爸爸的好儿子（2012）

你真是个疯子
You're a madman.
不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no. No.
甜心 不是这小子干的
Sweetheart, it wasn't my boy.
你给我闭嘴
You shut up.
东尼你给我闭嘴!
Donny, just shut up!
谁想要试试这个的滋味?
Who wants a piece of this, huh?
谁要试试?
Who wants a piece?
哇哦 别 别 别!
Whoa, no, no, no!
没事的 伙计
It's okay, buddy.
只是托德上了件婚纱而已
Todd just fucked the dress.
一切都在掌握之中
It's under control.
为什么香草冰出现在我们房♥里?
What is Vanilla Ice doing in our room?
他是我另一个最好朋友
He's my other best friend.
没错 也是个厉害的饶舌歌♥手
Yeah. And a wicked good rapper.
为他鼓掌 来吧 赶紧的
Give it up for him. Come on, now.
鼓掌吧
Let's give it up.
好小子
My boy.
我不知道这里发生了什么
I don't know what's going on here,
不过我也没时间理这些了 所以...
but I don't have time to deal with this, so...
好吧 这是接下来的安排
Okay, this is what's gonna happen.
我要去洗澡 然后上普拉提课
I'm gonna go take a shower. I'm gonna go to Pilates.
你去把婚纱送到干洗店去!
You're gonna take that dress to the dry cleaners!
然后今晚我们要参加一场彩排晚宴
And then we're gonna have rehearsal dinner tonight,
你要变回三天前的那个正常的托德 好吗?
and you're gonna be the normal Todd from three days ago, right?
先脱掉那副傻杜兰杜兰耳环
And you can start by taking out that stupid Duran Duran earring!
我觉得那个比杜兰更异域风情一点
I was thinking it's more Foreigner.
不是吗?好吧 杜兰杜兰也不错啦
No? No, no, Duran Duran's a good call, though.
我想去跟迪萝斯奶奶完成最后一步了
Guess I'm gonna go finish up with Grandma Delores.
- 好的 - 可以吧?
- Yeah. - Is that all right?
没有 玩的开心点吧
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have fun, buddy. Have fun.
不过别太猛了 别伤着她
Not too much, though. Don't hurt her.
不会的 我会好好完事
No, no. I get it right and keep it tight.
好的
Okay.
听着 我需要些时间来收拾好这里
Look, I need a couple hours to fix this.
嘿 这种情况我们都经历过
Hey, we've all been in that situation,
你没事的 孩子
and you'll be fine, kid.
我给其他人做些煎饼 好吗?
I'll whip up some pancakes for everyone else, all right?
- 好的 - 我超爱薄饼的
- All right. - I love it.
你上了人家人体模型
You jizzed on a mannequin.
放尊重点儿
Respect it.
但是你才十三岁
But you were only 13.
她就是吃你豆腐了
She took advantage of you.
没有 那只是法律说的 苏金
No, all right. That's what the law says, Su-Jin,
但我也不知道...我们就像是心心相印的
but I don't know... We were kind of like soul mates.
要知道 我们之间...是有感应的
You know, there was...There was a connection there.
跟其他人都没有的
I never had it with anyone else.
我要去接个电♥话♥ 抱歉 各位
I'm getting a call. I'm sorry, guys.
别碰这些盘子 我来洗就好
Do not touch these plates. I'm cleaning them.
好吧 苏金?
Okay, Su-Jin?
我是东尼·伯杰
Go for Donny B.
咋咧!
'Wassup!
嘿 小子 怎么了?
Hey, big man. What's going on?
那模型女士怎么了?
How'd it go with the lady?
你搞定了吗?
You patch things up?
差不多吧 挺神奇的
Yeah, pretty much. It was amazing.
干洗店的人说他们绝对见过那种液体组合
The dry cleaner said they've definitely seen that combo of fluid before.
是吧?那些就像是加了奎宁水的杜松子酒
You see? Yeah, those things go together like gin and tonic.
嘿 听着 既然我们是好朋友了
Hey, listen, while I got you,
我在你梳妆台上放了给伴郎的小礼物
I left you a little best man gift on your dresser.
我猜你会很开心的
I think you'll get a kick out of it.
不是吧 我的天啊
You did not. Oh, my God.
我整个身体都激动了
My whole body, like, got a shocked feeling over that.
