定制伴郎

我们的歌♥ 你非常美丽
To our song, You Are So Beautiful.
-是乔·库克唱的 -谢谢
-That's by Joe Cooker. -Thanks.
-怎么了 -那不是我们的歌♥
-What? -That's not our song.
-那不是我们的歌♥ -亲爱的 这当然是了
-That's not our song. -Honey, of course it is.
不 那不是
No, it's not.
怎么了 宝贝 你不记得了么
Yeah. Babe, don't you remember?
我们第一次做♥爱♥的时候 你那坏掉的CD
Your broken CD player repeated it over and over and over
一直在一遍又一遍的重复这首歌♥
the first time we made love.
那真是太棒了
It was so amazing.
那不是我
That wasn't me.
那是你的前男友 史蒂夫
That was your ex, Steve.
而且我知道 是因为这已经是你第五次跟我讲这个故事了
And I know that because you've told me this story about five times.
所以
So...
好吧 亲爱的 但这还是一首好歌♥啊
Well, you know, honey, it's still such a beautiful song.
我是说 当你认真听它的歌♥词的时候
I mean, when you really listen to the words.
亲爱的 这是我最喜欢的 拜托
Honey, it's my favorite. Please.
好吧
Sure.
我需要先交押金
I'm going to need a deposit.
先生们 在这个钱包里面
Gentlemen, in these wallets,
有你们的驾照 信♥用♥卡♥
you have a license, credit cards,
还有300块现金
and $300 cash.
这些袋子里面
These bags here contain
有你们为了预演晚餐和婚礼上需要的西服
your suits for the rehearsal dinner as well as the wedding.
大家休息一下 我们现在出发去0800地区的中学
You guys get some rest. We leave for the high school at 0800.
我们去中学干什么
What are we doing at the high school?
-嘿 老爸 -别叫我老爸
-Hey, Dad. -Don't ever call me Dad.
所以我们觉得今天的场地有一些泥泞
So, we were thinking maybe the field's a little too muddy today.
你听起来像我的女儿 不能够比这再好了 小子们
You sound like my daughters. It doesn't get any better than this, boys.
来吧 你们这群娘娘腔
Come on, you pussies.
-好吧 好的 -好的 听起来不错
-Okay. Yeah, all right. -All right. Sounds good.
我们要跟这些老家伙们玩么
We're playing these old guys?
听着 娱乐为主 伙计们 好吗
Listen. Let's just keep it fun, fellows, all right?
过去 把这些老家伙逗乐
Go out here, amuse these old geezers.
没必要讲他们不爱听的事情
There's no need to rub it in their faces.
我们可不想被人看扁
We wouldn't want to see any coronaries.
你们这些小伙子看起来太弱了
You boys look a little soft.
那个家伙看起来好眼熟
That dude looks familiar.
你们确定你们可以应付的了两路进攻吗
Are you sure you can handle going both ways?
-我听说道格很乐在其中 -什么
-I heard Doug enjoys that. -What?
躺下吧 伙计 娘娘腔
Sit, pal! Pussies!
他有空档了
He's open!
膝下阻挡 那是一个膝下阻挡
Chop block! That's a chop block!
-耶 耶 -触地得分 七个废物
-Yeah! Yeah! -Touchdown. Seven-zip.
-我被揍了 -我觉得这是触身式橄榄球
-I just got punched. -I thought this was touch football.
不阻挡是玩不了橄榄球的 婊♥子♥
You can't play football without blocking, bitch.
这群老混♥蛋♥简直太快了
That old motherfucker is fast as shit.
他们抓住了我们没有提放
They just caught us off guard.
我们能再商量一下规则吗
Can we discuss the rules again?
-来吧 道格 站起来 -不错的防守
-Come on, Doug, get up. -Good D!
这是韦伯斯特
It's Webster!
这些老家伙又快又疯 这可是肖恩·约翰 混♥蛋♥
Those old guys are fast and crazy, man. This is Sean John, bitch!
回到你那边 失败者
Back on your side, loser.
-你的手臂真结实 先生 -打倒我 小子
-You have a really nice arm, sir. -Blow me, kid.
胡特 我们走 道格
Hut! Let's go, Doug!
我没有球
I don't have the ball!
-尝尝这个 瘸子 -你们真是太刻薄了
-Take that, gimp! -You're so mean!
-搞什么 我可是在轮椅上面 -他在轮椅上面
-What the fuck? I'm in a wheelchair! -He's in a wheelchair!
嘿 死胖子 我们准备搞你的妹妹了
Hey, fat ass, we're going to do your sister!
-我没有妹妹 -在你的屁♥股♥里
-I don't have a sister. -In the ass!
蓝狗在左侧 奥马哈
Blue dog left, Omaha!
-耶 -耶 哥们
-Yeah! -Yeah, brother!
该死
Shit.
为什么
Why?
-你真是让人难堪 -你的岳父真是混♥蛋♥
-You're such a fucking embarrassment. -Your father-in-law is a dick.
