, it's all about making everyone happy.
对我来说 大家高兴才是真的高兴