后半生

[反映黑♥手♥党♥题材的美剧"黑道家族"的主人公]
祝她好运
No, good luck to her.
准备好看"千星之夜"了吗
Right, who's ready for A Night of 1000 Stars?
好的 -1000颗星星 对
Yeah! - Thousand stars, yeah.
第一幕 我们请来了艾尔顿·约翰和琪琪·迪[英国歌♥手]
First act, we have got Elton John and Kiki Dee!
其实不是 是母子二重唱
Not really, it's a mother and son duo.
仔细想想是有点奇怪 但别担心
Which is a bit weird when you think about it, but don't worry.
请大家掌声欢迎他们 疯狂地大叫
Anyway, please put your hands together, go mad, go crazy,
有请琼和詹姆斯
it's June and James!
♪ 别让我伤心 ♪
♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪
♪ 我做不到 ♪
♪ I couldn't if I tried ♪
♪ 如果我焦躁不安 ♪
♪ Honey, if I get restless ♪
♪ 宝贝你不是这样 ♪
♪ Baby, you're not that kind ♪
♪ 没有人知道 ♪
♪ Nobody knows it ♪
♪ 从一开始 ♪ -♪ 我交出我的心 ♪
♪ Right from the start ♪ - ♪ I gave you my heart ♪
♪ 我交出我的心 ♪
♪ I gave you my heart ♪
多精彩啊
Well, wasn't that fabulous?
女士们 先生们
Okay, ladies and gentlemen.
你们可能在想那股臭味是哪儿来的
Now, some of you might've been wondering what that awful smell was.
不是下水沟 也不是垃圾桶
No, that smell is not the drains, it's not the bins,
是我们的下一幕
it is our next act!
上帝保佑他 他太不讲卫生了
Bless him, he has got a serious hygiene problem.
他要带来单口喜剧
Now, he's doing a bit of stand-up comedy.
我们都知道这难度非常大 他也不是很擅长
Which, as we all know, is very hard, and he is not very good at it!
那我们祝他好运吧
So, fingers crossed for him, all right?
掌声欢迎... 布莱恩·吉腾斯
Please welcome... Brian Gittins!
我没有想象中那么专业
I'm not as professional as I'd like to be.
要是我哪天能出名
If I ever were to make it big,
小报里可能会爆出我的几段黑历史
there are a few things that might come out in the tabloids about me
所以我得先...
that I feel like I need to...
防患于未然
nip in the bud immediately.
我吹过一次箫
I've given one blow job.
那是... 他是玩音乐的 -吹过一次箫
That's a... He's a hairdresser. - One blowie.
对方是坦布里足球俱乐部的助理经理
The assistant manager of Tambury Football Club.
对 马克·多布森
Yeah, Mark Dobson.
我保证 绝不会发生第二次了
I promise you, that is never going to happen again.
我当时处在人生低谷
Okay? I was at my lowest ebb.
我老婆抛弃了我 跟吉普赛人米奇跑了
My wife had just left me for Mickey the Gypsy.
认识吉普赛人米奇吗 不认识 很好
Do you know Mickey the Gypsy? No? Good.
离他远点
Stay away from him.
因为他会趁你不注意就揍你一顿
'Cause he'll smash your face in as quick as look at ya!
知道了吗
Yeah. Okay? Yeah.
谁想听笑话
Right, who wants some jokes?
请讲 -别忘了这里有孩子
Yeah, please. - Just remember there are children here.
小伙子 你叫什么名字
Hello, son. What's your name?
乔治 -乔治
George. - George?
好名字
Nice name, George.
你几岁了 -九岁
How old are you? - Nine.
我有个笑话要讲给你听 比裤子里的蚂蚁更糟的是什么
I've got a little joke for you, lad. What's worse than ants in your pants?
我不知道
I don't know.
迈克尔·杰克逊
Michael Jackson.
你可不想让他在你内♥裤♥里翻来翻去
Wouldn't want him rummaging round in your underwear, would you?
敲敲门
Knock knock.
你是谁
Who's there?
我的前妻
My ex-wife.
你去死吧 肮脏 邋遢的婊♥子♥
Go fuck yourself, you dirty, manky whore.
我就说到这儿吧
Yeah. I'll leave it there.
我最近不太清醒...
I'm not really in the right headspace or the...
谢谢你们听我说 还有...
Well, thanks for listening. And the...
这闹的是哪出
Bloody hell, what was that?
天哪 真是太恶心了 在市长面前聊吹♥箫♥
My God, absolutely disgusting. Blow jobs in front of the mayor.
