关于哈利的那些事（2020）

几乎从我俩认识就开始谈了吧
almost the entire time I've known you.
阿布
Bry!
布莱恩
Bryan!
嗨 妞儿
Hey, girl!
嗨 大美妞儿
Hey, real girl!
嗨
Hey.
两只单身狗 一人一杯酒
Two Solo cups for two solos.
懂我吗
Get it.
-干杯 姐♥妹♥们♥ -干杯
‐ Cheers, queers. ‐ Cheers!
大部分的帅哥
Most of the hot guys have congregated
都在同杯球那一桌
to the queer pong table.
同志们玩的投杯球 你懂的
That's beer pong for... You get it.
那儿是你碰运气的好地方
Anyway, that's where you'll have the best luck
除非你喜欢的是女孩儿
unless you're into the ladies.
不好意思我只是个小小直女
Ohh, just your basic straight girl unfortunately.
那就去同杯球桌吧
Queer pong it is, then.
别担心 那一桌还是有很多直男的
Don't worry. There's plenty of straight meat over there too.
来吧 走
Okay, let's go. Come on.
多谢了 布莱恩
Thanks, Bryan.
很显然 芝加哥有几百万单身人士
So apparently, there's a million single people in Chicago,
但我还是找不到对象
and I still can't get a date.
你能找到对象的
Oh, you can get a date.
你只是不敢去尝试罢了
You're just too scared to try.
我没有不敢 我只是挑剔
I'm not scared, I'm picky.
挑剔只是个借口
Picky is just an excuse
好让你不用走出舒适圈
so you don't have to put yourself out there.
-不对 -是吗
‐ Not true. ‐ Really?
那这样吧 我指几个人
Okay, then you know what? I'm gonna pick out some guys,
你去跟他们搭讪
and you're going to go talk to them.
好吧
Fine.
那就
What about...
他
him?
巨嘴鸟萨姆吗
Oh, who, Toucan Sam?
听他们说大鼻子都有大秘密
You know what they say about big noses.
大块儿鼻屎
Big boogers.
你好恶心
You're gross. Okay.
那不如就
Fine. What about...
他
him.
失散多年的卡戴珊老哥
Oh, the lost Kardashian brother?
我敢保证他的相册里
I guarantee you that his camera roll is
95%都是他自己的照片
95 percent pictures of himself.
好吧 挑剔先生
Okay, fine, Mr. Picky.
那么就
What about...
穿背带裤的
Overalls?
他绝对是你的菜
He's totally your type.
说实话 他身材那么好
Honestly, with a body like that,
就算你不可以
if he's not good enough for you,
那我可以
he is definitely good enough for me.
我靠
Oh shit!
-萨姆 -我们能离开这儿吗
‐ Sam! ‐ Can we get out of here?
-萨姆 -为什么 他是谁 你想让我揍他吗
- Sam! ‐ Why? Who is that? You want me to beat him up?
-不用 -舔狗萨米
‐ No. ‐ Suck‐up Sammy!
晚了
Oh, too late.
你好吗 最近怎么样
What's up? How you been, man?
挺好的 你呢
Good, man! How about you?
像草莓馅儿一样逍遥[俚语]
Uh, you know, chillin' like strawberry fillin'.
甜甜圈里的草莓馅
Li‐like in a doughnut.
很好吃
You know, tasty.
我有点喝醉了
I‐I'm kind of wasted.
对了 我叫哈利
I'm Harry, by the way.
我知道你
Oh, I know who you are.
是吗
Yeah?
你是谁
Well, uh, who are you?
这位是斯塔西娅 我死党
This is Stasia, my best friend.
棒
Nice.
你怎么来参加单身派对了
So, uh, what are you doing at a Singles Only party?
你不是有女朋友吗
I thought you had a girlfriend.
-啥 -你女朋友 莉迪亚
‐ Huh? ‐ Your girlfriend. Lydia.
我没说错吧
That's her name, right?
你跟她吵了一架
The one that you had the big fight with,
所以你得搭我的车回家
so you had to ride with me back home.
-然后你俩又和好了 -对
‐ And then you guys made up. ‐ Yeah.
把我抛下了
So you ditched me.
我没抛下你 是我女朋友来了
I didn't ditch you, my girlfriend showed up.
随便吧
Whatever.
我猜你们没在一起了
I'm guessing you guys aren't still together,
你都想不起她的名字
seeing as you can't remember her name?
对 我们分手了
Nah, uh, we broke up
在我们到芝加哥前就分了
before we even got back to Chicago.
如果你在旅行后
If you'd ever texted me back
联♥系♥我的话
after our road trip,
就应该知道我跟她分手了
you might have known that.
抱歉 我
Yeah, sorry, I just, um...
我回了学校 忙着上课
I‐I got back to school and got wrapped up in classes.
你了解我的
You know me.
在莉尼亚之后
um, after Lynnea...
-是莉迪亚 -对
‐ Lydia. ‐ Right.
莉迪亚 莉尼亚是之后的事了
Lydia. Lynnea came after.
中间还有第一个麦克
Before the first Mike.
我想说 我感觉自己
Anyway, so let's just say that I just felt like
在靠近泛性恋的刻板印象
I was playing into the whole pan stereotype,
-所以我 -什么印象
‐ So I... ‐ Which is?
你知道的 跟很多人发♥生♥关♥系♥
That we, you know... get around.
"跟很多人发♥生♥关♥系♥" 是浪荡的委婉表达吗
"Get around." Is that, like, a nice way of saying "Slutty"?
别这样
Ah, come on.
我是个浪漫主义者
I'm a romantic.
你知道的
You know that.
我在等我那位
I'm just looking for Mr...
真命天女
Mrs...
或者真命天子
Person Right.
你知道他们是怎么说的
Bu‐but you know what they say,
精神错乱的定义是重复做
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing
同样的事情
over and over again
还指望得到不同的结果
and expecting a different result,
于是我决定罢了
so... I decided to pull the plug,
单着吧
go full monk.
不谈恋爱 从此禁欲
No more dating. Totally celibate.
你 禁欲
You... are celibate?
多久了
For how long?
好吧 就几天吧
Okay, it's only been a couple of days.
我认真的
I'm serious about this.
怎么
What?
-怎么 -对了
‐ What? ‐ You know what?
-斯塔西娅 -天哪
‐ Stasia? ‐ Oh my God!
我要去续一杯
I'm gonna get a refill
或者来点烈的
or some embalming fluid.
这样就没这么震撼了 天哪
Because that would be less strong. My God!
好吧 如果你真的不打算谈恋爱
Okay. So if you're so serious about not dating,
那你来派对干嘛
why are you at this party?
我朋友拉我来的
Oh yeah, my friends dragged me.
加上我在粉刷我的新公♥寓♥
Plus I've been painting my new apartment,
我需要来点"洗刷子水"
and I needed something to clean the paintbrushes.
毕业之后 你都在
So, uh, what have you been up to
干什么呢
since graduation?
我...
I'm, um...
在为纳迪亚·库斯托效力
working for Nadia Custo.
我应该认识吗
Should I know who that is?
我不知道 你约过她吗
I don't know, did you date her?
没有啦 她在竞选市长
No, she's running for mayor.
她是个真正的变革者
She's a, a real progressive,