定制伴郎

-你好 -嗨 是赛斯吗
-Hello. -Hi. Seth?
-怎么了 -嘿 我是道格
-Yeah? -Hey, there, it's Doug.
抱歉 哪个道格
I'm sorry. Doug who?
道格·哈里斯 你知道的 道格·哈里斯
Doug Harris. You know, Doug Harris.
"波斯地毯·道格" "辣椒芝士·道格"
"Persian Rug Doug"? "Chili Cheese Doug"?
-"防晒指数60" -当然了 老兄
-"SPF 60"? -Of course, man.
防晒指数 60 过得怎么样 老兄 很久没见了
SPF 60, how are you, brother? It's been a long time.
我知道我们很久没说过话了
I know we haven't spoken in a while
但我实际上打过来 是因为我有一些好消息要告诉你
but I was actually calling because I've actually got some really great news.
-我要结婚了 伙计 -哇 真是太棒了 恭喜你
-I'm getting married, bud. -Wow! That's amazing. Congratulations.
我们非常兴奋 实际上 我特别兴奋
We're very excited and, in fact, I'm doubly excited
因为我给你打电♥话♥看看 你是否愿意做我的伴郎
because I'm calling to see if maybe you would want to be my best man.
喔 我是说 这有一点尴尬
Wow. I mean, this is a little bit awkward.
我觉得我们还没有好到那种地步
I feel like we're not at that level.
感觉我们并不是很了解对方 你知道吗
It feels like we don't know each other that well. You know?
不 我不觉得是那样 关于那次
No, I don't feel that way. What about that...
赛斯 那次在卡尔斯巴德洞穴度过的周末呢
Seth, what about that weekend in Carlsbad Caverns?
我是说 那次是九年级实地考察旅行 整个班的都去了
I mean, that was the 9th grade field trip. The whole class went.
我能把日期告诉你吗 也许你只是想来看看
Can I give you the dates? Maybe you just want to look into it.
你还在吗 赛斯
Are you still there, Seth?
我不知道怎么说 道格
I don't know what to say, Doug.
我是说 我并没有邀请你来我的婚礼
I mean, I didn't invite you to my wedding.
没事的 没事
That's okay. That's okay.
是的 你并不能把所有你想邀请的人都邀请过去
Yeah, you can't invite everyone that you want to.
实际上 我们邀请了所有我们想邀请的人
Actually, we did invite everyone we wanted to.
我们邀请了 大概400位客人
We had, like, 400 guests.
大学一年级 你的舍友
Freshman year? Your roommate?
我听说你死了
I heard you died.
不 不 那是伦恩·布罗菲我是另一个
No. No, that's Len Brophy. I'm the other one.
实话说吧 你是我想到的第一个人
Truth be told, you're the first person I thought of.
那是同意还是不同意
Is that a yes or a no?
你好 爱德华多
Hola, Eduardo.
很抱歉 您所拨♥打♥的电♥话♥无法接通
We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected,
或者已经停机
or is no longer in service.
如果你觉得这不是你想听到的录音
If you feel you have reached this recording in error,
请检查一下号♥码 然后重新拨♥打♥
please check the number and try your call again.
斯蒂芬
Stephen!
罗伯塔
Roberta!
斯蒂芬
Stephen!
所有人都不在办公室了么
Is everyone out of the office?
蒂莫西
Timothy!
有人吗
Somebody!
救命
Help!
我的腿没有知觉了
I can't feel my fucking legs!
让我们 动起来
Let's get, get off!
恭喜
Maze! to v!
动起来
Off!
屋顶
Roof!
你们必须知道 好的 我不会撒谎
You have to know that. Okay. I ain't lying.
是的 我过去是一个缺乏浪漫主义的人
Yeah. I've always been a bit of a hopeless romantic myself.
如果我们的另一半真的存在于某个地方
If our true match exists somewhere,
那我们的目标就是找到她
it's our goal in life to find her.
但是 你们看 安德鲁要比我理性一些
But, see, Andrew's a bit more rational than me.
安德鲁总是相信"命中注定"
Andrew always believed that "the one"
是音乐家和好莱坞里面的闹剧
was a farce created by musicians and Hollywood.
直到去年12月
Until last December.
安德鲁给我打电♥话♥ 他说
Andrew calls my cell phone and he says,
"记得我说过的那些根本就没有"命中注定"
"Remember all that stuff I said about there being no such thing
这回事吗
as 'the one'?"
他说"好吧 是我错了 她的名字是吉娜·贝克"
He said, "Well, I was wrong. Her name is Gina Baker.
"她还不知道这些 但是她会成为我的妻子"
"And she doesn't know this yet, but she's going to be my wife."
我知道在那一刻
And I knew at that moment
这个吉娜·贝克是世界上最幸运的女孩
that this Gina Baker was the luckiest girl in the world.
但是在过去的几天里面 我慢慢的了解你
But after getting to know you these past few days,
今晚又见到了你 吉娜
and as I look at you tonight, Gina,
我知道这一刻 安德鲁是世界上最幸运的家伙了
I know at this moment that Andrew is the luckiest guy in the world.
因为我知道你们两个都找到了"命中注定"
Because I know that you both have found "the one."