太糟糕了
Absolutely vile.
女士们 先生们 真的很抱歉 对不起 市长先生
Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sorry, Mr. Mayor.
快做好垃圾分类
Get them bins sorted!
对嘛 这样才对
There we go. Now we're back.
好
All right.
我登台的时候 你别站在这儿
You're not going to be there while I'm on.
我要 -我们来听诗歌♥吧
Yeah. - Now, let's have a little bit of poetry.
有人喜欢诗歌♥吗 -有
Who loves poetry? - Yeah!
你休想 -有请出色的丽贝卡
No, you're fucking not. - Please welcome the wonderful Rebecca!
我叫丽贝卡
I'm Rebecca.
今晚为大家献上几首自己写的诗
I will be performing some of my poetry for you tonight.
希望你们喜欢
Enjoy.
我想吐 -加油 你可以的
I feel sick. - Come on, you'll be all right.
上帝是女人 以生命筑成王国
God is a woman. Her kingdom is life.
既是自然 也是滋长 既是勇士 也是妻子
She is nature, nurture, warrior, wife
你在她体内成长 她独自而无私
She grew you inside her. Alone, selfless
她献出身体 让你活下去
She gave her body so you could live
全能的造物主 唤醒每一个灵魂
Almighty creator Instigator of every single soul
在牢房♥里等待
In a single cell waiting
她的创世大爆♥炸♥
For her Big Bang.
你这个矮胖子
You dumpy little cunt!
你刚刚放屁了 -别那么对他说话
Did you just fart? - Don't talk to him like that.
我让他不要忍♥屁 忍♥着对他不好
I've told him never to hold it in if he needs to pump, it's bad for him.
他放屁了 -没礼貌
He just farted! - Rude.
他刚刚... 我让你别站在那儿 天哪
He just... I told you not to stand there! My God!
这上面太臭了 -她要下场了
It fucking stinks up here! - She's coming off.
好的 出去吧 轮到你了
Get out there, you have to take over.
去吧 跳舞吧 -去吧 詹姆斯
Come on, do your dance. - Go on, James.
表演给我们看
Give us a show!
好像还把屎拉出来了
I think he's followed through!
我他妈的
Fuckin' hell!
你还好吗
How's it going?
托尼...
Tony...
很遗憾 你父亲过世了
I'm sorry, your dad's passed away.
好
Okay.
我现在过来
I'll come over.
好
Okay.
好 再见
Okay, bye.
真的很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
他是在睡梦中过世的吗 -对 他就...
Was it just in his sleep? - Yeah, he just...
停止了呼吸
just stopped breathing.
我今晚就不打给马特了 明天再告诉他 我...
I won't call Matt tonight, I'll tell him tomorrow, and I'll...
你们会不会... -会 我们会处理好
Will you do all the...? - Yeah. We'll take care of all that.
只需要他的出生证和... -好
I just need his birth certificate and... - Okay.
其他一些零碎的文件
a couple of other bits and pieces.
他是个好人
He was a good man.
他...
He was...
他很善良 -对
He was kind, weren't he? - Yeah.
也很温柔...
And gentle, he...
我小时候 他从没打过我...
He never hit me, he never smacked me...
没揍过我 不管我有多顽皮
as a kid, however naughty I was.
我妈总说 "等你♥爸♥回来有你好受的"
Mum would go, "Wait till your dad gets home."
他回到家后
And he'd come in,
笑着说"你好啊 小子"
all smiles, and he'd go, "Hello, boy!"
她就会告状"他很不听话"
And she'd go, "He's been bad."
他就会叹气
And he'd go,
"儿子 我对你很失望"
"I'm disappointed in you, son."
我就很难过
That would kill me.
别的孩子说老被爸爸用皮带抽
Other kids would say their dad had belted them.
我想 "都比不上他说他失望更让人难过"
And I'd think, "That's nothing to him saying he was disappointed."
我从来不想...
I never wanted to...
让他失望
disappoint him.
我在这儿发脾气时 他没难过吧
I never upset him when I was sitting here grumpy, did I?
没有
No! God.
他很喜欢你过来陪他
He loved you being here.
我脑子很乱 依然很乱 我...
It's just I had a lot on my mind. I still have. I...
我不希望他为我难过...
I'd hate to think that I was upsetting him or...
这儿有些人 来看望他们的家属... 一周才来一次
Do you know, there are some people here that get a visit maybe... once a week.
我好像从没见过 有儿子每天都来看他爸 从没例外
I don't think I've ever known a son visit his dad every day without fail.
即使在他自己很痛苦的时候