不良教育（2012）

I don't want some predator in a beret groping my daughter.
我可不想那些圆扁帽饿狼 对我闺女虎视眈眈的
Mrs Lythgoe, if it's any consolation
Lythgoe夫人 恕我直言
I think twinkly-eyed Alice will be very low down on their list.
双眼亮闪闪的Alice 应该不会在人家的猎物单上
No, that's appears to have made it worse.
好像越描越黑了
You're all squabbling over what is the most beautiful part in bringing up a child.
大家都在争 该怎样更好的教育孩子
We have to work together to help our kids
我们必须合作才能帮助孩子们
embrace the changes that are going on inside their bodies.
让他们了解自己身体内部的变化
COUGHS: Bullshit! Finally some sense!
胡说! - 总算靠点谱了!
I think it's really important that we make a stand...
还有 坚定立场真的很重要...
Yo, my turn. Um.
该我说了
Just wanted to throw this one out there.
就是想再具体说明一下
If any of the staff or indeed mums that are under the age of 40,
任何四十岁以下的工作人员或者妈妈们
unless they're proper fit...
一定要心智健全哦...
want to come and draw on my wealth
想来见识见识我渊博的
of sexual knowledge,
性知识
you know where my door is.
我的大门永远为您敞开
How can I trust this moron with teaching my children
这种货色怎么能给孩子们普及
something as important as sex education?
性教育这么重要的知识呢?
I can assure you we are more than qualified to deal with this.
这对我们是小菜一碟
Perhaps some of the parents might like to sit in on a class? Mr Wickers!
大家是不是更愿意去教室坐下来聊聊? - Wickers老师!
You'd be happy with that, wouldn't you?
你很乐意效劳 对吧?
Erm...
这个...
Yep. Yeah. Sure, fine, yeah, cool.
当然 挺好的 多好 很酷啊
Share the knowledge. Feel the force.
分享分享知识 释放释放压力
I'm like a sex Yoda.
我就像是性♥爱♥大神
Many times done it, I have.
人家经验满满的啦
Oh, top notch Jedi banter.
顶级星战笑话
Well, that's settled then.
就这么愉快地决定了
What say you meet us all back here at 2.30?
2:30大家在这集♥合♥怎么样?
And I can promise, by the time that mini-bus arrives from France,
那时候法国交换生的小破车差不多就到了
all your little Casanovas will know their pinks from their browns.
到时候你们就知道他们是粉是棕了
OK?
好不?
You need to be aware of all the major sexual organs.
大家需要了解主要的性器官
Yeah.
没错
Labia...
阴♥唇♥...
vulva...
外阴...
vagina.
阴♥道♥
So, we're all good talking about the...
下面我们要谈谈关于...
Anus.
菊花
I thought we could watch a home video
可以看看家庭录像
my husband and I made on our honeymoon.
我和我老公度蜜月时拍的
It's on the internet somewhere.
网上应该有
Acts 15-20.
十五至二十幕
"And Moses did write to them, telling them to abstain
"摩西给他们写信 吩咐他们戒
"from sexual immorality and from the meat of strangled animals."
"淫秽 不食绞死生灵之身"
That's funny, Miss.
好逗啊 老师
I've heard you like to strangle the meat of your animal. Shut up, Grayson.
听说你就喜欢绞死动物 - 闭嘴 Gayson
'And in we go. Back and forth, back and forth!
好进去了 来回 抽♥插♥
Olive, do you want a scotch egg?
Olive要来点苏格兰煮蛋吗
'Who's a good boy?'
谁是淘气仔
Sex was invented...
性♥爱♥是由...
by the Romans.
罗马人发明的
Pornography will give you a totally distorted impression of the female body.
黄色电影所呈现的女性的躯体是完全扭曲的
Those aren't real women.
真正的女人绝不是那种
This is.
看这
It's... Fanny!
真的很...黑木耳!
I give up. I don't know how to do it.
无力了 根本不知道怎么弄
Sir, why don't you just draw a frog's dick
老师 直接画个青蛙的小♥弟♥弟♥得了
so Joe knows what he'll be sucking on next week.
Joe也好知道下周会被谁爆菊
You're an idiot.
你就一煞♥笔♥
Look, Joe,
听我说 Joe
you never know. You might enjoy it.
你都没去过 怎么知道自己不喜欢
I'd rather shit in my hand and clap.
我宁愿拉自己手上 然后鼓掌也不去
Sir, why is it only me
老师 为什么偏偏选中我
that has to go to a French Farm to stay with a bunch of freaks?
去法国农场和一群怪胎共度时光?
Not all farmers are freaks.
