不良教育（2012）

No.
不行
You couldn't even wear them, they have an orthopaedic heel.
这不是给你穿的 里面有矫形用的足跟
Shut up, Downton Abbey. They would play havoc with your arches.
住嘴 唐顿庄园 真的 穿了你的脚会疼的
I'm sorry, Grayson,
抱歉 Grayson
I'm not giving you my shoes.
我不能把鞋子给你
Whoop, whoop!
呜 呜!
It's the sound of the police!
警♥察♥来了!
You have been apprehended.
在此将你逮捕
You have the right to remain silent,
你有权保持沉默
although that's unlikely, as you've been arrested
虽然那蛮不可能的 在此你被
by Sergeant Fraser, head of Dave's Witty Banter Unit.
诙谐戏谑组组长Fraser警官所逮捕
Step inside, Alf, need a quick conflabamundo.
过来一下Alf 有事要跟你交谈交谈
Oh, Give me strength. Grab some plastic, homeboy.
请赐我力量 来吧伙伴 拿着
Look, you're not firing me, are you?
等等 你不会是要开除我吧?
If this is about those fire extinguishers,
如果是为了灭火器那件事
I was doing a class on democracy.
我当时在教关于民♥主♥主义的课
I was using Mitchell to demonstrate Guantanamo Bay torture techniques.
用Mitchell示范一下关塔那摩监狱的酷刑
Holster those pistols, young ranger,
先收回你的手♥枪♥ 小游侠
lets just control-alt-Apple-Z that last little outburst, shall we?
我们倒回你刚刚进来之前 重新开始
Although for the record, that can definitely never happen again. I get it.
但先说清楚 我不允许同样的事再发生 我知道
You are intimidated by my teaching methods. Right?
你因为我的教书方式感到威胁了吧 是不是
Yeah, but I make learning fun. If I was a font, I'd be Comic Sans.
我让学习变成了趣事 若我化作字体肯定属漫画体
You are so Times New Roman.
而你铁定只能当方方正正的黑体
Shut the funk door! You know I'd be Wingdings.
你这臭嘴别胡说 我可是当Wingdings的
Crazy. Any-shiz, some of the old school don't get you.
简直是发癫了 无论如何 有些老派的老师还真不懂你
But I do. I'm young, I'm cool and I find your approach...
但我懂 我既年轻又酷 而我觉得你教书方式...
refreshing.
让人神经气爽
However, this little man-to-man is about Rosie. Miss Gulliver.
但我要和你谈的事 是关于Rosie的 Gulliver老师
As Beyonce says, she's a single lady and I'm going to put a ring in it.
如碧昂丝所说 她现是个单身美眉 而我打算给她带上定情戒
What?! You fancy Miss Gulliver?
你说什么?! 你喜欢Gulliver老师?
I likey...
我看上的...
I lighty.
我就得上
Oh, what's that smell?
天啊 这是什么味儿呀
Whiffy banter!
是你放的诙谐戏屁吧!
Oh, for f... Look, what's this got to do with me?
哎呀 我的... 等等 这跟我有什么关系?
Because, Alf, you're going to be my wingman! Uhuh, no way.
还不简单吗Alf 你得当我的僚机 不不 不行
I need your help to get Gulliver to go on a date with me.
我要你帮忙邀Gulliver出来跟我约会
I'll literally follow your every word.
我答应什么都听你的
My EVERY word?
什么都听?
All right. Well, I guess I could give you SOME pointers.
那好吧 我应该能够给你一些建议吧
First piece of advice...
首先
completely ignore her.
你必须完完全全不理睬她
Women love that shit.
女人就吃这套
Really? Yeah, it'll definitely work.
真的吗? 相信我 保证万无一失
I can see we're going to make quite a team.
看来我们会是合作无间搭档
And look, I'm already prepped. Downloaded a chat-up app.
看 我已经准备好了 已经下载了搭讪的应用程序
Let's roll the dice.
游戏开始吧
You're ridiculous.
你还真荒谬
Roses are red, violets are blue,
玫瑰是红的 紫罗兰是紫的
later tonight I'll be hanging out the back of...
今晚我将垂吊在那...
I probably won't use that one, actually.
看来那句还是不用比较好
Can I go now?
我可以走了吗?
So, I decided, this evening,
那个 我想说 今晚
take your mind off Richard, I would book us a little table... No, no,
为了结Richard的心烦事 不如我们... 不不不
absolutely, 100% definitely not.
百分之一百的绝对不行
Sounds like a maybe.
听起来像是有可能
Look, I think the reason things didn't work out with Richard
听着 你和Richard之所以没得圆♥满♥
is cos he was so old and boring.
就是因为他年纪大 人又没趣
You know, what a lot of women prefer nowadays is a toy boy.
你知道 现在很多女人都在找个小男友
Ashton and Demi.
就像艾什顿·库彻和黛米·摩尔
Guy Ritchie and Madonna. All divorced.
盖·里奇和麦当娜 全都离婚了
Ben Ofuedo and Vanessa Feltz.
凡妮莎·费尔兹(英国女主播)和本·哦夫(她未婚夫)
Alf, I love you.
