我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S06E13
Part 1
June 7, 2022, 4:21 p.m.
Why did I just receive these viewer essays on the subject "why I love tgs?"
我怎么收到 观众就为何喜爱TGS写的征文
- please tell me it's not- the annual tgs viewer walk-on contest.
- 拜托这千万别是 - TGS年度观众跑龙套大赛
It's great promotion,lemon.
这是不错的宣传 Lemon
We found that if someone is actually on nbc,they're 4% more likely to watch it.
我们发现如果某人上了NBC荧屏 就会多4%的可能观看节目
Really?We're doing this again?After what happened last year?
是吗? 去年弄成那样今年又来这套?
- Gassy patsy,you can't eat - Keep the white house white.
- 放屁虫 你不能吃 - 让白宫保持白净
You know who enters these walk-on contests?Weirdos.
知道谁参加龙套大赛不? 怪胎
Read the essays,lemon.It's not going to kill you.
读读文章吧 Lemon 看看又不会死
Oh,really?'cause this one is typed on the inside of a bloody halter top.
是么? 这篇还印在 一件血淋淋的露背胸衣上呢
Just pick one.And while you're at it,which one of these ties do you prefer?
挑一篇看吧 既然来了 看看喜欢那条领带呗?
I thought you said a man should never wear pastel unless he's a black guy on easter.
你不是说除了复活节的黑人 男人绝不能戴粉色系么
usually,but I'm going on the today show to talk about avery,
话是这么说 但我要上今日秀谈谈Avery
and I need to tone down my natural aura of strength and sexual dominance.
强势和雄风得削弱点儿
Which wasn't going to happen with the tie I was going to wear.
本打算戴上的领带可帮不上忙
Oh,my.
哎哟喂
So,uh,what is the news with avery?
Avery有什么消息?
Uh,there isn't any,and that's the problem.
没什么消息 这才是问题关键啊
The u.n.Is useless,the state department is full of democrats,
联♥合♥国♥无能 国♥务♥院♥全是民♥主♥党
and as it turns out,amnesty international is nothing but a company that makes and sells candles.
然后国♥际♥特♥赦♥组织只不过是个 制♥造♥销♥售♥蜡烛的公♥司♥
That explains all the vigils.That is a good scam.
难怪喜欢守夜来着 这骗局真绝
It's been a year,and the media have moved on.
都一年了 众媒体已经放弃了
Media is a plural noun.Put this tie on.
只有一家媒体才对 戴这条吧
I have to find a way to get avery's story back on the front page.
我得想办法把Avery的事情拉回头版
Fortunately,I run a network with a news division,
很幸运 哥管着一家有新闻部门的电视台
and I will do whatever it takes to keep avery's plight in the public eye.
我会尽全力让Avery的遭遇 不淡出公众视线
Even... Go and see matt lauer's band.
就算去看Matt Lauer(The Today Show主持)的 乐队演出也愿意
It's blues rock,lemon.
那是蓝调摇滚啊 Lemon
It's called... Rhythm and news.
名叫...韵律和新闻
Lemon,no.
Lemon 住手
Sir,I've been thinking.
先生 我一直在想
I know I'm a big shot now with my suits and a desk lamp that I control,
自己如今虽是西装革履坐办公室的大人物
but I just want you to know I will always be a page at heart.
但请你明白 我内心永远是个听差
Even if I did just receive a fancy award at my new job.
哪怕刚在新部门领了一份丰厚的奖金
On behalf of the mother standards department,i,gaylord felcher,
代表XX监察部 本人Gaylord Felcher
present you with the "employee of the week" award.
给你颁发"本周最XX员工奖"
Let's give it up for this bag of.
把这包发给这XX吧
So what can I get for you?
您有何吩咐?
And hazel's on it,tracy.
Hazel就会去办滴 Tracy
Kenneth,can I speak with you?
Kenneth 单独谈谈?
Can you?You just did.
单独? 你这不就是单独谈么
What's your problem?
你怎么回事?
Oh,my,well... My parents were technically brothers-
这...我父母其实是兄弟...