我说过我不打算这么做
I said I'm not going to do it.
我想提议大家干杯
I want to propose a toast.
敬新郎
This is to the groom,
我最好的朋友
my best friend,
和他美丽的新娘
and his beautiful new bride.
希望你们"以后永远快乐"
This is to "happily ever after."
-我爱你们两个 -干杯
-I love you both. -Cheers!
-恭喜 伙计 -说的很好
-Congrats, man. -Great speech.
那么 你还是一个没有浪漫情节的人吗
So, are you still the hopeless romantic?
这个 我不会说"毫无救药"
Well, I wouldn't say "hopeless."
嘿 我能跟你聊两句吗 一会就好
Hey, can I speak to you for a minute? Like, two seconds.
好的 我马上就回来 宝贝
Yeah. I'll be right back, babe.
我不知道要说些什么了 老兄
I don't even know what to say, man.
你看到他们的表情了吗 他们在微笑
Did you see their faces? They were smiling.
嘿 嘿 老兄
Hey, hey! Man,
你刚才看到 刚才那个女孩漂亮的胸部了吗
did you see the beautiful titties on that girl back there?
我要在她离开之前跟紧她 所以如果你能
I'm trying to tag her ass before she passes out, so if you could just...
是的 好的 你的假发有点歪了
Yeah, sure. Your wig's a little askew.
-没事的 谢谢你 -好的 所以我猜就是这样了
-That's fine. Thank you. -Okay. So, I guess that's it.
-你知道规矩了 -我知道 我只是以为
-You know the rules. -I do. I just thought that...
-以为什么 -我以为我们可以合得来 对吧
-Thought what? -I thought we maybe hit it off, right?
不 我们绝对不行
No. We definitely didn't.
你是个不错的孩子但是很不幸生意就是生意
You're a great kid, but unfortunately, a deal is a deal.
在最后付款以后 就没有任何联♥系♥了
There's no contact after final payment.
我应该多收你钱的
I should have charged you more.
我是认真的 老兄 你今晚得到了真家伙
I'm serious, man. You got the real deal tonight.
我很专心的 宝贝
I was in the zone, baby.
-是的 不错 -不 我们不那样做
-Yeah, great. -No, we don't do that.
-好吧 -谢谢你 老兄
-Sure. -Thank you, man.
你先请
After you.
去哪里 老大
Where to, boss?
尽管开就行了 奥蒂斯 开车就行了
Just drive, Otis. Just drive.
定制伴郎
妈妈和我已经把范围缩小到 银制薄纱花束
Mom and I narrowed it down to the silver tulle tussie-mussie,
这个实际上是 1915年德克萨斯州花束的复♥制♥品
which is an exact replica of the 1915 Texan Tussie-Mussie.
或者我们有这个雕刻着太平灰蝶花装饰的
Or we have our Tre's Beau with its goldia floral etching,
银制烟状的色调的
enhanced in a smoky-silver tone.
现在有人觉得很讨厌同性恋吗
Does anyone else feel really fucking gay right now?
-艾德 -我们就用太平灰蝶的吧
-Ed! -Let's go with the Tre's Beau.
太平灰蝶的花束真的是难以置信的
Tre's Beau tussie-mussie is fabulous.
天啊 来个人杀了我吧 我去外面待着
Christ, somebody just shoot me. I'll be outside.
好了 大家 我们能聚在一块吗 拜托
All right, team, can we all gather around, please?
好的 我已经有所有伴娘的信息了
Okay. I have everything I need for the bridesmaids,
但是我还没有伴郎的信息
but I am still missing the groomsmen's information.
什么 亲爱的 你告诉我
What? Honey, you told me
你已经跟所有的伴郎谈过了
you spoke to all the groomsmen.
你看 我给他们发了邮件 但是你知道这些家伙
See, I sent them an email, but you know how guys are.
他们只是还没有回复
They just haven't responded yet.
宝贝 我知道你最近很忙
Babe, I know you've been really busy,
但是我们的婚礼就只有10天了
but our wedding is in 10 days.
我的意思是 你的伴郎就不能帮帮你吗
I mean, can't your best man help you with all of this?
但是你看 比得还在萨尔瓦多
But you see, Bic's still in El Salvador.
好吧 那我们希望他下周能在洛杉矶
Well, let's hope he's in LA next week.
-他会的 -妈妈
-He will be. -Mom.
他会在那的
He'll be there.
好的 你看 为什么我不联♥系♥一下兰比斯先生
Okay, look, why don't I just contact Mr. Rambis,
加维先生 普伦基特先生 卡鲁先生
Mr. Garvey, Mr. Plunkett, Mr. Carew,
德赖斯代尔先生 阿尔扎多先生 迪克森先生呢
Mr. Drysdale, Mr. Alzado, Mr. Dickerson?
-我不能呼吸了 -先生 你还好吗
-I can't breathe. -Mister, are you okay?
亲爱的 亲爱的
Honey. Honey!
除非你打算逃跑
Unless you are planning to run,
你在把自己处于困境之中
you are backing yourself into a very tight corner.
我想我不明白你在暗示什么
I'm not sure I understand what you're implying.
你7个伴郎里面的3个 都是名人纪念堂里的人物