Alf 我是爱你的
Not in that way.
但不是那样的爱
It's just...
只是...
you are a bit immature.
你有点 不够成熟
"You're a bit immature."
"你有点不够成熟"
Mm. Look, I am a grown-up. I do so many grown-up things.
听着 我是个成人 我做过很多成人做的事
I use coasters, I put my posters into frames.
我用杯垫 我会把海报用相框镶起来
I've got a bag-for-life.
我准备好要找共渡一生的另一半了
Share my bag with me, Rosie.
和我一起共度余生吧 Rosie
Did that sound really desperate?
听起来是不是有点太过渴望?
A little.
是有一点
Shit.
妈的
Immature!
不够成熟?!
Hi, yeah, is that TGI Fridays?
你好 请问是 TGI Fridays餐厅吗?
Yeah, I want to cancel a table booked under the name of Wickers.
那个 我想取消Wickers的预约
Well, obviously if I'm cancelling the table,
我既然要取消定位
I also want to cancel the cake.
蛋糕当然也不要了
I can't. What's the point?
我是不行的 这些还有什么意义？
Sir?
老师?
Oh. History or something.
哦 最近不怎么顺
Oh, stop being such a pussy. It's just a girl.
别在娘娘腔了 不就是为个女人吗
That's very perceptive. Oh, no, what I meant to say was,
你真的很懂 噢 不对 我其实想说的是
stop being such a girl, it's only pussy!
别像个女人呻♥吟♥ 不就是为个娘们吗
Right.
是哦
I suppose you'll be looking for a rebound then, sir?
那你是不是要开始另找新欢了 老师
I feel so hurt. So upset.
我感觉太受伤了 好难过
It's like getting kicked in the balls with a football
就好像被足球砸到蛋一样
to the power of Mufasa dying in Lion King.
难过程度就跟大狮王在《狮子王》里死了
Ow! Snap out of it. Wow!
哎哟! 振作点吧 哇
Wow, you've got quite a slap.
你这巴掌真够力啊
Well, you learn to defend yourself
不学点自卫的话
when you're the only kid in the playground with a Sade ringtone.
小时候可不敢在游乐场用莎黛的铃♥声♥
He's right, you need to man up! Ow!
他说的对 你要拿出男人的样子 哎哟!
Right, OK, enough with the slapping.
好了 好了 巴掌刮够了
Sorry, I just wanted to hit you. Hang on, guys,
不好意思 我只是纯粹的想扇你 大家等等
Mr Wickers may be a bit of a twat. Right...
Wickers老师的确是够屄♥♥样 所以...
Despite being a twat... Don't get me wrong, he's definitely a twat.
但尽管他那屄♥♥样 别误会 他肯定十足的屄♥♥样
OK, I think we get the picture. But if he don't mark that shit, he'll get fired,
我该批卷子了 她要是不把试♥卷♥批好的话 就会被炒
then we could end up with a real teacher!
就可能来个正统老师给我们上课
We can say goodbye to class wars and hello to homework.
没得班战打 得开始做功课了
Screw that!
去他妈的!
Oh, God, my parents might send me to one of them all girls' schools
天啊 我父母可能会把我送去女校
where you're not allowed electric toothbrushes or door handles or anything.
没得电动牙刷用 没有门把手 还有其他什么
Of course, Jing!
说得真好 Jing
You guys can mark them.
你们可以自己批试♥卷♥
We'll do the pass-to-the-left method! Why didn't I think of that?
你们互相批改不就行了吗? 我怎么没想到?
Hooray for Jing!
Jing 万岁!
You're a joke.
你真是个笑话
Yeahhhhhhh! Woo!
耶耶耶耶耶! 呜!
A-ha, Alfie Wickers! The Wicker Man!
Alfie Wickers! 柳条人!(电影《柳条人》英文名Wicker-man)
Wickers World! What's going on here?
柳条的世界 在这干嘛呢?
Just organising a post-workage meetage at the pubage,
只是在安排一下 下班后到酒吧聚一聚的事
Duke's Arms... age.
在Duke's Arms酒吧
We're going to talk about the school's charity calendar.
我们想要讨论一下学校慈善挂历的事
I really want to make a speech tonight at parents' evening
我想在今晚的家长会上致词
and the reason I've chosen this God-awful degenerative disease
讲些极其可憎的退化性疾病
is that... I know all about Palmer's Syndrome. Really?
是因为... 我对Palmer综合征无所不知 真的?
Yep.
是的
Personal experience. Sadly.
遗憾的 个人经验
Who?
是谁？
Joe's mum. What, really?
Joe的母亲 你说真的?
Yeah. Yeah, she got the old PS.
是啊 是啊 她不幸得了这病
Caught it on holiday. Caught it?
旅游时被传染的 传染?
What I mean is, it caught up with her on holiday... obviously,
我的意思是 她旅行时 病征愈发发作...
as Palmer's Syndrome isn't contagious.
当然Palmer综合征是不会传染的
It's er... idiopathic.
它是呃...突发性的
Which strand did she contract?
她得的是哪个类型的?
Both of them.
两种都得了