Look,I'm trying to do my job here.Tracy's my responsibility now.
这里是我负责 Tracy现在是我的职责范围
I take care of him.
他由我照顾
Oh,well,I'm sorry,ms.What's-her-name,
抱歉 不知名小姐
but I'll always be there for Mr.Jordan.
我会一直陪着Jordan先生
He has a special place in my heart.
他在我心占着特殊地位
Just like nana parcell,my heartworm.
正如Parcell奶奶 我的心头肉
Hey,jack.What are you still doing here?Your segment was bumped.
Jack 你还在这干什么? 你的节目被砍了
What?Why?
什么? 为什么?
You guys doing another hard-hitting expose on how to plan a staycation with your cyber bully?
你们又在利用网上恶言相向 强有力地报道如何宅家?
No,it's real news for once.There was a mine collapse in china.
这次真有新闻 天朝发生一起矿井坍塌
Turns out,to keep labor costs down,all the miners there are babies.
为削减劳工成本 那里所有矿工都是娃娃
They pay 'em in yogurt.
他们用酸奶当工资
God.Remember when we used to be the world leader in baby cuteness?
老天 还记得咱曾经是萌宝的领军不?
I can't compete with that.
这我没法比啊
Also,adult dogs can't fit in the baby mines,
还有 成年狗进不去小矿井
so they're lowering down puppies to bring in supplies.
所以他们换小狗送物资
Hey,thanks for coming to see my band last night.
感谢昨晚来我的乐队捧场
Yes,I didn't expect you to play for four hours.
是啊 我可没想到你们唱了4小时
Hey,dummies,I need you guys to write a sketch
傻瓜们 给我写个剧本
with a non-speaking part for whoever wins this dumb contest.
里面要有获胜者的角色 但没有台词
And do not write another sketch about krang from teenage mutant ninja turtles.
别再写关于忍♥者神龟里Krang的小品了
No one knows who krang is.It would be a waste of time to talk about krang on television.
没人知道什么是Krang 在电视上提Krang就是浪费时间
No more krang!
不许再有Krang!
- Liz? - Krang!What the hell,hazel?
- Liz? - Krang! 你在搞什么 Hazel?
Can I ask your advice,woman to woman?
我能向你讨教嘛 女人和女人之间的交流?
Are you sure?'cause I took one of those
你确定? 我可是参加了"你是何种八婆"
"which gossip girl are you?" quizzes,and it said I was the dad's guitar.
的小测试 答案却是我是爸爸的吉他
Please.You are so amazing.
拜托 你棒极了
This place is such a boys' club,but you boss them around like an amazon warrior queen.
这地方就是个男人的地盘 但你却像个亚马逊族的女皇一样指挥着他们
And look at your body.Your rack is like,"pow!"
看看你的身材 样子就好比"来吧"!
- hazel,what is the question? - It's kenneth.
- Hazel 你想问啥? - 是关于Kenneth的
He's not a page anymore,but he keeps trying to do my job for me.
他不再是个听差了 但他总是干扰我
And when I confronted him about it,he was so condescending.
而我和他对质时 他又很傲慢
He laughed at me,and then he undressed me with his eyes.
他嘲笑我 然后用目光除去我的衣服
And then he had his way with me.With his eyes.
接着用他的方法对付我 就是他的目光
- The male gaze. - Yeah.
- 男性凝视目光 - 对
They're all a bunch of gays.
他们应该都是弯的
No,kenneth is sweet,but he's still a man.
不 Kenneth人很好 但他仍然是个男的
And in our society,men get praised for just taking whatever they want.
我们所处的世界 男人处心积虑就能得到表扬
But what do people call women who are tough and ambitious?
但人们是怎么称呼那些强势又有进取心的女人呢?
Leslie or courtney?
Leslie或者Courtney?
What?No.A bitch.
啥? 不对 答案是贱♥人♥
Well,you may be at the bottom of the totem pole now,but you're in the game.
现在 你或许处在等级制度里的底层 但你并没有出局
So play it like a man and don't let anyone try to stop you.
像男人一样去战斗 别让任何人阻止你
Just like the karate kid - Hilary swank,karate kid iv.