兄弟 都没人给我送过礼物
Buddy, no one gets me a gift.
你到底在哪?
Where are you, anyways?
我在车里
I'm in the car.
我还是决定去看下妈妈
I decided to go see Mom after all.
你做什么?
You did what?
噢 天啊 正义先锋
Oh, my God. Dukes of Hazzard!
小汉汉
Hansie.
东尼 你在这儿干什么?
Donny, what are you doing here?
我们得马上离开这
We got to get out of here now.
什么?你在说什么?
What? What are you talking about?
这周末是你的婚礼啊 老兄
It's your wedding weekend, dude.
婚礼结束你再来这
You come here after the wedding.
那你就可以把婚戒秀给你妈看
You show your mother your new ring.
那她就开心了
That would make her happy.
等等 你是紧张要见到她吗?
Wait, are you nervous to see her?
小汉汉 我们赶紧走吧
Hansie, can we just blow this place off
喝杯啤酒什么的?我求你了
and have a beer, please? I'm begging you.
看 那是她吗?
Look. Is that her?
噢 天啊
Oh, my God.
你们来啦
There you are.
我的小汉汉 你都长这么大了
My little Hansie, you're all grown up.
你好 妈妈
Hi, Mom.
我都忘了你出生后我看过你没有了
I didn't know if I'd ever see you again.
我知道 很抱歉没再来看你
I know. I'm sorry I stopped visiting.
只是太难克服了
It just got too hard.
没事 我完全能理解
No, I totally understand.
哇哦
Wow.
你的眼睛还是跟我一模一样
You still have my eyes.
那耳饰是不是情夫演唱会之后
Is that the earring that I gave you
我送给你的?
after the Loverboy concert?
是的 麦嘉老师
Yes, it is, Miss McGarricle.
你知道 我每天都在想你
You know, I think about you every day.
我太爱你了 麦嘉老师
Fuck, I love you so much, Miss McGarricle.
我从未停止过对你的爱
I never stopped.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
你还记得...
Do you remember...
噢 天啊 又来了
Oh, God, here we go.
...我教你的那些男女之事吗 东尼?
...all the nasty things that I taught you, Donny?
记得 当然记得 麦嘉老师
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course I do, Miss McGarricle.
你还是我的那个调皮男孩吗?
Are you still my dirty boy?
嗯 我是你所认识最调皮的男孩 麦嘉老师
Yeah, I'm the dirtiest boy you'll ever know, Miss McGarricle.
东尼
Donny.
噢 卧♥槽♥啊
Oh, fuck, yeah.
我现在就硬了 我硬了
I'm hard right now. I'm hard.
好吧 我觉得这好讨厌 所以...
Okay. Yeah, I'm hating that, so...
但是很高兴见到你 老妈 我...
But it is really good to see you, Mom. I...
我也很高兴见到你 宝贝
It's good to see you, too, baby.
你能形容一下你现在的感受吗 汉?
Can you describe what you're feeling right now, Han?
电视台的兰多·摩根?
TV's Randall Morgan?
你在这里干什么?
What are you doing here?
你一定很感触吧
Must be quite emotional for you to
眼看着这女人调戏你老爸 不是吗?
be face-to-face with the woman who molested your father, isn't it?
这是怎么回事?
What is going on right now?
这家伙是谁?
Who is this dude?
听着 在你对我发火之前...
Listen, before you get mad at me...
这就是你来看我的原因?
This is why you came to see me?
为了个真人秀的伏击?
For some reality TV ambush?
- 不是的 - 他们给你多少钱 东尼?
- No. - How much they paying you, Donny?
一分钱都没有 我发誓 我没有...
Nothing, I swear to God. I'm not getting...
五万块让你走进这个监狱
Fifty thousand dollars to deliver you to this prison.
好吧 是五万块 但是我...我没有...
All right, it was 50 grand, but I'm not... I'm not...
我发誓 我已经放弃计划了
I'm not going to do it. I swear to God.
我没有...永远不会拿他的钱
I'm not... I would never take his money.
东尼·伯杰 你都做什么了?
Donny Berger, what have you done?
小汉汉 老兄 是我
Hansie, dude, it's me.
我还是昨晚的我啊
It's the guy from last night.
我们玩的很开心 别听他们瞎说
We had fun. Don't fuck it.
我告诉你 这是...
I'm telling you, this is...