农民也不全是怪胎
Alex James - he's in Blur.
Alex Jmes 他组建了污点乐队
But they sent me some cheese, through the post.
他们给我邮寄过奶酪
There you are. That's lovely.
这不就行了 多好啊
Probably made from the farmer's wife's tit milk. Don't be stupid.
可能是人家媳妇的纯天然母乳 - 别捣乱了
They do that. I read it in Nuts. What? Yeah.
是真的 八卦杂♥志♥上有写 - 真的? - 对啊
And you're gonna have to wank off a cow. Why on earth would he have to do that?
你还得给头牛撸管 - 他为啥要干这种事?
To get milk, you pagan.
当然是挤奶了 白♥痴♥
You genuinely think that's where milk comes from?
你真觉得牛奶是这么来的?
Look, France isn't that bad.
听着 法国不是他们说的那样
They've got loads of cool stuff
还是有很多好玩的东西
like skiing and...
滑冰啦还有...
Poirot.
大侦探波罗
Er, Poirot, Jing, erm,
大侦探波罗 Jing 额
he was a fictional detective created by Agatha Christie.
他是阿加莎·克里斯蒂小说里的一名侦探
You know, Murder On The Orient Express.
你知道的 东方快车谋杀案里的那个
Er, don't worry, they murder an American, not one of yours.
别怕 他们杀的是个美国人 跟你们没关系
I can't believe you've actually read a book.
好稀奇 你居然读了一本书
Book?
书?
I watched the TV shows.
我是看的电视
OK, let's do this.
好的 开始吧
And remember, it's all anonymous so you've got nothing to worry about.
记住 确实没什么好担心的
"Should I stop strangling when their lips go blue?"
"当他们的嘴唇发蓝的时候要不要松手?"
Right, I'm not going to even dignify that with a response, Mitchell. Sir!
这种问题请不要问我 Mtchell - 老师!
Will any of the French exchange boys be on Grinder?
来交换的男生里有没有演过《格林德》的?
Stephen, I have no idea.
Stephen 我也不知道
Lucky dip then. Is it too much to ask to have a serious one?
那就看运气了 - 就没有人问个正经点的问题么?
"He's 23, I'm 15, what will it feel like?"
"他二十三 我十五 爱爱会是什么感觉"
Illegal, Chantelle!
有违伦理好吗 Chantelle!
I have just had...the most...
我刚刚上了一堂,,,,最...
amazing sex ed class.
不可思议的性教育课
It was so honest.
太直白了
We had this big discussion about losing your virginity
关于失贞这个问题 我们讨论得相当热烈
and Jason Stephens admitted he was still a virgin.
Jason Stephens承认自己还是处♥男♥
That's good.
真好
No, it wasn't a joke, Alfie. It was heartfelt and moving.
这是真的 Aflie 多么令人感动啊
What's that book? Ah it's, er... Oh, I know this one.
这是什么书? - 这个.... - 我知道这本
It's very helpful with the basics.
要了解基本的性知识 这本不错
Yeah, I mean I didn't really need it.
是啊 我就是随便看看
It was just in class earlier I sort of messed up a diagram of a penis.
刚刚上课的时候 突然不会画小♥弟♥弟♥了
I mean my one of the woman's erm...
我是说女人的 叫什么来着...
Vagina?
阴♥道♥?
Yeah. Vajuja.
对 隐道
I mean that was good cos obviously I've seen many of them,
我觉得那个挺漂亮的 毕竟我见过太多
but, in my time, so I got all the bits right.
这些东西 我一直分得清清楚楚
You know, tubes,
你知道 管管
the eggs,
蛋蛋
and, erm, the...
还有就是...
..lid.
...盖盖
The lid? Do you mean the labia?
盖盖? 你是说阴♥唇♥?
Yes. Yeah.
对 没错
The lab...lab...labia. Labia, yes.
阴...阴...阴♥唇♥ - 阴♥唇♥ 没错
That's what it's called.
我都这么叫
Look, if you're teaching the phallus,
你要是想让学生了解阴♥茎♥
then it's very important you know your own.
先了解你自己的小♥弟♥弟♥
How can you expect your class to understand their bodies
你要怎么教学生让他们明白
if you don't understand yours?
要是你连自己的身体都不了解的话
You don't need this. Just study your own.
别看这书了 好好研究你自己的身体就行
Get to know it.
快去了解呗
What, I mean,
怎么 我是说
should I, like, trace it?
怎么去了解它?
Examine it, don't be afraid of it.
仔细研究 不要害羞
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
是啊 说得好
I don't need this, this shitty book.
谁要这玩意 这破书
There's all my answers.
答案都在这呢