就像"功夫小子4"里的Hilary Swank一样
I want you to be my mentor.
我想让你成为我的导师
Julie-san,fighting not good.
Julie桑 打架不好
But if must fight,win.Kesuke miyagi,karate kid iv.
但如果不得不战 一定要赢
I accept!
Kesuke Miyagi 我接受你了!
You listen to me,blitzer.
你听好了 Blitzer
Either cnn gets back on the avery jessup story,
要么CNN能重提Avery Jessup的遭遇
or I'll tell everyone your real name,steel hammerhands.
否则我就告诉所有人你的真名Steel Hammerhands
Hello?Steel?Mr. Hammerhands?
喂? Steel? Hammerhands?
Jack.I have an important actor request.
Jack 我提一个很重要的演员申请
This is not really a good time,jenna.
现在不是时候 Jenna
I want you to hire a giant to stand in the background
我想让你雇一个巨人站在背景里
of every scene I'm in to make me look daintier.
这样每一个镜头我都会显得很精致
It works.It's why lamar odom married that giant kardashian girl.
会有效果的 就好比Lamar Odom 娶了那个女巨人Kardashian
I run a tv network,and I still can't get my wife's story on the air.
我掌管一个电视台 但我却不能播放我老婆的遭遇
The world may have forgotten about avery,but I haven't.
世界或许已经遗忘了Avery 但我没有
Sometimes at night,I sit here in the dark,drinking scotch,staring at that doorway,
在夜晚 有时候我会在黑暗中 喝着威士忌 凝视着门口
hoping against hope that she'll walk as if nothing ever happened.
希望她出现 就像没事发生过一样
"i'm home,jack.
"我回来了 Jack
And I brought back a bunch of oriental sex powders.
还带回来一些东方春♥药♥"
" I know how you can get avery back on television.
我知道怎样才能让Avery上电视
Her story has everything!
她的故事很有内容!
Blondeness,kidnapping,a villain with an accent.
是个金发 被绑♥架♥ 一个有口音的坏人
It's the perfect tv movie.I should know.
是最佳的电影题材 我了解的
I played italian party whore in the amanda knox story.
我在"Amanda Knox的遭遇"里 演过一个意大利派对妓♥女♥
A tv movie-jenna,I don't want to trivialize this ordeal.
Jenna 我不想让电影把这段苦难淡化了
But those movies get results.
但是很有效
Every kidnapped woman I've ever played has been released.
每一个我演的被俘女人都被释放了
Well,it would allow me to control the story.
那我要操手运作了
Well,you better hurry,jack.Oxygen is already working on a movie about the baby miners.
那你得抓紧了 Jack Oxygen频道已经开始筹划婴儿矿工电影了
Then we'll have to slow them down.
咱得拖住他们
Gabriel... Send a bunch of pies to the oxygen network.
Gabriel 给Oxygen送几个大馅饼过去
Excuse me,ms.What's-her-name.What's that?
我说 不知名女士 那是个啥?
Not that it's any of your business,but tracy's jaw is tired from pretending to be pac-man.
与你无关 Tracy装吃豆人 装得腮帮子疼
So I'm making it easier for him to eat.
这样好让他吃东西少费劲
No!No!
不!
He can't eat that junk.He just got his cholesterol down to triple digits.
他可不能吃这破东西 胆固醇刚降回三位数
Get off my ass,parcell.I'm doing my job.
滚开 Parcell 姐工作呢
You think you can push me around just because you have a penis?
怎的 长个小JJ了不起啊?
I definitely have a penis.
那个哥绝对有
You think I'm some delicate little girl who'll do whatever you say?
你以为姐弱不禁风 你说啥就听啥哇?
Well,I'm not delicate.I've been in tons of car wrecks.
我可不弱 姐撞车都撞了好几回了
Hazel,I just peed this.Could you take care of it for me?
Hazel 我刚尿在这玩意上了 帮我照看一下好咩?
Sir!I am resuming responsibility for your care.
先生! 我要恢复原职
我为喜剧狂（2006）
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