-老天 72号♥刚才打了我 -好吧 就这样吧
-God, 72 just bit me! -All right, that's it.
看看我们
Look at us.
你们去的哪个防守学校啊 娘娘腔学校吗
Where'd you go to defense school, Munchkinland?
这个说得好
Good one!
去你的 伙计们 要动真格的了
Fuck this, fellows. Shit just got real.
起来 伙计们 我们要给这些
Get up, guys. We're about to give these
老家伙们 尝尝年轻人的滋味
old bitches a nice little serving of youth.
-好了 准备 -准备开球我们冲
-All right, ready! -Set. Hike! Let's go!
冲啊 冲 迪克森 耶
Go, go, Dickerson! Yeah!
老婊♥子♥
Old bitch!
胡特
Hut!
感觉怎么样
How does it feel?
-该死 -我们冲
-Fuck! -Hike! Let's go!
老天
God!
-给胡特 -漏球了
-Hutone. -Fumble!
-我拿到球了 我拿到球了 -这边道格
-I've got the ball! I've got the ball! -This way, Doug!
-这边 -我拿到球了
-This way! -I've got the ball!
冲冲冲
Go, go, go!
继续冲
Keep going!
-漏球了 -漏球了
-Fumble! -Fumble!
堆狗堆
Dog pile!
我们的球 我们的球
Our ball! Our ball! Our ball!
好的 挺好了 你们所有人
Okay, listen, y'all.
我这是第一次说 我们低估了这些老家伙们
I'll be the first to say that we underestimated these old sons of bitches.
听着 现在我们要重回游戏申
Listen! Right now, we are back in the game.
再来一次触地得分我们就赢了 伙计们
The next touchdown wins, guys.
现在 道格 我要坦白跟你说 老兄
Now, Doug, I gotta be honest with you, man.
你玩的真是烂
You played a pretty shitty game.
最后一件我要做的事情
And the last thing I want to do
就是把球递到你的手上
is put the ball in your hands, but I do know this.
但是我知道这一点
but I do know this.
我知道你比大艾德要跑的快 我知道我可以把球传给你
I know that you're faster than Big Ed. I know that I can throw you the ball.
但是我需要知道 是否你打算接着那该死的球
But what I need to know is if you're going to catch the goddamn ball.
嘿 看着我 别把球传给我
Hey, look at me. Please don't throw me the ball.
-道格 离我远点 -老兄 你的法律界老爸恨你
-Doug, get off of me. -Man, your father-in-law hates you.
听着 我会把球传给你 然后你要接住 好吗
Listen, I will throw it to you and you're going to catch it. Okay?
-拿出点胆量来 -你需要的 道格
-Get some fucking balls right now! -You need this, Doug.
-像个男人 -这已经不是游戏了
-Be a man. -This isn't a game anymore.
-你的岳父对你一点尊重都没有 -给他看看你是个男人
-Your father-in-law has no respect for you. -Show him you're a man.
-像个男人一样1 2 3 -加油
-Be a goddamn man! One, two, three. -Break!
往远跑
Hike!
耶
Yeah!
我的天啊
My God.
你觉得他们怎么样 小苹果们
How did you like them apples?
你说"艾德"的时候 不能不带上"孬种"两个字
You can't spell "Ed" without "Bitch"!
放轻松 他将来可是你的父亲
Easy there. That's going to be your dad.
我真为你高兴 老兄
I'm so happy for you, man.
你不是孬种
You're not a bitch!
我告诉过你们要小心一点
I told you guys to be careful.
我就知道有人会受伤的 看看这个
I knew someone would get hurt. Look at this.
好吧 公平起见 我们只是想娱乐一下
Well, to be fair, we were just having fun
直到你♥爸♥爸和他的朋友
until your dad and his friends
决定把它变成决斗竞技
decided to make it an MMA blood sport.
-别把屎盆子扣我头上 -嘿 嘿 现在
-Don't pin this shit on me. -Hey, hey, now.
-我的天啊 -那些人是谁
-My God. -Who the hell are those guys?
你在说什么 那些是我的朋友们
What are you talking about? Those are my friends.
那是犹他州的米切尔·兰比斯校长
That's Principal Mitchell Rambis from Utah.
在轮椅里的那个 那是普伦基特
In the wheelchair, that's Plunkett.
还有那是杰出的哲学家艾拉·德奈斯代尔
And that's the brilliant philosopher, Ira Drysdale.
不 不
No. No, no.
这真是是我这辈子见过最奇怪的一组人了
That's the strangest looking group of guys I've ever seen in my life.
你什么意思 这些是我的哥们
What do you mean? Those are my boys.
怎么样 老兄
What's up, man?
过得怎么样 道格
How are you doing, Doug?
我的天啊 真是过了很久啊 难道不是么
My, this has been a long time coming, hasn't it?
帕尔默斯 见到你们很荣幸
Palmers, it's an honor.